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  • -It is the end of the week, and that's usually

    -現在是週末,這通常是...

  • when I catch up with some personal stuff.

    當我趕上了一些個人的東西。

  • You know, I check my inbox, I return some e-mails

    你知道,我檢查我的收件箱,我回一些郵件。

  • and, of course, I send out thank-you notes.

    當然,我也會發感謝信。

  • Well, I was running a bit behind today, so I thought,

    好吧,我今天跑得有點慢,所以我想。

  • if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like to write out

    如果你們不介意的話,我只想寫出... ...

  • my weekly thank-you notes right now.

    我每週的感謝信現在。

  • Is that -- [ Cheers and applause ]

    是 - [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • You guys are the best.

    你們是最好的。

  • James, can I get some thank-you note writing music, please?

    詹姆斯,能給我一些寫感謝信的音樂嗎?

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • There it is.

    在那裡,它是。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • It looks like he's got secrets.

    看來他是有祕密的。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, "Bachelorette" getting replaced,

    謝謝你,"單身女郎 "被取代。

  • for only being the second most famous reality TV star

    排名第二的真人秀節目明星。

  • to lose their job this week.

    本週將失去工作。

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, Steve Kornacki and John King,

    謝謝你,Steve Kornacki和John King。

  • for being the McSteamy and McDreamy of touchscreens.

    因為它是觸摸屏中的麥斯泰米和麥德瑞。

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • I love everyone's so impressed with the touchscreen.

    我喜歡大家對觸摸屏的印象如此深刻。

  • My daughter was using a touchscreen at six months.

    我的女兒在6個月的時候就開始使用觸摸屏了。

  • She was...

    她是...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, red mirage,

    謝謝你,紅色海市蜃樓。

  • for sounding less like a political term

    拗口

  • and more like the 14th Marvel movie

    而更像是第14部漫威電影

  • to get postponed this year.

    要得到延後,今年。

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • "Red Mirage."

    "紅色幻影"

  • ♪♪ Man, this one's --

    男人,這個人的 -

  • You might want to help me out on this one.

    你可能想幫我解決這個問題。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah. I get to phone a friend on this one.

    是的,我可以給朋友打電話了

  • -Okay. Try it out.

    -好的好吧,試試吧

  • -Yeah, just laugh even if it's not funny.

    -是啊,即使不好笑也要笑。

  • -Okay. [ Laughter ]

    -好的[笑聲]

  • -It's pretty good.

    -很不錯

  • All right, we'll see.

    好吧,我們走著瞧。

  • -Wait, right now? Or -- -What?

    -等等,現在?或者... -什麼?

  • Yeah, now. Well, after I'm done.

    是的,現在。好吧,在我做完之後。

  • -Okay. -After I'm done with the joke.

    -好吧 等我講完這個笑話之後

  • -Okay.

    -好吧

  • [ Laughs ] That was funny. -Wait till --

    這很有趣。-等到 --

  • I didn't do it yet, but once I do it, then you do it.

    我還沒做,但我一做,你就做了。

  • Okay, here we go.

    好了,我們開始吧。

  • -Okay. -Almost.

    -好的 差不多了

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, Drake's new Alpine Yodels,

    謝謝你,德雷克的新阿爾卑斯Yodels。

  • for not going by your original name, Yeti Turds.

    因為你沒有用你的原名,Yeti Turds。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Wait.

    -等一下

  • What? [ Laughter ]

    什麼?[笑聲]

  • -What? That was the original name they went with?

    -什麼?那是他們最初的名字?

  • -Ah. -I don't know, man.

    -啊-我不知道,夥計

  • [ Chuckles ]

    [笑]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, fancy wine openers,

    謝謝你,花式開酒器。

  • for making my guests think that I'm either

    讓我的客人覺得我要麼是。

  • a wine connoisseur or a steampunk alcoholic.

    一個葡萄酒鑑賞家或蒸汽朋克酒鬼。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, owls,

    謝謝你,貓頭鷹。

  • for always looking like you just read Don Jr.'s latest tweet.

    因為你總是一副剛看完小唐最新微博的樣子。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Thank you, election week,

    謝謝你,選舉周。

  • for hopefully coming to an end,

    為希望來結束。

  • and for letting us all go back to a calm, relaxing life

    並讓我們都回到平靜、輕鬆的生活中去。

  • of worrying about a global pandemic.

    擔心全球大流行病的問題。

  • There you go. Those are our thank-you notes.

    給你。這些是我們的感謝信。

-It is the end of the week, and that's usually

-現在是週末,這通常是...

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