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  • >> Stephen: WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO "A LATE SHOW."

    >> 歡迎女士們、先生們來到 "晚間秀"。

  • IT IS 11:35 EAST COAST TIME, AND CBS IS READY TO PROJECT THAT I

    現在是東岸時間11: 35,CBS準備投射我

  • AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

    我是你的主播,史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

  • THOUGH THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE DONALD TRUMP IS GOING TO

    雖然唐納德-特朗普很有可能會去。

  • CHALLENGE THAT IN COURT.

    在法庭上提出質疑。

  • AND 24 HOURS LATER, WE STILL DON'T KNOW THE WINNER OF THE

    24小時後,我們仍然不知道贏家的。

  • PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

    主席選舉:

  • >> I WIN!

    >> 贏了!

  • I WIN!

    我贏了!

  • I WIN!

    我贏了!

  • >> Stephen: GET OUT OF HERE!

    >> Stephen:離開這裡!

  • GO!

    走!

  • MORE ON THAT LATER.

    稍後再談。

  • AS YOU CAN SEE, I AM STILL ON THE ELECTION SET, BECAUSE THE

    你也看到了,我還在選舉現場,因為... ...

  • ELECTION'S STILL GOING ON.

    選舉仍在進行。

  • AS WE KNEW IT WOULD.

    正如我們所知道的那樣。

  • WE PLANNED TO KEEP THIS SET UP FOR DAYS, BECAUSE, COVID.

    我們打算把這個設置保留幾天,因為,COVID,

  • IT'S GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COUNT ALL THE VOTES!

    要花點時間來計算所有的選票!

  • AND IT'S ALL COMING DOWN TO A FEW STATES WHERE THEY'RE STILL

    而這一切都歸結為幾個州,在那裡他們仍然是

  • COUNTING VOTES IN NORTH CAROLINA, GEORGIA, NEVADA, AND

    在北卡羅來納州、喬治亞州、內華達州和華盛頓州計算選票。

  • PENNSYLVANIA-- A HYBRID MIX OF THE SUN BELT AND THE RUST BELT

    賓夕法尼亞州--太陽帶和鏽帶的混合體。

  • THAT I'M CALLING THE "DOES ANYONE HAVE A XANAX BELT."

    那我叫 "有人有XANAX皮帶嗎"。

  • BUT THERE IS SOME BIG NEWS.

    但是有一個重大的新聞。

  • TODAY, WE GOT A CALL ON ONE OF THE SWING STATES, WISCONSIN, A

    今天,我們接到了一個電話,在一個搖擺的州,威斯康星州,A。

  • STATE TRUMP BEAT HILLARY CLINTON IN BY A MERE 22,000

    特朗普以2.2萬分之差戰勝希拉里-克林頓

  • VOTES BACK IN 2016.

    2016年的票數回。

  • OH, MY, HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED, BECAUSE WE CAN NOW CONFIRM, JOE

    哦,我的天,時代已經改變了,因為我們現在可以確認了,喬。

  • BIDEN HAS WON WISCONSIN.

    比登贏得了威斯康星州。

  • WOOOO!

    嗚嗚!

  • THE CHEESEHEADS ARE NOW OFFICIALLY BLUE-CHEESEHEADS.

    奶酪頭現在正式成為藍奶酪頭。

  • SO THEY SMELL WEIRD BUT TASTE GREAT CRUMBLED ON A SALAD,

    所以,他們聞起來怪怪的,但味道很好的沙拉上崩潰。

  • MAYBE WITH A POACHED PEAR, A LITTLE CANDIED WALNUT.

    也許有一個梨子,一個小蜜餞核桃。

  • BASED ON THE CURRENT COUNT, BIDEN IS AHEAD BY OVER 20,000

    根據目前的數據,比登領先2萬多人。

  • VOTES, OR ONE WYOMING.

    票,或一個懷俄明。

  • THAT'S REALLY GOT TO STING, BECAUSE TRUMP HAS CONTINUED TO

    這真的很刺耳,因為特朗普一直都在。

  • MAKE SUCH A DEAL ABOUT WINNING WISCONSIN BACK IN 2016.

    在2016年贏下威斯康星州的時候,做了這麼一個交易。

  • >> REMEMBER WHEN THEY SAY, "DONALD TRUMP HAS WON THE STATE

    >> 記得當他們說,"唐納德-特朗普贏得了州政府"。

  • OF WISCONSIN"?

    威斯康星州的"?

  • WAS THAT A GREAT EVENING, OR WHAT?

    是一個偉大的夜晚,還是什麼?

  • "DONALD TRUMP HAS WON THE STATE OF WISCONSIN."

    "唐納德・特朗普贏得了威斯康星州。"

  • OUT OF THE BLUE COMES "DONALD TRUMP HAS WON THE STATE OF

    出乎意料的是,"唐納德-特朗普贏得了美國的州"。

  • WISCONSIN."

    WISCONSIN。"

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) REMEMBER THAT?

    (歡呼聲和掌聲) 記得嗎?

  • THEY SAID, "DONALD TRUMP HAS WON THE STATE OF WISCONSIN."

    他們說,"唐納德・特朗普贏得了威斯康星州。"

  • THAT WAS A VERY PRETTY SOUND.

    那是一個非常漂亮的聲音。

  • AND THAT WAS IT.

    這就是它。

  • THAT WAS IT.

    這就是它。

  • YOU WERE THE ONE.

    你就是那個人

  • YOU GOT US OVER THE TOP.

    你讓我們過了頭。

  • YOU BETTER DO IT AGAIN.

    你最好再來一次。

  • >> Stephen: AND, JUST LIKE THAT WISCONSIN IS GONE, JUST LIKE A

    >> 史蒂芬: 而且,就像威斯康星州消失了一樣,就像一個。

  • CANDLE IN THE WIND, OR A CHICKEN NUGGET, IN YOUR GENERAL

    風中的燭光,或雞塊,在你的一般。

  • VICINITY.

    VICINITY:

  • TRUMP PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO THIS STATE.

    特朗普在這個州投入了大量的精力。

  • BACK IN OCTOBER, HE APPEARED AT A RALLY IN GREEN BAY WITH

    早在10月,他就在綠色海灣的集會上出現,與

  • QUARTERBACK BRETT FAVRE.

    QUARTERBACK BRETT FAVRE.

  • SADLY, IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME FAVRE HAD LET FANS DOWN BY BEING

    遺憾的是,這不是FAVRE第一次讓球迷失望了,因為他是。

  • CAUGHT ON CAMERA WITH HIS DICTATOR OUT.

    被拍到的時候,他的錄音機沒了。

  • YOU CAN GOOGLE IT, BUT I WOULDN'T.

    你可以谷歌它,但我不會。

  • TRUMP'S MISHANDLING OF THE VIRUS MAY HAVE PLAYED A LARGE PART IN

    特朗普對病毒的處理不當可能在很大程度上起到了作用

  • BIDEN'S WIN, BECAUSE RECENTLY, WISCONSIN HAS BECOME A COVID-19

    BIDEN的勝利,因為最近,威斯康星州已經成為一個COVID-19。

  • HOTSPOT.

    HOTSPOT:

  • BUT WITH THIS WIN, DEMOCRATS ACROSS THE COUNTRY CAN BREATHE A

    但隨著這場勝利,全國各地的民主黨人可以鬆一口氣了。

  • LITTLE EASIER-- EXCEPT FOR THE ONES IN WISCONSIN BECAUSE,

    除了在威斯康星州的那些人,因為:

  • AGAIN, IT'S A COVID-19 HOTSPOT.

    又是一個COVID -19熱點。

  • AND THEN THIS AFTERNOON, THE GREAT STATE OF MICHIGAN WAS

    然後,今天晚上,偉大的密歇根州被。

  • CALLED FOR JOE BIDEN.

    被叫去找喬-比登。

  • NOW, IF YOU THINK ABOUT MICHIGAN AS A HAND, BIDEN TOOK AWAY VOTES

    現在,如果你把密歇根州當做一個手掌,比登就奪走了選票。

  • FROM TRUMP IN THESE AREAS, OKAY.

    從特朗普在這些領域,好吧。

  • AND FINALLY-- WHAT?

    最後... 什麼?

  • HUH?

    咦?

  • LET'S SAY HE FLIPPED THE STATE.

    讓我們說,他翻轉的狀態。

  • WITH THINGS TRENDING IN HIS FAVOR, JOE BIDEN CAME OUT THIS

    隨著事情的趨勢在他的青睞,喬-比登出來這

  • AFTERNOON AND WAS A GROWNUP: >> EVERY VOTE MUST BE COUNTED.

    下午,是一個成年人: >> 每張票都必須計算。

  • NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE OUR DEMOCRACY AWAY FROM US, NOT NOW,

    沒有人要把我們的民主制度從我們身邊奪走,不是現在。

  • NOT EVER.

    永遠不會。

  • AMERICA HAS COME TOO FAR.

    美國已經走得太遠了。

  • AMERICA HAS FOUGHT TOO MANY BATTLES.

    美國已經經歷了太多的戰鬥。

  • AMERICA HAS ENDURED TOO MUCH TO EVER LET THAT HAPPEN.

    美國已經經歷了太多,永遠不會讓它發生。

  • WE, THE PEOPLE, WILL NOT BE SILENCED.

    我們,人民,不會沉默。

  • WE, THE PEOPLE, WILL NOT BE BULLIED.

    我們,人民,不會被欺負。

  • WE, THE PEOPLE, WILL NOT SURRENDER.

    我們,人民,不會屈服。

  • >> Stephen: YES!

    >> Stephen:是!

  • WE, THE PEOPLE, WILL NOT SURRENDER!

    我們,人民,不會投降!

  • WE, THE PEOPLE, WILL JUST DOOM-SCROLL ON TWITTER UNTIL WE

    我們,人民,將只是厄運滾動在Twitter上,直到我們。

  • FREAK OUT AND STRESS EAT ALL OUR KIDS' HALLOWEEN CANDY!

    嚇壞了,緊張的吃了我們所有孩子的萬聖節糖果!

  • I KNOW THERE'S MORE THREE MUSKETEERS, JOHN!

    我知道還有更多的三個火槍手,約翰!

  • AFTER ALL THAT GOOD NEWS FOR BIDEN, IN A MOVE THAT JUST REEKS

    在比登的所有好消息之後,在一個僅僅是要求的舉動中

  • OF DESPERATION AND CHEAP COLOGNE, WITH A MILLION VOTES

    絕望和廉價的哥倫布,有100萬張選票。

  • STILL UNCOUNTED, TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER CAME OUT OF THE

    仍未統計,特朗普的競選經理人出場了。

  • BLUE TO ANNOUNCE, "WE ARE DECLARING A VICTORY IN

    藍軍將宣佈:"我們正在宣佈一場勝利。

  • PENNSYLVANIA."

    賓夕法尼亞州。"

  • BOLD!

    大膽!

  • AND I FULLY EXPECT HIS VICTORY IN PENNSYLVANIA TO BE JUST AS

    我完全期待他在賓夕法尼亞州的勝利,也會是一樣的。

  • SUCCESSFUL AS HIS VICTORY OVER CORONAVIRUS.

    成功地戰勝了冠狀病毒。

  • GOSH, I HOPE HIS ANNOUNCEMENT DOESN'T OVERSHADOW ME DECLARING

    天啊,希望他的公告不會讓我過多的宣稱。

  • MYSELF "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."

    《人物》雜誌的 "活著的最性感男人"。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) I SENSED A POWER VACUUM.

    (笑)我感覺到一個電源真空。

  • IN THE SEXY SPHERE.

    在性感的空間裡。

  • I'M COMING FOR YOU, McCONAUGHEY.

    我為你而來,麥庫克希。

  • ONE REASON FOR THE DELAY IN THE OTHER STATES IS THE MASSIVE

    其他州拖延的一個原因是大規模的

  • AMOUNTS OF MAIL-IN BALLOTS.

    郵寄選票的數量:

  • AND THOSE LAST BALLOTS TO BE COUNTED APPEAR TO BE LARGELY FOR

    而最後要計算的那幾張選票,似乎大部分都是支持的。

  • BIDEN.

    BIDEN:

  • EARLY ON, THINGS HAD LOOKED PRETTY GOOD FOR TRUMP.

    早些時候,事情看起來對特朗普很有利。

  • WE HAD BEEN WARNED THIS WOULD HAPPEN, IN WHAT EXPERTS CALLED A

    我們已經被警告會發生這種情況,在什麼專家所謂的。

  • "RED MIRAGE"-- WHICH IS EITHER THE CHARACTER ELIZABETH OLSEN

    "RED MIRAGE"--既是艾麗薩貝特-奧爾森這個人物,也是她的名字

  • PLAYS IN THE MARVEL MOVIES, OR PUTIN'S CODE NAME FOR TRUMP.

    在《神奇電影》中扮演的角色,或者說普京對特朗普的代號。

  • NOW, I KNOW IT'S HARD TO WAIT FOR NEVADA AND PENNSYLVANIA

    現在,我知道等待內華達州和賓夕法尼亞州是很困難的。

  • RESULTS, BUT JUST 24 HOURS OF WAITING HAS GIVEN BIDEN ARIZONA

    結果,但僅僅24小時的等待就給了比登-亞利桑那州。

  • AND WISCONSIN.

    和威斯康星州。

  • AND MICHIGAN.

    和密歇根州。

  • SO, I'VE JUST GOT ONE BIT OF ADVICE:

    所以,我有一個建議。

  • >> JUST PLAY IT COOL, BOY.

    >> 只是發揮它的樂趣,男孩。

  • >> WHAT'S FONZIE LIKE?

    >> 芳澤喜歡什麼?

  • >> COOL.

    >> COOL。

  • >> WHAT?

    >> 什麼?

  • >> COOL.

    >> COOL。

  • >> CORRECTOMUNDO.

    >> CORRECTOMUNDO.

  • >>ATTEMPT TO BE COOL.

    >>嘗試酷一點。

  • >> ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, CHILL.

    >> 好了,大家都冷靜下來。

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S BIPARTISAN ADVICE.

    >> Stephen:這是兩黨的建議。

  • THAT LAST GUY'S A REPUBLICAN.

    最後一個傢伙是個共和黨人。

  • THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

    謝謝你,醫生。

  • IF COVID HAS TAUGHT US NOTHING, IT'S THAT PATIENCE IS VALUABLE.

    如果科維德沒有教給我們什麼,那就是耐心是有價值的。

  • REMEMBER WHEN THE PANDEMIC STARTED, A TRIP TO THE GROCERY

    記得當潘迪克開始的時候,去雜貨店的旅行。

  • STORE WOULD LAST EIGHT HOURS BECAUSE YOU HAD TO WIPE DOWN

    店裡的東西只能用八小時,因為你必須擦拭。

  • EVERY SINGLE GRAPE BEFORE YOU PUT THEM IN THE REFRIGERATOR?

    把每一顆葡萄放進冰箱之前,都要把它們放進去?

  • THIS IS THE SAME THING.

    這是同樣的事情。

  • WE'RE WIPING DOWN EVERY SINGLE BALLOT BEFORE WE PUT THEM IN

    我們要把每一張選票都擦掉,然後再投進去。

  • AMERICA'S FRIDGE.

    AMERICA'S FRIDGE.

  • AND, HOPEFULLY, WHILE WE'RE AT IT, WE'LL END UP THROWING OUT

    而且,希望在這段時間裡,我們最終會扔掉... ...

  • THAT SPOILED HAM WE BOUGHT FOUR YEARS AGO.

    我們四年前買的那隻被寵壞的火腿。

  • SO WAITING IS CLEARLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

    所以等待顯然是正確的做法。

  • OF COURSE, ONE PERSON WHO ALWAYS FAILS THE MARSHMALLOW TEST IS

    當然,一個人誰總是失敗的 MARSHMALLOW測試是:

  • DONALD TRUMP, BECAUSE LAST NIGHT AT 12:45 A.M., WITH MILLIONS OF

    唐納德-特朗普,因為昨晚12點45分,與數百萬的

  • BALLOTS UNCOUNTED AND BIDEN AHEAD IN THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE

    未計算的選票和選舉學院中的投標

  • AND THE POPULAR VOTE, TRUMP TWEETED, "WE ARE WINNING BIG,

    和民眾的投票,特朗普在推特上說:"我們正在大獲全勝。

  • BUT THEY ARE TRYING TO STEAL THE ELECTION.

    但他們試圖竊取選舉。

  • WE WILL NEVER LET THEM DO IT.

    我們永遠不會讓他們這樣做。

  • VOTES CANNOT BE CAST AFTER THE POLES ARE CLOSED!"

    在投票站關閉後不能投票!"

  • FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE LITERALLY NOT WINNING.

    首先,你根本就沒贏。

  • SECOND, I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU MEAN THAT SPELLING OF POLES.

    第二,我真的不認為你說的是杆子的拼法。

  • ( AS TRUMP ) "I HATE IT WHEN THE POLES CLOSE.

    "我討厭極點關閉的時候。

  • ALL THE DANCERS LEAVE THE STAGE, AND YOU'RE LEFT ALONE, TOTALLY

    所有的舞者都離開了舞臺,只剩下你一個人,完全沒有了

  • BROKE, COVERED IN GLITTER AND SPITTLE.

    壞了,滿身都是閃光和斑點。

  • GOD, I MISS THOSE GIRLS, ESPECIALLY MY FAVORITE STRIPPER

    天啊,我很想念那些女孩,尤其是我最喜歡的脫衣舞女郎。

  • OF THEM ALL: RED MIRAGE!" ( LAUGHTER )

    其中:紅色幻影!"(笑)。

  • SO, THAT'S NOT GOOD.

    所以,這不是很好。

  • BUT, YOU KNOW, TWEET SCHMEET.

    但是,你知道,TWEET SCHMEET。

  • IT'S NOT LIKE RIGHT AFTER MIDNIGHT HE MARCHED INTO THE

    不像午夜時分,他衝進屋裡。

  • EAST ROOM AND DECLARED VICTORY AND SAID "STOP COUNTING."

    東廂,並宣佈勝利,說:"停止計算。"

  • HE WAITED UNTIL 2:00 A.M. FOR THAT.

    他一直等到凌晨兩點才回來。

  • >> WE WERE GETTING READY TO WIN THIS ELECTION.

    >> 我們正準備贏得這次選舉。

  • FRANKLY, WE DID WIN THIS ELECTION.

    坦率地說,我們確實贏得了這次選舉。

  • >> Stephen: THERE IT IS: A POWER GRAB BY A TERRIFIED

    >> 在那裡,它是。A Power GRAB BY A TERRIFIED(驚恐):

  • STRONGMAN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT.

    《夜幕下的強者》。

  • CLASSIC.

    經典。

  • IF THERE'S ANYTHING 2:00 A.M. IS KNOWN FOR, IT'S DESPERATE MOVES

    如果說凌晨兩點有什麼是眾所周知的,那就是絕望的舉動。

  • BY SAD LITTLE MEN WHO ARE AFRAID TO GO HOME FEELING LIKE A LOSER.

    由悲傷的小男人誰是害怕回家感覺像一個失敗者。

  • NOW, THE MINUTE HE OPENED WHAT I LEGALLY HAVE TO CALL HIS MOUTH,

    現在,他一開口,我就得合法地叫他的嘴。

  • EVERYONE KNEW THIS BEHAVIOR WAS WRONG AND UN-AMERICAN.

    每個人都知道這種行為是錯誤的,非美國人。

  • AND NOT JUST DEMOCRATS.

    不僅僅是民主黨人。

  • TRUMP WAS CONDEMNED BY FOLKS LIKE CHRIS WALLACE, RICK

    特朗普受到了像克里斯-沃利斯、裡克這樣的人的譴責。

  • SANTORUM, AND CHRIS CHRISTIE.

    SANTORUM,和CHRIS CHRISTIE。

  • THESE PEOPLE ARE HARDLY LIBERALS.

    這些人都是嚴格的自由主義者。

  • FOR PETE'S SAKE, CHRIS CHRISTIE HAS STOOD BY YOU THROUGH THICK

    看在佩特的份上,克里斯-克里斯蒂一直陪著你。

  • AND THIN.

    和薄。

  • IN FACT, HE STOOD SO CLOSE BY YOU THAT YOU NEARLY KILLED HIM

    事實上,他離你很近,你差點殺了他。

  • WITH COVID!

    與COVID!

  • THEN, OL' TATER DICK PUT THE "DICK" IN "TATOR," WHEN HE

    然後,老色狼迪克把 "迪克 "放在 "色狼 "裡,當他...

  • THREATENED TO END THE VOTE COUNT.

    威脅要結束計票。

  • >> SO WE WILL BE GOING TO THE U.S. SUPREME COURT.

    >> 所以我們會去美國最高法院。

  • WE WANT ALL VOTING TO STOP.

    我們希望所有的投票都停止。

  • WE DON'T WANT THEM TO FIND ANY BALLOTS AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING

    我們不希望他們在凌晨4點發現任何選票。

  • AND ADD THEM TO THE LIST, OKAY?

    然後把它們加到名單上,好嗎?

  • ( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, I

    ( 掌聲 ) >> Stephen:首先,我

  • DON'T KNOW WHY I NEED TO SAY THIS TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE

    我不知道為什麼要對美國總統說這句話

  • UNITED STATES, BUT THEY'RE NOT FINDING THEM.

    美國,但他們沒有找到他們。

  • THEY'RE COUNTING THEM.

    他們正在計算他們。

  • IF YOU RECITE THE NUMBERS ONE THROUGH TEN, YOU DON'T FIND THE

    如果你念出1到10的數字,你就找不到了。

  • NUMBER SEVEN!

    七號!

  • YOU COUNT TO IT, PASS IT, THEN KEEP COUNTING, AND REALIZE THAT

    你數到它,通過它,然後繼續數,並意識到:

  • OH, YEAH, BIDEN CLEARLY WON WISCONSIN.

    哦,是的,比登顯然贏得了威斯康星州。

  • PLUS, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES CAN'T ASK FOR

    此外,美國總統不能要求。

  • VOTING TO STOP.

    投票停止。

  • HE'S ONLY THE PRESIDENT BECAUSE OF VOTING.

    他只是因為投票才當上了總統。

  • VOTING IS AMERICA'S WHOLE THING.

    投票是美國的全部事情。

  • THAT'S LIKE ARBY'S CHANGING THEIR SLOGAN TO "WE MUST STOP

    這就像阿比把他們的口號改成了 "我們必須停止"。

  • THE MEATS!" ( LAUGHTER )

    肉!"(笑)。

  • THEY REALLY-- THEY REALLY MUST, BY THE WAY.

    他們真的... 他們真的必須,順便說一下。

  • THERE ARE LIMITS.

    有限制。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THERE ARE LIMITS TO EVEN

    (笑)有限制的,即使是

  • AMERICA'S MEAT NEEDS.

    美國的肉類需求。

  • I BEG YOU, ARBIES.

    我求你了,亞伯斯。

  • DON'T MAKE US TAKE YOU UP BEFORE THE HAGUE.

    別讓我們在海格之前把你帶上去。

  • AFTER GOING FULL FRONTAL FASCIST, TRUMP WENT FULL WHINY

    * AFTERING FULL FRONTAL FASCIST, TRUMP WILL FULL WHINY * 特朗普走了,他又哭了。

  • BABY.

    BABY:

  • >> WE WERE GETTING READY FOR A BIG CELEBRATION.

    >> 我們正在準備一個大的慶祝活動。

  • WE WERE WINNING EVERYTHING, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT WAS JUST

    我們贏得了一切,和所有的突然,它是公正的。

  • CALLED OFF.

    被叫停。

  • LITERALLY, WE WERE JUST ALL SET TO GET OUTSIDE AND JUST

    字面上,我們只是所有的設置得到 外面,只是。

  • CELEBRATE SOMETHING THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, SO GOOD.

    慶祝一些事情,是如此的美麗,如此的好。

  • >> Stephen: SO BEAUTIFUL, SO GOOD?

    >> 史蒂芬:這麼漂亮,這麼好?

  • WELL, YOU WERE CELEBRATING THE OTTERS WHO HOLD HANDS WHILE THEY

    好吧,你在慶祝OTTERS誰抱著手,當他們

  • SLEEP?

    SLEEP?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE I'D VOTE FOR THAT.

    因為我會投贊成票。

  • YOU MIGHT THINK ALL THAT WAS JUST THE ACT OF A TWEAKED-OUT

    你可能會認為這只是一個瘋子的行為。

  • MANIAC COMING OFF HIS DEXY, UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON, WHEN HE

    MANIAC從他的DEXY,直到今天下午,當他。

  • PUT HIS MUSSOLINI WHERE HIS MOUTH IS, AND HIS CAMPAIGN SAID

    把他的穆索里尼放在他的嘴裡,而他的競選說:

  • IT WOULD SUE TO STOP MICHIGAN AND PENNSYLVANIA'S BALLOT

    它將起訴阻止密歇根州和賓夕法尼亞州的投票。

  • COUNTS.

    數:

  • SO IF YOU'RE KEEPING TRACK, TRUMP IS NOW TRYING TO OBSTRUCT

    所以,如果你跟上節奏,特朗普現在正試圖阻礙

  • THE COUNT IN...

    計數...

  • I'M SORRY, I'M BEING TOLD THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS SUING TO STOP

    抱歉,有人告訴我,特朗普的競選團隊正在起訴阻止。

  • US COUNTING THE NUMBER OF STATES THEY ARE SUING TO STOP THE COUNT

    美國正在計算他們起訴的國家數量,以阻止計數。

  • IN.

    IN:

  • OKAY, AND THAT THIS IS-- I HAVE NOTHING IN MY EAR.

    好吧,這是 - 我沒有什麼在我的耳朵。

  • THIS IS JUST MY HAND.

    這只是我的手。

  • OKAY.

    好的。

  • I HAVE SOMETHING HERE, BUT I TOOK IT OUT, BECAUSE CHRIS IS

    我有一些東西在這裡,但我把它拿出來, 因為克里斯是。

  • TRYING TO CONTROL ME LUKE A PUPPET.

    試圖控制我盧克一個傀儡。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A LONG STORY BEHIND IT.

    (笑)這是一個很長的故事背後。

  • LET'S EARN IT.

    讓我們賺取它。

  • BY THE WAY, EVY IS HERE.

    順便說一下,每個人都在這裡。

  • EVY IS HERE, EVERYBODY.

    每個人都在這裡,每個人。

  • THERE YOU GO.

    你去那裡。

  • THAT'S WHY I'M IN A GOOD MOOD TONIGHT.

    這就是為什麼我在一個好心情今晚。

  • NO OTHER REASON.

    沒有其他原因。

  • HERE'S SOME OTHER RESULTS I CAN TELL YOU.

    這是我可以告訴你的一些其他結果。

  • AS USUAL, THE STATE THAT GOT US INTO THIS MESS WAS FLORIDA.

    和往常一樣,讓我們陷入困境的國家是佛羅里達州。

  • EVERY FOUR YEARS, DEMOCRATS HOPE THEY'LL TAKE IT.

    每隔四年,民主黨人就希望能拿下它。

  • BUT ONCE AGAIN, LAST NIGHT, FLORIDA WAS CALLED FOR DONALD

    但再一次,昨晚,佛羅里達州被稱為唐納德。

  • TRUMP.

    特朗普:

  • FLORIDA IS OFICIALLY AMERICA'S CHEATING BOYFRIEND.

    佛羅里達州是正式的美國的欺騙男友。

  • WHY DO WE ALWAYS THINK WE CAN CHANGE HIM?

    為什麼我們總是認為我們可以改變他?

  • DEMOCRATS ALSO HAD HIGH HOPES FOR FLIPPING TEXAS, WHICH WOULD

    民主黨人還對翻轉德州抱有很大希望,這將使

  • HAVE BEEN QUITE A FEAT.

    已經很有特色了。

  • TEXAS HASN'T GONE FOR THE DEMOCRAT SINCE JIMMY CARTER BACK

    自吉米-卡爾特回來後,德州就沒有支持過民主黨人。

  • IN 1976.

    在1976年:

  • AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN REALLY WANT TO VOTE FOR HIM, BUT THEY HAD TO

    他們甚至都不想投他的票,但他們不得不投。

  • AFTER HE ATE THAT 72-OUNCE STEAK.

    在他吃了那72盎司的牛排之後,

  • THAT'S THE RULES.

    這就是規則。

  • WELL, LAST NIGHT, TEXAS REMAINED TEXAS, BECAUSE IT WAS CALLED FOR

    昨晚,德克薩斯仍然是德克薩斯,因為它是被要求的。

  • DONALD TRUMP.

    唐納德・特朗普:

  • EVEN AFTER HE BUNGLED THE CORONAVIRUS.

    即使他搞砸了冠狀病毒,

  • TEXAS MAY "REMEMBER THE ALAMO" BUT, APPARENTLY, THEY HAVE

    德州可能會 "記住阿拉莫",但是,顯然,他們已經。

  • "FORGOTTEN THE 230,000."

    "忘了二十三萬。"

  • WYOMING WAS A BIT OF A SHOCKER FOR ANYBODY WHO HAS NEVER BEEN

    懷俄明州對任何一個從未去過的人來說,都是一個不小的打擊。

  • TO WYOMING.

    到懷俄明州。

  • FOR THE REST OF US, WE SAW IT COMING WHEN IT WENT DONALD

    對於我們其他人來說,我們看到它的到來時,它走了唐納德。

  • TRUMP.

    特朗普:

  • MAKES SENSE, GIVEN THAT THE STATE SYMBOL IS LITERALLY A MAN

    有道理,因為國家符號實際上是一個人。

  • WHO HAS TOTALLY LOST CONTROL OF THE SITUATION AND HANGING ON FOR

    誰完全失去了對局勢的控制,並堅持了下來。

  • DEAR LIFE.

    親愛的生活。

  • SPEAKING OF BIG ELECTORAL WINS: RHODE ISLAND ISN'T ONE OF THEM.

    說到大選勝利:羅得島不是其中之一。

  • BUT, NEVERTHELESS, VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN HAS WON THE

    但是,無論如何,比登副主席贏得了比賽。

  • STATE OF RHODE ISLAND, JUST NARROWLY BEATING OUT THE STATE'S

    羅得島州,只是勉強擊敗了該州的政府。

  • THIRD-PARTY CANDIDATE: CALAMARI MARINARA.

    第三方候選人:CALAMARI MARINARA。

  • SOCIAL DISTANCING AT THE POLLS WAS PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT IN

    民意調查中的社會距離特別困難。

  • RHODE ISLAND, BECAUSE IF YOU STAND SIX FEET AWAY FROM THE

    羅得島,因為如果你站在離它六英尺遠的地方。

  • NEXT GUY, YOU'RE IN CONNECTICUT.

    下一個傢伙,你是在康涅狄格州。

  • BIDEN HAS MADE SOME-- I LIKE THAT JOKE.

    比登已經做了一些 - 我喜歡這個笑話。

  • I ARE RECENTLY BEEN TO RHODE ISLAND.

    我最近去了羅得島。

  • IT'S A LOVELY STATE.

    這是一個可愛的州。

  • HELLO, RHODE ISLAND.

    你好,羅得島。

  • BIDEN HAS MADE SOME INROADS IN THE UPPER MIDWEST, BECAUSE

    比登已經在中西部上游地區進行了一些投資,因為

  • MINNESOTA HAS GONE FOR JOE BIDEN.

    明尼蘇達州為喬-比登而去。

  • THAT'S RIGHT!

    沒錯!

  • PRINCE'S HOME STATE WANTS TO PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999, OR ANY

    王子的家鄉要像1999年一樣舉行派對,或者任何一個

  • OTHER YEAR WITH A DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT.

    其他年份的民主黨主席。

  • AND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, WE GOT RESULTS FROM AMERICA'S

    而在午夜時分,我們得到了美國的結果。

  • MOST ISLAND-Y STATE-- SORRY, RHODE ISLAND-- HAWAII.

    最島 -Y狀態 - 對不起,羅得島 - 哈瓦伊。

  • AS EXPECTED, HAWAII HAS GONE FOR JOE BIDEN.

    正如預期的那樣,哈瓦伊已經為喬-比登而去。

  • THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS EXPECTED TO CONTEST THE RESULTS, CLAIMING

    特朗普競選團隊預計將對結果提出質疑,聲稱

  • MOST OF THOSE VOTES WERE ACTUALLY CAST IN KENYA.

    這些選票大部分是在肯亞投的。

  • AND THAT'S EXCITING BECAUSE-- AND YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW THIS

    這是令人興奮的,因為... ... 而你可能不知道這一點。

  • BECAUSE HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT IT-- JOE BIDEN IS ACTUALLY

    因為他從不談論它 -- 喬-比登實際上是真正的

  • FRIENDS WITH ONE VERY FAMOUS HAWAIIAN, WHO SHALL REMAIN

    與一位非常著名的夏威夷人做朋友,他將永遠留在這裡。

  • BARACK OBAMA.

    巴拉克・奧巴馬。

  • BUT WE'RE STILL NOT SURE WHO WILL TAKE CONTROL OF THE SENATE,

    但我們還不知道誰會控制參議院。

  • BUT WE DO KNOW SOME RESULTS.

    但我們知道一些結果。

  • FOR EXAMPLE, IN MY HOME STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, THE SURPRISINGLY

    例如,在我的家鄉南卡羅來納州,令人驚訝的是,在我的家鄉,南卡羅來納州是一個很好的地方。

  • TIGHT SENATE RACE HAS BEEN CALLED FOR LINDSEY GRAHAM.

    激烈的參議院選舉已經為林賽-格雷厄姆拉開序幕。

  • AND GRAHAM GAVE A MOVING VICTORY SPEECH IN WHICH HE THANKED THE

    格雷厄姆發表了一篇感人的勝利演說,他在演說中感謝了美國政府。

  • PRESIDENT.

    主席:

  • >> HE'S A RACE-BAITING, XENOPHOBIC, RELIGIOUS BIGOT.

    >> 他是一個種族仇視,仇外,宗教白痴。

  • YOU KNOW HOW YOU MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?

    你知道如何讓美國再次偉大嗎?

  • TELL DONALD TRUMP TO GO TO HELL.

    告訴唐納德・特朗普去地獄。

  • >> Stephen: SO BEAUTIFUL.

    >> 史蒂芬:太美了。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

    我們為你準備了一場精彩的演出。

  • TONIGHT.

    今晚。

  • SHEP SMITH IS HERE.

    謝潑史密斯在這裡。

  • YEAH, THAT SHEP SMITH.

    是的,那SHEP史密斯。

  • BUT WHEN WE RETURN, BALLOT INITIATIVES!

    但是,當我們回來的時候,投票倡議!

  • TEMPTED?

    TEMPTED?

  • STICK AROUND.

    堅持下去。

  • ♪ ♪ ♪

    ♪ ♪ ♪

>> Stephen: WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO "A LATE SHOW."

>> 歡迎女士們、先生們來到 "晚間秀"。

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