Election Day is just one week away.

距離選舉日只有一週時間了。

One week or 719 mawr Trump rallies.

一週或719次特朗普集會。

According Toa one gaming site, the 2020 Election could go down as the most bet on event in history.

根據Toa一家博彩網站的說法，2020年的大選可能會成為歷史上投注最多的事件。

Finally, something to bring a little excitement to what would have otherwise been an incredibly dull evening.

終於，有些東西能給這個本來會非常沉悶的夜晚帶來一點刺激。

I mean, gambling on the election results.

我是說，賭選舉結果。

Which means people are gonna be at home watching CNN like, Come on, sleepy Joe.

這意味著人們會在家裡看CNN，就像，來吧，瞌睡的喬。

Come on.

來吧。

You bring Pepper a payday.

你給Pepper帶來了一個發薪日。

Come on, Joe.

來吧，喬。

Don't slow down, buddy.

不要慢下來，夥計。

Go Is your high rifles?

去你的高步槍嗎？

Were you writing that?

是你寫的嗎？

We've never talked about it on the show.

我們從來沒有在節目中談論過這個問題。

Yeah, I'm professionals, e I'm not hitting him for me, E What would you do?

是啊，我是專業人士，我不會為我打他，你會怎麼做？

Ready if you won the lottery?

如果你中了彩票，準備好了嗎？

We're pretending like you haven't in life already.

我們在假裝你還沒有在生活中。

But what would you do?

但你會怎麼做？

What would you do if you won the lottery?

如果你中了彩票，你會怎麼做？

How much?

多少錢？

See, that's when you know you're rich.

你看，那時候你就知道自己很有錢了。

That that's how you know how rich Reggie is that when your question is how much well is in 10 It wouldn't make a huge never watched the UFC fight.

這就是你怎麼知道雷吉有多有錢，當你的問題是多少好是在10它不會使一個巨大的從來沒有看過UFC的戰鬥。

Never will I guarantee you that you could offer me money, Thio.

我不會向你保證你能給我錢，Thio.

Endorse it and I wouldn't that is saying something.

認可它，我不會那是說的。

Yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊。

Ah!

啊！

Woman ordered a gremlin cake for her son's birthday, but when the cake arrived, it did not look like the photo on the website.

女子為兒子過生日訂了一個小精靈蛋糕，但蛋糕到手後，卻和網站上的照片不一樣。

Here's the cake that she wanted on.

這是她想上的蛋糕。

Here's what she got.

這是她得到的。

Now that I think about this might be the best visual summation of the year.

現在想來這可能是今年最好的視覺總結了。

2020.

2020.

How it Started and How it's Going.

它是如何開始的，又是如何發展的。

Ah, Homeowners Association in Texas has asked a woman to take down her inappropriate Halloween decorations because they featured skeletons posed on stripper poles.

啊，德克薩斯州的業主協會要求一名女子取下她不恰當的萬聖節裝飾，因為這些裝飾上有在脫衣舞女郎杆上擺出的骷髏。

Right here they are here, Look at that.

在這裡，他們在這裡，看那個。

Here's my thing with this right.

這是我的東西，這個權利。

I like that.

我喜歡這樣

The homeowners association said that the decorations were inappropriate because of the stripper poles, not because they showed deceased humans whose flesh has rotted away.

業主協會表示，這些裝飾品不合適，是因為脫衣杆，而不是因為它們展示了肉體已經腐爛的死亡人類。

It's rotting away.

它正在腐爛。

They were very decades ago, and their flesh has been eaten by maggots and worms.

他們很幾十年前，肉已經被蛆蟲吃掉了。

It's composited, and they somehow come back to life after their families have mourned them.

這是合成的，他們在家人哀悼之後，不知為何又活過來了。

That's fine.

那就好

It's the fact that they're strippers now.

是他們現在是脫衣舞娘的事實。

Today is National Pitbull Awareness Day.

今天是全國比特犬宣傳日。

Did you know this now We don't normally do things like this on the show, but it's It's an issue that's near and dear to many people who work here's hearts.

你現在知道了嗎？ 我們通常不會在節目中做這樣的事情，但這是一個對很多在這裡工作的人來說很重要的問題。

And we thought we wanted to take a moment and raise awareness about this sweet breed of pop in order to help combat their negative and often inaccurate portrayal.

我們認為我們想花點時間來提高人們對這一甜蜜品種的認識，以幫助打擊他們的負面和經常不準確的描述。

Excuse me?

你說什麼？

What?

什麼？

Well, you said we were supposed to do something special for National Pitbull Awareness Day, which up until two minutes ago, I thought was to raise awareness for the greatest top forties rapper ever to come out of Miami Dade.

你說過我們要為全國比特犬宣傳日做一些特別的事情 直到兩分鐘前 我還以為是為了提高人們對邁阿密戴德最偉大的四十年代說唱歌手的認識呢。

The one the only pitbull.

一個唯一的鬥牛犬。

I think you're the only person who took this cause to mean anything other than what it meant.

我想你是唯一一個把這個事業當成了其他意思的人。

Okay, so can we please just really I'm the only person don't look at May.

好吧，所以我們能不能請只是真的我是唯一的人不要看五月。

Up until five minutes ago, I didn't know who people waas.

直到五分鐘前，我還不知道人家是誰。

This is just the way I roll.

我就是這樣的。

Baby, here's my question.

寶貝，我的問題是

Whose phone is that?

那是誰的電話？

Oh, it might be mine.

哦，這可能是我的。

Your baby.

你的寶貝。

Oh, babe.

哦，寶貝。

Didn't realize the old phone was on loud.

沒想到舊手機開了個大音量。

Just gone off during the show.

剛剛在表演的時候走了。

You calling Thio?

你叫Thio?

Talk about the Dodgers.

說說道奇隊。

You are.

你是。

The phone just went off during the show and I didn't have it on vibrate.

手機只是在表演過程中響了一下，我沒有開震動。

Sorry, babe.

對不起，寶貝。

Were you calling for anything in particular weight?

你是不是要求什麼特別的重量？

Well, then good bye.

好吧，那麼再見了。

Yeah, well, I gotta tell you, Dodgers fans, we got our This is Tara.

好吧，我得告訴你，道奇隊的球迷們，我們有我們的 "塔拉"。

Rob, This show is a disaster.

羅布，這個節目是一個災難。

This show is an absolute disaster.

這個節目絕對是一場災難。

We haven't changed the script.

我們沒有改變劇本。

Oh, my.

哦，我們。

So this morning, big breakthrough.

所以今天早上，大突破。

We booked Clayton Kershaw on right here on the late Late Show.

我們預訂克萊頓克肖就在這裡 在晚期節目。

Clayton Kershaw.

克萊頓-克肖。

Andi.

安迪

Literally four seconds before the show, he canceled.

就在演出前四秒，他取消了。

I know.

我知道，我知道

Why did he cancel Rob?

他為什麼要取消羅布？

Did we get a reason?

我們有理由嗎？

Way did.

途徑了。

He's doing Kimmel tomorrow.

他明天要上金梅爾節目

Clayton Kershaw.

克萊頓-克肖。

What's gonna be here?

這裡會有什麼？

He's not.

他不是

But it will be on Kimmel tomorrow.

但明天會上金梅爾節目

I don't know what to tell you.

我不知道該怎麼跟你說。

Like that's the end of the monarch.

就像那是君主的末日。