and it was a job for me.

而這對我來說是一份工作。

Whether it was shooting 'em, some of them was stabbing 'em,

不管是射殺他們，還是刺殺他們。

some of them was batting 'em.

他們中的一些人是打擊'時間。

At this point, I look back and I wish I never did it.

此時，我回想起來，我希望我從來沒有做過。

(soft music)

（輕音樂）

Hey, I'm John Alite, ex-Gambino enforcer hitman.

嘿，我是約翰-艾利特，前甘比諾執法者殺手。

I'm an advocator now for children,

我現在是孩子們的代言人。

prison reform, Second Chance Program

監獄改革，第二次機會方案

and also a co-author of several books.

同時也是幾本書的合著者。

And this is my story.

這就是我的故事。

I grew up in a normal household I guess.

我是在一個普通的家庭長大的吧。

Albanian typical household.

阿爾巴尼亞人的典型家庭。

I was raised as a ball player and a fighter

我從小就是個球星，也是個鬥士。

since I'm a little kid.

因為我是一個小孩子。

My dad believed in the boxing world, fighting.

我爸爸相信在拳擊界，打架。

His concern was more with education in the streets

他更關心的是街道的教育問題

and being able to survive.

並能夠生存下去。

Coming from a communist regime in Albania,

來自阿爾巴尼亞的共產主義政權。

and coming from Lower East Side

和來自下東區的

where he had taught us to be tough guys I guess.

在那裡，他教我們成為硬漢，我想。

In New York, there's five major families.

在紐約，有五大家族。

Gambino family is one of the stronger families

甘比諾家族是較強的家族之一

out of the five.

五人中。

So I started getting involved with the Gambino family.

所以我開始和甘比諾家族扯上關係。

One of them was my baseball coach as a young kid,

其中一個是我小時候的棒球教練。

was Anthony and Albert Ruggiano.

是安東尼和阿爾伯特-魯賈諾。

Their father was nicknamed Fat Andy Ruggiano,

他們的父親綽號叫胖子安迪-魯賈諾。

who was a made member of the Gambino family and Murder Inc.

他是甘比諾家族和謀殺公司的成員。

He was a guy that raised me.

他是一個養育我的人。

And also through Lucky Luciano,

還通過幸運盧奇諾。

was a famous gangster's first cousin, Charlie Luciano,

是著名黑幫老大查理-盧奇諾的大表哥。

which we called Blackie.

我們叫它黑仔

He was a partner with my uncle in a gambling den

他跟我叔叔是賭坊的合夥人

out in the South Bronx.

在南布朗克斯。

I was raised by these guys as early as five years old.

我早在五歲的時候就被這些人養大了。

I was in gambling dens,

我是在賭博窩點。

and I was at different card games, craps games,

我在不同的紙牌遊戲，骰子游戲。

and I was exposed to other gangsters through them.

我通過他們接觸到了其他的黑幫分子。

Later on in life as a teenager,

後來在少年時期的生活中。

I started running tickets and numbers and bookmaking slips

我開始跑票、跑號、跑記賬單了

from a local delicatessen I worked at

我在當地一家熟食店工作的時候就有了

and the backroom was used as payphones

而後面的房間則被用作公用電話

for illegal gambling and for horse betting.

非法賭博和賭馬；

So I would run slips across the street

所以我就在街上溜達

to Luchese guys.

對Luchese的傢伙。

Louis and George Gatti, I dated the daughter of.

路易斯和喬治-加蒂，我和他們的女兒約會。

I guess as the years went on,

我想隨著歲月的流逝。

I started becoming an enforcer

我開始成為一名執法者

without knowing I was becoming one.

在不知不覺中，我已經成為了一個人。

I started going to the gym regularly

我開始定期去健身房

as a fighter, a boxer, with a lot of guys from the street.

作為一個拳手，一個拳擊手， 與許多人從街上。

In the middle of collecting debts for gambling and sports

在追討賭球和體育債務的過程中。

and horse rooms, they would ask me eventually

和馬房，他們最終會問我

if I had trouble collecting to hurt them.

如果我難以收集傷害他們。

And it became a regular business for me.

而這也成了我的一項固定業務。

As far as hurting guys, I got used to it.

至於傷害人，我已經習慣了。

I got forceful when my bosses,

當我的老闆時，我變得很強勢。

whoever they may be at that time

無論當時是誰

would tell me what to do.

會告訴我該怎麼做。

At that time it was a lot of guys from the Luchese family

那時候是很多盧切斯家族的人。

that I was actually running around doing those things for.

我其實是奔波在做這些事情的。

Later on it became the Gambino family as I got older.

後來隨著我年齡的增長，變成了甘比諾家族。

As the years went on, working and selling drugs

隨著歲月的流逝，打工和賣毒品

in Rikers Island, which is one of the bigger county prisons

在萊克斯島，這是一個較大的縣級監獄。

that everybody from our neighborhoods

我們社區的每個人

in Brooklyn and Queens end up going to

在布魯克林和皇后區，最終去

if you get locked up.

如果你被關起來。

There was 25000 inmates.

有25000名囚犯。

And I started working for Angelo Ruggiero,

然後我開始為安吉洛-魯吉羅工作。

known as a real tough guy.

被稱為一個真正的硬漢。

He asked me to start moving heroine

他叫我開始搬女主角

within the prison system, which I started doing.

在監獄系統內，我開始做。

From that, I started doing some shootings,

從此，我開始做一些拍攝。

baseball bat beatings.

棒球棒毆打。

I've been accused of shooting close to 60 people.

我被指控射殺了近60人。

I believe they accused me of shooting.

我相信他們指控我開槍。

I think that number's exaggerated,

我覺得這個數字太誇張了。

and it's a lot to say how many of those people I killed

而我殺了多少人，這是個很大的問題。

but I would say well over a dozen of those people have died.

但我想說的是，這些人中已經有十幾個人死了。

By accident, I baseball batted one of my friends too.

不小心，我也把我的一個朋友打成了棒球。

I got accustomed to being violent unfortunately.

不幸的是，我習慣了暴力。

For some friends, some of it was business

對於一些朋友來說，有些是生意

and some of it just became a natural thing to me too

有些人對我來說也是很自然的事了

to hurt and kill.

傷害和殺害。

Unfortunately that was part of the life

不幸的是，這是生活的一部分

of being a gangster.

的是一個黑幫分子。

As I grew in the mob world, like any job,

隨著我在黑道世界的成長，就像任何工作一樣。

you wanna be the best at what you're doing.

你想成為最好的你在做什麼。

You know the mentality of us,

你知道我們的心態。

even though it's a bad life and a crazy life

雖說命途多舛

is to be respected and to make a lot of money.

是受人尊敬，賺大錢。

So as a kid, I was actually slow-walking

所以小時候，我其實是慢吞吞地走的

more than my friends.

比我的朋友更多。

My friends were a lot more dangerous than me.

我的朋友比我更危險。

Coming from Brooklyn, Queens, Jamaica Avenue,

來自布魯克林，皇后區，牙買加大道。

and a lot of my friends were already shooting,

而我的很多朋友已經在拍攝了。

killing, stabbing, and as the years went on

殺人、刺殺，隨著歲月的流逝。

I started to bypass them.

我開始繞過他們。

I started to get more vicious but also more intelligent.

我開始變得更加凶狠，但也更加聰明。

I was raised by guys like Fat Andy Ruggiano,

我是被胖子Andy Ruggiano這樣的人養大的。

who taught me to be quiet but also taught me to be vicious.

是誰教會了我安靜，卻也教會了我狠毒。

What you don't realize while you're in the street,

你在街上的時候不知道的事。

there's all kinds of tolls that you're gonna pay.

你要支付各種費用。

Emotional and physical.

情感和身體。

At about 19, I get stabbed up for the first time.

在19歲左右，我第一次被刺傷。

I get stabbed up two different occasions.

我在兩個不同的場合被刺傷。

I got about 120 stitches in my chest at one time.

我的胸口一次縫了120針左右。

I believe I got about 80-something in my head.

我相信我的腦子裡有八十幾條。

I was stabbed in the head.

我的頭被刺傷了。

You start accepting the violence

你開始接受暴力

and you start accepting that you're playing roulette

你開始接受你在玩輪盤賭的事實

with your life, with not much regard of it.

與你的生活，沒有太多的考慮。

You think you're almost invincible.

你以為你幾乎是無敵的。

So I think some of the tolls is that,

所以我覺得有些收費是。

and then as you're doing the killing

然後在你殺人的時候

and the beatings and the hurting of other individuals,

以及毆打和傷害其他個人的行為。

I think you just take it in stride,

我覺得你只要大步向前走就可以了。

but somewhere down the line,

但在某個地方的線。

you're gonna pay the price mentally with it.

你會付出代價 精神與它。

It's gonna take effect.

它會生效的。

These murders and these shootings I did,

這些謀殺案和槍擊案是我乾的。

and prosecutors during these cases

檢察官在這些案件中的表現

talked about how I just nonchalantly went

談到我如何只是不客氣地去了

to go eat afterwards, or I went to the beach.

之後去吃飯，或者我去了海邊。

I didn't really understand

我不太明白

what did they mean by it.

他們是什麼意思呢。

That's how detached you become.

這就是你變得多麼疏離的原因。

Not realizing they're trying to show

沒有意識到他們是想顯示

how callous you become in the life.

你在生活中變得多麼無情。

And I think that's my biggest reason

我想這是我最大的原因

why I'm so candid about it

鯁在喉

because I'm trying to teach kids

因為我想教孩子們

that there's so much suffering that goes on,

有這麼多的痛苦，繼續。

not just on victims, my victims,

不僅僅是受害者，我的受害者。

other victims, the families, my family

其他受害者、家屬、我的家人

and my personal fight with myself to control my rage.

和我個人與自己的鬥爭，以控制我的憤怒。

There's a mental toll on ya that I work on every day

我每天都在為你付出精神上的代價。

almost like an alcoholic would.

幾乎就像一個酒鬼會。

As you're gettin' more intelligent in the life

當你在生活中變得越來越聰明的時候

and you start growing up and maturing,

你就開始成長和成熟了。

as you're gettin' older and you're going through

當你剛開了'老了，你會通過。

some of the violence you did,

你所做的一些暴力。

you're starting to recognize there really isn't that loyalty

你開始認識到，真的沒有那種忠誠度

that you believed there is as a naive kid.

你相信有作為一個天真的孩子。

You start watching the treachery, the double dealing,

你開始觀察背叛，雙重交易。

people that are killing their best friends,

的人，正在殺害他們最好的朋友。

killing family members with no regard,

不顧一切地殺害家人；

and you start understanding that this is not about loyalty.

你就會開始明白，這不是忠誠的問題。

This is about money.

這就是錢的問題。

And what I believed in as a kid started changing

而我小時候的信仰也開始改變了

and the guys that I grew up with, that I really respected,

和我一起長大的人， 我真的很尊重。

they're gone and move far away from this life.

他們走了，遠走高飛，遠離今生。

Either lost their lives or murdered or in prison for life.

要麼丟了性命，要麼被謀殺，要麼終身監禁。

And I started to step back and really take a look

我開始後退一步，真正地看一看。

at what I'm involved in.

在我參與的。

And I started seeing the treachery when I went on the run.

而我在逃亡的時候，就開始看到了背叛。

And I got caught, and I was in Brazil.

我被抓了，我在巴西。

And while I was on the run and in Brazil penitentiaries,

當我在逃亡和巴西的監獄中時，

I watched two major crime families, the Bonanno family,

我看了兩個主要的犯罪家族，波納諾家族。

about 14 made guys, captain and bosses,

大約14個做的傢伙，隊長和老闆。

the whole hierarchy, started cooperating.

整個等級制度，開始合作。

And also my own family,

也是我自己的家人。

the Gambino family started cooperating.

甘比諾家族開始合作。

And these guys aren't the only ones cooperating.

而且這些人並不是唯一的合作對象。

These guys are all around the country,

這些人都是全國各地的。

bosses from every family, every state,

各家各州的老闆。

that have been cooperating.

一直在合作的。

And it kinda opened up my eyes.

還挺讓我大開眼界的。

How did I leave my kids like this?

我怎麼就這樣離開我的孩子呢？

Why would I sit in these penitentiaries in Brazil

我為什麼要坐在巴西的這些監獄裡？

for years at a time, fighting for my life

長年累月，拼死拼活。

in those concentration camps,

在這些集中營中。

when I spent two and a half years in those penitentiaries.

當我在這些監獄裡呆了兩年半的時候。

And just keep getting news after news

而只是不斷地得到一個又一個的消息

of these captains, and all these family and bosses,

的這些隊長，以及所有這些家族和老闆。

and all these families cooperating.

和所有這些家庭合作。

And then finally when I came back to the United States,

最後當我回到美國後。

I decided to throw the towel in and change my life.

我決定把毛巾扔進去，改變自己的生活。

Ever since then I never turned back.

從此，我再也沒有回頭。

I try to be as honest as possible,

我儘量做到誠實。

to help the kids not follow the path

幫助孩子們不走彎路

that I actually grew up and believed in

我真的長大了，相信

and thought I would die following.

並以為自己會跟著死去。

I left four children behind like a jackass,

我像個傻瓜一樣丟下四個孩子。

believing in the loyalty of that life.

相信那生命的忠誠。

Now, I have the Johnny & Gene Show.

現在，我有了約翰尼和吉恩秀。

It's a podcast, and what I'm trying to do

這是個播客，我想做的是：

is reach kids that had been in trouble

是接觸到的孩子們，一直在麻煩

or parents that don't know what to do

或不知所措的父母。

when kids are in trouble.

當孩子們陷入困境時。

I'm trying to reach those kids

我在努力接觸那些孩子

before they get in trouble.

在他們陷入困境之前。

And for those kids that been first time offenders

而對於那些孩子們來說，是第一次犯罪

will have Second Chance Program.

將有第二次機會方案。

It's not a life that's conducive to having a good life

這樣的生活不利於過上好日子

and I try to convey this to the kids

我試圖把這一點傳達給孩子們

by saying to them, "Listen, I promise you,

對他們說："聽著，我答應你。

I'm the real guy and I survived it,

我是真正的男人，我活了下來。

and I think there's a reason and a purpose

我想這是有原因和目的的。

why I survived it."

我為什麼能活下來。"

So I could save some kids' lives

這樣我就可以拯救一些孩子的生命

and the nonsense belief that this life is built on loyalty.

以及無稽之談的認為此生是建立在忠誠的基礎上。

It's the farthest thing from the truth.

這是最遠離事實的東西。

It's about money only, and it's self-preservation

這只是為了錢，是為了自保

and that's really the truth about the American Mafia.

這就是美國黑手黨的真實情況。

(soft ominous music)

（柔和的不祥音樂）