My name is Maggie Goldenberger

我叫Maggie Goldenberger

but you may know me as the Ermahgerd Girl.

但你可能知道我是 "厄瑪赫德女孩"。

Just as a warning, the end of the story gets pretty weird.

只是作為一個警告，故事的結尾會變得非常奇怪。

So this all started in 1999.

所以這一切都始於1999年。

I'm in middle school, playing sports, I got my friends.

我上國中了，玩體育，我有我的朋友。

"Goosebumps" had come out a few years ago. I enjoyed them.

"雞皮疙瘩 "幾年前就已經出來了。我很喜歡它們。

I wasn't particularly a fanatic

我不是一個特別狂熱的人

but my mom remembers it very differently

但我媽卻記得很不一樣

than I apparently was obsessed with "Goosebumps."

比我顯然是迷戀 "雞皮疙瘩"。

After school, my best best friend Kaitlin and I

放學後，我和我最好的閨蜜凱特琳... ...

would hang out.

會掛出。

Kaitlin had just gotten a Polaroid camera

凱特琳剛買了一臺寶麗來相機。

that actually printed the pictures right there.

其實打印的圖片就在那裡。

So we were a little obsessed with that

所以我們對這個有點痴迷

and would take all sorts of photos all the time.

並會一直拍攝各種照片。

And we would get dressed up. We had a dress up box.

我們會穿上衣服。我們有一個裝扮箱。

One night, we were taking pictures

有一天晚上，我們在拍照

and I was trying to look as ridiculous

我想讓自己看起來很可笑

and as nerdy as possible.

並且儘可能的呆板。

We got the "Goosebumps" books out,

我們把 "雞皮疙瘩 "的書拿出來了。

we grabbed her old backpack from first grade,

我們搶了她一年級時的舊揹包。

a vest her mom found at Goodwill,

一件她媽媽在Goodwill找到的背心。

took my hair and put them in pigtails.

把我的頭髮紮成小辮子。

I had a retainer that I usually wore at night.

我有一個保持器，我通常在晚上戴著。

We got it out, I threw it in and just started making faces.

我們把它拿出來，我把它扔進去，就開始做鬼臉。

So Kaitlin took the picture.

所以凱特琳拍了照片。

We waited five minutes or so for it to develop.

我們等了五分鐘左右才發展起來。

Once it was there it was really funny,

一旦到了那裡，真的很有趣。

we thought it was great and she kept it

我們認為這是偉大的，她保持它

for years and years and years.

年年歲歲，歲歲年年。

Fast forward to 2012, I am backpacking in India

快進到2012年，我在印度揹包旅行。

with my current girlfriend at the time.

和我當時的現任女友。

And we only have internet access about once a week.

而我們每週只能上一次網。

We'd go to internet cafe.

我們會去網咖。

And I started getting messages from my mom

然後我開始收到我媽媽的資訊

wondering why my photo was all over the internet

不知道為什麼我的照片會在網上流傳

and that there was some kind of German writing

並且有某種德國文字

on my photo and it was all over.

在我的照片上，這一切都結束了。

And I was like okay, mom.

我當時想好了，媽媽。

I know she does not know how the internet works.

我知道她不知道互聯網是怎麼運作的。

So I just ignore her.

所以我就不理她了。

But then then I get a message

但後來我收到一條資訊

from a friend from high school

高中同學

and she says, "Hey, just so you know,

她說，"嘿，只是讓你知道，

this other guy we went to high school with

這其他的傢伙，我們去高中的學校

is sharing that photo of you all over Facebook."

正在Facebook上分享你的那張照片。"

And I did end up messaging him like

而我最終還是給他發了資訊，比如

hey, I wouldn't mind if you just asked

嘿，我不會介意，如果你只是問

but it's really strange you're just doing this

但你這樣做真的很奇怪。

without my consent.

未經我同意。

Like what's going on?

比如說，這是怎麼回事？

And he's like, he had no idea it was me.

他說，他不知道那是我。

He said he found it from a comedy website.

他說他是從一個喜劇網站上找到的。

So then I realized there's some legitimacy

所以後來我意識到，有一些合法性

to what my mom's saying.

我媽媽說的。

So now I really want to know what was going on.

所以現在我真的很想知道是怎麼回事。

Who would put my photo on the internet?

誰會把我的照片放到網上？

Why is it spreading like wildfire?

為什麼會像野火一樣蔓延？

So when I get back to the US I was seeing it everywhere.

所以當我回到美國的時候，到處都能看到它。

Every social media site, news outlet,

每個社交媒體網站、新聞媒體。

t-shirts with my face on them, mugs,

有我的臉的T恤衫，馬克杯。

countless people were dressed as me for Halloween that year.

那一年的萬聖節，無數人都打扮成我的樣子。

The guys from Nerdist made a music video

Nerdist的傢伙們做了一個音樂視頻。

with the girl from Paramore and I am just watching it

和帕拉莫爾的女孩，我只是看它

wondering what on earth is going on.

想知道到底發生了什麼。

So all of this is happening.

所以這一切都在發生。

I have all these messages asking me

我有所有這些消息問我

what I'm gonna do about it,

我打算怎麼做。

how I'm gonna make money off of it.

我怎麼會賺到錢的。

People I need to sue.

我需要起訴的人。

It was pretty overwhelming

這是很讓人受不了的

with all the information coming in all at once.

隨著所有資訊的一次次湧入。

All the while I'm still trying to figure out

而我還在努力想辦法

how this got uploaded because I asked all my friends,

這怎麼得到了上傳，因為我問我所有的朋友。

no one was copping up to it.

沒有一個人在應付它。

I feel like anyone that would do it

我覺得誰都會這麼做

would want to take some credit for it.

會想拿一些功勞。

So it wasn't until a Vanity Fair article

是以，直到《名利場》的一篇文章

did some serious research and found out

做了一些認真的研究，發現

it was from a photo my friend had uploaded on her MySpace

它是從我的朋友上傳的照片 在她的MySpace上

and it was a public domain, this photo bucket.

而且是公共領域，這個照片鬥。

And some stranger, a 16 year old from Canada,

還有一些陌生人，一個來自加拿大的16歲少年。

just saw it one day, thought it was hilarious,

有一天剛看到，覺得很搞笑。

and uploaded it to Reddit with the caption of

並將其上傳到Reddit，標題為

"Just a girl and her books."

"只是一個女孩和她的書。"

And then another user put on it,

然後另一個用戶把它。

"Gersberms, my favorite books"

"格桑花，我最喜歡的書"

like with that retainer accent.

就像用那個固定器的口音。

And then from there, another user

然後從那裡，另一個用戶

put the tagline of "Ermangerd."

把 "Ermangerd "的標語。

And that is finally when the whole meme came together.

而這時，整個回憶錄終於出現了。

I felt mostly okay with the sharing

我覺得分享的內容基本沒問題

and the fun of it spreading some kind of

和它的樂趣，傳播某種。

a little bit of joy, but the invasion of privacy

竊喜，但侵犯了隱私

and the nonconsensual selling my face,

和不合意的賣我的面子。

it felt like a real violation.

這感覺就像一個真正的侵犯。

I didn't feel personally attacked

我不覺得自己被攻擊了

because I was being a character

因為我是個人物

but there is still that underlying feeling

但還是有那種感覺

like why do adults think it's so funny

就像為什麼成年人認為它是如此有趣的

to make fun of a young girl that's excited about books?

取笑一個對書感興趣的小女孩？

We want to encourage kids to be reading

我們要鼓勵孩子們讀書

as many books that they can get ahold of.

儘可能多的書，他們可以得到的控制。

One thing that made me really uncomfortable

有一件事讓我很不舒服。

was I had a friend of my brothers,

是我有一個朋友的兄弟。

he wanted to prove I was the girl in the meme

他想證明我是那個備忘錄裡的女孩。

so he started revealing personal details about my life

於是他開始透露我的生活細節。

to an internet community and sharing a photo of me

到網絡社區，並分享我的照片

in a bikini.

在比基尼。

So I was out at the time, but my girlfriend was not,

所以當時我是出來了，但是我女朋友沒有出來。

she had a very conservative family

她有一個非常保守的家庭

and wasn't necessarily out to most of them.

並不一定是對大多數人出手。

And so what he was doing to prove it was me,

所以他所做的一切，都是為了證明是我。

like basically outing her and outing our relationship.

就像基本上出了她，出了我們的關係。

He just opened me up to that whole community of trolls

他讓我認識了整個巨魔社區

and it was a total violation of privacy.

而這完全是對隱私的侵犯。

Okay, so this is the weird part.

好吧，所以這是奇怪的部分。

So because I'm a meme I would get different invites

所以，因為我是一個Meme，我將得到不同的邀請。

to do appearances and things like that,

做出場之類的事情。

that I kind of grazed over.

我有點擦肩而過。

And then one came my way that asked if I wanted to attend

然後有一個人來問我要不要參加。

a meme themed jungle furry party in the Bay area.

灣區的一個以記憶為主題的叢林毛茸茸派對。

I sent a screenshot to a couple of my friends

我給我的幾個朋友發了一張截圖。

and I said, hey, the offers keep rolling in.

我說，嘿，報價一直在滾動。

Everyone thought it was pretty funny

大家都覺得挺好玩的

but one of my friends was in San Jose

但我的一個朋友在聖何塞

and she was like, "Oh my gosh, we have to go."

她很喜歡，"哦，我的天哪， 我們必須去。"

So we drive to San Francisco and we come up to

所以，我們開車去舊金山，我們來到了。

this beautiful house on top of this hill.

這個美麗的房子在這個山頂上。

And something about it just feels a little spooky to me,

而且有些東西讓我覺得有點詭異。

but we just go with it.

但我們只是去與它。

So we go into the house and we meet this chef

所以我們進了房子，我們遇到了這個大廚

and he's telling us we're about to have a six course meal.

他告訴我們，我們將有一個六道菜的餐點。

And it's going to be infused with something

它將被注入一些東西

that I can't say in this video.

我不能說在這個視頻。

And as I sit down, I realized across from me

當我坐下來的時候，我意識到在我的對面

is the double rainbow guy.

是雙彩虹的傢伙。

And then we proceed to have the best meal of my life.

然後我們繼續吃我一生中最棒的一餐。

Well during dinner, people were wearing their ears

吃飯的時候，大家都戴著耳朵。

as their designated characters

作為其指定的字元

but it was after the meal when things got really furry.

但在飯後，事情才真正變得毛躁起來。

So we're having drinks after dinner

所以我們飯後要喝酒

and more and more people are showing up in their full fur

越來越多的人穿著整齊的皮草出現在這裡。

and I'm talking to double rainbow guy

而我在跟雙彩虹的傢伙說話呢

and he is one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

他是我見過的最可愛的人之一。

And he's just like he is, like just genuine in his video.

而他就像他一樣，就像他的視頻裡的真誠。

So all of a sudden I found myself alone on the couch.

所以突然間我發現自己一個人在沙發上。

And next thing I know I have a cat coming up to me

接下來我就知道有隻貓向我走來了。

and starts purring and rubbing against my legs.

並開始在我的腿上呼嚕呼嚕地摩擦。

And by cat, I mean a human being in a cat costume.

我說的貓，是指穿著貓裝的人。

And I'm like, oh, okay, this is part of it.

我想，哦，好吧，這是其中的一部分。

I started petting it. Oh, okay, great.

我開始撫摸它。哦，好吧，太好了。

And then it just wouldn't end.

然後就不了了之了。

I didn't have a safe word. I didn't know what to do.

我沒有一個安全的詞。我不知道該怎麼做。

And I look over and my friend is just on top of this wolf

我看了看，我的朋友就在這隻狼的身上。

and whatever was in the dinner is starting to kick in

晚餐裡的東西也開始起作用了

and I know I need to get out of there.

我知道我需要離開那裡。

So I get up, I can't find my friend.

於是我站起來，我找不到我的朋友。

All of a sudden I feel this hand on my back

突然間，我感覺到背後有一隻手在我的背上

and I turn around and it's her.

我轉身一看，是她。

And she also needs to go and immediately at that moment.

而她也需要在那個時候，立即去和。

Nothing sinister happened. We just had enough and had to go.

沒有發生什麼邪惡的事情。我們只是受夠了，不得不走。

So we left and we had no regrets.

所以我們離開了，我們沒有遺憾。

I had conversations with some of the most interesting

我與一些最有趣的人進行了對話。

and nicest people I've ever met

和我見過的最好的人

and they were so warm and welcoming.

他們是如此的溫暖和熱情。

All in all, I have no regrets about the meme.

總而言之，我對這個備忘錄並不後悔。

To all the little kids out there who love to read,

獻給所有愛讀書的小朋友們。

keep it going.

繼續下去。

Reading is cool and do not let the internet

讀書很酷，不要讓網絡

tell you otherwise

否則

(mellow music)

(悠揚的音樂)