>> HI, HI GUYS.

>> 嗨，嗨，夥計們。

>> HOW ARE YOU?

>> 你怎麼樣？

>> OH, GOOD.

>> 哦，好的。

I'M GOOD.

我很好。

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

>> 謝謝你來這裡。

IT'S JOYOUS TO SEE YOU.

很高興見到你。

>> IT'S SO JOYOUS TO SEE YOU GUYS TOO.

>> 見到你們也很高興。

>> James: WE'RE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

>> 詹姆斯。我們很高興見到你。

BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS, IT WAS VERY, VERY EARLY

因為我最後一次見你，是在很早很早的時候

COVID, WASN'T IT.

科維德，是嗎？

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>>YEAH，YEAH。

>> James: WE WERE BOTH ON A WALK AT THE SORT OF TOP OF MY

>> 詹姆斯。我們都在散步 在我的頂部的地方。

ROAD.

路。

>> WHICH IS THE FIRST TRICKY PART OF THE STORY.

>> 這就是故事的第一個詭計。

LIKE WHEN HAVE WE EVER, EVER BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER ON A WALK

就像我們什麼時候在散步的時候撞到過對方一樣

SWRZ NO, NEVER.

SWRZ不，從來沒有。

>> BEFORE COVID I DON'T THINK I EVER TOOK A WALK.

>> 在科維德之前，我不認為我曾經散步。

>> James: NO, NO ONE DID.

>> 詹姆斯。不，沒有人這樣做。

BUT ALSO THERE WERE A FEW PEOPLE, BECAUSE IT WAS A HIKE AT

但也有一些人，因為它是一個徒步旅行，在

THE TOP OF THAT ROAD.

在那條路的頂端。

PEOPLE WERE WALKING AROUND GOING, WELL, I GUESS IN IS WHAT

人們走來走去，嗯，我想在是什麼。

WE DO NOW, JUST WALK AROUND.

我們現在做的，只是走了一圈。

>> WALK AND-- AND THEN THAT WAS RIGHT BEFORE THE MASKS, THE

>> 然後就在面具前走來走去，然後就在面具前走來走去，然後就在面具前走來走去。

SERIOUS THING, SO PEOPLE WERE SILL FREE STYLING IT.

嚴肅的事情，所以人們都是免費的造型。

AND ONCE YOU HAD TO WEAR THE MASK AND WALKING I'M LIKE I'M

一旦你不得不戴上面具，走在路上，我就像我一樣。

DONE WALKING, IT WAS LIKE TALK WITH SOMEBODY WHILE YOU ARE

走著走著，就像跟別人說話一樣，當你在

SPITTING ON YOURSELF, MY MASKS AL SMELL LIKE CANNABIS, EVERY

吐在自己身上，我的面具聞起來像甘蔗，每一個

TIME I PUT THEM ON.

時間我把它們。

OH, I FORGOT.

哦，我忘了。

THIS IS WHAT SOMEBODY IS DEALING WITH ALL THE TIME.

這就是有些人一直在處理的事情。

>> James: THAT SOUNDS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, CAN I

>> 詹姆斯。這聽起來絕對是美麗的，我可以。

BORROW SOME OF YOUR MASKS?

借用一些你的面具？

>> Reggie: ABSOLUTELY.

>> 雷吉：絕對是的。

>> James: JUST SO I CAN HAVE THAT SENSATION.

>> 詹姆斯。只是為了讓我能有這樣的感覺。

>> Reggie: OF COURSE SWRZ I WOULD LOVE THAT.

>> 雷吉：當然，SWRZ和會喜歡的。

>> REG, WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE, RIGHT, YOU CAN HEAR ME, RIGHT?

>> REG，我們在同一頁上，對吧，你能聽到我的聲音，對吧？

>> OH HELL YEAH.

>> 哦，是的。

>> THE SAME VIBE GOING FOR SURE.

>> 同樣的氛圍，肯定要去。

>> James: WELL, YOU ARE NATURALLY I THINK A VERY SOCIAL

>> 詹姆斯。我覺得你天生就是一個很有社會責任感的人。

PERSON, YOU LIKE HAVING PLANS, YOU LIKE GOING OUT.

人，你喜歡有計劃，你喜歡出去。

HOW IS YOUR SOCIAL LIFE AND YOUR DATING LIFE, HOW HAS IT CHANGED

你的社交生活和約會生活如何，有什麼變化？

DURING COVID.

在科維多期間：

>> WELL, I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN A REALLY LONG TIME.

>> 好吧，我已經很久沒有做愛了。

I MEAN SINCE COVID STARTED.

我的意思是，自從科維德開始。

>> James: SINCE MARCH.

>> 詹姆斯。自三月以來。

>> I THINK MARCH, I WENT SKIING LAST YEAR IN MARCH.

>> 我想是三月，我去年三月去滑雪了。

I WAS ON A SKI DATE WEEKEND AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME THAT I

我週末去滑雪約會，那是我最後一次去滑雪

EXPERIENCED PENETRATION OF ANY KIND.

經驗豐富的任何類型的網絡。

>> James: WOW.

>> 詹姆斯。WOW。

>> ACTUALLY I TAKE THATK BA, FASSAL PENETRATION I HAVE HAD A

>> 其實我採取的是那個K BA，快速的PENETRATION我已經有了。

LOT OF BECAUSE OF THE DING BUT THAT IS THE NO NOT THE SAME

很多的原因的晚餐，但這是沒有不一樣的。

THING, YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT THE SAME THING.

你知道這不是一回事。

>> James: NO, IT TURNS ME ON BUT IT DOESN'T GET ME THE WHOLE

>> 詹姆斯。不，它讓我興奮，但它沒有得到我的全部。

WAY THERE.

在那裡的方式。

>> IT IS LIKE HALF A STORY, WE ARE LIKE CAN WE LAND THE PLANE

>> 這就像一個故事的一半，我們就像我們可以降落的飛機。

AND FINISH THUP ON THE OTHER SIDE OR BACK BACK AROUND,

並在另一側或後方完成THUP。

SOMETHING.

一些事情。

>> James: SO DO YOU LOOK BACK ON THE SKI TRIP AND THINK OH, I

>> 詹姆斯。所以，你回頭看看滑雪之旅，覺得哦，我。

SHOULD HAVE PUT THAT IN A BIT MORE.

本該再多放一點的。

>> I SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE SEX THAT WEEKEND.

>> 我應該在那個週末多做幾次。

>> NO, I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT THAT WAY, I JUST THINK WHEN ARE

>> 不，我不這麼想，我只是想，什麼時候...

WE GOING TO GET TO A REGULAR PLACE AGAIN.

我們要去一個正規的地方了。

HAVE I DPON ON A COUPLE OF SOCIAL DISTANCING WALKING DATES

我有沒有參加過幾次遠足社交活動？

WHICH ARE EVEN CREEPIER THAN THEY SOUND.

其中，甚至比他們的聲音更令人毛骨悚然。

I DON'T WANT TO GO ON A WALK TO GETS TO KNOW SFNLT I WANT TO

我不想去散步，去認識SFNLT，我想要

HAVE A DRINK.

喝一杯。

SO I HAVE A NICE BACKYARD SO I CAN INVITE PEOPLE THERE.

所以我有一個漂亮的後院，所以我可以邀請人們去那裡。

BUT I HAVEN'T MET, I HAVE BEEN TEST THE WATERS A LITTLE BUT I

但我還沒有見過，我已經測試了一下水，但我。

HAVE TO MEET SOMEBODY, THE LAST GUY I THOUGHT SOMETHING COULD

必須要見一個人，最後一個我認為可以的人。

HAPPEN WITH SAID THAT HE DOESN'T THINK MASKS WORK.

他說他不認為面具有用

SO OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH SOMEBODY WHO SAYS I DON'T

所以很明顯，我不能和那些說我不喜歡的人做愛

THINK MASKS, WITHOUT, ONCE YOU SAY THAT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU

思考面具，沒有，一旦你這麼說，我就不在乎你是不是

CHANGE YOUR MIND, I CAN'T DO IT, IT'S TOO STUPID.

改變你的想法，我不能這樣做，這太愚蠢了。

>> IT COULD BE BRAD PITT AND WOULD YOU BE LIKE NO.

>> 它可能是布拉德皮特，你會不會像NO.

>> NO, I TOLD HIM KNOW SEVERAL TIMES, HE KNOWS HOW I FEEL.

>> 不，我告訴他知道好幾次了，他知道我的感受。

>> James: IS THAT TRUE?

>> 詹姆斯。是真的嗎？

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> NO, OF COURSE NOT.

>> 不，當然不是。

>> I LOVE THAT YOU BELIEVED IT.

>> 我喜歡你相信它。

>> James: I DID.

>> 詹姆斯。我做了。

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH ME, UH-HUH.

>> 我以為你和我在一起，嗯。

>> James: NO I BELIEVE THAT BRAD PITT.

>> 詹姆斯。不，我相信，布拉德皮特。

>> HI SEX WITH HIM TWICE BEFORE I GOT HERE TODAY.

>> 在我今天來這裡之前，和他做了兩次愛。

>> James: SURE, REALLY NOTHING SINCE MARCH.

>> 詹姆斯。當然，從三月開始就沒有了。

>> NO, THERE IS NOT A LOT HAPPENING, YOU KNOW, I MEAN I'M

>> 不，沒有很多事情發生，你知道，我的意思是我是

OPEN TO IT FOR SURE BUT I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, A LOT OF PEOPLE

當然，我認為很多人，很多人都可以接受

HAVE HOOKED UP.

有掛鉤了。

MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS HAVE GIRLFRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS, HEY,

我的侄子和侄女有女朋友和男朋友，嘿。

I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE A CROTCH ETY OLD AUNT BUT LIKE

我不想聽起來像一個 CROTCH ETY的老阿姨，但喜歡。

WHEN AM I GOING TO GET MINE, WATCHING YOUR 21 YEAR OLD NIECE

我什麼時候才能得到我的，看著你21歲的小妮子。

HOOKUP WITH A BLOI FRIEND AND TRYING TO BE HAPPY FOR HER, I

勾搭與BLOI朋友，並試圖為她幸福，我。

WANT TO HAVE SEX TOO.

也想做愛。

YOU KNOW, IT'S LITTLE PATHETIC.

你知道的，這是一個小病態。

SO BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE HOOKING UP DURING COVID AND

所以，但很多人都是在科維德和期間勾搭。

HALLELUJAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, I AM HAPPY FOR PEOPLE, I'M

哈利路亞，你知道我的意思，我為人們感到高興，我...

GLAD IT IS WORKING OUT.

很高興它是工作了。

WE ALL NEED WHATEVER COMFORT WE CAN GET THESE DAYS.

這些天我們都需要儘可能的安慰。

>> SURE, YOU HAVE BEEN SEEKING KART IN QUITE INTERESTING WAYS

>> 當然，你一直在尋找卡丁車的有趣方式。

BECAUSE IS THIS WHY, YOU RECENTLY WENT ON A SILENT

因為這就是為什麼，你最近默默地走了。

RETREAT IN MY SPECIAL I TELL A STORY ABOUT BEING DRAGGED TO A

在我的特別節目中，我講述了一個關於被拉去的故事。

SILENT RETREAT BECAUSE IT'S ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS, YOU ARE NOT

因為這是我最害怕的事情之一，你並不是

FROM HERE SO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THE CITY CAN BE, RIGHT.

從這裡開始，你就知道這個城市有多蠢了，對吧。

>> SO I'M FROM NEW JERSEY, SO WE DON'T TALK LIKE THIS IN NEW

>> 所以我來自新澤西州，所以我們在新澤西州不這樣說話。

JERSEY, PEOPLE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT MANIFEST TAITION AND

傑西州，人們沒有談論過顯性條件和。

GRATITUDE AND KALE 24 HOURS A DAY, YOU KNOW.

感恩和甘藍一天24小時，你知道的。

>> James: YOU'RE RIGHT, YEAH, SOMEONE OPENED A CAFE GRATITUDE.

>> 詹姆斯。你是對的，是的，有人開了一家咖啡館感謝。

IT WOULD NOT LAST TWO WEEKS WITHIN OFF THE TURN PIKE, IT

它不會持續兩個星期，在轉彎處，它。

WOULD BE A HOT MESS.

會是一個熱的混亂。

SO YOU KNOW, I'M NOT INTO THAT EITHER.

所以你知道，我也不喜歡這樣。

BUT AND I'M NOT INTO GOING TO A-- BUT MY FRIEND FROM NEW

但是，我不打算去A -- 但是，我的朋友從新的

JERSEY, NEW WERSY IS HOW YOU SAY IT IF SPAIRN, FROM MY HIGH

傑西，新華西是你怎麼說的，如果西班牙人，從我的高。

SCHOOL, WE WANT TO A SILENT RETREAT ONLY BECAUSE AFTER

學校，我們想一個沉默的度假，只因為後

SPENDING TWO DAYS WITH HER, IN THAT NEW JERSEY ACCENT I WAS

和她一起度過了兩天，在那紐約口音中，我是。

OPENING TO GO TO THE SILENT RETREAT.

打開去默默的度假。

>> James: OKAY.

>> 詹姆斯。好的。

>> SO I DID GO BUT I DIDN'T PARTICIPATE IN THE WAY, THEY HAD

>> 所以，我去了，但我沒有參與的方式，他們有。

>> James: DON'T EVEN START TO WITH A SOUND BATH.

>> 詹姆斯。甚至不要開始用聲音洗澡。

>> HAVE YOU BEEN.

>> 你去過嗎？

>> James: I MEAN THIS COMPLETELY WITH ABSOLUTE

>> 詹姆斯。我的意思是，這完全與完全

SINCERITY A SOUND BATH CAN [BLEEP].

倩女幽魂一個聲浴能[嗶]。

I-- I-- I HATED IT.

我 - -我討厭它。

MY WIFE GOT ME A SOUND BATH FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND THEN I REALIZED

我的妻子在我生日的時候給我做了一個音響浴，然後我就意識到了。

THEY WERE ETS ISING UP TWO BEDS AND I WENT OH, YOU GOT YOURSELF

他們在整理兩張床，我就說，哦，你自找的。

A SOUND BATH AND I'M DOING SOMETHING I DON'T WANT TO DO I

我在做一些我不想做的事，我在做一個聲音浴室

WAS WATCHING ALMOST FAMILIAR NEWS BED WHEN SHE SURPRISE

正在看最熟悉的新聞床，當她驚喜地

IMMEDIATE WITH IT I WAS NEVER MORE ANG REERKS I WAS LIVID,

立即與它我從來沒有更多的ANG REERKS我是活潑的。

SOME DUDE IS GOING-- WITH LIKE BOWLS, I GOT SO ANNOYED I STOOD

有個傢伙要去... ... 與像碗，我太生氣了，我站了起來。

UP COMPLETELY NAKED AND WENT SORRY, BUDDY.

完全赤裸裸的起來，去了對不起，哥們。

AND I WENT BACK.

然後我就回去了

AND I MISSED THE TINY DANCER SCENE IN ALMOST FAMOUS.

我還錯過了《聲名狼藉》裡的小舞者場景。

>> FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A SOUND BATH WAS.

>> 首先，我甚至不知道什麼是聲音浴室。

>> James: NOR DID I.

>> 詹姆斯。我也沒有。

>> AND I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THAT, I THOUGHT IT WAS A BUNCH

>> 我不希望任何部分的，我認為這是一個大包。

OF DJ'S WAS GOING TO RINSE US OFFER, LET'S GO UP TO THE WOODS

DJ's要給我們開出的條件，讓我們去森林裡吧。

AND I GET THERE AND THERE IS ROOM TEMPERATURE WATER AND KALE

我到了那裡，那裡有室溫水和甘藍。

CHIPS AND A DRUM CIRCLE AND I'M LIKE I DON'T THINK SCO.

芯片和鼓圈，我想我不認為SCO。

I AM NOT PARTICIPATING IN THIS KIND OF CHICANERY.

我不參與這種中國式的工作。

>> James: I WOULD SETTLE FOR A REGULAR BATH.

>> 詹姆斯。我願意為一個正常的洗澡。

>> I WOULD SETTLE FOR DRUGS.

>> 我願意為毒品而妥協。

>> James: FOR SURE.

>> 詹姆斯。當然。

>> THAT IS WHAT I WOULD PREFER TO DO WITH MY FREE TIME, AND IF

>> 這就是我喜歡用我的空閒時間做的事情，如果... ...

I'M GOING TO A REFREET LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED.

我要去REREET，讓我們開始派對吧。

I'M OPENING TO DO WHATEVER HALL US NO AGAINS WHAT WHAT EVERYBODY

我敞開心扉做任何事情，我們都不會再去做了，什麼什麼人

ANYBODY HAS, THAT IS WHAT A TRE TREAT IT FOR IS TO MEDITATE ON

任何人都有，這就是治療它的目的是冥想。

WHATEVER YOU HAVING TO DEAL WITHK AND REFLECT AND

無論你要面對什麼，香港和反思和

HALLUCINATE.

HALLUCINATE：

>> James: YOU HAVE DONE, THIS THE YOU HAVE DONE THE-- THE

>> 詹姆斯。你做了，這就是你做的... ...

IOACTA.

IOACTA：

>> ST NOT, THAT IS NOW HOW YOU SAY T IT IS I OW ACTA.

>> 不要，這就是你現在所說的 "它是我的行動"。

>> James: LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF.

>> 詹姆斯。讓我們結束這一切。

LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW STANDUP SPECIAL, CHELSEA HANDLER

讓我們來談談你的新的特等生，切爾西的掌門人。

EVOLUTION, NOW A FEW YEARS AGO I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE DONE

進化，現在幾年前，我很高興你做到了。

THIS SPECIAL.

這種特殊。

BECAUSE A FEW YEARS AGO YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE WITHSTANDUP.

因為幾年前你說過你已經不需要站立了。

WHAT CHANGED?

什麼改變了？

WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?

這是從哪裡來的？

WHAT MADE YOU THINK NO, I HAVE TO SHOW, I HAVE SOMETHING TO

是什麼讓你覺得不，我必須要展示，我有東西要展示？

SAY.

說：

>> I DIDN'T THINK I HAD ANYTHING TO ADD TO THE STANDUP AT THAT

>> 我不認為我有什麼東西要補充的立場在那

TIME.

時間。

AND I WENT ON MY BOOK TOUR AFTER MY MOST RECENT BOOK AND I WAS

在我最近的一本書之後，我去了我的書展，而我是

HAVING-- BEING ON STAGE BEING INTERVIEWED BY PEOPLE AND

有 - 在舞臺上 被採訪的人，並。

TELLING MY STORY ABOUT STHRPEE WHICH IS HUMILIATING.

講述我關於STHRPEE的故事，這是個令人振奮的故事。

AND SELF-DEPRECATING AND HORRIFYING IN ALL THE WAYS I

和自我貶低和可怕的所有方式，我

LIKE TO SHAIMPLET I LIKE TO SHOW YOU MY DIRTY LAUNDRY.

喜歡SHAIMPLET我喜歡給你看我的髒衣服。

AND SO I WAS, AS I WAS DOING THE TOUR I THOUGHT IF I COULD MAKE

所以，我在做巡迴演出的時候，我想如果我可以做出

THIS INTO A STANDUP SHOW, IF I COULD ACHIEVE THE MOMENT FROM

這成了一個STANDUP SHOW，如果我能實現的時刻，從。

THAT MOVIE, I KNOW WILL YOU KNOW THIS, STEEL MAGNOLIAS WHERE

那部電影，我知道你會知道這一點，鋼磁石在哪裡？

JULIA ROBERTS CHARACTER DIES AND SALLY FIELD IS LIKE, I JUST WANT

朱莉婭-羅伯茨角色死亡和薩利-菲爾德是喜歡，我只是想。

TO HIT SOMEBODY.

要打人。

I JUST WANT TO HIT SOMEBODY.

我只是想打人。

AND OLIVIA O LIMP MEA SAYS HERE, HIT WHEEZA, HIT HER, YOU

和奧利維亞O LIMP MEA說，在這裡，打惠澤，打她，你。

KNOW, THAT GREAT MOMENT OF EMOTIONALITY, WHERE IT JUST GOES

知道嗎，那偉大的時刻 感情，在那裡它只是去了。

FROM HYSTERICALLY CRYING TO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER, I WANTED TO

從歇斯底里的哭到歇斯底里的笑，我想去

CAPTURE THAT WITHIN THE FORUM OF STANDUP.

捕捉到了這一點，在站立的論壇中。

AND ONCE I SAW HANNA GATSBY DO T I WAS LIKE I'VE GOT MY STORY TO

當我看到HANNA GATSBY這樣做的時候，我就覺得我已經有了自己的故事。

DO THAT.

做到這一點。

AND I WANTED TO DO IT AND I WANTED TO DO IT DEURKS COVID

我想這樣做，我想這樣做 DEURKS COVID。

BECAUSE I WANTED TO BRING SOME RELIEF AND JOY AND HUMAN I HAD

因為我想給自己帶來一些解脫、快樂和人性的東西

DURING THIS REALLY KIND OF DARK BUMMER TIME WE ARE ALL DEALING

在這個真正的黑暗的寒冬時期，我們都在處理。

WITH, MORE THAN A BUMMER.

與，多的是一波三折。

>> THAT IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT, THAT IT IS SHOT NOW, IT IS IN

>> 這就是我喜歡它的原因，它是現在拍攝的，它是在。

THIS NOW, SO THE UD YENS-- AUDIENCE ARE THERE,

現在，所以UD YENS -- 觀眾都在那裡。

WATCHING, IT IS INCREDIBLY SAFE, ARE YOU OUTDOORS, THE BACK DROP

觀察，它是非常安全的，你是在戶外，背影。

LOOKS INCREDIBLE.

看起來不可思議。

BUT YOU ARE RIGHT THERE, TALKING ABOUT IT, NOW I'M SO HAPPY YOU

但你就在那裡，談論它，現在我很高興你。

DID T I THINK IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

我認為是絕對精彩的。