I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I RARELY SAY THIS, AND I NEVER MEAN IT,

女士們，先生們，我很少這樣說，我也從來沒有想過。

BUT WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS.

但我們有重大新聞。

JUST MOMENTS BEFORE I WALKED INTO THE STUDIO I'M IN RIGHT

就在我走進我所在的工作室前的幾個小時裡

NOW, I LEARNED SOMETHING SHOCKING.

現在，我學到了一些令人震驚的東西。

TWO YEARS AGO-- YOU MAY REMEMBER,

兩年前... 你可能還記得。

THE NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHED AN OP-ED CALLED "I AM PART OF THE

紐約時報》發表了一篇名為《我是其中的一部分》的評論文章。

RESISTANCE: INSIDE THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION" BY SOMEBODY

抗議：特朗普政府內部 "由一些人組成的

KNOWN ONLY AS "ANONYMOUS."

只知道是 "匿名的"。

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GUESSING WHO THIS EVER SINCE IT WAS RELEASED.

人們一直在猜測這是誰自從它被釋放。

WELL, THIS AFTERNOON ANONYMOUS WAS REVEALED AND IT'S MILES

好了，今天晚上AnonyMOUS被揭露了，它的英里

TELLER.

TELLER：

STAR OF "WHIPLASH," THE BELOVED "FANTASTIC FOUR" SERIES, AND THE

"WHIPLASH "的明星，深受歡迎的 "FANTASTIC FOUR "系列，以及 "FANTASTIC FOUR "的明星。

UPCOMING "TOP GUN" REBOOT.

UPCOMING "TOP GUN "REBOOT。

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MILES TELLER GOT SUCH INTIMATE DETAILS OF

我不知道幾千人的電報員是怎麼得到這麼詳細的資料的

CLASSIFIED INFORMATION-- MAYBE TOM CRUISE TOLD HIM-- BUT THE

分類資訊... 也許是湯姆-克魯斯告訴他的... ...

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS GOT TO BE REELING RIGHT NOW FROM--

特朗普政府現在一定是繅絲的... ...。

I'M SORRY, WHAT?

對不起，什麼？

AND I'M BEING TOLD IT'S NOT MILES TELLER.

我被告知這不是MILES TELLER。

THEN WHO IS IT?

那麼是誰呢？

MILES TAYLOR?

MILES TAYLOR?

WHO'S THAT?

那是誰？

( LAUGHTER ) THE GUY FROM D.H.S. WHO LEFT

D.H.S.的那個傢伙離開了。

LIKE A YEAR AGO AND ALREADY ENDORSED JOE BIDEN?

就像一年前，已經支持了喬-比登？

WELL, THAT'S NOT NEWS.

好了，這不是新聞。

THAT'S RIDICULOUS-- CALL ME WHEN MILES TELLER DOES

太可笑了... ...當MILES TELLER做的時候給我打電話。

SOMETHING.

一些事情。

THAT KID'S GOT HEAT.

那孩子有熱度。

SORRY.

對不起。

THIS IS WHY I NEVER SAY "BREAKING NEWS."

這就是為什麼我從來不說 "新聞"。

I OVER-REACTED, IN THAT I REACTED AT ALL.

我反應過度了，因為我根本就沒有反應。

THAT'S ON ME.

這是我。

I APOLOGIZE, LET'S GO ON.

我道歉，讓我們繼續。

WHERE WAS I?

我在哪裡？

COFFEE.

咖啡：

ONE SECOND.

一秒鐘。

( LAUGHTER ) RIGHT, OKAY, YEAH.

（笑）右，好吧，是的。

IT IS OCTOBER 28, THE FINAL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THE

現在是10月28日，是 "中國夢 "前的最後一個週三。

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, OR, DEPENDING ON WHO WINS, THE FINAL

總統選舉，或者說，視誰勝出而定，最後的選舉。

WEDNESDAY.

週三：

BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH, AND SO ARE THE VOTE

因為情緒高漲，選票也高漲。

TOTALS, BECAUSE WITH SIX DAYS STILL TO GO, THANKS TO EARLY

總數，因為還有六天的時間，因為早早就有了

VOTING, MORE THAN HALF THE TOTAL 2016 VOTE IS ALREADY IN.

投票，2016年投票總數的一半以上已經進入。

THAT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

這是非常令人印象深刻的。

BUT IF 2016 TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT'S THAT "MORE THAN HALF"

但如果2016年告訴我們什麼，那就是 "超過一半"。

SOMETIMES ISN'T ENOUGH.

有時是不夠的。

SO FAR, BIDEN IS OFF TO A GOOD START, IN PART BECAUSE 2020 HAS

到目前為止，BIDEN開了個好頭，部分原因是2020年有了

BEEN A RECORD-SHATTERING YEAR FOR EARLY VOTING AMONG YOUNG

今年是年輕人早期投票率創紀錄的一年。

PEOPLE.

人。

THAT IS DOPE TO THE WAP, MY TUBULAR YOUNGLINGS!

那是WAP上的興奮劑，我的小弟弟們！

( LAUGHTER ) THIS CAMPAIGN HAS GONE ON FOR AN

這場宣傳活動已經持續了一個多月。

ETERNITY.

永恆的。

AND 2020 IS PROJECTED TO BE MOST EXPENSIVE U.S. ELECTION EVER,

而2020年預計將是美國有史以來最耗費的選舉。

WITH SPENDING AS HIGH AS $14 BILLION.

支出高達140億美元。

AND THAT'S "BEFORE" YOU COUNT MONEY FOR BOOZE AND ZOOM

而這是在你為酒和讚美計算金錢之前的事

SESSIONS WITH MY PSYCHIC.

與我的心理醫生的會議：

WHO'S GOING TO WIN, ESMERELDA?

誰會贏, ESMERELDA?

MOST OF THE CAMPAIGN CASH HAS GONE TO TV ADS.

大部分的競選資金都用在了電視廣告上。

AND THANKS TO A NEW REPORT, WE'RE LEARNING SOME MORE ABOUT

由於一份新的報告，我們瞭解了更多關於... ...

WHAT TV SHOWS THE CANDIDATES ARE ADVERTISING ON.

什麼電視節目的候選人都在廣告上。

THERE'S A LOT OF SIMILARITIES.

有很多相似之處。

BOTH CAMPAIGNS ARE RUNNING A LOT OF ADS ON RERUNS OF "THE BIG

兩大陣營都在重播 "The BIG "中播放大量廣告。

BANG THEORY."

砰理論。"

THAT'S A LITTLE SURPRISING.

這有點讓人吃驚。

TRUMP'S NO FAN OF SCIENCE.

特朗普不喜歡科學。

BUT SO FAR NO ONE'S MADE "THE BIG BANG IS A CHINESE HOAX."

但到目前為止，沒有人提出 "大爆炸是中國的騙局"。

BUT THE CAMPAIGNS HAVE BEEN TARGETING SOME DIFFERENT

但是，這些廣告活動一直針對一些不同的人。

AUDIENCES.

聽眾：

FOR INSTANCE, TRUMP HAS PRIORITIZED RERUNS OF "THE ANDY

目前，特朗普已經優先重播《安迪》。

GRIFFITH SHOW," WHICH RAN FROM 1960 TO 1968.

格里菲思秀"，從1960年到1968年。

NOT TO BE OUTDONE, BIDEN STARTED ADVERTISING ON THE "TRAIN

不負眾望，BIDEN開始在 "火車 "上做廣告。

ENTERING THE STATION" CHANNEL.

進入車站 "頻道。

"I WAS ON THAT TRAIN.

"我在那列火車上，

GOT INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH ONE OF THE LUMIERE BROTHERS.

與LUMIERE兄弟之一發生了爭執。

RELEASE THE DIRECTOR'S CUT!

釋放導演的剪輯！

COME ON, JACQUES!" BUT THERE'S ONE SHOW THAT TRUMP

來吧，JACQUES！"但有一個節目，特朗普。

HAS PUT A LOT OF AD DOLLARS INTO THAT KIND OF SURPRISED ME.

他投入了大量的廣告費，讓我很吃驚。

BECAUSE TRUMP HAS AIRED ALMOST 1,200 COMMERCIALS ON "THE LATE

因為特朗普在 "晚間新聞 "上播出了1200多條廣告。

SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

與STEPHEN COLBERT一起演出。"

WOW.

WOW。

HAS HE SEEN HOW I TALK ABOUT HIM ON THIS SHOW?

他看到我在這個節目上如何談論他了嗎？

WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME TRUMP'S PAID SOMEONE

我想這不是特朗普第一次付錢給別人了

TO SPANK HIM.

要打他的屁股。

( "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ) >> THIS SLAM PAID FOR BY DONALD

("GROOVE IS IN THE HEART") >>這一巴掌由唐納德支付。

TRUMP SLAM!

特朗普抨擊！

>> Stephen: ON THE RALLY FRONT, TRUMP IS SPENDING HIS TIME

>> 史蒂芬：在集會前線，特朗普正在花費他的時間。

SHORING UP STATES HE WON IN 2016.

減持他在2016年贏得的州。

YESTERDAY, TRUMP WAS IN MICHIGAN, WHERE HE SAID

昨天，特朗普在密歇根州，在那裡，他說

SOMETHING A LITTLE ODD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT.

對於一個現任總統來說，有些事情有點奇怪。

>> I DON'T SOUND LIKE A POLITICIAN BECAUSE I'M NOT A

>> 我聽起來不像一個政治家，因為我不是一個

POLITICIAN.

政治家。

I NEVER WANTED TO BE A POLITICIAN.

我從來沒有想成為一個政治家。

>> Stephen: THAT SENTIMENT WAS OKAY FOUR YEARS AGO.

>> Stephen:四年前，這種感覺還不錯。

BUT NOW KNRUR THE POLITICIAN.

但現在知道了政治家。

THAT'S LIKE YOUR SURGEON LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO UNDER

就像你的外科醫生在你手術前看著你一樣。

AND SAYING, ( AS SURGEON )

並說，（作為外科醫生）。

"BY THE WAY, I DON'T SOUND LIKE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I'M NOT A

"順便說一句，我聽起來不像醫生，因為我不是醫生

DOCTOR.

醫生：

I NEVER WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR.

我從來沒有想過要當醫生。

POKEY STICK!" BUT THE CLIP FROM THIS RALLY

POKEY STICK！"但從這次集會的剪輯

THAT'S GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION IS THIS ATTEMPT TO

引起很多人注意的是這個企圖。

APPEAL TO SUBURBAN WOMEN: >> YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

向郊區婦女發出呼籲：>>你知道還有什麼嗎？

I'M ALSO GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS.

我也得到你的丈夫。

THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK, RIGHT?

他們想回去工作，對吧？

THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

他們想回去工作。

WE'RE GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS BACK TO WORK.

我們要讓你們的丈夫回到工作崗位上。

>> Stephen: THAT'S GREAT NEWS, LADIES.

>> 史蒂芬：這是個好消息，女士們。

DONALD TRUMP IS GOING TO GET YOUR HUSBANDS BACK TO WORK, SO

唐納德-特朗普要讓你的丈夫們重返工作崗位，所以。

YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR LADY-CHORES DONE, LIKE VOTING FOR JOE BIDEN.

你可以完成你所有的女性角色，比如投票給喬-比登。

TODAY, BEFORE DEPARTING FOR ARIZONA, TRUMP HELD A QUICK NEWS

今天，在出發前往亞利桑那州之前，特朗普召開了一個簡短的新聞發佈會。

CONFERENCE WHERE HE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE RECENT UNREST IN

被問及最近的動亂時的情況。

PHILADELPHIA.

PHILADELPHIA.

AND HE DESCRIBED THE SCENE IN A VERY DONALD TRUMP WAY.

他描述的場景 在一個非常唐納德・特朗普的方式。

>> PEOPLE ARE BREAKING INTO STORES AND WALKING OUT WITH

>> 人們闖入商店，並與走出去

WASHING MACHINES AND WALKING OUT WITH ALL SORTS OF THINGS, AND IT

洗滌機和走出去的所有種類的東西，和它

SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED.

不應允許。

>> Stephen: FOR THE RECORD, IT'S NOT ALLOWED.

>> Stephen:恕我直言，這是不允許的。

AND I'LL SAY THIS: LOOTING IS WRONG, BUT IF YOU CAN WALK OUT

我要說的是，搶劫是錯誤的，但如果你能走出去，

OF A STORE CARRYING A WASHING MACHINE, I THINNK YOU SHOULD BE

我覺得你應該是一個有洗衣機的商店。

ALLOWED TO KEEP IT, AND NOT JUST DURING RIOTS.

允許保留它，而不僅僅是在暴亂期間。

THAT SHOULD BE, LIKE, A BLANKET POLICY.

這應該是，像，一個空白的政策。

LIKE THOSE RESTAURANTS WHERE IF YOU CAN FINISH THE 72-OUNCE

像那些餐廳，如果你能完成72盎司的... ...

STEAK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

你不需要為它付出代價。

IF YOU LOOK AT THE RECENT COVID NEWS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PURELL

如果你看看最近的COVID新聞，你可能會想出售

YOUR EYEBALLS, BECAUSE IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS VIRUS IS GOING

你的眼睛，因為它很清楚，這種病毒是怎麼回事

EVERYWHERE FAST.

哪兒都快。

ESPECIALLY IN STATES THAT TRUMP DESPERATELY NEEDS, LIKE TEXAS.

尤其是在特朗普急需的州，比如德克薩斯州。

IN EL PASO, THE NUMBER OF ADMITTED COVID PATIENTS HAS MORE

在埃爾帕索，接受的科威德病人的數量增加了。

THAN TRIPLED OVER THE PAST THREE WEEKS, FORCING DOCTORS TO TREAT

在過去的三個星期裡翻了三倍，迫使醫生們治療

SOME PATIENTS IN A FIELD HOSPITAL IN A NEARBY PARKING

在附近停車場的一家野戰醫院的一些病人。

LOT.

很多。

THAT IS TERRIBLE.

這是可怕的。

THE ONLY THINGS THAT SHOULD HAPPEN IN A PARKING LOT ARE

在停車場裡唯一應該發生的事情是什麼？

PARKING, SELLING PUMPKINS, AND GETTING HIGH WITH A BONG YOU

泊車、賣泡菜、和你一起嗑瓜子。

MADE OUT OF A PUMPKIN.

瓜子做的。

HERE'S HOW BAD IT IS: WHILE IT TOOK OUR COUNTRY THREE MONTHS

這裡有多糟糕。雖然它花了我們國家三個月的時間。

FOR THE FIRST 500,000 CASES, THE U.S. IS NOW REPORTING 500,000

在最初的500,000個案例中，美國現在報告了500,000個案例。

NEW CASES JUST IN THE PAST WEEK.

過去一週的新案例。

CLEARLY, WE'RE A LONG WAY FROM ENDING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC.

很明顯，我們離結束COVID -19恐慌症還有很長的路要走。

ON THE OTHER HAND, YESTERDAY, A NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE

另一方面，昨天，白宮發佈了新的新聞公報。

ANNOUNCED THAT ONE OF TRUMP'S BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IS

宣佈特朗普最大的成就之一就是

ENDING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC.

結束了COVID-19大恐慌。

NOW, WHILE THAT IS CLEARLY INSANE, DECLARING VICTORY

現在，雖然這顯然是瘋狂的，但宣佈勝利。

PREMATURELY IS A PROUD REPUBLICAN TRADITION.

PREMATURELY是一個自豪的共和傳統。

AT THIS POINT, TRUMP'S NOT JUST NERO FIDDLING WHILE ROME BURNS,

此時此刻，特朗普不只是在羅馬燃燒的時候玩玩而已。

HE'S NERO SENDING OUT A PRESS RELEASE THAT SAYS, "YOU'RE NOT

他是NERO發出的新聞發佈會，說，"你不是"。

ON FIRE."

著火了。"

I'D SAY THIS IS DONALD TRUMP PEEING ON OUR LEG AND TELLING US

我想說，這是唐納德-特朗普在我們的腿上撒尿，並告訴我們。

IT'S RAINING, BUT HE USUALLY PAYS RUSSIAN PROSTITUTES TO DO

下雨了，但他總是付錢給俄羅斯妓女來做。

THAT.

那。

>> I'M DONALD J. TRUMP AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE.

>> 我是唐納德-J-特朗普，我同意這條消息。

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, SIR.

>> Stephen:謝謝你，先生。

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING CHECKS FROM DONALD TRUMP.

我不能相信我們正在得到支票 從唐納德・特朗普。

AND THEY CLEARED.

和他們清除。

THIS PRESS RELEASE FROM THE MOUTH OF MADNESS WAS CREATED BY

這篇來自 "瘋狂之口 "的新聞發佈稿是由

THE WHITE HOUSE'S "OFFICE OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY POLICY,"

白宮的 "科學與技術政策辦公室"

AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING JUST HOW "SCIENCE" THEY ARE, ONE OF THE

如果你想知道他們有多 "科學"，那麼其中的一個人就會告訴你。

OTHER MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS THEY TOUT IS, "UNDERSTANDING OUR

他們標榜的其他主要成就是，"瞭解我們的"。

PLANET."

PLANET。"

( AS TRUMP ) "LOOK, I GET THE PLANET BETTER

"看，我把地球弄得更好了

THAN ANYONE.

比任何人。

IT'S BLUE AND IT'S GREEN, HEAVEN IS UP, HELL IS DOWN, IT'S SHAPED

它是藍色的，它是綠色的，天堂在上，地獄在下，它是成形的。

LIKE A MEATBALL, AND THE WHOLE THING REVOLVES AROUND ME."

就像一個肉球，和整個事情 圍繞著我旋轉。"

BUT THERE ARE SOME QUOTES FROM LEADING ACADEMIC MINDS IN THIS

但是，這裡面有一些來自學術界領軍人物的名言。

DOCUMENT.

文件：

ONE SAYS, "PRESIDENT TRUMP'S POLICIES AND INVESTMENTS IN

一個人說，"特朗普總統的政策和投資在。

SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ENSURE AMERICA STANDS READY TO SOLVE

科學和技術確保美國隨時準備解決的問題

TODAY'S MOST PRESSING CHALLENGES"-- AN ENDORSEMENT

當今最緊迫的挑戰"--贊同書

THAT COMES FROM WORLD-RENOWNED SCIENTIST IVANKA TRUMP.

這來自世界著名的科學家伊萬卡-特朗普。

( LAUGHTER ) DON'T BELIEVE ME?

（笑）不相信我嗎？

HERE SHE IS IN A LAB A FEW YEARS BACK, DISTILLING PURE CRAP.

她幾年前就在實驗室裡 蒸餾純垃圾了

NO ONE IS BUYING IT.

沒有人買它。

EVEN AN OFFICIAL ON TRUMP'S OWN COVID TASK FORCE SAID, "IT'S

甚至連特朗普自己的保密工作小組的官員也說："這是一個很好的例子。

MIND-BOGGLING.

令人瞠目結舌。

THERE'S NO WORLD IN WHICH ANYONE CAN THINK THAT STATEMENT IS

世界上沒有人可以認為這句話是。

TRUE.

真。

MAYBE THE PRESIDENT.

也許主席。

BUT I DON'T SEE HOW EVEN HE CAN BELIEVE THAT."

但我不明白他怎麼會相信這些。"

IT'S EASY.

這很容易。

JUST CONSULT HIS CLOSEST MEDICAL ADVISER-- DEXAMETHASONE

只需諮詢他最接近的醫療顧問----------地塞米松

HALLUCINATIONS.

HALLUCINATIONS：

>> COVID'S GONE AWAY AND DONALD TRUMP HAS WASHBOARD ABS.

>> 科維德離開了，唐納德-特朗普有華盛頓特區。

>> Stephen: GET OUT OF HERE!

>> Stephen:離開這裡！

GET OUT OF HERE!

離開這裡！

LAST NIGHT THE L.A. DODGERS BEAT THE TAMPA BAY RAISES IN GAME SIX

昨晚洛杉磯道奇隊在第六場比賽中擊敗了坦帕灣隊。

TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES.

贏得世界系列賽。

CONGRATULATIONSING TO THE DODGERS, WHO HAVEN'T WON THE BIG

祝賀道奇隊，誰也沒有贏得大。

ONE SINCE THE 80s WHEN THEIR UNIFORM LOOKED LIKE THIS.

一個自從80年代，當他們的制服看起來像這樣。

BIT THERE IS ONE THING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S GAME, IT WAS

昨晚的比賽有一個特點，那就是... ...

INTERESTING.

有意思的。

DURING THE EIGHTH INNING, SYLVESTER TURNER WAS PULLED OUT

在第八局中，西爾維斯特-特納被踢出場外

WITH NOW EXPLANATION OPINION WAS HE INJURED?

有了現在的解釋意見，他受傷了嗎？

WAS HE TRADED?

他被交易了嗎？

WAS HE FINALLY SWALLOWED BY HIS OWN BEARD?

他終於被自己的鬍子吞噬了嗎？

NONE OF THE ABOVE.

以上都不是。

BECAUSE WE LATER LEARNED THAT TURNER TOOK THE FIELD WHILE

因為我們後來才知道，特納上場的時候

STILL AWAITING THE RESULTS OF "HIS TUESDAY MORNING COVID

仍在等待 "他的星期二早上的節目 "的結果。

TEST," BUT IT WAS ONLY LAST NIGHT THAT, "RIGHT AROUND THE

測試，"但直到昨晚，"就在附近的

BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, THE LAB RETURNED THE NEWS."

"第六日下戰書，實驗室傳回了新聞。"

"WHICH CONFIRMED A POSITIVE."

"這證實了一個積極的。"

NICE JOB, M.L.B. TESTING.

好工作，M. L. B. 測試。

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE ONLY THING SLOWER THAN BASEBALL.

你是官方唯一比棒球慢的東西。

OF COURSE, GIVEN THE DIAGNOSIS, TURNER DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING

當然，鑑於診斷結果，Turner做了負責任的事情。

AND HIT THE DUGOUT FOR A HUG SESH!

並在DUGOUT上大肆宣傳!

"YOU GET THE CORONAVIRUS!

"你得到的冠狀病毒！

AND YOU.

和你。

AND WHOSE WEATHER WATCHER ARE YOU?

你是誰的天氣預報員？

I DON'T CARE.

我不在乎。

AND THEN I KISS MY OWN WIFE.

然後我親吻我自己的妻子。

AND TAKE OFF THE MASK WITH ALL THE TEAMMATES!

和所有隊友一起脫掉面具！

WHOOO!

嗚！

DON'T INFECT EACH OTHER, FELLAS.

不要感染對方，FELLAS。

YOU ARE THE CHAMPS.

你們是冠軍。

YOU GET TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

你可以去白宮。

THIS IS THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR BY AN ATHLETE SINCE

這是最不負責任的行為由一個運動員自。

LeBRON JAMES'S PRE-GAME ANTHRAX TOSS.

勒布朗-詹姆斯的賽前蟻力球。

OF COURSE, EVERYONE IS SUFFERING UNDER THIS PANDEMIC.

當然，每個人都在遭受下這個PANDEMIC。

WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.

好吧，幾乎每個人。

BECAUSE YESTERDAY THE INTERNET BLEW UP AFTER DISCOVERING THAT

因為昨天發現這個消息後，互聯網上炸開了鍋。

KIM KARDASHIAN WEST THREW A PARTY FOR HERSELF AND DOZENS OF

金-卡戴珊-韋斯特為自己和幾十個人舉辦了一個派對。

FRIENDS ON A PRIVATE ISLAND.

私人島嶼上的朋友們。

ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD WANT TO KEEP THAT UNDER WRAPS...

任何有理智的人都會想把它藏起來... ...

WHICH IS WHY KIM KARDASHIAN POSTED IT ALL ON TWITTER, SAYING

這就是為什麼金-卡戴珊在Twitter上發佈了這一切，說

"AFTER TWO WEEKS OF MULTIPLE HEALTH SCREENS AND ASKING

"經過兩個星期的多重健康檢查和詢問

EVERYONE TO QUARANTINE, I SURPRISED MY CLOSEST INNER

每個人都到夸父，我驚訝我最親近的內線。

CIRCLE WITH A TRIP TO A PRIVATE ISLAND WHERE WE COULD PRETEND

圈子裡有一個私人島嶼的旅行，在那裡我們可以假裝。

THINGS WERE NORMAL JUST FOR A BRIEF MOMENT IN TIME."

"一切都很正常，只是在短暫的時間裡。"

AND YOU THINK THAT'S NORMAL?

你覺得這很正常嗎？

"YEAH, ME AND MY OTHER REALITY SHOW STAR SIBLINGS TOOK A

"是的，我和我的其他真人秀明星兄弟姐妹們採取了一個。

PRIVATE JET TO A SECRET ISLAND FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

私家飛機到一個祕密的島嶼過幾個星期。

IT'S JUST NICE TO GET BACK INTO A ROUTINE, YOU KNOW?"

"回到規律中去就好了，你知道嗎？"

AND THEY PARTIED HARD.

而他們卻硬生生地參加了聚會。

ACCORDING TO KIM K.: "WE DANCED, RODE BIKES, SWAM NEAR WHALES,

據KIM K.說："我們跳舞，騎自行車，在鯨魚附近游泳。

KAYAKED, WATCHED A MOVIE ON THE BEACH, AND SO MUCH MORE."

KAYAKED，看了一場電影在海灘上，和更多。"

I ASSUME "SO MUCH MORE" MEANS HUNTING THE WAITSTAFF FOR SPORT.

我猜 "這麼多 "是指獵取候補隊員的運動。

I'M JUST WORRIED THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE RICH PEOPLE WHO DO

我只是擔心他們會給那些有錢的人帶來麻煩

WHATEVER THEY WANT ON A PRIVATE ISLAND A BAD NAME.

他們在私人島嶼上想做什麼就做什麼... ...一個糟糕的名字。

( LAUGHTER ) SEE YOU SOON, RICHARD BRANSON.

（笑）再見，理查德・布蘭森。

WOULD YOU GO IF BRANSON INVITED US?

如果布蘭森邀請我們，你會去嗎？

WOULD YOU GO.

你會不會去。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: LEGAL ME YOU HAVE TO GO NOW IF HE INVITES US.

>> Stephen:如果他邀請我們，你必須馬上去。