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  • >> Stephen: WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

    >> Stephen:歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

  • I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

    我是你的主播,史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

  • LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I RARELY SAY THIS, AND I NEVER MEAN IT,

    女士們,先生們,我很少這樣說,我也從來沒有想過。

  • BUT WE HAVE BREAKING NEWS.

    但我們有重大新聞。

  • JUST MOMENTS BEFORE I WALKED INTO THE STUDIO I'M IN RIGHT

    就在我走進我所在的工作室前的幾個小時裡

  • NOW, I LEARNED SOMETHING SHOCKING.

    現在,我學到了一些令人震驚的東西。

  • TWO YEARS AGO-- YOU MAY REMEMBER,

    兩年前... 你可能還記得。

  • THE NEW YORK TIMES PUBLISHED AN OP-ED CALLED "I AM PART OF THE

    紐約時報》發表了一篇名為《我是其中的一部分》的評論文章。

  • RESISTANCE: INSIDE THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION" BY SOMEBODY

    抗議:特朗普政府內部 "由一些人組成的

  • KNOWN ONLY AS "ANONYMOUS."

    只知道是 "匿名的"。

  • PEOPLE HAVE BEEN GUESSING WHO THIS EVER SINCE IT WAS RELEASED.

    人們一直在猜測這是誰自從它被釋放。

  • WELL, THIS AFTERNOON ANONYMOUS WAS REVEALED AND IT'S MILES

    好了,今天晚上AnonyMOUS被揭露了,它的英里

  • TELLER.

    TELLER:

  • STAR OF "WHIPLASH," THE BELOVED "FANTASTIC FOUR" SERIES, AND THE

    "WHIPLASH "的明星,深受歡迎的 "FANTASTIC FOUR "系列,以及 "FANTASTIC FOUR "的明星。

  • UPCOMING "TOP GUN" REBOOT.

    UPCOMING "TOP GUN "REBOOT。

  • I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MILES TELLER GOT SUCH INTIMATE DETAILS OF

    我不知道幾千人的電報員是怎麼得到這麼詳細的資料的

  • CLASSIFIED INFORMATION-- MAYBE TOM CRUISE TOLD HIM-- BUT THE

    分類資訊... 也許是湯姆-克魯斯告訴他的... ...

  • TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS GOT TO BE REELING RIGHT NOW FROM--

    特朗普政府現在一定是繅絲的... ...。

  • I'M SORRY, WHAT?

    對不起,什麼?

  • AND I'M BEING TOLD IT'S NOT MILES TELLER.

    我被告知這不是MILES TELLER。

  • THEN WHO IS IT?

    那麼是誰呢?

  • MILES TAYLOR?

    MILES TAYLOR?

  • WHO'S THAT?

    那是誰?

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE GUY FROM D.H.S. WHO LEFT

    D.H.S.的那個傢伙離開了。

  • LIKE A YEAR AGO AND ALREADY ENDORSED JOE BIDEN?

    就像一年前,已經支持了喬-比登?

  • WELL, THAT'S NOT NEWS.

    好了,這不是新聞。

  • THAT'S RIDICULOUS-- CALL ME WHEN MILES TELLER DOES

    太可笑了... ...當MILES TELLER做的時候給我打電話。

  • SOMETHING.

    一些事情。

  • THAT KID'S GOT HEAT.

    那孩子有熱度。

  • SORRY.

    對不起。

  • THIS IS WHY I NEVER SAY "BREAKING NEWS."

    這就是為什麼我從來不說 "新聞"。

  • I OVER-REACTED, IN THAT I REACTED AT ALL.

    我反應過度了,因為我根本就沒有反應。

  • THAT'S ON ME.

    這是我。

  • I APOLOGIZE, LET'S GO ON.

    我道歉,讓我們繼續。

  • WHERE WAS I?

    我在哪裡?

  • COFFEE.

    咖啡:

  • ONE SECOND.

    一秒鐘。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) RIGHT, OKAY, YEAH.

    (笑)右,好吧,是的。

  • IT IS OCTOBER 28, THE FINAL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THE

    現在是10月28日,是 "中國夢 "前的最後一個週三。

  • PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, OR, DEPENDING ON WHO WINS, THE FINAL

    總統選舉,或者說,視誰勝出而定,最後的選舉。

  • WEDNESDAY.

    週三:

  • BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH, AND SO ARE THE VOTE

    因為情緒高漲,選票也高漲。

  • TOTALS, BECAUSE WITH SIX DAYS STILL TO GO, THANKS TO EARLY

    總數,因為還有六天的時間,因為早早就有了

  • VOTING, MORE THAN HALF THE TOTAL 2016 VOTE IS ALREADY IN.

    投票,2016年投票總數的一半以上已經進入。

  • THAT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE.

    這是非常令人印象深刻的。

  • BUT IF 2016 TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT'S THAT "MORE THAN HALF"

    但如果2016年告訴我們什麼,那就是 "超過一半"。

  • SOMETIMES ISN'T ENOUGH.

    有時是不夠的。

  • SO FAR, BIDEN IS OFF TO A GOOD START, IN PART BECAUSE 2020 HAS

    到目前為止,BIDEN開了個好頭,部分原因是2020年有了

  • BEEN A RECORD-SHATTERING YEAR FOR EARLY VOTING AMONG YOUNG

    今年是年輕人早期投票率創紀錄的一年。

  • PEOPLE.

    人。

  • THAT IS DOPE TO THE WAP, MY TUBULAR YOUNGLINGS!

    那是WAP上的興奮劑,我的小弟弟們!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THIS CAMPAIGN HAS GONE ON FOR AN

    這場宣傳活動已經持續了一個多月。

  • ETERNITY.

    永恆的。

  • AND 2020 IS PROJECTED TO BE MOST EXPENSIVE U.S. ELECTION EVER,

    而2020年預計將是美國有史以來最耗費的選舉。

  • WITH SPENDING AS HIGH AS $14 BILLION.

    支出高達140億美元。

  • AND THAT'S "BEFORE" YOU COUNT MONEY FOR BOOZE AND ZOOM

    而這是在你為酒和讚美計算金錢之前的事

  • SESSIONS WITH MY PSYCHIC.

    與我的心理醫生的會議:

  • WHO'S GOING TO WIN, ESMERELDA?

    誰會贏, ESMERELDA?

  • MOST OF THE CAMPAIGN CASH HAS GONE TO TV ADS.

    大部分的競選資金都用在了電視廣告上。

  • AND THANKS TO A NEW REPORT, WE'RE LEARNING SOME MORE ABOUT

    由於一份新的報告,我們瞭解了更多關於... ...

  • WHAT TV SHOWS THE CANDIDATES ARE ADVERTISING ON.

    什麼電視節目的候選人都在廣告上。

  • THERE'S A LOT OF SIMILARITIES.

    有很多相似之處。

  • BOTH CAMPAIGNS ARE RUNNING A LOT OF ADS ON RERUNS OF "THE BIG

    兩大陣營都在重播 "The BIG "中播放大量廣告。

  • BANG THEORY."

    砰理論。"

  • THAT'S A LITTLE SURPRISING.

    這有點讓人吃驚。

  • TRUMP'S NO FAN OF SCIENCE.

    特朗普不喜歡科學。

  • BUT SO FAR NO ONE'S MADE "THE BIG BANG IS A CHINESE HOAX."

    但到目前為止,沒有人提出 "大爆炸是中國的騙局"。

  • BUT THE CAMPAIGNS HAVE BEEN TARGETING SOME DIFFERENT

    但是,這些廣告活動一直針對一些不同的人。

  • AUDIENCES.

    聽眾:

  • FOR INSTANCE, TRUMP HAS PRIORITIZED RERUNS OF "THE ANDY

    目前,特朗普已經優先重播《安迪》。

  • GRIFFITH SHOW," WHICH RAN FROM 1960 TO 1968.

    格里菲思秀",從1960年到1968年。

  • NOT TO BE OUTDONE, BIDEN STARTED ADVERTISING ON THE "TRAIN

    不負眾望,BIDEN開始在 "火車 "上做廣告。

  • ENTERING THE STATION" CHANNEL.

    進入車站 "頻道。

  • "I WAS ON THAT TRAIN.

    "我在那列火車上,

  • GOT INTO A FISTFIGHT WITH ONE OF THE LUMIERE BROTHERS.

    與LUMIERE兄弟之一發生了爭執。

  • RELEASE THE DIRECTOR'S CUT!

    釋放導演的剪輯!

  • COME ON, JACQUES!" BUT THERE'S ONE SHOW THAT TRUMP

    來吧,JACQUES!"但有一個節目,特朗普。

  • HAS PUT A LOT OF AD DOLLARS INTO THAT KIND OF SURPRISED ME.

    他投入了大量的廣告費,讓我很吃驚。

  • BECAUSE TRUMP HAS AIRED ALMOST 1,200 COMMERCIALS ON "THE LATE

    因為特朗普在 "晚間新聞 "上播出了1200多條廣告。

  • SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."

    與STEPHEN COLBERT一起演出。"

  • WOW.

    WOW。

  • HAS HE SEEN HOW I TALK ABOUT HIM ON THIS SHOW?

    他看到我在這個節目上如何談論他了嗎?

  • WELL, I GUESS IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME TRUMP'S PAID SOMEONE

    我想這不是特朗普第一次付錢給別人了

  • TO SPANK HIM.

    要打他的屁股。

  • ( "GROOVE IS IN THE HEART" ) >> THIS SLAM PAID FOR BY DONALD

    ("GROOVE IS IN THE HEART") >>這一巴掌由唐納德支付。

  • TRUMP SLAM!

    特朗普抨擊!

  • >> Stephen: ON THE RALLY FRONT, TRUMP IS SPENDING HIS TIME

    >> 史蒂芬:在集會前線,特朗普正在花費他的時間。

  • SHORING UP STATES HE WON IN 2016.

    減持他在2016年贏得的州。

  • YESTERDAY, TRUMP WAS IN MICHIGAN, WHERE HE SAID

    昨天,特朗普在密歇根州,在那裡,他說

  • SOMETHING A LITTLE ODD FOR A SITTING PRESIDENT.

    對於一個現任總統來說,有些事情有點奇怪。

  • >> I DON'T SOUND LIKE A POLITICIAN BECAUSE I'M NOT A

    >> 我聽起來不像一個政治家,因為我不是一個

  • POLITICIAN.

    政治家。

  • I NEVER WANTED TO BE A POLITICIAN.

    我從來沒有想成為一個政治家。

  • >> Stephen: THAT SENTIMENT WAS OKAY FOUR YEARS AGO.

    >> Stephen:四年前,這種感覺還不錯。

  • BUT NOW KNRUR THE POLITICIAN.

    但現在知道了政治家。

  • THAT'S LIKE YOUR SURGEON LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT BEFORE YOU GO UNDER

    就像你的外科醫生在你手術前看著你一樣。

  • AND SAYING, ( AS SURGEON )

    並說,(作為外科醫生)。

  • "BY THE WAY, I DON'T SOUND LIKE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I'M NOT A

    "順便說一句,我聽起來不像醫生,因為我不是醫生

  • DOCTOR.

    醫生:

  • I NEVER WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR.

    我從來沒有想過要當醫生。

  • POKEY STICK!" BUT THE CLIP FROM THIS RALLY

    POKEY STICK!"但從這次集會的剪輯

  • THAT'S GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION IS THIS ATTEMPT TO

    引起很多人注意的是這個企圖。

  • APPEAL TO SUBURBAN WOMEN: >> YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?

    向郊區婦女發出呼籲:>>你知道還有什麼嗎?

  • I'M ALSO GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS.

    我也得到你的丈夫。

  • THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK, RIGHT?

    他們想回去工作,對吧?

  • THEY WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

    他們想回去工作。

  • WE'RE GETTING YOUR HUSBANDS BACK TO WORK.

    我們要讓你們的丈夫回到工作崗位上。

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S GREAT NEWS, LADIES.

    >> 史蒂芬:這是個好消息,女士們。

  • DONALD TRUMP IS GOING TO GET YOUR HUSBANDS BACK TO WORK, SO

    唐納德-特朗普要讓你的丈夫們重返工作崗位,所以。

  • YOU CAN GET ALL YOUR LADY-CHORES DONE, LIKE VOTING FOR JOE BIDEN.

    你可以完成你所有的女性角色,比如投票給喬-比登。

  • TODAY, BEFORE DEPARTING FOR ARIZONA, TRUMP HELD A QUICK NEWS

    今天,在出發前往亞利桑那州之前,特朗普召開了一個簡短的新聞發佈會。

  • CONFERENCE WHERE HE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE RECENT UNREST IN

    被問及最近的動亂時的情況。

  • PHILADELPHIA.

    PHILADELPHIA.

  • AND HE DESCRIBED THE SCENE IN A VERY DONALD TRUMP WAY.

    他描述的場景 在一個非常唐納德・特朗普的方式。

  • >> PEOPLE ARE BREAKING INTO STORES AND WALKING OUT WITH

    >> 人們闖入商店,並與走出去

  • WASHING MACHINES AND WALKING OUT WITH ALL SORTS OF THINGS, AND IT

    洗滌機和走出去的所有種類的東西,和它

  • SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED.

    不應允許。

  • >> Stephen: FOR THE RECORD, IT'S NOT ALLOWED.

    >> Stephen:恕我直言,這是不允許的。

  • AND I'LL SAY THIS: LOOTING IS WRONG, BUT IF YOU CAN WALK OUT

    我要說的是,搶劫是錯誤的,但如果你能走出去,

  • OF A STORE CARRYING A WASHING MACHINE, I THINNK YOU SHOULD BE

    我覺得你應該是一個有洗衣機的商店。

  • ALLOWED TO KEEP IT, AND NOT JUST DURING RIOTS.

    允許保留它,而不僅僅是在暴亂期間。

  • THAT SHOULD BE, LIKE, A BLANKET POLICY.

    這應該是,像,一個空白的政策。

  • LIKE THOSE RESTAURANTS WHERE IF YOU CAN FINISH THE 72-OUNCE

    像那些餐廳,如果你能完成72盎司的... ...

  • STEAK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

    你不需要為它付出代價。

  • IF YOU LOOK AT THE RECENT COVID NEWS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PURELL

    如果你看看最近的COVID新聞,你可能會想出售

  • YOUR EYEBALLS, BECAUSE IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS VIRUS IS GOING

    你的眼睛,因為它很清楚,這種病毒是怎麼回事

  • EVERYWHERE FAST.

    哪兒都快。

  • ESPECIALLY IN STATES THAT TRUMP DESPERATELY NEEDS, LIKE TEXAS.

    尤其是在特朗普急需的州,比如德克薩斯州。

  • IN EL PASO, THE NUMBER OF ADMITTED COVID PATIENTS HAS MORE

    在埃爾帕索,接受的科威德病人的數量增加了。

  • THAN TRIPLED OVER THE PAST THREE WEEKS, FORCING DOCTORS TO TREAT

    在過去的三個星期裡翻了三倍,迫使醫生們治療

  • SOME PATIENTS IN A FIELD HOSPITAL IN A NEARBY PARKING

    在附近停車場的一家野戰醫院的一些病人。

  • LOT.

    很多。

  • THAT IS TERRIBLE.

    這是可怕的。

  • THE ONLY THINGS THAT SHOULD HAPPEN IN A PARKING LOT ARE

    在停車場裡唯一應該發生的事情是什麼?

  • PARKING, SELLING PUMPKINS, AND GETTING HIGH WITH A BONG YOU

    泊車、賣泡菜、和你一起嗑瓜子。

  • MADE OUT OF A PUMPKIN.

    瓜子做的。

  • HERE'S HOW BAD IT IS: WHILE IT TOOK OUR COUNTRY THREE MONTHS

    這裡有多糟糕。雖然它花了我們國家三個月的時間。

  • FOR THE FIRST 500,000 CASES, THE U.S. IS NOW REPORTING 500,000

    在最初的500,000個案例中,美國現在報告了500,000個案例。

  • NEW CASES JUST IN THE PAST WEEK.

    過去一週的新案例。

  • CLEARLY, WE'RE A LONG WAY FROM ENDING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC.

    很明顯,我們離結束COVID -19恐慌症還有很長的路要走。

  • ON THE OTHER HAND, YESTERDAY, A NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE

    另一方面,昨天,白宮發佈了新的新聞公報。

  • ANNOUNCED THAT ONE OF TRUMP'S BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IS

    宣佈特朗普最大的成就之一就是

  • ENDING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC.

    結束了COVID-19大恐慌。

  • NOW, WHILE THAT IS CLEARLY INSANE, DECLARING VICTORY

    現在,雖然這顯然是瘋狂的,但宣佈勝利。

  • PREMATURELY IS A PROUD REPUBLICAN TRADITION.

    PREMATURELY是一個自豪的共和傳統。

  • AT THIS POINT, TRUMP'S NOT JUST NERO FIDDLING WHILE ROME BURNS,

    此時此刻,特朗普不只是在羅馬燃燒的時候玩玩而已。

  • HE'S NERO SENDING OUT A PRESS RELEASE THAT SAYS, "YOU'RE NOT

    他是NERO發出的新聞發佈會,說,"你不是"。

  • ON FIRE."

    著火了。"

  • I'D SAY THIS IS DONALD TRUMP PEEING ON OUR LEG AND TELLING US

    我想說,這是唐納德-特朗普在我們的腿上撒尿,並告訴我們。

  • IT'S RAINING, BUT HE USUALLY PAYS RUSSIAN PROSTITUTES TO DO

    下雨了,但他總是付錢給俄羅斯妓女來做。

  • THAT.

    那。

  • >> I'M DONALD J. TRUMP AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE.

    >> 我是唐納德-J-特朗普,我同意這條消息。

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU, SIR.

    >> Stephen:謝謝你,先生。

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING CHECKS FROM DONALD TRUMP.

    我不能相信我們正在得到支票 從唐納德・特朗普。

  • AND THEY CLEARED.

    和他們清除。

  • THIS PRESS RELEASE FROM THE MOUTH OF MADNESS WAS CREATED BY

    這篇來自 "瘋狂之口 "的新聞發佈稿是由

  • THE WHITE HOUSE'S "OFFICE OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY POLICY,"

    白宮的 "科學與技術政策辦公室"

  • AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING JUST HOW "SCIENCE" THEY ARE, ONE OF THE

    如果你想知道他們有多 "科學",那麼其中的一個人就會告訴你。

  • OTHER MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS THEY TOUT IS, "UNDERSTANDING OUR

    他們標榜的其他主要成就是,"瞭解我們的"。

  • PLANET."

    PLANET。"

  • ( AS TRUMP ) "LOOK, I GET THE PLANET BETTER

    "看,我把地球弄得更好了

  • THAN ANYONE.

    比任何人。

  • IT'S BLUE AND IT'S GREEN, HEAVEN IS UP, HELL IS DOWN, IT'S SHAPED

    它是藍色的,它是綠色的,天堂在上,地獄在下,它是成形的。

  • LIKE A MEATBALL, AND THE WHOLE THING REVOLVES AROUND ME."

    就像一個肉球,和整個事情 圍繞著我旋轉。"

  • BUT THERE ARE SOME QUOTES FROM LEADING ACADEMIC MINDS IN THIS

    但是,這裡面有一些來自學術界領軍人物的名言。

  • DOCUMENT.

    文件:

  • ONE SAYS, "PRESIDENT TRUMP'S POLICIES AND INVESTMENTS IN

    一個人說,"特朗普總統的政策和投資在。

  • SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ENSURE AMERICA STANDS READY TO SOLVE

    科學和技術確保美國隨時準備解決的問題

  • TODAY'S MOST PRESSING CHALLENGES"-- AN ENDORSEMENT

    當今最緊迫的挑戰"--贊同書

  • THAT COMES FROM WORLD-RENOWNED SCIENTIST IVANKA TRUMP.

    這來自世界著名的科學家伊萬卡-特朗普。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) DON'T BELIEVE ME?

    (笑)不相信我嗎?

  • HERE SHE IS IN A LAB A FEW YEARS BACK, DISTILLING PURE CRAP.

    她幾年前就在實驗室裡 蒸餾純垃圾了

  • NO ONE IS BUYING IT.

    沒有人買它。

  • EVEN AN OFFICIAL ON TRUMP'S OWN COVID TASK FORCE SAID, "IT'S

    甚至連特朗普自己的保密工作小組的官員也說:"這是一個很好的例子。

  • MIND-BOGGLING.

    令人瞠目結舌。

  • THERE'S NO WORLD IN WHICH ANYONE CAN THINK THAT STATEMENT IS

    世界上沒有人可以認為這句話是。

  • TRUE.

    真。

  • MAYBE THE PRESIDENT.

    也許主席。

  • BUT I DON'T SEE HOW EVEN HE CAN BELIEVE THAT."

    但我不明白他怎麼會相信這些。"

  • IT'S EASY.

    這很容易。

  • JUST CONSULT HIS CLOSEST MEDICAL ADVISER-- DEXAMETHASONE

    只需諮詢他最接近的醫療顧問----------地塞米松

  • HALLUCINATIONS.

    HALLUCINATIONS:

  • >> COVID'S GONE AWAY AND DONALD TRUMP HAS WASHBOARD ABS.

    >> 科維德離開了,唐納德-特朗普有華盛頓特區。

  • >> Stephen: GET OUT OF HERE!

    >> Stephen:離開這裡!

  • GET OUT OF HERE!

    離開這裡!

  • LAST NIGHT THE L.A. DODGERS BEAT THE TAMPA BAY RAISES IN GAME SIX

    昨晚洛杉磯道奇隊在第六場比賽中擊敗了坦帕灣隊。

  • TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES.

    贏得世界系列賽。

  • CONGRATULATIONSING TO THE DODGERS, WHO HAVEN'T WON THE BIG

    祝賀道奇隊,誰也沒有贏得大。

  • ONE SINCE THE 80s WHEN THEIR UNIFORM LOOKED LIKE THIS.

    一個自從80年代,當他們的制服看起來像這樣。

  • BIT THERE IS ONE THING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S GAME, IT WAS

    昨晚的比賽有一個特點,那就是... ...

  • INTERESTING.

    有意思的。

  • DURING THE EIGHTH INNING, SYLVESTER TURNER WAS PULLED OUT

    在第八局中,西爾維斯特-特納被踢出場外

  • WITH NOW EXPLANATION OPINION WAS HE INJURED?

    有了現在的解釋意見,他受傷了嗎?

  • WAS HE TRADED?

    他被交易了嗎?

  • WAS HE FINALLY SWALLOWED BY HIS OWN BEARD?

    他終於被自己的鬍子吞噬了嗎?

  • NONE OF THE ABOVE.

    以上都不是。

  • BECAUSE WE LATER LEARNED THAT TURNER TOOK THE FIELD WHILE

    因為我們後來才知道,特納上場的時候

  • STILL AWAITING THE RESULTS OF "HIS TUESDAY MORNING COVID

    仍在等待 "他的星期二早上的節目 "的結果。

  • TEST," BUT IT WAS ONLY LAST NIGHT THAT, "RIGHT AROUND THE

    測試,"但直到昨晚,"就在附近的

  • BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH, THE LAB RETURNED THE NEWS."

    "第六日下戰書,實驗室傳回了新聞。"

  • "WHICH CONFIRMED A POSITIVE."

    "這證實了一個積極的。"

  • NICE JOB, M.L.B. TESTING.

    好工作,M. L. B. 測試。

  • YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE ONLY THING SLOWER THAN BASEBALL.

    你是官方唯一比棒球慢的東西。

  • OF COURSE, GIVEN THE DIAGNOSIS, TURNER DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING

    當然,鑑於診斷結果,Turner做了負責任的事情。

  • AND HIT THE DUGOUT FOR A HUG SESH!

    並在DUGOUT上大肆宣傳!

  • "YOU GET THE CORONAVIRUS!

    "你得到的冠狀病毒!

  • AND YOU.

    和你。

  • AND WHOSE WEATHER WATCHER ARE YOU?

    你是誰的天氣預報員?

  • I DON'T CARE.

    我不在乎。

  • AND THEN I KISS MY OWN WIFE.

    然後我親吻我自己的妻子。

  • AND TAKE OFF THE MASK WITH ALL THE TEAMMATES!

    和所有隊友一起脫掉面具!

  • WHOOO!

    嗚!

  • DON'T INFECT EACH OTHER, FELLAS.

    不要感染對方,FELLAS。

  • YOU ARE THE CHAMPS.

    你們是冠軍。

  • YOU GET TO GO TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

    你可以去白宮。

  • THIS IS THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR BY AN ATHLETE SINCE

    這是最不負責任的行為由一個運動員自。

  • LeBRON JAMES'S PRE-GAME ANTHRAX TOSS.

    勒布朗-詹姆斯的賽前蟻力球。

  • OF COURSE, EVERYONE IS SUFFERING UNDER THIS PANDEMIC.

    當然,每個人都在遭受下這個PANDEMIC。

  • WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.

    好吧,幾乎每個人。

  • BECAUSE YESTERDAY THE INTERNET BLEW UP AFTER DISCOVERING THAT

    因為昨天發現這個消息後,互聯網上炸開了鍋。

  • KIM KARDASHIAN WEST THREW A PARTY FOR HERSELF AND DOZENS OF

    金-卡戴珊-韋斯特為自己和幾十個人舉辦了一個派對。

  • FRIENDS ON A PRIVATE ISLAND.

    私人島嶼上的朋友們。

  • ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD WANT TO KEEP THAT UNDER WRAPS...

    任何有理智的人都會想把它藏起來... ...

  • WHICH IS WHY KIM KARDASHIAN POSTED IT ALL ON TWITTER, SAYING

    這就是為什麼金-卡戴珊在Twitter上發佈了這一切,說

  • "AFTER TWO WEEKS OF MULTIPLE HEALTH SCREENS AND ASKING

    "經過兩個星期的多重健康檢查和詢問

  • EVERYONE TO QUARANTINE, I SURPRISED MY CLOSEST INNER

    每個人都到夸父,我驚訝我最親近的內線。

  • CIRCLE WITH A TRIP TO A PRIVATE ISLAND WHERE WE COULD PRETEND

    圈子裡有一個私人島嶼的旅行,在那裡我們可以假裝。

  • THINGS WERE NORMAL JUST FOR A BRIEF MOMENT IN TIME."

    "一切都很正常,只是在短暫的時間裡。"

  • AND YOU THINK THAT'S NORMAL?

    你覺得這很正常嗎?

  • "YEAH, ME AND MY OTHER REALITY SHOW STAR SIBLINGS TOOK A

    "是的,我和我的其他真人秀明星兄弟姐妹們採取了一個。

  • PRIVATE JET TO A SECRET ISLAND FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

    私家飛機到一個祕密的島嶼過幾個星期。

  • IT'S JUST NICE TO GET BACK INTO A ROUTINE, YOU KNOW?"

    "回到規律中去就好了,你知道嗎?"

  • AND THEY PARTIED HARD.

    而他們卻硬生生地參加了聚會。

  • ACCORDING TO KIM K.: "WE DANCED, RODE BIKES, SWAM NEAR WHALES,

    據KIM K.說:"我們跳舞,騎自行車,在鯨魚附近游泳。

  • KAYAKED, WATCHED A MOVIE ON THE BEACH, AND SO MUCH MORE."

    KAYAKED,看了一場電影在海灘上,和更多。"

  • I ASSUME "SO MUCH MORE" MEANS HUNTING THE WAITSTAFF FOR SPORT.

    我猜 "這麼多 "是指獵取候補隊員的運動。

  • I'M JUST WORRIED THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE RICH PEOPLE WHO DO

    我只是擔心他們會給那些有錢的人帶來麻煩

  • WHATEVER THEY WANT ON A PRIVATE ISLAND A BAD NAME.

    他們在私人島嶼上想做什麼就做什麼... ...一個糟糕的名字。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SEE YOU SOON, RICHARD BRANSON.

    (笑)再見,理查德・布蘭森。

  • WOULD YOU GO IF BRANSON INVITED US?

    如果布蘭森邀請我們,你會去嗎?

  • WOULD YOU GO.

    你會不會去。

  • >> YES.

    >> 是。

  • >> Stephen: LEGAL ME YOU HAVE TO GO NOW IF HE INVITES US.

    >> Stephen:如果他邀請我們,你必須馬上去。

  • BUT IN SPITE OF THE EXTRAVAGANCE OF THIS PARTY, KIM MANAGED TO

    但是,儘管這個派對很奢侈,但金正日還是做到了

  • STAY GROUNDED, TWEETING "I REALIZE THAT FOR MOST PEOPLE,

    穩紮穩打,在微博上說:"我意識到,對於大多數人來說。

  • THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS SO FAR OUT OF REACH RIGHT NOW, SO IN

    這是一件非常遙遠的事情,現在遙不可及,所以在。

  • MOMENTS LIKE THESE, I AM HUMBLY REMINDED OF HOW PRIVILEGED MY

    像這樣的時刻,我很慚愧地想起了我的隱私。

  • LIFE IS."

    生活是。"