TO READ ANY COMMENTS ABOUT MYSELF OR ABOUT THE SHOW ON

閱讀任何關於我自己或節目的評論

SOCIAL MEDIA.

社會媒體：

IT IS JUST A LITTLE THING THAT I CALL SELF-CARE, OKAY.

這只是一個小東西，我叫自我保健，好嗎。

BUT AFTER THE PAST FEW MONTHS THERE HAS BEEN A TREND ONLINE

但在過去的幾個月裡，網上出現了一種趨勢。

THAT I HAVE FRANKLY BEEN UNABLE TO IGNORE.

我一直都無法忽視這一點。

AS YOU CAN SEE, HERE I HAVE HAD THOUSANDS OF COMMENTS ON

你可以看到，這裡我已經有成千上萬的評論，在

TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, YOUTUBE, INSISTING THAT I KIDNAP ONE

微博，INSAGRAM，YOUTUBE，堅持讓我綁架一個。

DIRECTION.

方向：

IT'S ALL MY FEED.

這都是我的飼料。

IS YOU KNOW THAT THEY HAVE APPEARED WILLINGLY ON THE SHOW

你知道他們只在節目中出現過嗎？

BEFORE, RIGHT.

前，右。

AND I'M NOT GOING TO BRAG, I DO HAVE THEIR PHONE NUMBERS, OKAY.

我不是去吹牛， 我有他們的電話號碼，好嗎。

SO MAYBE YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT, IT IS WAY EASIER TO DETERMINE THEIR

所以也許你們是對的，這是更容易確定他們的。

RESPECTIVE LOCATIONS, LEAVE MY FAMILY, FLY TO DIFFERENT

尊敬的地點，離開我的家人，飛到不同的地方。

COUNTRIES ALL OVER ITS WORLD DURING A PANDEMIC, KIDNAP THEM,

世界各地的國家在大恐慌期間，綁架他們。

AND FORCE THEM TO SING NIGHT CHANGES IN MY CAR.

強迫他們在我的車裡唱夜曲。

AND WE ALREADY KNOW THAT ONE DIRECTION HAS ENOUGH TO WORRY

我們已經知道，一個方向有足夠的擔心。

ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO KIDNAPPING.

關於什麼時候綁架，

YOU KNOW?

你知道嗎？

I MEAN EVERYBODY WANNA STEAL THEIR GIRL, EVERYBODY WANT TO

我的意思是，每個人都想偷自己的女孩，每個人都想。

TAKE HER HEART AWAY.

TAKE HER HEART AWAY.

WHY WOULD WE WANT TO ADD TO THAT.

我們為什麼要在這上面做文章。

I LOOK INTO IT, AND ON AVERAGE THE SHOW HAS BEEN GETTING OVER

我研究了一下，平均來說，這個節目已經結束了。

300 YOUTUBE COMMENTS PER WEEK ABOUT ME KIDNAPPING ONE

每週300條關於我綁架一個人的YOUTUBE評論。

DIRECTION.

方向：

AND I JUST WANT TO SAY THIS, THE MORE PEOPLE ASK ME TO KIDNAP THE

我想說的是，越多的人要求我綁架...

BOYS, THE LESS LIKELY I AM TO DO IT.

孩子們，我越是不可能做到這一點。

YOU ARE KILLING ANY ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.

你正在殺死任何元素的驚喜。

AND SURPRISE IS A MAJOR FACTOR WHEN KIDNAPPING SOMEONE.

在綁架某人時，驚喜是一個重要的因素。

(LAUGHTER) IN THE HISTORY OF KIDNAPPING, I

在綁架的歷史上，我...

DON'T THINK ANY OF THEM HAVE ORIGINATED FROM A FAN ACCOUNT

別以為這些都是粉絲賬戶裡的東西。

RELENTLESSLY SUGGESTING THAT A CRIME TAKE PLACE.

熱情地暗示犯罪行為的發生。

OKAY?

好嗎？

AND IT IS A CRIME.

這是一個犯罪。

AND I DON'T WANT TO SEEM INSINCERE.

我不想讓人覺得我很不認真。

I DON'T WE HAVE SOME OF THE MOST DEDICATED VIEWERS AND I AM SO

我不，我們有一些最忠實的觀眾，我很。

THANKFUL FOR THAT.

感激不盡。

WHAT I AM NOT THANKFUL FOR IS THIS PERSON EVERY DAY FOR A

我不感謝的是這個人，每天都是這樣。

STRAIGHT WEEK ASKING FOR JAMES CORDON, SPELLED INCORRECTLY, TO

直線周要求詹姆斯-科頓，拼寫不正確的，到。

KIDNAP ONE DIRECTION AND PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER.

綁架一個方向，然後把它們放在一起。

PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER.

把它們放在一起。

THIS IS A BOY BAND, NOT HUMPY DUMPY.

這是一個男孩的樂隊，而不是HUMPY DUMPY。

THEY POSTED THIS SAME MESSAGE EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK, EVEN EMAIL

他們發佈了這個相同的消息每天一個星期，甚至電子郵件。

SPAMMERS FROM NIGERIA SAW THOSE POST AND SAID GIVE IT A REST,

來自尼日利亞的垃圾郵件發送者看到這些帖子，說讓它休息一下。

THIS IS OVERKILL.

這是殺戮。

AND I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ASKED NICELY LIKE KAYLIE A WHO

我知道你們中的很多人都問過像凱莉這樣的問題。

SIMPLY WROTE DON'T BE SHY, KIDNAP ONE DIRECTION.

簡單的寫了不要害羞，綁架一個方向。

AND CAYLY, IT IS NOT SHYNESS.

而Cayly，這不是害羞。

I AM NOT SHY.

我不害羞。

I AM JUST AMAZING AT LOOKING LIKE I MIGHT HAVE A CHEEKY

我只是驚訝於看起來像我可能有一個頰，

LITTLE SECRET.

小小的祕密。

(LAUGHTER) YOU KNOW WHO ELSE ISN'T SHY.

你知道誰不害羞嗎？

ISSA FRANCISCO WHO HAD THE NERVE TO POST THIS COMMENT, JAMES,

ISSA FRANCISCO誰有膽量發佈這條評論，詹姆斯。

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE MOST

你還在等什麼，你知道你是最棒的。

POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, KIDNAP THE 1D BOYS AND FORCE

世界上最強大的人，綁架1D男孩，並迫使。

THEM TO REUNIT AGAIN.

他們再次團聚。

YOU WOULD SAVE 2020.

你會節省2020年。

YES, OKAY, I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD.

是的，好的，我是世界上最有力量的人。

THAT'S WHY I AM ON CBS RIGHT NOW AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING.

這就是為什麼我現在在凌晨1點上CBS的節目。

(LAUGHTER) WHICH IS WHERE ALL OF THE MOST

(笑) 這也是所有的最重要的地方

POWERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD GATHER.

世界上的強者們聚集在一起。

STAY TUNED FOR JEFF BEZOS SHOW RIGHT AFTER THIS, OKAY.

留意傑夫BEZOS秀之後，OKAY。

NOW I HEAR YOU, LOOK, I WOULD LOVE TO SAVE 2020.

現在我聽到了，聽著，我很想拯救2020年。

I WOULD.

我想。

BUT IN ALL HONESTY THE BEST I CAN DO IS PROBABLY GET THEM TO

但說實話，我能做的最好的事情是可能讓他們去

RE-RELEASE THEIR TOOTHPASTE LINE, OKAY.

重新發布他們的牙膏線，好嗎。

I'M SORRY.

我很抱歉。

AND SOME PEOPLE HAVEN'T EVEN STOPPED AT ME, ONE PERSON WENT

有些人甚至沒有停留在我身上，一個人去了。

AS FAR AS TO ASK PRESIDENT TRUMP TO MAKE ME ONE DIRECTIONS

至於請川普總統給我一個訓示。

MANAGER.

經理：

IN REPLYING TO TRUMP COMPLAIN BEING TWITTER TRENDING

在回覆特朗普抱怨是TWITTER的趨勢。

TOING@QUETZAIL WROTE THIS WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU, WE ARE

TOING@QUETZAIL寫了這個，我們不是在說你，我們是在說你。

TALKING ABOUT ONE DIRECTION.

談論一個方向。

ALSO I WILL FORGIVE YOU IF YOU MAKE THEM COME BACK AND MAKE

我也會原諒你，如果你讓他們回來，並使

JAMES CORDEN THEIR MANAGER.

JAMES CORDEN 他們的經理：

I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT I DON'T THINK TRUMP IS VERY GOD AT

我不想告訴你，但我認為特朗普不是上帝。

BRINGING ANYBODY TOGETHER, OKAY.

召集大家一起，好嗎。

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, HONESTLY, NOTHING WOULD GIVEME MORE

在所有的認真，誠實，沒有什麼會給我更多的。

PLEASURE THAN TO SEE ONE DIRECTION REUNIT.

很高興看到 "第一方向 "重聚。

I THINK ABOUT IT AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

我和你一樣在想這個問題。

I LOVE THOSE BOYS WITH ALL OF MY HEART.

我全心全意地愛著這些男孩。

BUT HONESTLY, I SIMPLY CAN NOT COMMIT A CRIME, OKAY.

但說實話，我簡單地不能犯罪，好嗎。

AND I AM HONORED THAT YOU WANT ME TO BE THE PERSON TO BRING

我很榮幸，你想讓我成為帶你來的人。

THEM BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, YOU AND ME, WE GOT A

他們回到一起，因為讓我們面對現實，你和我，我們有一個。

WHOLE LOT OF HISTORY BUT UNTIL THAT SWEET, SWEET DAY, WHEN WE

很多的歷史，但直到那一天，甜蜜的，甜蜜的一天，當我們

CAN ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SETTLE FOR ENJOYING

我們又可以在一起了，我們只需要滿足於享受。

THE INCREDIBLE MEMORIES WE'VE ALREADY MADE.

我們已經做的不可思議的記憶。

WHICH HI, I'M HARRY.

嗨，我是哈里。

>> I'M NICE.

>> 我很好。

>> I'M GLAIM.

>> 我是GLAIM。

>> I'M LIAM I'M LOUIE.

>> 我是利亞姆我是路易。

>> AND WE'RE ONE DIRECTION, WE'LL BE WATCHING THE "LATE,

>> 我們是一個方向，我們將觀看 "晚些時候，"。

LATE SHOW" FEATURING JAMES CORDEN.

晚間秀 "由詹姆斯-科登主演。

>> ONE DIRECTION.

>> 一個方向。

>> HARRY, LIAM, LOUIS AND NICE, ONE DIRECTION.

>> 哈里，利亞姆，路易斯和尼斯，一個方向。

>> I NEED SOMEONE TO BE MY CAT.

>> 我需要有人做我的貓。

>> COME AND AND BE PIE.

>> 來吧，併成為餡餅。

>> SO THE CAT DOESN'T.

>> 所以貓不。

>> SEATBELTS ON, IF ANYONE NEEDS A WEE.

>> 繫好安全帶，如果有人需要的話。

>> I NEED A WEE.

>> 我需要一個星期。

>> HOLD IT.

>> 握住它。

>> WAKING UP.

>> 醒來。

♪ WITHOUT YOU.

#沒有你。

♪ I CAN'T CONTAIN IT ANY MORE.

我再也忍不住了。

♪ ♪ WANT TO GET SOME FOOD.

想得到一些食物。

>> WHAT WOULD WE LIKE TO EAT, BOYS.

>> 我們想吃什麼，孩子們。

>> 10 PIECE NUGGET.

>> 10片NUGGET。

>> 10 PIECE NUGGET.

>> 10片NUGGET。

>> I WILL HAVE A BIG Mac.

>> 我將有一個大的Mac。

>> AND AN ICED TEA.

>> 還有一杯冰茶。

>> AND AN ICED TEA.

>> 還有一杯冰茶。

>> CAN I HAVE AW SAUSAGE McMUFFIN WITH EGGS WITH TWO

>> 我可以吃到 AW 蛋黃酥嗎？

HASH BROWNS AND A CHOCOLATE MILK PLEASE.

薯餅和巧克力牛奶，請。

>> WHAT AM I.

>> 我是什麼。

>> WE ARE GOING TO PLAY TATTOO ROULETTE WHERE ONE OF US TONIGHT

>> 我們今晚要在哪裡玩韃靼滾球遊戲

IS GOING TO LEAVE WITH A TATTOO.

是要離開與紋身。

I MEAN-- SAUSAGE.

我是說... 醬汁。

>> McMUFFIN.

>> McMUFFIN.

NUGGETS.

NuggETS。

>> CAN I GIVE THAT YOU BACK.

>> 我可以把它還給你嗎？

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

>> NO WORRIES, SON, I MEAN LIAM.

>> 沒有擔心，兒子，我的意思是利亞姆。

>> WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY DODGEBALL, WELL, THEY ARE GOING

>> 我們不知道怎麼打飛鏢，好吧，他們要去。

TO KNOW HOW TO PLAY DODGEBALL WHEN WE ARE SMASHING OUR BALLS

當我們打球的時候，要知道如何打DODGEBALL。

IN THEIR FACES.

在他們的臉上。

STAY WITH ME, COME ON.

留在我身邊，來吧。

>> JAMES DEFINITELY HAS AN UNORTHODOX WAY OF COACHING.

>> 詹姆斯確實有一種非正統的執教方式。

>> FROM THIS MINUTE ON THE-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, NILE.

>> 從這一刻起... 你在做什麼, 尼勒.

>> REVEAL THE TATTOO NOW, HERE IT IS.

>> 揭開紋身，現在，這裡是。

OH MY GOODNESS.

哦，我的天哪。

>> RIGHT TO THE SHOWER.

>> 右邊的浴室。