WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "晚間秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主持人STEPHEN COLBERT。

I'M HERE FROM THE LOVELY ED SULLIVAN THEATER OFFICE

我在這裡從可愛的艾德-蘇利文劇院辦公室來了

BUILDING.

建築物：

MY LADY JOINS ME OVER THERE.

我的夫人在那邊和我一起。

>> HELLO.

>> HELLO。

>> Stephen: WE ARE EIGHT DAYS FROM THE

>> Stephen:我們還有八天就到了

ELECTION AND EXCITEMENT IS SPREADING ACROSS THE COUNTRY IF

選舉和激動的情緒正在全國範圍內蔓延，如果

BY EXCITEMENT YOU MEAN CORONAVIRUS.

你說的興奮是指冠狀病毒。

'CAUSE, UH, YEAH.

'CAUSE, UH, YEAH.

THEY SAID THE FALL WOULD GET BAD, AND THEY WAS RIGHT.

他們說秋天會變得很糟糕，他們是對的。

WE ARE EIGHT MONTHS INTO THE PANDEMIC, AND WE'RE ALL TIRED OF

我們是8個月的PANDEMIC， 而我們都厭倦了。

IT.

IT：

I'VE ALREADY WATCHED EVERYTHING ON NETFLIX, EVERYTHING ON HULU

我已經看完了NETFLIX上的所有節目，HULU上的所有節目。

AND, IF ANYONE ASKS, EVERYTHING ON CBS ALL ACCESS.

而且，如果有人問，CBS的所有訪問的一切。

BUT EVEN THOUGH WE'RE TIRED OF THE VIRUS, IT'S STILL SUPER

但即使我們厭倦了病毒，它仍然是超級的

INTERESTED IN US.

對美國感興趣。

ON FRIDAY, THE U.S. HIT AN ALL-TIME HIGH IN NEW CORONAVIRUS

週五，美國新增冠狀病毒數量創下歷史新高。

CASES.

案例：

IT'S APRIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

又到了四月了。

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT "TIGER KING," WE'RE LEARNING HOW TO

我們正在談論 "老虎王"，我們正在學習如何去做。

REGROW OUR SCALLIONS, AND AS FAR AS WE KNOW, SMASH MOUTH HASN'T

生長我們的扇貝，而且據我們所知，SMASH MOUTH並沒有。

KILLED ANYONE YET!

殺死任何人！

HELL, WE'VE GOT SANJAY GUPTA ON TOMORROW!

HELL, WE'VE GOT SANJAY GUPTA ON TOMORROW!

THAT'S NEVER A GOOD SIGN!

這絕不是一個好兆頭!

I HOPE HE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW ALBUM!

我希望他能在這裡談談他的新專輯!

GROOVIN' WITH GUPTA.

與GUPTA合作

GROUP-TA.

GROUP-TA。

HUH?

咦？

NO?

沒有？

THAT'S NOT IT?

這不是它？

>> SINGING WITH SANJAY.

>> 與SANJAY一起唱歌。

>> Stephen: THAT'S BETTER THAN GROOVING WITH GUPTA?

>> Stephen:這比和GUPTA合作更好？

NOTHING FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY.

沒有從花生畫廊。

I GOT HER OVER HERE.

我把她帶到這裡來了。

TELLING ME WHETHER THE JOKES ARE GOOD OR NOT.

告訴我這些笑話是好還是不好。

OKAY, ENOUGH!

好了，夠了！

( LAUGHTER ) WITH THESE RECORD NUMBERS, WE'VE

有了這些記錄的數字，我們就有了。

OFFICIALLY ENTERED, THE THIRD WAVE OF COVID-19 IN THE U.S.

正式進入，美國的第三波COVID-19。

OKAY, BUT THAT'S A LITTLE MISLEADING, BECAUSE IF YOU LOOK

好吧，但這有點誤導人，因為如果你看看

AT THE CHART OF COVID WAVES, THE BOTTOM BEFORE THE THIRD WAVE IS

在科維德波浪圖上，第三波浪前的底部是...。

AS HIGH AS THE CREST OF THE FIRST WAVE.

如同第一波的波峰一樣高。

IT'S NOT REALLY A THIRD WAVE IF THE FIRST WAVE NEVER ENDED.

如果第一波沒有結束，那就不算是第三波。

IT'S LIKE HOW EVERY "ROCKY" MOVIE STARTS WITH THE END OF THE

就像每一部 "搖滾 "電影都是以 "搖滾 "的結尾開始的。

LAST MOVIE.

最後一部電影：

SO THERE'S TECHNICALLY ONLY ONE, VERY LONG "ROCKY" MOVIE.

所以技術上只有一部很長的 "搖滾 "電影。

AND JUST LIKE ROCKY, THE MAIN CHARACTER TALKS LIKE HE'S SPENT

和ROCKY一樣，主要人物說話就像他花了很多時間

A LIFETIME GETTING PUNCHED IN THE HEAD.

一輩子都在被人打頭。

BUT THIS DISTURBING NEWS BRINGS US TO OUR NEWEST SEGMENT: "CATCH

但這一令人不安的消息使我們來到了我們最新的領域："捕捉

A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS BUMMER."

第三波：無盡的繁榮。"

CORONA BUNGA DUDE!

CORONA BUNGA DUDE！

( LAUGHTER ) YOU WANTED ME TO REHEARSE THAT?

（笑）你要我排練嗎？

WE ALMOST HAD TO REHEARSE THAT.

我們幾乎不得不排練。

( LAUGHTER ) WHAT, DO YOU THINK I COULDN'T

（笑）什麼，你認為我不能？

HANDLE THAT LEVEL OF DWRASK?

處理那個級別的DWRASK？

ARE WE GOING LONG RIGHT NOW?

我們現在要走的路還長嗎？

( LAUGHTER ) PART OF WHAT MAKES THIS LATEST

是什麼原因讓這個最新的...

WAVE OF THE FIRST WAVE SO HARD TO CONTAIN IS HOW WIDESPREAD IT

第一波如此難以遏制的是它的傳播範圍有多廣。

IS.

IS.

HOSPITALIZATIONS HAVE JUMPED IN AT LEAST 38 STATES IN THE PAST

過去，至少有38個州的醫院數量激增。

WEEK.

本週。

IN RESPONSE THIS WEEKEND, THE WHITE HOUSE DISPATCHED CHIEF OF

作為對本週末的迴應，白宮派出了首席執行官。

STAFF AND LAST BOY PICKED FOR THE WHITE FOOTBALL GAME, MARK

職員和最後一個被選為白式足球比賽的男孩，MARK

MEADOWS.

MEADOWS.

YESTERDAY, MEADOWS WENT ON CNN TO REASSURE A WORRIED NATION

昨天，米道斯去CNN安慰一個憂心忡忡的國家。

THAT YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

你是在你自己的。

>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO CONTROL THE PANDEMIC.

>> 我們不會去控制PANDEMIC。

>> STEPHEN: OKAY!

>> 好的

THAT WAS A SHORTER CLIP THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

這是個比我想象中更短的片段。

( LAUGHTER ) OKAY!

（笑）好吧！

SO AFTER EIGHT MONTHS OF NOT REALLY TRYING, NOW THEY'RE JUST

所以，經過了八個月的時間沒有真正嘗試，現在他們只是。

GIVING UP.

放棄。

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

這不是很好。

IT'S LIKE IF "MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING" CHANGED ITS

這就像如果 "母親反對酒後駕車 "改變了它的。

NAME TO "MOTHERS WHO REALIZE, HEY, YOU GOTTA GET HOME FROM THE

命名為 "意識到的母親，嘿，你必須從家裡得到的。

BAR SOMEHOW!" OF COURSE, THE MOST INFECTIOUS

吧！"當然，最具有感染力的。

PART OF THE COUNTRY IS THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

國家的一部分是特朗普政府。

AT LEAST 30 PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH TRUMP CAUGHT THE VIRUS,

至少有30名與特朗普有關的人感染了病毒。

INCLUDING THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY THEMSELVES,

包括主席和第一夫人本人。

AND NOW AT LEAST FIVE OF VICE PRESIDENT PENCE'S AIDES

現在至少有五名副總統彭斯的助手。

HAVE TESTED POSITIVE FOR THE VIRUS.

已測試陽性的病毒。

THE NEW INFECTIONS IN THE VICE PRESIDENT'S INNER CIRCLE INCLUDE

副總統內部圈子裡的新感染者包括：

HIS CHIEF OF STAFF, HIS TOP OUTSIDE POLITICAL ADVISER, AND

他的幕僚長，他的最高外部政治顧問，以及...。

HIS "BODY MAN."

他的 "肉身人"。

BY THE WAY, "BODY MAN" IS THE AIDE WHO IS WITH THE VICE

順便說一句，"保鏢 "是和副總統在一起的助手。

PRESIDENT AT ALL TIMES, AND NOT, AS I PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT, THE

主席，而不是像我以前所想的那樣。

LEAST POPULAR MEMBER OF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.

公正聯盟中最不受歡迎的成員：

IRONICALLY, PENCE IS THE HEAD OF THE CORONAVIRUS TASK FORCE.

諷刺的是，彭斯是冠狀病毒特遣部隊的負責人。

THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT FIRE SAFETY P.S.A.

這讓我想起了那個消防安全計劃。

>> ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES 'CAUSE I'VE STOPPED

>> 只有你能防止森林火災 因為我已經停止了

TRYIN'!

嘗試'！

( HYSTERICAL LAUGHING ) >> STEPHEN: SO FAR, PENCE HAS

到目前為止，彭斯已經

NOT TESTED POSITIVE, BUT THE C.D.C. RECOMMENDS PEOPLE STAY

沒有經過積極的測試，但疾控中心建議人們留在這裡。

HOME FOR 14 DAYS FOLLOWING POSSIBLE EXPOSURE.

在可能的暴露後的14天內回家。

BUT PENCE IS GOING TO KEEP CAMPAIGNING ANYWAY.

但彭斯還是會繼續競選的。

THE WHITE HOUSE JUSTIFIES IT BY CLAIMING PENCE IS AN ESSENTIAL

白宮稱彭斯是一個重要因素，從而證明了這一點。

WORKER.

工作者：

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

你在說什麼？

HE'S VICE PRESIDENT.

他是副主席。

AT BEST, HE IS VICE ESSENTIAL.

最多，他是副重要的。

HE'S AMERICA'S SPARE TIRE.

他是美國的備用輪胎。

YOU WANT HIM IN YOUR TRUNK, BUT YOU HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE

你想讓他在你的車箱裡，但你希望你永遠不會用到他。

HIM.

他：

F.D.R.'S VICE PRESIDENT, JOHN NANCE GARNER, WHO YOU NEVER

F.D.R.S.副主席，約翰-南斯-加納，你從未見過他。

HEARD OF BECAUSE HE WAS VICE PRESIDENT, ONCE SAID, "THE VICE

因為他是副主席，所以他曾經說過："副主席"。

PRESIDENCY IS NOT WORTH A BUCKET OF WARM SPIT."

"總統不值得一袋熱唾沫。"

A BUCKET OF WARM SPIT IS I'M GUESSING WHAT PENCE GETS WHEN HE

一桶溫熱的口水是我猜測彭斯在他身上得到了什麼

ORDERS SOUP IN A RESTAURANT.

在餐館裡點了湯汁。

TRUMP ISN'T LETTING THE COVID SURGE STOP HIM FROM CAMPAIGNING.

特朗普沒有讓科維德激增阻止他的競選活動。

BETWEEN FRIDAY AND TODAY, HE HELD 11 CAMPAIGN EVENTS--

從週五到今天，他舉行了11次競選活動--------。

INCLUDING NINE RALLIES-- IN SEVEN STATES: FLORIDA, NORTH

包括九次集會 -- 在七個州。佛羅里達州，北部

CAROLINA, WISCONSIN, OHIO NEW HAMPSHIRE, MAINE, AND

加利福尼亞州、威斯康星州、俄亥俄州、新罕布什爾州、緬因州、以及。

PENNSYLVANIA, OR AS HISTORIANS WILL CALL THEM, "THE CORONA

賓夕法尼亞州，或者歷史學家會稱其為 "科羅納"。

BELT."

腰帶。"

HE SPENT THE WEEKEND BLAMING THE PANDEMIC ON THE MEDIA.

他花了週末的時間責怪媒體上的泛濫。

>> THEY PROLONGED THE PANDEMIC.

>> 他們延長了潘多拉的時間。

THAT'S ALL I HEAR ABOUT NOW.

這就是我現在聽到的。

THAT'S ALL I HEAR.

這就是我聽到的。

TURN ON TELEVISION, COVID, COVID, COVID, COVID, COVID,

打開電視，COVID，COVID，COVID，COVID。

COVID.

COVID：

ON NOVEMBER 4th, YOU WON'T HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

11月4日，你不會再聽到這個消息了。

>> Stephen: I WON'T, BECAUSE I WILL BE HUNG OVER.

>> Stephen:我不會的，因為我會被吊死的。

BUT TRUMP DIDN'T JUST RAIL ON THE MEDIA FOR TALKING ABOUT

但是，特朗普並不只是抨擊媒體談論的是

COVID, HE ALSO BLAMED THEM FOR HOW THEY TALK ABOUT ALL THE

科維德，他還責怪他們如何談論所有的。

NEW CASES: >> YOU USE THE WORD CASE BECAUSE

新案例:>> 你使用 "CASE "這個詞，是因為

YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE PEOPLE.

你想嚇唬人。

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE.

不要嚇唬人。

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE.

不要嚇唬人。

THE FACT IS THAT WE'RE DOING VERY WELL.

事實是，我們做得非常好。

NOW, THE GOOD NEWS IS WE KNOW WHERE IT MAY BE.

現在，好消息是我們知道它可能在哪裡。

THE BAD NEWS IS, ANYTIME YOU TEST, YOU'RE GOING TO COME UP

壞消息是，每次測試，你都會被發現

WITH CASES.

與案例：

>> STEPHEN: SO, THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE KNOW WHERE IT IS.

>> 所以，好消息是，我們知道它在哪裡。

THE BAD NEWS IS: EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK.

壞消息是：無論你在哪裡尋找。

BUT AS UNIMPORTANT AS HE SAYS THIS PLAGUE IS, TRUMP ASSURED

但是，正如他所說的那樣，這場災難並不重要，但特朗普保證說

HIS SUPPORTERS THAT HE'S THE ONLY GUY TO HANDLE IT:

他的支持者認為他是唯一能處理這件事的人。

>> WE UNDERSTAND THE DISEASE.

>> 我們理解這種疾病。

I UNDERSTAND IT BETTER THAN YOU.

我比你更瞭解它。

I HAD IT.

我有它。

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, RIGHT?

這到底是怎麼一回事，對吧？

"SIR, YOU'VE TESTED POSITIVE."

"先生，你的測試結果是陽性"

I SAID, "TESTED POSITIVE FOR WHAT?"

我說，"測試陽性什麼？"

>> STEPHEN: HOW MANY THINGS DOES HE GET

>> 他能得到多少東西？

TESTED FOR?

測試對象？

(AS TRUMP) "TESTED POSITIVE FOR WHAT?

(如特朗普) "什麼測試呈陽性?

THE CLAP?

啪啪啪？

THE HERPS?

皰疹？

WHICH HEPATITIS DO I HAVE THIS TIME?

這次我得的是哪種肝病？

A, C-- I HOPE IT'S DOUBLE D'S."

A, C -- 我希望是雙D'S."

IT WASN'T ALL COVID.

這不是所有的COVID。

TRUMP ALSO TALKED ABOUT THE ELECTION AND TRIED TO APPEAL TO

特朗普也談到了選舉，並試圖說服他們。

AN IMPORTANT VOTING BLOCK: SENIORS.

一個重要的投票區塊：老年人。

>> BIDEN'S PLAN WOULD MEAN AMERICA'S SENIORS HAVE NO AIR

>> 比登的計劃將意味著美國老年人沒有空氣。

CONDITIONING DURING THE SUMMER.

在夏季進行調理。

NO HEAT DURING THE WINTER.

冬天沒有暖氣。

AND NO ELECTRICITY DURING PEAK HOURS.

而且在高峰期沒有電力供應。

IT'S TRUE.

這是真的。

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE STUFF UP TO

>> 好吧，如果你只是想編造一些東西給我的話

SCARE THE OLDSTERS, WHY STOP THERE?

嚇唬那些老傢伙，為什麼要停在這裡？

NO HEAT, NO A.C., BIDEN'S GOING TO PIERCE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER'S

沒有暖氣，沒有空調，比登要去刺穿你的孫女的。

NOSE, HE'S GONNA CANCEL "WHEEL OF FORTUNE," HE'S GOING TO

鼻子，他要取消 "財富之輪 "了，他要去了。

OUTLAW THE CROCHETED THINGS YOU PUT OVER THE TOILET PAPER.

取締你放在餐巾紙上的鉤針織物。

THE TOILETTE PAPER IS GOING TO BE NAKED AND CATCH A COLD!

廁紙要脫光了，要感冒了!

IN ALAN HE HAD A CAMPAIGN PROMISE.

在阿蘭，他有一個競選承諾。

>> I'D LOVE TO JUST DRIVE OUT OF HERE.

>> 我想開車離開這裡。

JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS.

只是得到了地獄了這一點。

I HAD SUCH A GOOD LIFE.

我有一個很好的生活。

MY LIFE WAS GREAT.

我的生活是偉大的。

>> Stephen: MR. PRESIDENT, I THINK I SPEAK FOR MANY AMERICANS

>> 史蒂芬：先生。主席，我想我能代表很多美國人說話。

WHEN I SAY GET THE TRUCK OUT OF HERE.

當我說讓卡車離開這裡的時候，

HEY!

嘿！

HALLOWEEN'S COMING UP.

萬聖節就要到了。

LET'S TALK ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

讓我們來談談聖誕節。

THANKS TO A REPORT IN THE "WALL STREET JOURNAL," WE'VE JUST

由於 "華爾街日報 "的報道，我們已經

LEARNED THAT THE WHITE HOUSE WANTED TO GIVE EARLY COVID

獲悉白宮想提前給他們發證。

VACCINES TO MALL SANTAS.

疫苗到MALL SANTAS。

WELL, MALL SANTAS DO HAVE DANGEROUS COMORBIDITIES LIKE

好吧，MALL SANTAS確實有危險的商業活動，如

CHERRY NOSE AND BOWL-FULL-OF-JELLY BELLY.

櫻桃的鼻子和滿滿一碗果凍的肚子。

AND, UH, ALCOHOLISM.

而且，呃，酒精中毒。

( LAUGHTER ) KNOWING THE LAUGH OF A WOMAN

（笑）知道一個女人的笑。

WHO'S TAKEN CHILDREN TO A MALL SANTA BEFORE.

誰帶孩子去商場聖誕老人之前。

APPARENTLY, THE SANTAS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PART OF A SERIES

顯然，桑塔斯家族應該是一個系列的一部分。

OF PRO-TRUMP COVID RESPONSE P.S.A.'S THAT WERE GONNA COST

支持特朗普的人提供了迴應P.S.A.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.

$250 MILLION IN TAXPAYERS MONEY THAT CONGRESS HAD PREVIOUSLY

2.5億美元的納稅人的錢，國會之前已經有了。

APPROPRIATED TO THE C.D.C.

撥付給C.D.C.的款項。

DON'T WORRY, TRUMP'S GOING TO PAY BACK THAT QUARTER BILLION IN

別擔心，特朗普會把那四分之一的錢還給你的。

HIS OWN TAXES.

他自己的稅。

WHICH WOULD TAKE...

這將採取... ...

LET'S SEE, $750 PER YEAR, $250 MILLION, HE'LL PAY THAT

讓我們看看，每年7.5億，2.5億，他會付給你的

BACK IN...

回到...

BACK IN...

回到...

( CALCULATING CLICKING SOUNDS ) NEVER.

（計算點擊聲音）從來沒有。

( LAUGHTER ) TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT.

（笑）完全值得等待。

TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT.

完全值得等待。

THAT DOESN'T GET CUT.

這沒有得到削減。

THAT STAYS IN.

那留在。

I DON'T CARE HOW LONG WE GO.

我不在乎我們要走多久。

CUT SACHA BARON COHEN, THAT JOKE STAYS IN.

切薩沙-巴倫-科恩，這個笑話一直在。

( LAUGHTER ) THESE PRO-TRUMP PROPAGANDISTS

這些親特朗普的宣傳者。

PUT TOGETHER A LIST OF 30 BIG NAME CELEBRITIES WHO WOULD GO ON

把30位大牌明星的名單放在一起，他們會繼續下去。

CAMERA TO SAY HOW GREAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING, AND

攝影機說如何偉大的一切都在進行中，和

EVERYONE SHOULD JUST CHEER UP.

每個人都應該振作起來。

THE WISH LIST INCLUDING TAYLOR SWIFT, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

包括TAYLOR SWIFT、JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE在內的願望清單。

LADY GAGA, BILLY JOEL, BRITNEY SPEARS, BRUNO MARS, BON JOVI,

LADY GAGA, BILLY JOEL, BRITNEY SPEARS, BRUNO MARS, BON JOVI,

AND MADONNA, BUT THEY ONLY MANAGED TO RECRUIT DENNIS QUAID,

還有MADONNA，但他們只設法招募了Dennis QUAID。

CECE WINANS, AND HASIDIC SINGER SHOOLEM LEMMER.

CECE WINANS，和HASIDIC歌手SHOOLEM LEMMER。

WHICH IS KIND OF LIKE WHEN YOU ASK FOR AN XBOX FOR YOUR

這有點像當你要求為你的XBOX

BIRTHDAY, BUT INSTEAD YOU GET HASIDIC SINGER SHOOLEM LEMMER.

生日，但你得到哈西德歌手SHOOLEM LEMMER。

I'M SURE HE'S VERY TALONED.

我敢肯定，他很會說話。

DENNIS QUAID LATER DROPPED OUT.

丹尼斯-奎德後來退出了。

RANDY QUAID'S STILL AVAILABLE.

RANDY QUAID'S STILL AVAILABLE。

SO, IT LOOKED LIKE THE P.S.A.'S WERE GOING TO HAVE TO BE A

所以，看起來P.S.A.s.s.將不得不成為一個。

LITTLE LESS CELEBRITY-FOCUSED.

少了些許名人的關注。

THAT'S WHERE THE SANTAS COME IN.

這就是桑塔斯進來的地方。

THE ADMINISTRATION WANTED THE SANTAS TO APPEAR AT REGIONAL

行政當局希望桑塔斯夫婦出席地區會議

EVENTS PROMOTING THE TRUMP VACCINE PROGRAM, AND FEATURING

推廣特朗普疫苗計劃的活動，並邀請了以下人士出席

"BEAUTIFUL EDUCATIONAL FILMS."

"美麗的教育電影。"

(AS TRUMP) "BEAUTIFUL EDUCATIONAL FILMS.

(作為特朗普) "美麗的教育電影。

SANTA COMES HOME FROM WORK EARLY TO FIND MRS. CLAUS MAKING MORE

聖誕老人早早下班回家，發現夫人。CLAUS MAKING MORE

THAN RUDOLPH'S NOSE RED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

比魯道夫的鼻子更紅，如果你知道我在說什麼？

TASTEFUL, BUT KIDS GOTTA LEARN SOMEHOW."

美味，但孩子們必須學會一些方法。"

THE ORGANIZER OF THIS WHOLE THING WAS DISGRACED H.H.S.

這件事的組織者是不滿的H.H.S.。

SPOKESPERSON AND MAN PREPARED TO ANTE UP FOR THIS GAME OF STRIP

舌尖上的男人和男人準備好了這場脫衣舞的遊戲。

POKER, MICHAEL CAPUTO.

波克，邁克爾-卡布託。

WE'RE FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS PLAN THANKS TO RIC ERWIN, THE

我們發現了這個計劃，這要歸功於RIC ERWIN，他是一個很好的人。

CHAIRMAN OF, AND THIS IS THEIR ACTUAL NAME, THE FRATERNAL ORDER

主席，這是他們的真名，是正式命令。

OF REAL BEARDED SANTAS.

真正的大鬍子桑塔斯。

OH, YEAH.

哦，是的。

IT'S A TOUGH GANG.

這是一個艱難的團伙。

YOU KNOW THE RULE: "NOG IN, NOG OUT.

你知道規則："NOG IN, NOG OUT.

SNITCHES GET BLITZEN."

SNITCHES得到BLITZEN。"

ERWIN RECORDED HIS CALL WITH CAPUTO, AND ON THE TAPE, CAPUTO

ERWIN錄下了他與CAPUTO的通話，在錄音帶上，CAPUTO...

OFFERED THE SANTA PERFORMERS EARLY VACCINE ACCESS AHEAD OF

提供給SANTA PERFORMERS的早期疫苗使用權。

THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

一般公眾：

TO WHICH ERWIN REPLIED, "SINCE YOU WOULD BE DOING SANTA A

ERWIN回答說："既然你要做SANTA A，那就做吧。

SERIOUS FAVOR, SANTA WOULD DEFINITELY RECIPROCATE."

認真的寵愛，聖誕老人肯定會報復。"

A CLEAR CASE OF QUID-PRO-HO-HO-HO!

一個明確的案例，QUID-PRO-HOO-HOO！

( LAUGHTER ) THAT JOKE FROM LITTLE RICHIE

小李子的那個笑話。

DOM.

DOM。

AGE EIGHT.

八歲。

THANKS, RICHIE.

謝謝你，裡奇。

CAPUTO TOLD ERWIN WHY THE SANTAS WERE FIRST IN LINE FOR THE

CAPUTO告訴ERWIN，為什麼SANTAS WERE第一線的原因。

VACCINE: "IF YOU AND YOUR COLLEAGUES ARE

疫苗："如果你和你的同事們都是。

NOT ESSENTIAL WORKERS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS,"

不是必要的工人，我不知道什麼是"。

OKAY, SO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

好吧，所以你不知道什麼是。

"SORRY, TEACHERS AND NURSES.

"對不起，老師和護士，