I'm great, man.

我很好，夥計。

Things are,

事情是。

you were great,

你是偉大的。

you're doing, it's just amazing,

你在做什麼，這只是驚人的。

first of all.

首先：

And I'm blown away

我被震撼了

by what's happened to me this summer's just been incredible.

這個夏天發生在我身上的事情太不可思議了。

Yeah, and I don't want to embarrass you,

是啊，我也不想讓你難堪。

but that's part of my job.

但這是我工作的一部分。

You made this deal,

你做了這個交易。

everybody's been talking about,

每個人都在談論。

and no one deserves this more than you.

沒有人比你更應該得到這個。

Sometimes people in show business make these deals,

有時候演藝圈的人都會做這種交易。

and you think, that scum.

你覺得，那個人渣。

But uh.

但是...

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Erik Estrada, what!?

埃裡克-埃斯特拉達，什麼？

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I'm after Estrada,

我在找Estrada

he's getting away with murder.

他正在逃脫謀殺。

But no, but you made this deal

但是沒有，但是你做了這個交易

Comedy central,

喜劇中心。

huge deal, $50 million deal.

巨大的交易，5000萬美元的交易。

Everybody's talking about it.

每個人都在談論它。

What are you gonna do with that money?

你打算用這些錢做什麼？

How has this changed your life?

這對你的生活有什麼改變？

Nothing's changed, man.

什麼都沒變，夥計。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I spent a 100 grand on leather pants.

我花了十萬塊錢買皮褲。

(laughing)

（笑）

But you were probably doing that before.

但你以前可能也是這樣做的。

I mean, yeah, it's all the same.

我的意思是，是的，都是一樣的。

I've been giraffe shopping with the Jacksons.

我和傑克遜夫婦一起去買長頸鹿了。

(laughing)

（笑）

But other than that, it's just the usual stuff.

但除此之外，就是平常的事情了。

It's just that my old friends aren't into giraffes

只是我的老朋友不喜歡長頸鹿而已

like I am now.

像我現在這樣。

Right?

對吧？

They can't keep up with me.

他們跟不上我的腳步。

They can't keep up with you.

他們跟不上你的腳步

It's just a difference.

這只是一個區別。

What about offers to do movies?

那提出拍電影呢？

I know you've done movie work before,

我知道你以前做過電影工作。

but now you're this hot.

但現在你是這個熱。

The phone's gotta be ringing off the hook.

電話一定是響了起來，脫鉤。

It's funny, because before

這很有趣，因為之前

I wasn't getting any movie offers and now they,

我沒有得到任何電影邀請，現在他們。

I get a lot of offers for like bad movies.

我得到了很多的報價，比如說爛片。

Like those, those are the planet of the apes type roles.

像那些，都是人猿星球類型的角色。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

You saw that movie Planet of the Apes,

你看過那部電影《人猿星球》吧？

with Mark Wahlberg.

與馬克-沃爾伯格。

The remake, yeah.

重拍版，是的。

Well, yeah, they're both racist to me, man.

嗯，是的，他們都是種族主義者，夥計。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

The first one was like,

第一個就像。

just get your damn dirty ape hands off me.

只是讓你的該死的骯髒的猿手離開我。

I'm like, aw, come on, what are you really talking about?

我很喜歡，AW，來吧，你到底在說什麼？

(laughing)

（笑）

And then I seen the new one,

然後我看到了新的。

I'm thinking this is a more progressive time,

我想這是一個比較進步的時代。

this will not be as racist.

這將不會是種族主義。

And then they had, the apes was sitting at dinner,

然後，他們有，猿是坐在晚餐。

I'm not even making this up,

我不是在瞎編。

they was eating watermelon.

他們在吃西瓜。

I was like, aw, come on now.

我當時想，AW，來吧，現在。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

So the apes is eating watermelon?

所以猿人是吃西瓜的？

And then like, later on in the movie,

然後像，後來在電影中。

they running from the apes

他們從猿人那裡逃出來

and like, "Run the water, 'cause the apes can't swim."

並且喜歡，"跑水， 因為猿不會游泳。"

(laughing)

（笑）

Which is like awkward,

這就像尷尬。

because see these apes can talk and,

因為這些猩猩會說話

but they can't swim.

但他們不會游泳。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

And then uh, at the end, it's like,

然後，呃，在最後，它的樣子，

when I seen the ape smoking a Newport,

當我看到猩猩抽著紐波特煙的時候，

I just got up and walked out.

我只是起身走了出去。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

It was outrageous.

這真是太離譜了。

Yeah you're right.

是的，你是對的。

That's not good.

這不是很好。

That's another thing that's changed

這也是另一個改變的地方

since I made all this money.

既然我賺了這麼多錢

I stopped smoking uh, menthol.

我不抽了，呃，薄荷醇。

There you go.

這就對了

I didn't stop smoking,

我沒有停止吸菸。

but I don't smoke anything that they market to black people.

但我不抽他們賣給黑人的任何東西。

Really?

真的嗎？

That's where the poison is,

這就是毒藥的所在。

as far as I'm concerned.

據我所知。

I can't make it that easy, baby.

我不能讓它那麼容易，寶貝。

I keep 'em confused.

我把他們搞糊塗了

I'll smoke stuff like Virginia Slims.

我會抽像弗吉尼亞斯利姆這樣的東西。

I look at the box, like,

我看著盒子，喜歡。

nobody's gonna hurt this white woman.

沒有人會傷害這個白人女人。

Gimme two packs of these.

給我兩包這個。

Virginia Slims.

弗吉尼亞斯利姆斯。

(applause)

(掌聲)

That's not right.

這是不對的。

Smoking is bad, everybody.

吸菸是不好的，每個人。

Kids, if you're watching, don't smoke.

孩子們，如果你們在看，不要抽菸。

But it's pretty funny to talk about.

不過說起來也挺有意思的。

Yeah.

是啊。

Now uh,

現在..,

I don't wanna pry, but uh,

我不想打聽，但是... ..,

I'm gonna take a shot at this,

我想試試這個。

who you gonna vote for in the election?

你在選舉中會投給誰？

You know what's funny, I was really into Kerry,

你知道什麼是有趣的，我真的很喜歡克里。

then when I got all this money

然後當我拿到這些錢的時候

now Bush's looking a little better

現在布什看起來好多了

now that I got this money, man.

現在，我得到了這筆錢，男人。

(applause)

(掌聲)

I'm torn.

我很糾結

It changes.

它的變化。

I mean, I'm black, yet I'm rich now,

我是說，我是黑人，但我現在很有錢。

so I just I got all the feelings I have inside of now.

所以，我只是我得到了所有的感覺 我現在裡面。

Oh!!

哦！

What are you gonna do?

你打算怎麼做？

Which one of these white people gone take care of?

這些白種人走了哪一個人照顧？

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

You're gonna be in that voting booth.

你會在那個投票亭。

Forget Virginia Slims.

忘掉弗吉尼亞史林斯吧。

Thinking about it.

正在考慮。

In my leather pants and ascot.

穿著我的皮褲和領帶。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Giraffe's gonna lean in, "Hurry up!"

長頸鹿會靠過來，"快點！"

(laughing)

（笑）

"Let's go."

"我們走吧。"

Now, are you gonna be a charitable person now?

現在，你要做個慈善家了嗎？

And maybe you were before,

也許你以前是。

but you think you're gonna try

但你認為你會嘗試

and help the people around you?

並幫助身邊的人？

Well, since I've joined the Republican party, no.

自從我加入了共和黨，就沒有了。

I'm not.

我沒有

They'll take care of themselves.

他們會照顧好自己的。

Nah, man, I'm, I,

不，夥計，我，我。

yeah, I'm pretty charitable.

是的，我很慈善。

There was, matter of fact,

事實上，有。

there was a guy they used to live in front,

有一個人，他們曾經住在前面。

and he wasn't even,

而他甚至沒有。

I shouldn't say lives, he was homeless, obviously homeless,

我不應該說是生活，他是無家可歸，顯然是無家可歸。

He's staying in front of my apartment.

他就住在我的公寓前。

And one night I was coming home from shooting late,

有一天晚上，我拍完戲很晚才回家。

and I saw him,

我看到了他。

was cold out, he's shivering.

外面很冷，他在發抖。

So, I just gave him $20.

所以，我就給了他20塊錢。

Which is something I didn't think about.

這是我沒有想到的。

Just get something to eat, man, whatever.

只是得到的東西吃，男人，不管。

And he was so grateful.

而他卻非常感激。

I'll never forget.

我永遠不會忘記。

He was just like, thank you, brother,

他只是想，謝謝你，兄弟。

this means a lot.

這意味著很多。

I'll never forget you.

我永遠不會忘記你。

And people say that all the time.

人們總是這樣說。

This guy never forgot.

這傢伙從來沒有忘記。

As a matter of fact,

事實上

he came to my house every day after that,

之後，他每天都來我家。

knocking on the door.

敲門。

He's like "Come on, man, I just need some money,

他說 "別這樣，夥計，我只是需要一些錢。

I could get something to eat."

我可以弄點吃的。"

And then he's shivering,

然後他在發抖。

and I'm like come on dog, it's July, for real?

我想來吧，狗，它的七月，是真的嗎？

What you, what you want?

你，你想要什麼？

He's like, I'm hungry.

他的樣子，我餓了。

He's like, I'm hungry please, I'm hungry, please.

他就像，我餓了，請，我餓了，請。

So he's hungry.

所以他餓了。

I'm not gone turn away a hungry person.

我不會拒絕一個飢餓的人。

And I'm like, well, what,

我想，嗯，什麼。

what are you trying to eat?

你想吃什麼？

He was like, what?

他當時想，什麼？

Uh, a burger, I need a burger.

呃，一個漢堡，我需要一個漢堡。

But I'm like, I need more information.

但我想，我需要更多的資訊。

Do you want cheese on it?

要不要放奶酪？

Do you want fries?

你想吃薯條嗎？

Different burgers, cost different amounts, right?

不同的漢堡，成本不同吧？

I need to know how much money to give you.

我需要知道該給你多少錢。

He's like I want some crack, okay!?

他就像我想要一些裂縫，好嗎！？

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I want some crack!!

我想要一些裂縫！

Maybe some fries too, but, mostly crack.

也許也會有一些薯條，但是，主要是裂縫。

You were wasting the guy's time.

你在浪費他的時間。

He had business to do.

他有生意要做。

I felt bad, but then I'd see him,

我感覺很糟，但我還是會見到他。

and I try to like encourage him.

我試著去鼓勵他

Like, when I'm coming out,

比如，當我出來的時候。

like you can beat that crack

就像你能打敗那裂縫

And I guess that's like an annoying thing to say

我想這就像一個惱人的事情說

to a crack addict,

到裂縫成癮者。

'cause he was just like, "Hahaha, all right!"

"因為他只是想，"哈哈哈，好吧！"

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

"Easier said than done, thank you very much,

"說起來容易做起來難，非常感謝你。

for that encouraging word."

為這句鼓勵的話。"

Until you mentioned it,

直到你提到它。

it never occurred to me.

我從沒想過

Now, I can't believe this,

現在，我不能相信這一點。

but you were invited to go to the Republican Convention.

但你被邀請去參加共和黨大會。

That's true?

是真的嗎？

Well not no, kinda, what happened was,

嗯，不是沒有，有點，發生的是。

I was doing that Anderson Cooper show.

我在做安德森・庫珀的節目

Right.

好吧，我知道了

So, Anderson was tied up with the convention.

所以，安德森被大會束之高閣。

He was like,

他很喜歡。

"Can we come interview you on the floor,

"我們能不能來現場採訪你。

at the Republican Convention?"

在共和黨大會上？"

Which is too much attention for me.

這對我來說太引人注意了。

I mean, any black dude

我是說，任何一個黑人

that walks in there, is gonna have a million cameras on.

走在那裡，是要去 有一百萬相機上。

If Big Foot walked in at the same time,

如果大腳同時走進來。

they'd be like, "Big Foot's over,

他們會喜歡，"大腳的結束，

Dave Chappelle!!!"

戴夫-查佩爾！！！"

(Conan laughing)

（柯南笑）

Big foot is taking a seat with the Colorado Delegation.

大腳在科羅拉多州代表團坐鎮。

Dave Chappelle, is a black person at the convention!

戴夫-查培爾，是大會上的一個黑人!

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Now how are your, and again, this is about your life,

現在你的，又是關於你的生活。

but I know you got, you got two boys?

但我知道你有，你有兩個兒子？

Yeah, man.

是啊，夥計。

These guys.

這些傢伙。

Yeah, yeah, you act like I just reminded you.

是啊，是啊，你就像我剛剛提醒你一樣。

(laughing)

（笑）

Yeah, no, man!

是啊，不，夥計！

Those guys, man.

這些傢伙，男人。

I hope y'all are watching,

我希望你們都在看。

y'all should be asleep.

你們都應該睡覺。

But uh.

但是...

How are they?

他們怎麼樣？

How are they doing?

他們怎麼樣了？

They're great.

他們是偉大的。

My oldest son just finished his first year of school.

我的大兒子剛上完初一。

If you wanna call it school.

如果你想叫它學校。

I mean, he's like four.

我是說，他才四歲

So, I don't even know what they're learning.

所以，我都不知道他們在學什麼。

I went to one (chuckles),

我去了一個（笑）。

you know those parent teacher conferences.

你知道那些家長教師會議。

Which I was nervous.

我很緊張

Cause if they say anything less than he's incredible,

因為如果他們說的比他少，他就是不可思議的。

then I'll be, I'll get mad.

那我就會，我就會生氣。

So uh, but she was like,

所以，呃，但她很喜歡，

giving me his report card like,

給我他的成績單一樣，

running is great.

跑步是偉大的。

His jumping is incredible.

他的跳動是不可思議的。

She goes through all the litany she goes,

她走的時候，都要經過所有的禮儀。

"But um, he needs to learn how to use his words more."

"不過，嗯，他需要多學學怎麼用詞。"

So I'm like, what does that mean,

所以我想，這是什麼意思。

use his words?

用他的話？

She said, "Well, like at nap time,

她說："嗯，比如午睡的時候。

if someone's sleeping on his mat, he should come tell me,

如果有人睡在他的墊子上，他應該來告訴我。

and not kick that person."

而不是踢那個人。"

(laughing)

（笑）

But it was like what you think I'm raising, a snitch?

但這就像你認為我養的是什麼，是告密者嗎？

Kick 'em, Son.

踢他們，兒子。

(laughing)

（笑）

I'm trying to get 'em to keep it real.

我想讓他們保持真實。

Keep it real!

保持真實！

Yeah man, I don't want no son to come telling

是啊，我可不想讓兒子來告訴我

everybody does something.

每個人都會做一些事情。

Just kick 'em.

只要踢他們。

Kick 'em.

踢他們。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

Kick 'em hard!

用力踢！

He'll move, he'll move.

他會動的，他會動的。

(laughing)

（笑）

All right, well, Dave Chappelle,

好了，好了，戴夫・查派爾。

For What It's Worth premieres Saturday night at nine

《物有所值》週六晚九點首映。

on a Showtime, and you know what?

在Showtime上，你知道嗎？

No one deserves all the success.

沒有人應該得到所有的成功。

Man, I appreciate it.

夥計，我很感激。

More than this guy right here.