It's me, Conan O'Brien, here to talk to you about voting.

是我，柯南・奧布萊恩，來和你談談投票的問題。

Even though 98% of my fans can't go to the polls

雖然我98%的粉絲不能去投票

because they're either preteens or convicted felons,

因為他們要麼是未成年，要麼是被定罪的重刑犯。

that won't stop me from addressing you,

這不會阻止我對你的稱呼。

the voters of Florida.

佛羅里達州的選民。

Once again, you're playing a crucial role

你又一次扮演了重要的角色。

in picking our president,

在選擇我們的總統。

so whatever you do, don't forget to vote.

所以不管你做什麼，別忘了投票。

Forgetting to vote would be like

忘記投票就像

going into a Publix supermarket

進Publix超市

to order the Boar's Head Maple Honey Turkey Sub

訂購野豬頭楓蜜火雞三明治

with Saint Andre soft-ripened cheese

搭配聖安德烈軟熟奶酪

and then forgetting the mayonnaise.

然後忘記了蛋黃醬。

Or like forgetting you retired

或者是忘記自己已經退休了

and moved to Brookville, Florida

並搬到佛羅里達州的布魯克維爾

to play golf at the fabled Pine Barrens golf course,

在傳說中的Pine Barrens高爾夫球場打高爾夫。

but instead decided to play quarterback

但卻決定打四分衛

for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

為坦帕灣海盜隊。

And if you're gonna vote by mail, vote early

如果你要通過郵件投票，請儘早投票。

because this year the Postal Service may be slower

因為今年郵政局可能會比較慢。

than a senior on the Dale Mabry Highway

比戴爾-馬布裡公路上的高年級學生還多。

who just realized they missed the turn off

才發現自己錯過了關機時間

for the Courtney Campbell bridge to Clearwater.

為考特尼-坎貝爾橋到清水鎮。

(laughs) Yes.

（笑）是的。

I know my Florida.

我知道我的佛羅里達州。