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  • you've finally done it your greatest desire.


  • Your lifelong dream has finally come to fruition.


  • You've gotten yourself a job, but pausing three company that owns the iconic Garfield Comics.


  • That's right.


  • It's your job to make sure that America's favorite lazy orange cat still reaches his adoring fans every single day.

    你的工作就是確保美國人最喜歡的懶橘子貓 每天都能接觸到他的忠實粉絲。

  • But before you get too excited, being this close to the process behind Garfield's creation puts you squarely in the sights of SCP 31 66.

    但在你太興奮之前,如此接近加菲貓創作背後的過程,讓你正視SCP 31 66。

  • Because here's the thing.


  • While Garfield has always been an iconic piece of American pop culture since Jim Davis created him in 1976 his popularity and profitability really aren't what they used to be.


  • And that's exactly when you, as a Garfield loving intern, are in the most danger.


  • That's because SCP 31 66 is a nightmarish pad, a physical entity that manifests and stocks people involved in the Garfield media empire whenever the franchises, in doing so well in the public eye.

    這是因為SCP 31 66是一個噩夢般的墊子,是一個實體,體現和股票的人参與加菲貓傳媒帝國,每當加盟,在做這麼好的在公眾面前。

  • And that's why you are in terrible danger, because when SCP 31 66 kids it's hands on you, you're in for a pretty terrible death.

    這就是為什麼你會有很大的危險 因為當SCP31 -66的孩子們對你動手時 你會有很可怕的死法

  • But never fear.


  • Garfield may hate Mondays, but that doesn't mean he's gonna be able to ruin yours.

    加菲爾德可能討厭星期一 但這並不意味著他會毀了你的星期一

  • We're here to give you the tips, tricks and tactics to battle the lasagna cat to the death and still come out swinging.


  • Or at least stay alive long enough for agents from the CPI Foundation to swoop in and save you.


  • Welcome, Thio.


  • You versus SCP 31 66.

    你對SCP 31 66。

  • You know the drill around here, folks, you can't fight what you can't understand.


  • While this huge orange monster might be reminiscent of your favorite lethargic feline.


  • If you underestimated, you're liable to be found pounded to a pulp or choking on a mouthful of cold pasta at face value, the creature seems to be an extremely low effort, 7 ft tall Garfield cause player with the ragged orange suit that's made from actual cat.


  • For however, this isn't so much a suit as it is the creatures actual skin, and on the inside it's lasagna all the way down.


  • The creature has no bone structure, making it basically immune to most forms of blunt force trauma.


  • Like many of the anomalous creatures dealt with by the foundation, SCB 31 66 should it logically be able to do anything that it does.

    就像基金會處理的許多異常生物一樣,SCB 31 66它應該在邏輯上能夠做到任何事情,它的做法。

  • You're dealing with a being here that does not follow the basic laws of biology.


  • And to make matters more disgusting, it's been found that the meat with an S e p 31 66 is lasagna is genetically identical to the flesh of Garfield creator Jim Davis.

    而更噁心的是,人們發現,帶有S e p 31 66的肉是千層餅,與《加菲貓》主創吉姆-戴維斯的肉體在基因上是相同的。

  • So, in a sense, this horrific orange abomination is a child of Mr Davis.


  • Much like the original, Garfield was his brainchild.


  • Why is all this relevant to a combat situation involving SCP 31 66?

    為什麼這些都與涉及SCP 31 66的戰鬥情況有關?

  • Allow us to school you in a little combat one a one A real fight has never a purely logical affair.


  • And oftentimes, in the heat of the moment, good situational awareness and psychological preparation will win out over a solid battle plan.


  • When you see this towering Garfield esque nightmare shambling towards you in the dark, your first reaction is gonna be fear.

    當你看到這個高大的加菲貓式的噩夢 在黑暗中向你走來時 你的第一反應是害怕。

  • You've never seen anything like this.


  • You might even freeze while you're trying to process it all in lose valuable seconds that could be spent running away.


  • And that right there is SCP 31 66 his first advantage against you.

    這就是SCP 31 66他對你的第一個優勢。

  • It's frightening and disgusting appearance is likely to instill a sense of psychological terror, which is something you can't use back against the mindless monster.


  • Being aware of what you're dealing with in a situation like this can make all the difference between life and death.


  • However, elements of this can also work in your favor.


  • Another rule of combat is that every advantage comes with its own disadvantage and vice versa.


  • Do you know what you get when you fuse rotting pasta with riel?


  • Damn cat for one rial.


  • Nasty stink.


  • While you could make the argument that going on the stank offensive would improve its fighting chances by distracting you, it also serves as an advanced warning system for when SCP 31 66 is approaching.

    雖然你可以提出這樣的論點,即進行臭味攻勢會通過分散你的注意力來提高它的戰鬥機率,但它也可以作為SCP 31 66接近時的高級預警系統。

  • When you suddenly get a whiff of the most noxious wet cat and meat stench that you've smelled in your life, you know it's time to enter fight or flight mode.


  • But you might not always be that lucky.


  • One of the most dangerous aspects of SCP 31 66 is its ability to manifest near its targets from thin air and then d manifest when it's deadly, work is done that means it can appear right behind you at any time ready to strike.

    SCP 31 66最危險的一個方面就是它可以憑空在目標附近顯形,然後在它致命的時候d顯形,工作完成後意味著它可以隨時出現在你的身後,隨時準備攻擊。

  • So you'll need to maintain constant vigilance.


  • If you want to survive a potential encounter and prevent it from getting its big, meaty paws on you, you're probably wondering, what would a close encounter with SCP 31 66 actually look like?

    如果你想在潛在的遭遇戰中活下來,並防止它的大肉爪子抓到你身上,你可能會想知道,與SCP 31 66的近距離遭遇究竟會是什麼樣子?

  • Compared to some of the more complex and metaphysical attacks of its fellow S.


  • E.


  • P s, there's a kind of brutal but effective simplicity To SCP 31 66 is attacks its main form of offenses, grabbing a nearby heavy object and bludgeoning you to death with it all while making me allowing purring and screeching noises like an extremely agitated cat.

    P's,有一種粗暴但有效的簡單性To SCP 31 66是攻擊其主要的進攻形式,抓住附近的重物,用它把你砸死,同時讓我允許像一隻極度激動的貓一樣發出呼嚕呼嚕的尖叫聲。

  • Obviously, nobody wants to have their head bashed in with a commemorative Garfield snow globe.


  • But the most upsetting way this creature dispatches its victims is by disemboweling itself and forcing fistfuls of lasagna down You're helpless throat until you choke to death or die from overfeeding.


  • This would be a disgusting way, todo even with normal lasagna, but with Jim Davis flesh lasagna.


  • It's a special kind of torture that would make almost any other form of death, seemed preferable.


  • But don't let this frighten you, because remember, being frightened is the first step toe losing your edge.


  • Just take the threat of being beaten or force fed to death as motivation to never lose the upper hand.


  • Now that you understand what you're up against, let's talk strategies for survival and maybe even defeating this lasagna filled menace.


  • The first option is the simplest running, booking it the second you see a grim mess of orange for lumbering toward you might seem like the coward's way out, but it's better to be cowardly than dead.


  • While the creature definitely has a clear size advantage on you, it comes with a drawback of lowering its speed.


  • If you manage to spot or smell it approaching and you've been keeping up with your cardio at the gym, you can turn tail and run for it.


  • If you managed to survive for long enough on evasive tactics alone, then maybe some SCP Foundation field agents will mobilize in time and take care of the threat for you.


  • You'll probably even get some sweet Annie sticks out of the deal, so the lingering trauma of your SCP 31 66 incident won't hang over you until your dying days.

    你可能會得到一些甜美的安妮棒的交易,所以你的SCP 31 66事件的揮之不去的創傷不會掛在你,直到你死的日子。

  • However, running isn't always a luxury you can afford.


  • What if s c p 31 66 manifested in your home in the middle of the night, leaving you with nowhere to run at that point, taking the fight to him is the only option.

    如果s c p 31 66半夜在你家表現出來,讓你此時無處可逃怎麼辦,向他開戰是唯一的選擇。

  • Unless you wanna die a horrific and carby death.


  • But how do you fight a giant homicidal Garfield creature?


  • We know that you can't use blunt force trauma because the lasagna cat has no bones to break.


  • But what about bladed weapons?


  • Could you take down this creature with knives and swords?


  • The idea of going kill bill on SCP 31 66 is definitely appealing.

    在SCP 31 66上走殺法案的想法絕對是吸引人的。

  • But aside from the potential value of removing limbs to slow the creature down, this method might not be as helpful as one would hope.


  • We know the creature is able to disembowel itself in order to pull out it to Jim Davis lasagna, innards and force feed people.


  • So it stands to reason that you jumping the gun and doing the disemboweling yourself might not be an effective method of putting this thing down.


  • If blades and heavy blunt objects are ineffective weapons.


  • How about we try something a little more modern?


  • That's right.


  • We're talking firearms.


  • A few important notes.


  • SCP 31 66 has no blood and therefore the intention should not be the fatally wound and let it bleed out.

    SCP 31 66沒有血,所以不應該是致命的傷口,讓它流出來的意圖。

  • Such a thing isn't possible.


  • What you need is a gun that could do massive structural damage and maybe incapacitate, or at least slow down the creature.


  • Because of this small caliber, pistols and rifles are out.


  • Personally, we'd recommend shouldering a powerful shotgun in your battle against SCB 31 66 the kind that could comfortably splatter a leg into saucy paste and slow the monsters otherwise relentless pursuit.

    就個人而言,我們會建議你在與SCB 31 66的戰鬥中扛起一把威力強大的霰彈槍,那種槍可以輕鬆地將一條腿濺成醬糊狀,減緩怪物原本無情的追擊。

  • Also, while there's no way we can guarantee that this would really make a difference, there's rarely any harm and going for the classic headshot.


  • Even if this isn't the most effective attack in the world, splattering this thing's head all over the walls would at least be a pretty satisfying gesture.


  • If you can pump enough rounds into 31 66 to at least slowed to a crawl, you can run away at a more leisurely pace rather than a terrified Sprint, however, guns aren't always readily available or easy to access.

    如果你能在31 66中抽到足夠的子彈,至少可以慢到爬行,你可以以更悠閒的速度跑開,而不是驚恐的斯普林特,然而,槍支並不總是現成的,也不容易獲得。

  • What if you need an alternative method for bringing down this monster?


  • To quote an old Internet proverb, Kill it with fired.


  • It's a weapon that both cats and lasagna are vulnerable to provided.


  • Of course, you're not inside your own home or surrounded by flammable objects.


  • It's likely that dousing the beast in gasoline and tossing a match would reduce it to cinders.


  • And considering all the lasagna you'd be burning in the process, it might even smell a little nice.


  • Just try to forget that it's technically burning human flesh You're smelling there.


  • But what if you're really unlucky?


  • And this thing just walks out of the fire dripping with pasta and minced beef, but very much alive, kind of like an Italian Terminator?


  • Thankfully, when all other methods of keeping s C p.

    值得慶幸的是,當所有其他方法保持s C p。

  • 31 66 at bay fail, there is one failsafe maneuver for distracting this SCP that has been tried and tested by foundation personnel.

    31 66在海灣失敗時,有一種分散該SCP注意力的故障安全操作,已被基礎人員試用和測試。

  • As with many things in life, sometimes you need to look within to find the answers.


  • Except this time you're not looking within yourself.


  • You're looking within the enemy, much like the gluttonous orange cat from which it takes its form.


  • S C P 31 66 has one weakness.

    S C P 31 66有一個弱點。

  • Lasagna, since the majority of its biomass consists of the cheesy pasta staple.


  • Anytime other sources of lasagna are placed nearby, the creature cannot help but seek it out to integrate it into its own body.


  • Therefore, strategically placed distraction lasagnas air the Onley dip, dependable method of keeping the beast off your tail for long enough to ensure a speedy escape.


  • And from what we've been able to tell, the type of lasagna doesn't matter.


  • So stock up on a few dozen 99 cent microwavable lasagnas.


  • If you might just survive long enough for an SCP Foundation mobile task force to swoop in and take this entire problem off your hands.


  • Once the SCP foundations there, the anomaly will be apprehended and dispatched and you'll be given a comforting dose of them.


  • The stakes.


  • To help you forget this whole nasty event even occur, you will be able to pick up where he left off and your fabulous new job, a TPA zinc making sure America gets its daily Garfield fixed no matter what, except Now, when you see the grinning orange feel on, you can't help but feel a twitch in your eye, even though you have no idea why.


  • But I wouldn't worry about it.


  • After all.


  • What you don't know can hurt you.


  • Check out our you versus playlist for more battles with some of the strangest creatures in pop culture and subscribe to our new channel.


  • SCP explained story and animation for more fun facts from the foundation Infographic style.


you've finally done it your greatest desire.



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你與SCP-3166(你不知道自己有多孤獨,加菲貓)。 (You vs SCP-3166 (You Have No Idea How Alone You Are, Garfield))

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 10 月 25 日