>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.

>> 歡迎回來。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向先生問好。JON BATISTE.

I'M LOOKING AT HIM RIGHT NOW.

我現在就在看他。

WHY SHOULDN'T YOU GET A CHANCE TO?

為什麼不給你機會？

IT'S A PLEASANT SIGHT.

這是一個美好的景象。

>> Jon: WHAT'S THE WORD, STEPHEN?

>> 喬恩，你說什麼？什麼詞，史蒂芬？

HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

你感覺如何？

>> Stephen: I DON'T UNDERSTAND, AFTER A WEEK LIKE

>> 斯蒂芬：我不明白，經過一個星期的時間，如

THIS, YOU STILL LOOK FRESH AND I FEEL LIKE A WET SACK OF WALNUTS.

這一點，你仍然看起來很新鮮，我覺得像一袋WALNUTS。

>> Jon: YEAH, I'M FEELING IT.

>> 喬恩。是的，我感覺到了。

THAT WAS A LATE ONE, AND IT WAS A HARD ONE TO WATCH, IN MANY

這是一個遲到的，這是一個很難看的，在許多方面

RESPECTS, BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

尊重，但是，你知道嗎？

>> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen:絕對是。

SO MUCH IS HARD TO WATCH RIGHT NOW.

現在很多東西都很難看。

>> Jon: EVERYTHING IS HARD TO WATCH.

>> 喬恩。一切都很難看。

AND I HOPE THAT IT WILL BE OVER SOON.

我希望它很快就會結束。

>> Stephen: I WILL TELL YOU THIS, MY FRIEND.

>> Stephen:我會告訴你這個，我的朋友。

ON NOVEMBER 3, SOMETHING IS COMING TO AN END.

11月3日，一些事情就要結束了。

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> 喬恩。沒錯。

THAT IS A TRUE STATEMENT.

這是一個真實的聲明。

>> Stephen: SOMETHING IS COMING TO AN END ON NOVEMBER 3,

>> 史蒂芬：11月3日，有些事情就要結束了。

THE QUESTION PENNING ON THE DECISION THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

關於美國人民的決定的問題筆談。

MAKE.

使。

I HOPE THEY MAKE THE RIGHT ONE.

我希望他們能做出正確的那一個。

>> Jon: WE KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ONE IS.

>> 喬恩：我們知道什麼是正確的人。

WE NEED TO KEEP PUSHING TOWARD THAT.

我們要繼續推動這個目標的實現。

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen:這是正確的。

JON, HAVE YOU GOT ANY MUSIC COMING OUT OF YOUR FINGERS?

喬恩，你的手指上有音樂嗎？

>> Jon: ALWAYS IN THE MIND AND THE HEART AND COMING THROUGH THE

>> 喬恩：始終在腦海裡，在心裡，並通過。

FINGERS.

手指：

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.

>> Stephen:謝謝你，喬恩。

JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

JON BATISTE，每個人。

>> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW I SPEND A

>> 女士們，先生們，你們知道我花了很多時間在這裡。

LOT OF TIME SELECTING THE FINEST TOPICAL

大量的時間選擇最優質的主題。

STERLING SILVER SERVING SPOONS THE BIGGEST NEWS FONDUE POTS,

斯德林銀質餐勺最重要的新聞甜甜圈鍋。

AND MONOGRAMMED WASHCLOTHS, TO CAREFULLY CURATE THE

和單片蠟紙，以精心修剪的方式

WILLIAMS-SONOMA WEDDING REGISTRY THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

威廉姆斯-索諾瑪婚禮登記處 這是我的獨白。

BUT, SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO DIG THROUGH MY JUNK DRAWER

但是，有時候，有時候我喜歡在我的垃圾抽屜裡找找看。

AND PULL OUT A HALF-USED BOX OF STRAWS, TWO PACKETS OF EXPIRED

然後拿出一盒半舊的紙巾，兩包過期的紙巾。

GATORADE POWDER, AND A PROMOTIONAL KEY CHAIN TO CREATE

GATORADE POWDER，和促銷鑰匙鏈，以創建

THE HIGH SCHOOL MATHLETES' SECRET SANTA GIFT EXCHANGE OF

高中數學的祕密聖誕老人禮物交換會"。

NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT: "QUARANTINE-WHILE!"

新聞，是我的部門："QUARANTINE -WHILE！"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, RUMORS CONTINUE TO CIRCULATE AROUND THE

NEW AMAZON STUDIOS "LORD OF THE RINGS" SERIES.

新亞馬遜工作室 "魔戒 "系列。

AND THE LATEST IS THAT "AMAZON PLANS TO INCLUDE NUDE SCENES IN

而最新的消息是，"AMAZON計劃將裸露場景納入

THE SHOW."

節目。"

THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS.

這就是好消息。

THE BAD NEWS: IT'S NOT WHO YOU WANT IT TO BE.

壞消息：它不是你想要的人。

THEY HAVE A CAVE TROLL.

他們有機器人地下室。

THE RUMOR GOT STARTED WHEN INTERNET SLEUTHS FOUND SOME

謠言開始的時候，互聯網偵探發現了一些。

CASTING CALLS FOR THE SHOW SAYING THAT THE FILMMAKERS "NEED

節目的選角要求說，電影製作人 "需要"。

NUDE PEOPLE BASED IN AUCKLAND."

NUDE PEOPLE BASED IN AUCKLAND。"

OKAY, THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE THEY NEED ACTORS WHO ARE WILLING

好吧，這聽起來不像是他們需要有意願的演員。

TO BE NUDE, IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY WANT PEOPLE WHO ARE CURRENTLY

說得難聽點，這聽起來像是他們要找那些目前正處於

NUDE.

NUDE。

SO, TOUGH BREAK FOR ALL YOU CLOTHED ACTORS OUT THERE, BUT

所以，辛苦了你們這些穿衣服的演員，但是... ...

GREAT NEWS FOR CREEPY PAUL.

CREEPY PAUL的好消息。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, WE HERE AT "MEANWHILE INTERACTIVE SYNERGY

AND DISRUPTION CONSULTANCY PARTNERS L.L.C." SOMETIMES

擾亂諮詢公司 "SOMTIME

ACQUIRE SO MANY FOOD RELATED STORIES, WE COLLECT THEM IN OUR

獲取這麼多的食品相關的故事，我們收集它們在我們的。

QUARANTINE-WHILE SUB, SUB SEGMENT: CUISINE-WHILE.

QUARANTINE-WHILE SUB，SUB SEGMENT：CUISINE-WHILE。

CUISINE-WHILE, BECAUSE OF THE PANDEMIC, "SOME RESTAURANTS ARE

飲食--雖然，由於大恐慌，"一些餐廳是

INTRODUCING TIME LIMITS."

介紹時間限制。"

THAT'LL MAKE FOR A ROMANTIC FIRST DATE.

這將使一個浪漫的第一次約會。

"HEY, I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME, I COULD STARE INTO YOUR EYES

"嘿，我玩得很開心，我可以盯著你的眼睛看

FOREVER, BUT, DO YOU MIND CHUGGING YOUR LOBSTER BISQUE?

永遠，但是，你介意喝你的龍蝦酒嗎？

THE WAITER'S GIVIN' ME THE STINK-EYE."

"服務員給了我一雙臭眼睛"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, FANS OF KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE HAVE BEEN

SCANDALIZED BECAUSE APPARENTLY "KRAFT'S NEWEST AD CAMPAIGN HAS

因為顯然 "KRAFT最新的廣告宣傳已經被醜化了。

A RISQUEÉ TAGLINE: SEND NOODS."

一條RISQUEÉ標籤線：發送NOODS。"

I SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING THERE.

我知道他們在做什麼了。

LET'S HOPE IT'S MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN HORMEL'S RUMP ROAST

希望它比霍梅爾的烤肉更成功。

CAMPAIGN, EAT BUTT.

競選，吃屁股。

( LAUGHTER ) QUARANTINE-WHILE, HERE'S A THING

( 笑 ) 夸父，這裡有一件事...

THAT EXISTS: IT'S "THE WORLD'S FIRST APP-CONTROLLED MALE

存在的：它是 "世界上第一個APP控制的男性"。

CHASTITY DEVICE," PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO'S EVER WANTED TO

貞潔設備"，非常適合任何曾經想做的人。

SAY: "ALEXA, TURN OFF MY HUSBAND."

說："ALEXA，關閉我的丈夫。"

THE CELLMATE CHASTITY LOCK WORKS BY "ALLOWING A TRUSTED PARTNER

細胞伴侶貞操鎖的工作原理是 "允許一個值得信賴的夥伴"。

TO REMOTELY LOCK AND UNLOCK THE CHAMBER OVER BLUETOOTH USING A

通過藍牙遠程鎖定和解鎖腔體。

MOBILE APP."

手機APP。"

'CAUSE NOTHING GETS YOU IN THE MOOD LIKE TWO FACTOR

"因為沒有什麼能比得上雙因素讓你心情好了

AUTHENTICATION.

鑑定：

"BABY, LET'S MAKE LOVE... RIGHT AFTER I CLICK ON EVERY SQUARE

"寶貝，讓我們做愛... ... 就在我點擊每一個方塊之後。

WHERE THERE'S A TRAFFIC LIGHT TO PROVE I'M NOT A ROBOT."

在那裡有一個交通燈，以證明我不是一個機器人。"

QUARANTINE-WHILE, YOU CAN NOW BE SEXY HAND SANITIZER FOR

QUARANTINE-WHILE，你現在可以成為性感的手部消毒劑了。

HALLOWEEN.

萬歲。

LET'S SEE IT JIM THAT'S NOT SEXY HAND SANITIZER.

讓我們看看吧，吉姆，這不是性感的洗手液。

THIS IS SEXY HAND SANITIZER.

這是性感的洗手液。

OOH, YEAH, A FULLY STOCKED SHELF OF REASONABLY-PRICED PURIFYING

哦，是的，一個庫存充足的合理定價的淨化貨架。

GEL WITH NO "LIMIT TWO PER CUSTOMER" SIGNS.

沒有 "每位顧客限購兩瓶 "標誌的凝膠。

MMM!

MMM！

I WANT TO TAKE YOU HOME AND GET STERILE ALL NIGHT!

我想帶你回家，讓你整晚都保持清醒！

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MINDY KALING.

我們很快就會回到Mindy KALING的身邊。

♪ ♪

♪ ♪