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  • In February of this year, I went into an epileptic shock and I thought I was going to die.

    今年2月,我陷入癲癇休克,我以為自己會死。

  • It was really intense.

    真的很緊張。

  • My friend had to call 911 and I wanted to make a video about it where I would introduce it.

    我的朋友要打911,我想做一個關於它的視頻,在那裡我將介紹它。

  • Like, you know, my life didn't flash before my eyes, but it definitely became a musical.

    就像,你知道,我的生活沒有在我眼前閃過, 但它肯定成為一個音樂劇。

  • And they have this silly little musical number start.

    他們有這個愚蠢的小音樂開始。

  • So I hit my music producer and he sent me a rough draft voice memo of the structure of the song.

    於是我打了我的音樂製作人,他給我發了一份歌曲結構的語音備忘錄草稿。

  • And I just knew it would never get better than what I had just heard.

    我只知道它永遠不會比我剛才聽到的更好。

  • So here it iss What's this?

    所以在這裡,這是什麼?

  • You say there was shrimp in that dish?

    你說那道菜裡有蝦?

  • Oh, no, I'm choking.

    哦,不,我窒息了。

  • Oh, no, I'm choking.

    哦,不,我窒息了。

  • Help!

    幫忙!

  • Paramedics!

    醫務人員!

  • Oh, wait.

    哦,等等。

  • They're so cute.

    他們是如此可愛。

  • Oh, no.

    哦,不

  • Look there.

    看那裡

  • So buff and attractive.

    如此水嫩迷人。

  • Oh, please take me.

    哦,請帶我去。

  • Take me.

    帶我去吧

  • Take me to your leader because I'm dying.

    帶我去見你們的上司,因為我快死了。

  • You're dying.

    你快死了

  • You think you're dying?

    你以為你會死嗎?

  • You don't know what's happening.

    你不知道發生了什麼。

  • We're putting you into, uh, ambulance.

    我們要把你送上,呃,救護車。

  • They're taking you away, and now you can't breathe and you're singing about it.

    他們把你帶走了,現在你不能呼吸了,你還在唱這個。

  • And they're all looking at you.

    而他們都在看著你。

  • Oh, and they're giving you a chest pump.

    哦,他們會給你一個胸泵。

  • Oh, and you're liking it.

    哦,你喜歡它。

  • Oh, and you still can't breathe.

    哦,你還是不能呼吸。

  • And you're almost to the hospital.

    你也快到醫院了。

  • Oh, everybody's crying.

    哦,大家都在哭。

  • You're dying.

    你快死了

  • You don't know what's going on.

    你不知道發生了什麼事。

  • Then you get inside and then all of a sudden, everybody's looking at you.

    然後你進去了,然後突然間,每個人都在看著你。

  • They're trying to save you.

    他們是想救你

  • You might not make it or you might, but I think you're probably gonna be okay.

    你可能不會成功,也可能,但我想你可能會沒事的。

  • What do you think now?

    你現在怎麼看?

  • Apparently there's one species of shrimp out of the thousands of species of shrimp worldwide that I'm definitely allergic to.

    很顯然,在全世界上千種蝦中,有一種蝦我是絕對過敏的。

  • And as I was like on the pavement with my throat closing up in the ambulance was on its way.

    而我就像在人行道上,我的喉嚨關閉 在救護車的途中。

  • But still, so far all I could think about was suing that shrimp.

    但到目前為止,我還是隻想著要告那個蝦米。

  • Stay with me, Okay?

    跟我在一起,好嗎?

  • There's precedent for this.

    這是有先例的。

  • Did you know that historically, it was very common for us to sue animals as far back as ancient Greece?

    你知道嗎,歷史上,早在古希臘,我們起訴動物是非常普遍的事情。

  • Animals who harmed humans were tried in court in the Middle Ages.

    在中世紀,傷害人類的動物會被送上法庭審判。

  • Animals who committed crimes against their human caretakers or neighbors would have the same type of trial as human offenders, including showing up to court and having a defense lawyer.

    對人類看護者或鄰居犯罪的動物,將與人類罪犯受到同樣的審判,包括出庭和請辯護律師。

  • Your Honor, this lepidoptera has never even flown near that field.

    法官大人,這隻鱗翅目動物從未在那片土地附近飛過。

  • Objection, Your Honor.

    反對,法官大人

  • When the defendant was in the larval stage, he ate plants that did not belong to him.

    被告在幼蟲期時,吃了不屬於自己的植物。

  • Sustained counsel.

    支持的律師。

  • I advise you to remember that though your client emerged a beautiful butterfly, he is still responsible for his actions.

    我建議你記住,雖然你的客戶出現了一隻美麗的蝴蝶,但他仍然要為自己的行為負責。

  • Pre cocoon.

    繭前。

  • It's true.

    是真的

  • The most common trials were of pests that ruined crops.

    最常見的試驗是毀壞農作物的害蟲。

  • And it did not stop in the modern era.

    而在現代,這種情況也沒有停止。

  • In 14 74 a rooster was accused of witchcraft and convicted for the unnatural crime of laying an egg.

    14 74年,一隻公雞被指控為巫術,並因下蛋這一非自然的罪行而被定罪。

  • As recent as 1924 a chimpanzee was arrested and found guilty for smoking a cigarette in public and ordered to pay a $5 fine.

    就在1924年,一隻黑猩猩因在公共場所吸菸而被捕,並被判有罪,被責令支付5美元的罰款。

  • So with that in mind, I would like to see that trip for attempted murder.

    所以考慮到這一點,我希望看到那趟謀殺未遂。

  • Hello?

    喂?

  • Are you Mr Shrimp species?

    你是蝦種先生嗎?

  • 14 783.

    14 783.

  • Yeah, that's May Thies Air Court papers.

    是的,那是May Thies航空法庭的文件。

  • Honey, who is it?

    親愛的,是誰?

  • I just got served For what?

    我剛剛被送來了 為什麼?

  • I guess a almost killed somebody.

    我想我差點殺了人。

  • This video got really off the rails, but in all seriousness.

    這段視頻真的走火入魔了,不過說真的。

  • Very glad I'm alive.

    很高興我還活著

  • You know, we just have to carry two EpiPens with me at all time and steer clear of all crustaceans.

    你知道,我們只需要隨身攜帶兩支EpiPens,隨時隨地避開所有甲殼類動物。

  • They better steer clear of May I'm Anaconda and thank you to scrimp space for sponsoring today's video.

    他們最好避開五月我是蟒蛇,感謝吝嗇空間對今天視頻的贊助。

  • You guys know shrimp shrimp by now, they're all in one platform that lets you simultaneously post your content all of your scrims, embed audio onto your shrimp and use audio blocks that support podcasting.

    你們現在知道蝦米蝦米了吧,它們都在一個平臺上,讓你同時發佈你的內容所有的蝦米,把音頻嵌入到你的蝦米上,並使用支持播客的音頻塊。

  • You can also have multiple contributors with selective access to your shrimps.

    你也可以有多個貢獻者有選擇地訪問你的蝦。

  • Website manager.

    網站經理。

  • You can unify your brand voice and scrip out email campaigns, get insights in your top traffic scripts, and you own all the content that you put on the square shrimp platform.

    你可以統一你的品牌聲音,並將郵件活動腳本化,在你的頂級流量腳本中獲得洞察力,你擁有你在方蝦平臺上投放的所有內容。

  • Plus, after one trip data portability at the square script dot com for a free trial.

    另外,在方塊腳本點com免費試用一次後,行程數據便攜。

  • And whenever you're ready to lodge, go to script square dot com slash anna to save 10% off your first purchase of a Web scrimp or domain scrimp shrimp shrimp script.

    而無論何時,只要你準備好了住宿,到腳本方點網斜安納,首次購買網頁縮略圖或域名縮略圖蝦米腳本,就可以節省10%的費用。

In February of this year, I went into an epileptic shock and I thought I was going to die.

今年2月,我陷入癲癇休克,我以為自己會死。

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