Well, you know how I love those emotionally unavailable zoo.

好吧，你知道我有多喜歡那些情感上不可用的動物園。

Yeah.

是啊。

I mean, you always joke about that, but now I'm really seeing that you dio and I did not handle that.

我的意思是，你總是開玩笑，但現在我真的看到你迪奧和我沒有處理。

Well, how dare you joke about something that I joke about?

好吧，你怎麼敢拿我開玩笑的東西開玩笑？

That is actually really that I use humor to deflect.

這其實真的是我用幽默來轉移話題。

Who do you think you are?

你以為你是誰？

Someone that listens to me.

有人聽我的。

Someone that sees me.

有人看到我。

Someone who accepts the things I tell them about myself is fact.

有人接受我告訴他們的關於我自己的事情是事實。

I didn't say any of that, but I thought it.

我沒有說過這些，但我想過。

Now, first off, being emotionally unavailable doesn't make someone a bad person or incapable of love.

首先，感情上的不可得並不代表一個人是壞人，也不代表不能愛。

Like very often, emotional unavailability is just a coping mechanism from our childhood and the go to attachment style of the avoidance.

就像很多時候，情感的不可得只是我們從小的一種應對機制，以及去逃避的依戀方式。

And sometimes emotional unavailability is just temporary because we just went through a really hard break up or we're dealing with the death or we're just going through a very stressful experience.

有時情感上的不可用只是暫時的，因為我們剛剛經歷了一次非常艱難的分手，或者我們正在處理死亡，或者我們只是經歷了一次非常緊張的經歷。

But there are some clear signs that someone is emotionally unavailable for the long term one.

但有一些明顯的跡象表明，一個人在感情上是無法長期相處的。

They haven't been in serious relationships.

他們還沒有認真交往過。

Yeah, I've never been in a relationship before.

是啊，我以前從來沒有談過戀愛。

I want to It's just that every man is awful to their hot and cold.

我想 只是每個男人對自己的冷熱都很可怕。

What three.

什麼三。

They avoid conversations that go deeper.

他們避免進行更深入的對話。

This one could actually be tricky.

這個其實可能很棘手。

I dated someone who's really good at talking about deep topics like racism, sexism, sexual assault, politics, spirituality.

我約會的人誰是真正的好 談論深層次的話題，如種族主義， 性別歧視，性侵犯， 政治，精神。

But the moment the conversation became about his past, his relationship history or any of his own personal vulnerabilities No good luck breaking through that three emotionally unavailable don't communicate consistently.

但一聊到他的過去，他的感情史或者他個人的任何一個弱點就沒有好的運氣去突破，三個人的感情沒有持續溝通。

They're usually unable to describe how they're feeling.

他們通常無法描述自己的感受。

Like naming specific emotions typically aren't good at receiving or showing affection, and my personal favorite tend to avoid labels.

像命名特定的情感一般不善於接受或表達感情，我個人最喜歡的往往是避免標籤。

I just think that premature commitment, my ruin, the bomb that we're building, how well by putting a name on it, does not come with certain expectations that could potentially hinder our soul contract.

我只是覺得，過早的承諾，我的毀滅，我們正在建造的炸彈，通過把名字放在上面，多麼好，不帶有一定的期望，有可能阻礙我們的靈魂契約。

I don't think a genuine connection could be broken by something as simple as you calling me your girlfriend.

我不認為一個真正的聯繫可以被打破的東西簡單的，因為你叫我你的女朋友。

I disagree.

我不同意。

One minute I'm calling you my girlfriend.

一會兒我就叫你我女朋友。

The next minute you expect me not to see other people, then we're moving in together.

下一秒你就希望我不要見其他人，然後我們就一起搬進去。

Then you're smothering me with your constant need for emotional support and intimacy, then were married, trapped in a loveless hopeless.

那你就用你不斷需要情感支持和親密關係的方式來悶死我，然後被結婚，陷於無愛無望。

This.

這個

Wow.

哇哦

Okay, But also be honest with yourself.

好吧，但也要對自己誠實。

How emotionally unavailable are you?

你的情感有多匱乏？

Are you secretly afraid of falling in love?

你是否暗自害怕戀愛？

Because you'll get hurt?

因為你會受傷？

Are you distrustful and cut off people at the drop of a hat?

你是不是不信任人，一言不合就砍人？

Do you like keeping your options open in case someone better comes along?

你喜歡保持你的選擇權，以防有更好的人出現嗎？

Do you fear that a relationship means you'll lose yourself, your identity and your independence?

你是否擔心一段關係意味著你會失去自己、身份和獨立？

The good news is emotional unavailability is something that can be worked on.

好消息是，情緒上的無法是可以努力的。

It really just requires the will to work on your own personal development, show up and be vulnerable.

其實只需要你有意願去努力發展自己的個人能力，展現自己的風采和脆弱。

And, yes, there will definitely be some stumbles along the way.

是的，這一路上肯定會有一些磕磕絆絆。

But ultimately, if you want a meaningful connection and intimate relationship, the work for the emotionally unavailable person is necessary.

但歸根結底，如果你想要有意義的聯繫和親密的關係，對於情感上無法得到的人來說，工作是必要的。

And if you're the person dealing with someone who's emotionally unavailable, you have to figure out if they're actually willing to show up and do that work.

而如果你是面對一個情感上無法自拔的人，你就必須弄清楚他們是否真的願意出現在這裡，做這些工作。

I'm Anaconda and thank you to square space for sponsoring today's video.

我是蟒蛇，感謝廣場空間對今天視頻的贊助。

You guys know Squarespace by now.

你們現在已經知道Squarespace了。

They're my daddy, and also in all in one platform that lets you simultaneously post your content, all of your socials and that audio onto your site and use audio blocks that supports podcasting.

他們是我的爸爸，也是在所有的一個平臺，讓你同時發佈你的內容，你所有的社交和那個音頻到你的網站上，並使用音頻塊，支持播客。

Allows you to have multiple contributors with selective access to your sites.

允許您擁有多個貢獻者，可以選擇性地訪問您的網站。

Website Manager Helps you unify your brand voice and send out email campaigns.

網站管理員幫助您統一品牌聲音，發送電子郵件活動。

See how your visits unique visitors and page views.

查看您的訪問量如何，獨特的訪問者和頁面瀏覽量。

Trend over time.

隨著時間的推移，趨勢。

Gain insights into your top traffic sources, and you own all the content that you put on the Daddy Squarespace platform.

洞察您的頂級流量來源，您擁有您放在Daddy Squarespace平臺上的所有內容。

Plus, they offer one click data portability.

另外，他們還提供了一鍵式數據便攜性。

Head to squarespace dot com for a free trial, and whenever you're ready to launch, go to squarespace dot com slash anna to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain squarespace.

前往squarespace點com進行免費試用，無論何時，只要你準備好啟動，到squarespace點com斜槓anna，就可以為你首次購買網站或域名squarespace節省10%的費用。