Name: 特朗普感覺很棒，準備好辯論了! (Trump Is Feeling Great & Ready to Debate!)
Uploaded: 2020-10-23T19:32:13.000Z
Duration: 9 min 32 s

>> James: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME HEADLINES.

>> 詹姆斯。讓我們來看看一些頭條新聞。

OF COURSE, PRESIDENT TRUMP LEFT THE HOSPITAL EARLY LAST NIGHT.

當然，特朗普總統昨晚很早就離開了醫院。

AND HE DID NOT MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK

而他也沒有錯過讓自己看起來的機會

LIKE A HERO, BECAUSE A SHORT TIME LATER HE TWEETED OUT THIS

就像一個英雄，因為很短的時間後，他在微博上發出了這個

DRAMATIC, MOVIE-LIKE VIDEO OF HIS RETURN.

戲劇性的，像電影一樣的視頻他的迴歸。

>> 詹姆斯。這是一個很大的工作，只是為了。

ANNOUNCE THAT CORONAVIRUS IS OFFICIALLY IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

宣佈 "冠狀病毒 "正式進入白宮。

HE'S A 74-YEAR-OLD SENIOR CITIZEN RETURNING FROM THE

他是一個74歲的老公民，從監獄回來。

AND THEY MADE IT LOOK LIKE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IS

他們讓它看起來像阿諾德-施瓦辛格是。

DROPPING INTO CENTRAL AMERICA TO FIGHT THE PREDATOR.

( LAUGHTER ) THAT WASN'T THE ONLY VERSION,

WE ACTUALLY GOT OUR HANDS ON THE VERSION WITH A VOICEOVER AND

我們實際上已經拿到了帶配音的版本，並且

>> IN A WORLD WHERE A BILLIONAIRE WHO DOESN'T PAY

>> 在一個億萬富翁不付錢的世界裡。

TAXES CAN GET WORLD CLASS HEALTHCARE WHILE THOUSANDS OF

稅收可以讓世界一流的醫療服務，同時又能讓數以萬計的人

AMERICANS ARE SICK AND DYING, ONE MAN ENJOYS FREE HELICOPTER

美國人生病和死亡，一個人享受免費直升機

RIDES WITH A MILITARY ESCORT AND WADDLING ACROSS THE WHITE HOUSE

騎著軍車，在白宮裡走來走去。

AND WHATEVER THAT IS -- SO THAT HE CAN STAND ON A BALCONY LIKE A

不管是什麼... 這樣他就可以站在陽臺上像一個

LOW RENT DAVIDA AND SALUTE THE SERVICE MEMBERS HE CALLED

低租金的DAVIDA和致敬的服務成員，他呼籲。

DONALD TRUMP, ONLY IN THEORIES UNTIL NOVEMBER 3rd

唐納德-特朗普，11月3日之前，只在理論上。

WHO WOULD PLAY CORONAVIRUS IN THAT MOVIE?

誰會在那部電影中扮演冠狀病毒？

>> James: THAT'S A GOOD SHOUT, WILLIAM DEFO, STEVE BUSCEMI.

>> 詹姆斯。這是一個很好的呼喊， 威廉・德福，STEVE BUSCEMI。

>> James: IT COULD BE ANIMATED BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE BALL THEY

>> 詹姆斯：可能是動畫，因為你知道他們的球。

SHOW THE CORONAVIRUS WITH THE LITTLE RED SPIKES, THEY COULD

每個人都是一個紅色的動畫釘。

>> James: ONE OF THEM'S A BIT CRAZY, AND ONE OF THEM PLAYS BY

>> 詹姆斯。他們中的一個有點瘋狂，他們中的一個人在玩。

THE RULES, THE OTHER ONE'S JUST A MAVERICK.

規則，另一個只是個馬弗裡克。

>> LUIS GUZMAN'S ON THE OTHER SIDE GOING, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS

>> 路易斯-古茲曼在另一邊，你們在幹什麼？

WE'VE GOT TO GET MIKE PENCE BEFORE THIS IS OVER!

我們必須在這一切結束之前找到MIKE PENCE!

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THEN TRUMP POSTED AN

（笑）>>詹姆斯。然後，特朗普發佈了一個

奇怪的視頻，他在那裡嘮叨他的。

LEADERSHIP AND CLAIMED THAT HE MAY ALREADY BE IMMUNE TO THE

並聲稱他可能已經對《公約》有了免疫力。

>> 作為你的上司，我不得不這樣做。

I KNEW THERE WAS DANGER TO IT, BUT I HAD TO DO IT.

我知道這很危險，但我不得不這麼做。

NOBODY THAT'S APP LEADER WOULD NOT DO WHAT I DID.

沒有人是APP領導者不會做我所做的事情。

AND I KNOW THERE'S A RISK, THERE'S A DANGER, BUT THAT'S

我知道有風險，有危險，但那是...

OKAY, AND NOW I'M BETTER AND MAYBE I'M IMMUNE.

好吧，現在我更好，也許我是免疫的。

>> James: NOBODY THAT'S A LEADER WOULD NOT DO WHAT I DID."

>> 詹姆斯。沒有人是一個領導者不會做我所做的。"

NOBODY WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH AS A FIRST LANGUAGE WOULD NOT SAY IT

以英語為第一語言的人都不會這麼說。

( LAUGHTER ) WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TRUMP'S

（笑）什麼是怎麼回事與特朗普的。

HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S AT SUBWAY AND CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN A SIX INCH

他看起來像他在SUBWAY，不能決定之間的一個9英寸的，

UH, I DON'T KNOW -- I GOT DINNER PLANS, BUT I'M KIND OF HUNGRY.

呃，我不知道 - 我有晚餐計劃， 但我有點餓了。

( LAUGHTER ) BUT NOW TRUMP'S WONDERING IF

但現在，特朗普想知道，如果...

I SWEAR, IF THAT WAS AN AUDIENCE HERE, THAT WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A

我發誓，如果這裡有聽眾，那一定會得到一個好的結果。

THAT WOULD BE A GOOD DEAL OF MERCH, THAT.

>> IF THERE WAS AN AUDIENCE HERE, THAT WOULD BE A STANDING

>> 如果這裡有觀眾，那將會是一個站立式的

>> James: HE'S IMMUNE, ALL RIGHT -- IMMUNE TO FACTS.

>> 他是免疫的，對，對事實免疫。

( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

（笑）我的意思是，當冠狀病毒，

BREAKOUT IN THE WHITE HOUSE LED TO A RATHER UNUSUAL SIGHT.

在白宮裡的突發事件導致了一個更不尋常的景象。

THIS IS A CLEANING TEAM IN HAZMAT SUITS SANITIZING THE

這是一支穿著危險品防護服的清潔隊，正在對危險品進行消毒。

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A JOKE WE WERE MAKING WHEN TRUMP FIRST GOT

我覺得這是一個笑話，我們是在開玩笑，當特朗普第一次得到了。

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SANITIZE THE WHITE HOUSE NOW!"

AND NOW, BECAUSE OF TRUMP, THEY LITERALLY HAVE TO SANITIZE THE

而現在，因為特朗普，他們真的要對這個世界進行消毒

PRECAUTION, IT'S ALSO HOW TRUMP IS NOW GETTING HIS SPRAY TANS.

小心點，這也是特朗普現在如何獲得他的噴漆晒黑。

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特朗普感覺很棒，準備好辯論了! (Trump Is Feeling Great & Ready to Debate!)

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