WELCOME TO A "LATE SHOW"!

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"!

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主持人STEPHEN COLBERT。

LET ME JUST KEY UP HERE.

讓我在這裡鍵了。

MMM!

MMM！

OOOH, TEPID!

哦，TEPID！

I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO BE HOTTER THAN IT WAS.

我還以為會比現在更熱呢。

HELLO.

你好。

SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

很高興見到你。

SPEAKING OF HOT -- HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?

說到熱--你減肥了嗎？

YOU LOOK AMAZING.

你看起來棒極了。

WE HAVEN'T BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WEEK, AND I'VE MISSED SO MUCH

我們已經一個星期沒見面了，我很想念你

HAS HAPPENED.

已經發生了。

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED TODAY.

今天發生了太多的事情。

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST FEW HOURS.

在過去的幾個小時裡發生了這麼多事情。

HONEST TO GOD, YOU GUYS BACK ME UP, I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT

誠實的上帝，你們支持我，我不完全確定什麼。

WE'RE GOING TO READ EVEN THOUGH WE'VE READ ALL OF IT BECAUSE WE

我們要去讀，即使我們已經讀完了所有的書，因為我們

HAD TO CHANGE THE ORDER OF EVERYTHING MINUTES AGO.

不得不改變順序的一切分鐘前。

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS ONLY 15 DAYS AWAY.

總統選舉只剩下15天了。

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TO JUST BE OVER.

我等不及了，這只是結束。

IT'S LIKE AN UPCOMING SURGERY, IN THAT I'M PLANNING ON BEING

這就像一個即將到來的手術，在我打算要成為

ANESTHETIZED FOR THE EVENT.

麻醉的事件。

YOU KNOW WHO COULD USE SOME PAINKILLERS?

你知道誰會需要一些平克勒嗎？

DONALD TRUMP.

唐納德・特朗普：

BECAUSE HIS POLL NUMBERS ARE STARTING TO LOOK PRETTY BLEAK.

因為他的民調數字已經開始看起來很糟糕了。

(KNOCKING) KNOCK ON WOOD.

（敲）敲木頭。

SALT THE WOOD.

在木頭上撒鹽。

BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE.

BEETLEJUICE，BEETLEJUICE，BEETLEJUICE。

SO, IN THE RUN-UP TO THE ELECTION, TRUMP IS PLANNING TO

所以，在選舉前，特朗普計劃將

HOLD "TWO TO THREE EVENTS PER DAY."

舉辦 "每天兩到三場活動"。

BRILLIANT.

BRILLIANT。

BE ON TV EVERYDAY TO REMIND AMERICANS WHY THEY CAN'T STAND

每天在電視上提醒美國人為什麼不能忍受。

LOOKING AT YOU.

看著你。

AT A RALLY IN GEORGIA ON FRIDAY, TRUMP OPENLY MUSED ABOUT LOSING:

週五在喬治亞州舉行的集會上，特朗普公開表示要輸掉比賽。

>> COULD YOU IMAGINE IF I LOSE?

>> 你能想象如果我輸了嗎？

MY WHOLE LIFE, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

我的一生，我要做什麼？

I'M GOING TO SAY I LOST TO THE WORST CANDIDATE IN THE

我要說我輸給了最差的候選人

HISTORY OF POLITICS.

政治歷史：

I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL SO GOOD.

我不會感覺這麼好。

MAYBE I WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

也許我將不得不離開這個國家。

>> STEPHEN: I'LL HELP YOU PACK.

>> 我幫你包裝。

I HEAR EQUATORIAL GUINEA HAS A BEAUTIFUL NO EXTRADITION TREATY

我聽說赤道幾內亞有一個美麗的不引渡條約

THIS TIME OF YEAR.

每年的這個時候。

ONE OF TRUMP'S BIGGEST PROBLEMS IS THAT SUBURBAN WOMEN IN

特朗普最大的問題之一是，郊區婦女在。

BATTLEGROUND STATES CAN'T STAND HIM.

戰區國家不能忍受他。

TO WHICH TRUMP RESPONDED, YOU CAN AND YOU WILL.

特朗普迴應說，你可以，你也會。

>> THE WOMEN WHO THEY SAY DON'T LIKE ME, THEY ACTUALLY DO LIKE

>> 那些說不喜歡我的女人，其實她們真的很喜歡。

ME A LOT.

我經常。

>> STEPHEN: NO SURPRISE.

>> 毫無意外。

TRUMP'S GOT A LONG HISTORY OF IGNORING WOMEN SAYING "I'M NOT

特朗普有很長的歷史，忽視婦女說："我不是"。

INTO YOU."

在你身上。"

AND HE AIN'T TOO PROUD TO BEG, SWEET DARLIN'.

他不屑於乞討，親愛的達林。

>> SUBURBAN WOMEN, PLEASE VOTE FOR ME.

>> 郊區婦女，請投我一票。

SUBURBAN WOMEN, WILL YOU PLEASE LIKE ME?

郊區的女人，你會喜歡我嗎？

>> STEPHEN: AS PATHETIC AS THAT WAS, AFTER THE RALLY, TRUMP WENT

>> 悲慘的是，在集會之後，特朗普去了。

DOOR TO DOOR.

門到門。

TRUMP IS SO DESPERATE TO ATTRACT THE LADIES, HE BROKE OUT HIS

特朗普太想吸引女士們了，所以他把自己的 "小弟弟 "給弄出來了。

IRRESISTIBLE DANCE MOVE: ♪

無力的舞蹈動作：?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ MOVE YOUR FEET!

移動你的腳！

AT ALL!

根本就沒有！

JIMMY, PUT HIM BACK UP THERE!

JIMMY，把他放回去！

HE MAKES THE INFLATABLE TUBE-MAN LOOK LIKE FRED ASTAIRE.

他讓充氣管人看起來像FRED ASTAIRE。

I'VE SEEN MORE RHYTHMIC MOVEMENT FROM A POTATO ROLLING AROUND IN

我見過更多的洋芋滾來滾去的韻律動作。

THE TRUNK OF MY CAR.

我的車的後備箱。

HOW DO YOU MESS UP DANCING TO "Y.M.C.A.?"

你怎麼會把 "Y.M.C.A. "的舞跳砸了？

IT COMES WITH INSTRUCTIONS!

它帶有說明!

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE, BUT I'VE SEEN A DEAD

聽著，我不想打一匹死馬，但我已經看到了一匹死馬。

HORSE WITH BETTER MOVES.

馬兒有更好的動作。

THEY SAY HOW YOU DANCE INDICATES HOW YOU MAKE LOVE.

他們說，你怎麼跳舞就說明你怎麼做愛。

APPARENTLY, HE DOES NOT MAKE LOVE FROM THE WAIST DOWN.

顯然，他不會從腰部向下做愛。

FOR HIM, IT'S JUST A LOT OF FIST-PUMPING AND POINTING.

對他來說，這只是很多的拳頭和指責。

TRUMP IS ALSO BEING HURT BY HIS TOTAL SHANKING OF THE PANDEMIC,

特朗普也受到了傷害，他的完全SHANKING的PANDEMIC。

AND THINGS ARE GETTING WORSE.

事情變得更糟了。

ON FRIDAY, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE JULY, THE COUNTRY REPORTED

7月以來，該國首次在星期五報告說："我的孩子們，我的孩子們，我的孩子們，我的孩子們，我的孩子們，我的孩子們，我的孩子們"。

OVER 70,000 CORONAVIRUS CASES AND ONE EXPERT PREDICTS THAT THE

超過7萬個冠狀病毒病例，一位專家預測，在中國，冠狀病毒的發病率將達到70%。

NEXT 6-12 WEEKS ARE GOING TO BE THE DARKEST OF THE ENTIRE

接下來的6-12周將是最黑暗的一週。

PANDEMIC.

PANDEMIC：

IN OTHER WORDS: >> THE--

用其他的話說：>>《----》

>> WORST.

>>最糟糕的。

>> IS YET!

>> 是的！

TO COME!

來了！

>> STEPHEN: TODAY, TRUMP STOPPED BY ARIZONA FOR ANOTHER

>> 今天，特朗普在亞利桑那州停留了一段時間。

SUPER-SPREADER RALLY.

超級播種機拉力賽。

AND HE INSISTED THAT THIS WHOLE PANDEMIC THING IS JUST A PASSING

他堅持認為，這整個的PANDEMIC的事情只是一個過去的

FAD.

FAD：

>> YOUR STATE IS DOING GREAT WITH THE PANDEMIC.

>> 你的州在PANDEMIC方面做得很好。

PANDEMIC.

PANDEMIC：

THEY ARE GETTING TIRED OF THE PANDEMIC, AREN'T THEY?

他們已經厭倦了PANDEMIC，不是嗎？

YOU TURN ON CNN.

你打開CNN。

THAT'S ALL THEY COVER.

這就是他們的覆蓋範圍。

COVID, COVID, PANDEMIC, COVID COVID, COVID

COVID、COVID、PANDEMIC、COVID COVID、COVID。

UGH.

Ugh.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

你知道嗎？

THEY ARE TRYING TO TALK EVERYBODY OUT OF VOTING.

他們試圖說服大家不要投票。

PEOPLE AREN'T BUYING IT, CNN, YOU DUMB BASTARDS.

人們不買它，CNN，你啞巴混蛋。

THEY'RE NOT BUYING IT.

他們不買它。

( CHEERING ) >> Stephen: DUMB BASTARDS.

( CHEERING ) >> Stephen:愚蠢的混蛋。

LEAVE ERIC AND DON, JR. OUT OF THIS.

離開埃裡克和唐，JR。出這個。

TRUMP SPOKE ABOUT HIS COVID RECOVERY.

特朗普談到了他的COVID恢復情況。

>> IT'S GREAT.

>> 它是偉大的。

IT'S GREAT.

這是偉大的。

BUT I TOOK IT AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

但我把它和它是不可思議的。

INCREDIBLE.

難以置信的。

I FELT LIKE SUPERMAN THE NEXT MORNING.

第二天早上我覺得自己像超人一樣。

I WOKE UP, AND I WAS LIKE AAARGHH, LET ME AT EM!

我醒了，我就像AAARGHH，讓我在他們！

>> STEPHEN: AH, YES.

>> 啊，是的。

EXACTLY LIKE SUPERMAN.

完全像超人。

IT'S A BIRD!

是一隻鳥！

IT'S A PLANE!

這是一個計劃！

IT'S A CRAZY GUY JACKED UP ON STEROIDS!

這是一個瘋狂的傢伙傑克了類固醇！

"TRUTH, JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN BLAARGH!"

"真理，正義和美國的BLAARGH！"

"LET ME AT 'EM!

"讓我打他們！

NOW IT'S TEPID AND SALTY.

現在它是淡淡的，鹹鹹的。

( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP KEEPS INSISTING COVID IS

特朗普一直堅持認為，科維德是。

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT: >> IT'S ENDING ANYWAY.

沒什麼可擔心的。>>反正都結束了。

I MEAN, THEY GO CRAZY WHEN I SAY IT.

我是說，我一說他們就瘋了。

IT'S GOING TO PETER OUT, AND IT'S

它要去彼得出，它是。

GOING TO END.

將要結束。

WE'RE ROUNDING THE TURN.

我們正在轉彎。

WE'RE ROUNDING THE CORNER.

我們在轉角處。

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS NEAR.

隧道盡頭的光亮即將到來。

>> STEPHEN: NOTHING SAYS YOU'RE OUT OF DANGER LIKE, "GO TOWARD

>> 沒有什麼能比 "走向危險 "更能說明你已經脫離危險了。

THE LIGHT."

光。"

(AS TRUMP) "WE'RE GOING TO PUT ALL THE

(如特朗普) "我們要把所有的人都趕走"。

COVID INTO A BUCKET AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO KICK THE BUCKET.

科維德在一個籃子裡，然後我們要去踢籃子。

ALL THE WAY TO THAT FARM UPSTATE, WHERE WE'RE ALL GOING

一路走來，我們都要去那個農場的地方

TO LIVE, WE'RE GONNA BE ALIVE AS DOORNAILS."

"為了生存，我們要像門釘一樣活著。"

TRUMP SAID WHETHER YOU'RE NAUGHTY OR NICE, BIDEN'S COMING

特朗普說，無論你是醜陋的還是漂亮的，比登來了。

FOR YOUR STOCKING WITH CARE.

謹慎對待您的存貨。

>> IF HE GETS IN CARSON CITY WILL BE A GHOST TOWN.

>> 如果他進了卡森市，就會變成鬼城。

AND THE CHRISTMAS SEASON WILL BE CANCELLED.

而聖誕季將被取消。

>> STEPHEN: YES, IF JOE IS ELECTED, THERE WILL BE NO

>> 是的，如果喬當選，將不會有

CHRISTMAS ON JANUARY 20.

1月20日的聖誕節。

AND FORGET ABOUT FOURTH OF JULY IN FEBRUARY!

忘掉七月四日在二月的事情吧!

THEN HE CAME UP WITH THIS WEIRD ATTACK.

然後，他想出了這個奇怪的攻擊。

>> YOU KNOW, BIDEN WANTS TO LOCK IT DOWN.

>> 你知道，比登想把它鎖起來。

HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO DR. FAUCI.

他想聽博士的話FAUCI：

HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO DR. FAUCI.

他想聽博士的話FAUCI：

>> Stephen: DR. FAUCI IS THE MOST

>> Stephen:博士。FAUCI是最

TRUSTED PERSON ON CORONAVIRUS IN THE UNITED STATES.

在美國的冠狀病毒問題上值得信賴的人士。

I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE ATTACK YOU THINK IT IS.

我不認為那是你認為的攻擊。

AND I'M BEING TOLD THERE'S ALREADY A NEW AD:

我被告知已經有了一個新的廣告。

>> YOU KNOW, BIDEN WANTS TO LOCK IT DOWN.

>> 你知道，比登想把它鎖起來。

HE WANTS TO LISTEN TO DR. FAUCI.

他想聽博士的話FAUCI：

>> I'M JOE BIDEN AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

>> 我是喬-比登，我贊成這條消息。

>> Stephen: LAST NIGHT, THE SAME DR. FAUCI WAS ON

>> Stephen:昨天晚上，同一個醫生。FAUCI WAS ON

"60 MINUTES," AND HE WAS FRANK ABOUT TRUMP'S

"60分鐘"，他對特朗普進行了坦率的評價。

EFFORTS TO KEEP HIM FROM SPEAKING TO THE PUBLIC.

努力阻止他向公眾發表言論。

>> DURING THIS PANDEMIC, HAS THE WHITE HOUSE BEEN CONTROLLING

>>在這段時期，白宮是否控制了

WHEN YOU CAN SPEAK WITH THE MEDIA?

什麼時候你可以和媒體對話？

>> YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'D HAVE TO BE HONEST AND SAY YES.

>> 你知道嗎，我想你必須誠實的說 "是"。

I CERTAINLY HAVE NOT BEEN ALLOWED TO GO ON MANY, MANY,

我肯定沒有被允許去很多很多。

MANY SHOWS THAT HAVE ASKED FOR ME.

很多節目都要求我。

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT-- MANY, MANY SHOWS.

>> 是的，很多很多的節目。

THANKS TO TRUMP, WE NEVER GOT TO SEE FAUCI ON "FLOOR IS LAVA."

感謝特朗普，我們永遠不會看到 FAUCI在 "地板是拉瓦"。

FAUCI WAS ALSO CONCERNED ABOUT THE PRESIDENT PERSONALLY.

FAUCI也對主席個人感到擔憂。

>> WERE YOU SURPRISED WHEN PRESIDENT TRUMP GOT SICK?

>> 特朗普總統生病時，你感到驚訝嗎？

>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

>> 絕對不是。

I WAS WORRIED THAT HE WAS GOING TO GET SICK WHEN I SAW HIM IN A

我還擔心他生病了呢，我看到他穿上衣服的時候

COMPLETELY PRECARIOUS SITUATION OF CROWDED, NO SEPARATION

完全精確的人群位置，不分彼此。

BETWEEN PEOPLE, AND ALMOST NOBODY WEARING A MASK.

人與人之間，幾乎沒有人戴著面具。

WHEN I SAW THAT ON TV, I SAID, "OH, MY GOODNESS.

當我在電視上看到，我說，"哦，我的天哪，"。

NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OUT OF THAT, THAT'S GOT TO BE A

沒有什麼好東西能出來，這一定是一個。

PROBLEM."

PROBLEM。"

>> STEPHEN: SO, FAUCI INFLUENCES TRUMP'S COVID POLICY THE SAME

>> 所以，FAUCI影響特朗普的COVID政策一樣。

WAY WE DO: BY STARING IN HORROR AT THE TV AND SAYING, "THAT'S

我們做的方式，恐怖地盯著電視說："那是... ...

GOT TO BE A PROBLEM."

一定是個問題。"

TODAY, WITH INFECTIONS SPIKING ACROSS THE COUNTRY, TRUMP HIT

今天，隨著傳染病在全國範圍內蔓延，特朗普出手了。

BACK AT FAUCI ON A CAMPAIGN STAFF PHONE CALL WITH REPORTERS

回到FAUUCI，與記者進行競選工作人員的電話會議。

SAYING, "PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF HEARING FAUCI AND THESE IDIOTS,

說："人們已經聽膩了FAUCI和這些白痴的話。

ALL THESE IDIOTS WHO GOT IT WRONG."

所有這些白痴誰把它錯了。"

YEAH, REMEMBER THE GUY WHO SAID IT WOULD GO AWAY IN APRIL?

是啊，還記得那個說它會在四月消失的人嗎？

ACCORDING TO POLLS, PEOPLE ARE REALLY TIRED OF THAT IDIOT.

根據民意調查，人們已經厭倦了那個白痴。

TRUMP WASN'T THE ONLY REPUBLICAN ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT AT A RALLY

特朗普不是唯一一個在集會上表現得像個白痴的共和黨人。

THIS WEEKEND.

這個週末。

THERE WAS ALSO, GEORGIA SENATOR DAVID PERDUE, SEEN HERE

還有，喬治亞州參議員戴維迷路了，在這裡看到的。

EXPLAINING HOW HE LIKES HIS PUMPKINS TO HAVE SOME JUNK IN

解釋他如何喜歡他的pumpkins有一些垃圾英寸

THE TRUNK.

車庫。

SENATOR PERDUE WAS THE OPENING ACT FOR TRUMP'S RALLY IN MACON,

佩爾杜參議員是特朗普在馬孔集會的開幕式。

GEORGIA, ON FRIDAY.

喬治亞州，在星期五，

AND HE HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT DEMOCRATIC VICE PRESIDENTIAL

他對民主黨的副總統說了這樣的話。

CANDIDATE KAMALA HARRIS.

候選人KAMALA HARRIS：

>> KAMAL-- OR KAMALA OR KAMALA, OR KAMALA-MALA-MALA,

>> 噶瑪拉，或者噶瑪拉，或者噶瑪拉，或者噶瑪拉-瑪拉-瑪拉。

I DON'T KNOW.

我不知道。

WHATEVER!

什麼的！

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, NOT A HARD NAME TO PRONOUNCE.

>> 好吧，不難發音的名字。

IT'S KAMALA HARRIS.

我是卡馬拉-哈里斯。

GET IT RIGHT NEXT TIME, SENATOR DAVID PUBE-DEW.

下次一定要做好，DAVID PUBE -DEW議員

I MEAN, PUKE-DUDE.

我的意思是，PUKE -DUDE。

I MEAN, PURE-DOO-DOO?

我是說，純粹的嘟嘟嘟？

SENATOR PERV-DOOKIE IMMEDIATELY CAME UNDER FIRE FOR BEING

珀夫-杜基參議員因被人指責而立即遭到抨擊。

RACIST, BECAUSE YEAH.

種族主義者，因為是的。

SO HIS CAMPAIGN RELEASED A STATEMENT TRYING TO BACKTRACK,

所以他的競選團隊發佈了一份聲明，試圖回溯。

SAYING HE "SIMPLY MISPRONOUNCED SENATOR HARRIS' NAME, AND DIDN'T

說他 "簡單的錯誤發音哈里斯議員的名字，並沒有。

MEAN ANYTHING BY IT."

意味著它的任何事情。"

WHICH IS PRETTY HARD TO BELIEVE, SINCE HE'S WORKED WITH HARRIS IN

這是很難相信，因為他曾與哈里斯一起工作過。

THE SENATE SINCE 2017.

2017年以來，參議院。

IN HIS DEFENSE, HE NEVER ACTUALLY HEARD HER NAME

在他的辯護中，他從來沒有真正聽到她的名字。

PRONOUNCED BECAUSE HE'S SPENT THE PAST FOUR YEARS WITH HIS

因為他過去四年都和他的家人在一起

HEAD FIRMLY LODGED IN THE PRESIDENT'S KEISTER.

頭部在主席的鑰匙箱裡。

BIDEN'S ALSO ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, BUT INSTEAD OF TALKING TO

比登也在競選路線上，但卻沒有與人交談。

PEOPLE IN A TRUMP-STYLE SUPER SPREADER MOSH-PIT, HE'S HOSTING

人們在一個特朗普式的超級傳播者MOSH-PIT，他主辦的

DRIVE IN RALLIES WHERE PEOPLE JUST COME TO THE RALLY IN THEIR

駕車參加集會，人們只是開著自己的車來參加集會。

CARS.

汽車：

WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF ONE COUPLE WHO REALLY ENJOYED BIDEN'S

我們有一個夫婦的鏡頭誰真正享受比登的。

SPEECH: OOH, LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY VOTED

演講：哦，看來有人投票了。

EARLY.

早：

>> FOLKS, AS MY COLLEGE USED TO SAY IN COLLEGE, IT'S GO TIME!

>> 夥計們，就像我大學時說的那樣，現在是時候了！

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION IN OUR LIFETIME!

這是我們一生中最重要的選舉!

(CARS HONKING) GOING TO MAKE ALL THE

要讓所有的人都有機會看到自己的作品。

DIFFERENCE!

差別!

>> Stephen: LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY VOTED EARLY.

>> Stephen:看來有人提前投了票。

WHEN HE ANSWERED, BIDEN GOT A WARM WELCOME

當他回答時，比登得到了熱情的歡迎。

( HONKING ) >> HELLO, NORTH CAROLINA!

（鳴叫） >> 你好，北卡羅來納州！

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

謝謝你，謝謝你，謝謝你!

I TELL YOU WHAT, IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.

我告訴你吧，能來這裡真好。

MICHAEL, YOU KNOW, UH -- >> STEPHEN: (AS BIDEN)

你知道嗎？

"WHOA, JACK, THAT'S SOME LOUD HONKIN'!

"哇，傑克，這是一些響亮的honkin'！

BETTER PUT ON MY SUNGLASSES.

最好戴上我的太陽鏡。

NOPE, THESE ARE FOR THE EYES.

不，這些是給眼睛看的。

I NEED THE ONE FOR THE EARS.

我需要一個耳朵的。

COME ON!

來吧！

SOMEBODY INVENT EARVIATORS!" COME ON, JACK.

有人發明了耳罩！"來吧，傑克。

BIDEN ISN'T JUST RELYING SOLELY ON IN-PERSON APPEARANCES,

比登不只是依靠親自出面。

BECAUSE THIS WEEKEND, THE CAMPAIGN ANNOUNCED THAT JOE

因為這個週末，競選團隊宣佈，喬伊...

BIDEN HAS HIS OWN ISLAND ON THE VIDEO GAME "ANIMAL CROSSING"

比登在視頻遊戲 "Animal CROSSING "上有了自己的島嶼。

WHERE YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT HIS CAMPAIGN.

你在哪裡可以瞭解他的競選活動。

AWESOME, BECAUSE THAT'S WHY PEOPLE PLAY VIDEO GAMES: TO NOT

很好，因為這就是人們玩電子遊戲的原因：不需要。

ESCAPE FROM REALITY.

從現實中逃脫。

THAT'S WHY THE MOST POPULAR VIDEO GAME RIGHT NOW IS "CALL OF

這就是為什麼現在最受歡迎的視頻遊戲是 "CALL OF"。

CIVIC DUTY."

公民義務。"

THIS IS PERFECT.

這是完美的。

I CAN'T REMEMBER A TIME WHERE PANDERING TO VOTERS USING A

我不記得有一次，在那裡向使用A的投票者獻媚。

POPULAR VIDEO GAME DIDN'T WORK!

大眾視頻遊戲沒戲!

>> I DON'T KNOW WHO CREATED "POKEMON GO," BUT I'D TRY TO

>> 我不知道是誰創造了 "POKEMON GO"，但我想。

FIGURE OUT HOW WE GET THEM TO HAVE POKEMON GO TO THE POLLS!

想辦法讓他們把《POKEMON GO》拿到民意調查中去!

>> Stephen: STILL HURTS FOUR YEARS LATER.

>> 史蒂芬：四年後還在疼。

ACCORDING TO CAMPAIGN OFFICIALS, TRUMP HAS NO PLANS TO LAUNCH A

根據競選官員的說法，特朗普沒有計劃啟動一個新的項目。

SIMILAR EFFORT ON "ANIMAL CROSSING."

關於 "動物越界 "的類似努力。

CLEARLY, IF TRUMP WERE TO INSERT HIMSELF TO A VIDEO GAME,

很明顯，如果特朗普要把自己插入到視頻遊戲中，

IT WOULD OBVIOUSLY BE "JUST DANCE."

很明顯，這將是 "公正的舞蹈"。

THINGS LOOK SO BAD FOR TRUMP THAT SOME REPUBLICANS ARE

特朗普的情況看起來如此糟糕，以至於一些共和黨人正在

BEGINNING TO EDGE AWAY.

開始漸行漸遠。

ONE REPUBLICAN BEGINNING TO SPROUT A TINY SET OF TESTICLES