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  • You know, unfortunately it wouldn't be

    你知道,不幸的是,它不會是。

  • a Christmas special in 2020

    聖誕特輯

  • without the following segment.

    不包括以下部分:

  • Take a look.

    看看吧

  • (dramatic music)

  • [Narrator] It's time for a Qanon News Break.

    現在是卡農的新聞報道時間

  • America, this Christmas it's time to wake up

    美國,這個聖誕節,是時候醒醒了

  • and learn the identity of the biggest deep state

    並瞭解最大的深層國家的身份

  • criminal of them all: Santa Claus.

    他們所有的罪犯。聖誕老人

  • (bells jingling)

    (鐘聲叮噹)

  • Born Saint Nick in 270 AD,

    公元270年,聖尼克出生。

  • Santa has survived to this day

    聖誕老人活到了今天

  • by feasting on the plasma of millions of children.

    通過大吃大喝數百萬兒童的血漿。

  • His bright red cheeks proof of his insatiable lust.

    他鮮紅的臉頰證明了他的貪慾。

  • How does he get away with it?

    他是怎麼逃過一劫的?

  • Because for years Santa has been propped up

    因為多年來,聖誕老人一直在支撐著

  • by the Hollywood pedo industrial complex

    好萊塢戀童癖產業集團

  • where he's been featured in over 100 films,

    在那裡,他在100多部電影中出現過。

  • all glorifying his maniacal invasion of younsters' homes

    大肆宣揚他對年輕人的瘋狂入侵

  • to harvest their blood.

    來採集他們的血液。

  • Yes, Hollywood, where Santa is sheltered

    是的,好萊塢,聖誕老人的庇護所

  • thanks to his carefully cultivated relationship

    得益於他的精心培養

  • with power broker, Brooke Shields,

    與權力經紀人,布魯克-希爾茲。

  • and coddled by the warm embrace

    被溫暖的懷抱寵愛

  • of the mainstream news media.

    的主流新聞媒體。

  • Santa is here!

    聖誕老人來了!

  • [Narrator] No wonder he's able to move freely

    難怪他能自由行動了

  • among the deep state's greatest felons.

    屬於深層國家最大的重罪犯之一。

  • And now meet Santa's boss,

    現在來見見聖誕老人的老闆。

  • shown for the first time in this deleted scene

    刪減場景中首次出現

  • from a children's classic

    童話故事

  • where Rudolph surveys his kingdom.

    魯道夫在那裡考察他的王國。

  • Bow down.

    鞠躬

  • [Narrator] And Santa is broken and brought to heal

    [旁白]和聖誕老人被打破 並帶來治癒

  • by the evil reindeer and his eight demon disciples.

    被邪惡的馴鹿和他的八個魔族弟子。

  • Yes, Rudolph, who keeps Santa on a short leash

    是的,魯道夫,他把聖誕老人拴得很緊。

  • as he in turn administers to his deep state minions.

    因為他反過來管理他的深州爪牙。

  • Melania tried to warn us with her Santa hat trees,

    梅拉尼婭試圖用她的聖誕老人帽子樹來警告我們。

  • but we wouldn't listen.

    但我們不聽。

  • So now it's time for all of us

    所以現在是我們大家的時候了。

  • to wake up before it's too late.

    趁著還沒來得及醒過來。

  • Next time on Qanon News Break.

    下期《卡農新聞聯播》。

  • Learn how Jesus Christ,

    學習耶穌基督如何。

  • a confirmed bachelor and known Jew,

    一個公認的單身漢和知名的猶太人。

  • who is beloved by Hollywood

    深受好萊塢喜愛的人

  • and confessed to spending 40 days

    並供認自己在這裡呆了40天

  • at a desert retreat with the devil,

    在沙漠中和魔鬼一起撤退。

  • might just be the biggest deep state

    可能只是最大的深國

  • double agent of them all.

    他們中的雙重間諜。

  • This has been a Qanon News Break.

    這已經是卡農的新聞報道了。

  • Man, that makes you think, doesn't it, Andy?

    夥計,這讓你覺得,不是嗎,安迪?

  • Yeah, think that my great aunt was right.

    是啊,我覺得我大姨媽是對的。

You know, unfortunately it wouldn't be

你知道,不幸的是,它不會是。

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B2 中高級 中文 聖誕老人 好萊塢 新聞 魯道夫 罪犯 報道

QAnon新聞突破。聖誕老人版--CONAN在TBS的報道 (QAnon News Break: Santa Claus Edition - CONAN on TBS)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 10 月 23 日
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