a Christmas special in 2020

聖誕特輯

without the following segment.

不包括以下部分：

Take a look.

看看吧

(dramatic music)

咍

[Narrator] It's time for a Qanon News Break.

現在是卡農的新聞報道時間

America, this Christmas it's time to wake up

美國，這個聖誕節，是時候醒醒了

and learn the identity of the biggest deep state

並瞭解最大的深層國家的身份

criminal of them all: Santa Claus.

他們所有的罪犯。聖誕老人

(bells jingling)

（鐘聲叮噹）

Born Saint Nick in 270 AD,

公元270年，聖尼克出生。

Santa has survived to this day

聖誕老人活到了今天

by feasting on the plasma of millions of children.

通過大吃大喝數百萬兒童的血漿。

His bright red cheeks proof of his insatiable lust.

他鮮紅的臉頰證明了他的貪慾。

How does he get away with it?

他是怎麼逃過一劫的？

Because for years Santa has been propped up

因為多年來，聖誕老人一直在支撐著

by the Hollywood pedo industrial complex

好萊塢戀童癖產業集團

where he's been featured in over 100 films,

在那裡，他在100多部電影中出現過。

all glorifying his maniacal invasion of younsters' homes

大肆宣揚他對年輕人的瘋狂入侵

to harvest their blood.

來採集他們的血液。

Yes, Hollywood, where Santa is sheltered

是的，好萊塢，聖誕老人的庇護所

thanks to his carefully cultivated relationship

得益於他的精心培養

with power broker, Brooke Shields,

與權力經紀人，布魯克-希爾茲。

and coddled by the warm embrace

被溫暖的懷抱寵愛

of the mainstream news media.

的主流新聞媒體。

Santa is here!

聖誕老人來了！

[Narrator] No wonder he's able to move freely

難怪他能自由行動了

among the deep state's greatest felons.

屬於深層國家最大的重罪犯之一。

And now meet Santa's boss,

現在來見見聖誕老人的老闆。

shown for the first time in this deleted scene

刪減場景中首次出現

from a children's classic

童話故事

where Rudolph surveys his kingdom.

魯道夫在那裡考察他的王國。

Bow down.

鞠躬

[Narrator] And Santa is broken and brought to heal

[旁白]和聖誕老人被打破 並帶來治癒

by the evil reindeer and his eight demon disciples.

被邪惡的馴鹿和他的八個魔族弟子。

Yes, Rudolph, who keeps Santa on a short leash

是的，魯道夫，他把聖誕老人拴得很緊。

as he in turn administers to his deep state minions.

因為他反過來管理他的深州爪牙。

Melania tried to warn us with her Santa hat trees,

梅拉尼婭試圖用她的聖誕老人帽子樹來警告我們。

but we wouldn't listen.

但我們不聽。

So now it's time for all of us

所以現在是我們大家的時候了。

to wake up before it's too late.

趁著還沒來得及醒過來。

Next time on Qanon News Break.

下期《卡農新聞聯播》。

Learn how Jesus Christ,

學習耶穌基督如何。

a confirmed bachelor and known Jew,

一個公認的單身漢和知名的猶太人。

who is beloved by Hollywood

深受好萊塢喜愛的人

and confessed to spending 40 days

並供認自己在這裡呆了40天

at a desert retreat with the devil,

在沙漠中和魔鬼一起撤退。

might just be the biggest deep state

可能只是最大的深國

double agent of them all.

他們中的雙重間諜。

This has been a Qanon News Break.

這已經是卡農的新聞報道了。

Man, that makes you think, doesn't it, Andy?

夥計，這讓你覺得，不是嗎，安迪？

Yeah, think that my great aunt was right.

是啊，我覺得我大姨媽是對的。