Elizabeth Day: All of us fail in myriad ways almost

伊麗莎白-戴。我們每個人都會有各種各樣的失敗，幾乎是

every single day and yet, we live in an age where it

然而，我們生活在這樣一個時代，它

is very difficult to be honest about failure, where

是很難坦然面對失敗的，其中

it seems as if everyone else is nailing their life.

好像別人都是釘子戶的生活。

Because we live an age of curated

因為我們生活在一個策劃的時代

perfection of social media, of Instagram

社交媒體的完美，Instagram的完美

filters and it can feel quite lonely sometimes to be vulnerable.

濾鏡，有時會覺得很孤獨，很脆弱。

It is paradoxically when we are our most

自相矛盾的是，當我們最

vulnerable and when we choose to be

脆弱，當我們選擇成為

open and honest about that vulnerability

磊落

that we become our strongest selves.

讓我們成為最強大的自己。

Because not only do we learn more about who we are, but we're

因為我們不僅能更多地瞭解自己是誰，而且我們還能

able to connect on a very human level with other people.

能夠在非常人性化的層面上與他人溝通。

In October 2017, a long-term relationship came to an end.

2017年10月，一段長期的感情走到了盡頭。

It was brutal. It was out of the blue

這是殘酷的。它是出乎意料的

and it was three weeks before my 39th birthday.

那是我39歲生日前的三個星期。

I face my 39th birthday was something akin to trepidation because I was

我面對我39歲的生日是類似於惶恐的東西，因為我是。

in no way where I have thought I would be at that stage in my life.

在任何情況下，我都不會想到我會在我生命的那個階段。

During my 30s, I had had a very busy time.

在我30多歲的時候，我曾經有過一段非常忙碌的時光。

I had got married and then divorced.

我結過婚，然後又離了婚。

I had tried and failed to have children.

我曾嘗試過生孩子，但失敗了。

I had two unsuccessful rounds of IVF and a miscarriage at three months.

我做了兩輪試管嬰兒不成功，三個月時流產了。

When I look back at my 30s, I realized that they

當我回顧我的30多歲時，我意識到，他們

had been a decade of some professional success.

已經是專業上取得一定成績的十年。

I had written four novels.

我已經寫了四部小說。

I was lucky enough to make my living as a journalist, but they had been

我很幸運，能以記者為生，但他們一直在

a decade also of immense personal transition and personal sadness.

這十年，也是個人巨大的轉變和個人悲哀的十年。

At the back of this relationship ending, I took myself

在這段關係結束的背後，我把自己

to LA, which is a very good place to go to lick your

到洛杉磯，這是一個非常好的地方去舔你的。

wounds because it's sunny and the time difference means

傷口，因為它是陽光明媚的，時差意味著

that you don't get that many emails after 2 P.M.

下午兩點後你不會收到那麼多的電子郵件。

It was while I was in LA that I find myself listening to a lot of

當我在洛杉磯的時候，我發現自己聽了很多的。

podcasts because, as anyone who has ever been heartbroken will

播客，因為，任何一個曾經心碎的人都會知道

know, when you're in that state of mind, every single pop song

知道嗎，當你在這種心態下， 每一首流行歌曲，

seems to have a peculiar, a specific resonance to your heartbreak.

似乎有一個奇特的，一個特定的共鳴 你的心碎。

One of the podcasts I was listening to was

我在聽的一個播客是

Where Shall We Begin with Esther Perel.

我們該從哪裡開始和埃斯特-佩雷爾談起呢？

She is a fantastic relationship therapist and she basically opens up

她是一個夢幻般的關係治療師，她基本上打開了

the door to her consulting room during the course of this podcast.

在這個播客的過程中，她的諮詢室的門。

You get a bird's eye view of relationships

你會得到一個鳥瞰式的關係視圖

going wrong and then being put right.

出錯後又被糾正。

At the same time as I was listening to this

在我聽完這個的同時。

podcast, I was having the most incredible

播客，我有最不可思議的

conversations with my predominantly female friends

與我的女性朋友為主的對話。

about what it meant to have loved and lost

關於愛與失去的意義

and what we had learned from various heartbreak,

以及我們從各種心酸中得到的啟示。

and where we were professionally and what

以及我們的職業發展方向

this meant, and what it meant not to have

這意味著什麼？

children when one had always thought one would.

子女的時候，自己一直以為自己會。

I began to look very differently at my

我開始以非常不同的眼光看待我的

failures and I began to see that each one had

失敗，我開始看到，每一個都有。

taught me something so valuable about who

教給我一些寶貴的東西，關於誰

I was and what I wanted going forwards.

我是什麼人，我想往前走。

Actually, each time I had ended a job

其實，我每次結束工作

or ended a relationship or a friendship

或結束關係或友誼

had fallen by the wayside, it had been

掉隊了，它已被淘汰了

a lesson wrapped up in a mistake.

失之東隅，收之桑榆

It had been a nudge from the universe in a slightly different direction.

這已經是來自宇宙的推波助瀾，方向稍有不同。

I started to wonder how great it would be if we could open up those

我開始想，如果我們能打開那些... ...

conversations into a more public forum

談話進入一個更公開的論壇

and that was the genesis of How To Fail.

這就是《如何失敗》的起源。

For the first eight guests, I really corralled a lot of

對於前八位客人，我真的凝聚了大量的

friends and contacts and got them to do it as a favor.

朋友和聯繫人，並讓他們幫個忙。

I asked each guest before they appeared

在每個客人出現之前，我都會問他們

to come up with three failures.

以得出三個失敗。

Three instances in their life where they felt

在他們的生活中，有三件事讓他們感到

that things haven't gone according to plan.

事情沒有按計劃進行。

They could range from the seemingly superficial, bad dates,

它們的範圍可能從看似表面的，糟糕的約會。

failed driving tests, lost tennis matches to the more profound.

駕考失敗，網球比賽輸給了更深刻的人。

It is a great honor now to listen to those people

現在能聽這些人說話，是我的榮幸。

stories because the topics we've discussed

故事，因為我們討論的主題

include living with depression, homelessness,

包括與抑鬱症、無家可歸的生活。

death by suicide, failed family relationships.

自殺身亡，家庭關係失敗。

It really has been the most beautiful journey of discovery.

這真的是一次最美的發現之旅。

Those first eight episodes I put out into

這前八集，我放出成

the world genuinely thinking that maybe half

世界上真正認為可能有一半的人

a dozen people might listen and two of

十幾個人聽，兩個

those people would probably be my parents.

這些人可能會是我的父母。

I sold my wedding dress on eBay to fund the first few episodes.

我在eBay上賣掉了我的婚紗，以資助前幾集的拍攝。

I drew my own logo with felt-tip pens, as you

我用毛筆畫了自己的標誌，就像你一樣。

can probably tell if you've ever seen it.

如果你看過的話，可能會知道。

Anyway, How To Fail went out there in July 2018 and within

總之，《如何失敗》在2018年7月上市，在內

three weeks, it was number three on the iTunes chart.

三週，它在iTunes排行榜上排名第三。

It was, ironically, the most successful thing I have ever done.

諷刺的是，這是我做過的最成功的事情。

[laughter]

[笑聲]

Elizabeth: It's been a really incredible thing, this journey,

伊麗莎白。這是一個非常不可思議的事情， 這個旅程。

because it's made me realize how much we were all thirsting to talk

因為它讓我意識到，我們都是多麼渴求說話。

about failure and how alone so many people feel in their failures

關於失敗，以及很多人在失敗中的孤獨感。

and how ashamed they feel of acknowledging them in public.

以及他們對在公共場合承認他們感到多麼羞愧。

It's really been wonderful opening up

這真的是美妙的開放

a space where people can be more honest.

一個人們可以更誠實的空間。

One of the most inspiring guests I've ever had on

一個最鼓舞人心的客人，我有史以來的。

the podcast is a man called Johnny Benjamin, who

播客是一個叫約翰尼-本傑明的人，他...

is not a household name, but is a phenomenal mental health campaigner.

雖然不是家喻戶曉的人物，但卻是一位了不起的心理健康運動家。

When Johnny was 20, he was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.

約翰尼20歲時，被診斷出患有精神分裂症。

Shortly afterwards, he found himself standing on

不久之後，他發現自己站在了

the edge of Waterloo Bridge, about to take his own life.

在滑鐵盧橋的邊緣，準備自殺。

The pain had got so great that he could see no other way out.

疼痛已經到了無路可走的地步。

It was at that moment that a stranger walked past him

就在這時，一個陌生人從他身邊走過。

and, noticing Johnny's distress, stopped to talk to him.

並注意到約翰尼的苦惱，停下來和他說話。

It was this single act of compassion

就是這一次的慈悲之舉

and connection that pulled Johnny back from the edge.

和連接，把約翰尼從邊緣拉回來。

Six years later, Johnny launched an internet

六年後，約翰尼推出了一個互聯網

campaign to try and find that stranger.

試圖找到那個陌生人的運動。

319 million people responded and eventually

3.19億人響應，最終

Johnny was reunited with Neil Laybourn.

約翰尼與尼爾-雷伯恩重逢。

The two of them are now best friends and they tour the country

他們倆現在是最好的朋友，他們在全國巡迴演出

talking to corporations and schools about mental health.

與企業和學校討論心理健康問題；

When Johnny was telling this story to me, it was extremely emotional.

當強尼給我講這個故事的時候，非常感慨。

We were both in tears and it caused a wave of listener response.

我們都淚流滿面，引起了聽眾的一波反應。

So many people got in touch to say that

所以很多人聯繫說

Johnny's bravery and courage in speaking about

約翰尼的勇敢和勇氣，在談到關於

that had helped them feel it was worth continuing,

幫助他們覺得值得繼續下去。

had helped them feel it was less alone.

已經幫助他們感覺到它不那麼孤獨。

Really, what I'd like to end on is that idea that

真的，我想說的是，最後的想法就是

however bleak it feels, however much you think you have

無論你覺得多麼淒涼，無論你認為你有多少東西

failed, cling on that little bit longer because the real

失敗了，再堅持一下，因為真正的。

failure might be not finding out what happens next.

失敗的原因可能是沒有發現接下來會發生什麼。

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