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  • Donald Trump,

  • the first president who's a nonessential worker.

  • Yesterday, a tape dropped of an interview

  • he did with Bob Woodward back in February,

  • where he admitted that he purposefully downplayed

  • the risk of coronavirus.

  • I mean, we all know why--

  • it's 'cause he didn't want to spook his precious stock market.

  • (like Trump): Whoa, whoa.

  • Easy, girl, easy, girl.

  • It's okay, NASDAQ, everything's fine.

  • You just keep going up, girl.

  • Now, when normal people get caught on tape

  • admitting that they lied to an entire country,

  • they usually apologize.

  • But Donald Trump didn't become president by being normal,

  • so yesterday he doubled down.

  • Well, I think, if you said, "in order to reduce panic,"

  • perhaps that's so.

  • The fact is, I'm a cheerleader for this country,

  • I love our country, and I don't want people to be frightened,

  • I don't want to create panic, as you say,

  • and, uh, certainly, I'm not going to drive, uh...

  • this country or the world into a frenzy.

  • We want to show confidence. We want to show strength.

  • We want to show strength as a nation.

  • You're a cheerleader?

  • No, (bleep), you're not a cheerleader.

  • You're the coach!

  • When you see that your team is headed for a huge defeat,

  • you come up with some plays.

  • Right? You don't just stand on the sidelines,

  • waving pom-poms and saying everything's gonna be okay.

  • Look, Trump, just because you've spent a ton of time

  • in cheerleaders' changing rooms doesn't mean that you are one.

  • Look, I'm just saying, I've watched that Netflix show,

  • and Donald Trump would not make it on mat.

  • Cheerleaders are everything that the president is not.

  • They work as a team, they're disciplined,

  • and most importantly, they know how to spell words.

  • Now, the one upside

  • of being stuck in this psychotic relationship

  • with Trump for the last four years

  • is that by now, we've pretty much learned every pattern

  • that every Trump scandal takes.

  • Trump steps into shit,

  • and then Trump world comes out and explains

  • that he didn't actually step in shit, or it wasn't shit,

  • or, that if the coastal elites got out of their bubble,

  • they'd realize that stepping in shit

  • is the most American thing that you can do.

  • And this time is no different,

  • as Fox News, the only network whose subtitles are in all caps,

  • quickly rallied to Trump's corner to explain

  • why lying to America about a deadly pandemic

  • was the right move all along.

  • The president was saying, "Don't fear."

  • He was calm, he was confident,

  • because he didn't want to create a panic.

  • I thought that was just fine and dandy.

  • I mean, you wouldn't... you're trying to run the country.

  • You're offering leadership.

  • When a doctor sees a spot on your X ray,

  • he doesn't run in and say...

  • and say, "My, God, you have cancer! You're going to die!"

  • He says, "Hold on a second. This could be dense tissue.

  • We want to look at it again."

  • Think about it. Uh, during the Depression,

  • it was FDR who had his fireside chats to calm America.

  • You look at something that President Obama tweeted out

  • on March 4, and he had the same message as President Trump

  • about "calm down."

  • He said, "Protect yourself and your community

  • "from coronavirus with common sense precautions:

  • "wash your hands, stay home when sick

  • "and listen to the @CDCgov and local health authorities.

  • Let's stay calm." Sound familiar?

  • "Listen to the experts, and follow the science."

  • Uh, okay, guys... that Obama tweet

  • isn't proving what you actually think it's proving.

  • It's actually an example of how a president

  • can keep people calm whilst also being realistic

  • about the dangers they face.

  • The problem with Trump's admission to Bob Woodward

  • isn't the fact that he tried to keep people calm, okay?

  • It's the "downplaying the virus" part.

  • As crazy as it may seem, lots of people in America

  • actually believe the things that President Trump says.

  • So when Trump comes out and declares that the deep state

  • made up corona to ruin his birthday, they listen.

  • And as for that doctor analogy, Greg Gutfeld is correct.

  • When doctors see a spot on your X ray, they don't panic.

  • But they do get it checked out, because it might be serious.

  • They don't tell you that,

  • "You've got a spot on your X ray, but don't worry..."

  • (like Trump): One day it's gonna disappear just like a miracle.

  • All right, you want to do co-pay,

  • or you just want to do quid pro quo?

  • So by and large, Fox News took the position

  • that these Woodward tapes are nothing to be concerned about.

  • Now, who knows, maybe they're just trying

  • to not cause a panic.

  • But at least one Fox host seemed to realize

  • that Donald Trump's lie had done some real damage,

  • and so he took the bold step of placing the blame squarely

  • on someone else.

  • Of course, Bob Woodward's book

  • is exactly what you thought it would be.

  • What's surprising is that Donald Trump participated

  • in making the book.

  • The president sat for repeated interviews with Bob Woodward.

  • Why in the world would he do that?

  • Well, tonight, from the source who knows,

  • the answer to that mystery.

  • Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina.

  • It was Lindsey Graham who helped convince Donald Trump

  • to talk to Bob Woodward.

  • How'd that turn out?

  • Now, remember, Lindsey Graham is supposed to be a Republican,

  • so why would he do something like that?

  • You'd have to ask him.

  • But keep in mind that Lindsey Graham has opposed--

  • passionately opposed-- virtually every major policy initiative

  • that Donald Trump articulated when he first ran.

  • So maybe you already know the answer.

  • This...

  • is insane.

  • So Lindsey Graham has been pretending to be a Trump ally

  • this whole time?

  • Golfing with him? Confirming his judges?

  • Defending him during impeachment?

  • All so that four years later he could trick Trump

  • into doing a Bob Woodward interview?

  • And by the way, nobody forced Trump to do this interview

  • or say the things that he said.

  • So this master plan only works

  • if the guy you're plotting against

  • is dumb as shit.

  • How are we going to assassinate Caesar?

  • I have an idea.

  • Let's leave a bunch of knives in front of him,

  • and maybe he'll stab himself.

  • This is the problem with defending Trump at all costs.

  • Eventually, you're forced to invent

  • the most ridiculous conspiracy theories.

  • Lindsey Graham?

  • Lindsey Graham is one of Trump's most loyal allies.

  • But Tucker Carlson is out here making him sound like a resistor

  • who's hiding Black Lives Matter signs in his office.

  • You know, eventually...

  • you're gonna run out of people to blame.

  • Yeah, there'll be no one else to blame

  • other than, like, Trump voters.

  • I can't wait for the day when Tucker Carlson

  • comes on the air like: Trump didn't elect himself.

  • What kind of sick, twisted individual

  • would put this poor man in a position of power?

  • I think we all know the answer to that.

  • So look, I don't know if these recordings will hurt Trump

  • in the presidential election.

  • I mean, scandals slide off him

  • faster than his bronzer on a hot day.

  • But if his new campaign ad is any sign,

  • he's not taking any chances.

  • NARRATOR: There's a pandemic in America

  • of secret recordings.

  • For too long, ordinary Americans have lived in fear

  • of being taped by Bob Woodward,

  • Michael Cohen,

  • even Billy Bush.

  • BILLY BUSH: Yes! The Donald has scored!

  • (echoing laughter)

  • -♪ ♪ -But Donald Trump will put a stop to it.

  • In his second term, President Trump will outlaw all tapes,

  • delete all voice mails,

  • and destroy every microphone in the country.

  • (explosion)

  • In fact, let's ban taking notes, too.

  • Whatever happened to just remembering things?

  • Reelect Donald Trump,

  • because when that 3:00 a.m. phone call comes in,

  • you want to make sure it's not being tapped.

  • I'm Donald Trump, and I approve this message.

  • That's what I'll say to those idiots at the end of my ad.

  • -Hey, are you record... -(electronic feedback)

Donald Trump,

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