I feel like we have been at war in the seven years since you were diagnosed with hydrogen itis, Tsuper, TVA boils and lesions all over you cause me intense pain and fatigue.

Getting dressed takes me at least an hour.

I need daily naps.

I miss out events and celebrations.

I don't feel comfortable with you and others consents it.

Some days I'm angry that this disease has robbed us so much.

I hope to become a news reporter or television writer.

But the long days took a toll and we had to move on from those dreams.

Only recently did I realize that we're fighting this war not as enemies but together.

Although we were exhausted, I thank you for continuing to fight as we try new treatments, see specialists and go through surgeries Because of you, my capacity for empathy has greatly increased.

We've helped people feel less alone through essays, intimate conversations.

We've learned to relish the good days when we could make it to a friend's birthday, try any restaurants and take PD for a long walk way have been in that dark place.

Life doesn't feel worth living and we want to get off the train, but you've helped me move forward.

I'm grateful you're alongside me as I pursue my new dream, becoming a therapist who specializes in chronic illness, chronic pain and medical trauma.

Our burden is our gift.

I know we will still have days where we hate each other.

But I also know we will have days before John, despite the pain, and you'll do all you can so we can experience life to the fullest.