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  • "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone."

    「我以前一直認為,生命中最糟的事是最後獨自一人。」

  • "It's not."

    「但其實不是。」

  • "The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."

    「生命中最糟的事,是最後和會讓你覺得很孤獨的人在一起。」

  • Robin Williams.

    Robin Williams 說的。

  • Codependency is a potentially destructive state to be in.

    處在關係成癮的狀態具有潛在破壞性。

  • At its core, it means that you cannot be alone.

    關係成癮的核心就是你無法獨自一人。

  • And the consequence of this is an ongoing clinging to other people; no matter how bad they treat you.

    關係成癮的結果是,你會不斷黏著其他人,不論他們對你多差。

  • But it's an illusion to think that we need someone else to make us feel complete.

    但覺得自己需要某人才能完整,是個假象。

  • We don't.

    我們並不需要他們。

  • When we let our contentment depend on external things we have given our power away.

    當我們讓自身的滿足建立在外在事物上時,我們就把自身權力拱手讓出了。

  • As humans, we aren't islands.

    身為人類,我們不是孤島。

  • We need at least some form of social interaction to reproduce, and, in many cases, to survive.

    我們至少需要一些社交活動來繁衍,或以很多例子來說,才能活下去。

  • But, it's not necessary to have a relationship or a large social circle to be content.

    但靠一段關係或很大的社交圈來感到滿足,並非必要。

  • In many ways, social interaction can be harmful.

    於很多方面而言,社交活動可能帶來傷害。

  • Aside from bullying, manipulation, and exploitation by so-called "toxic individuals," being part of a group with a certain ideology can be detrimental to your identity as an individual.

    除了霸凌、操控、被所謂「有害人類」剝削之外,身為特定目標團體中的一份子,可能對你身為個體的身份認同有害。

  • You'll sacrifice your authenticity just to be part of something.

    你會犧牲真實自我,只為了身為某個東西的一份子。

  • The question is: why do we do this?

    問題在於:我們為何那麼做?

  • One of our greatest fears seems to be the fear of "ending up alone."

    我們最大的恐懼之一,似乎是「最後獨身一人」的恐懼。

  • That's why we stay friends with people that don't treat us well or stay in relationships tainted by domestic abuse, cheating, lying, and other destructive behaviors.

    這就是我們和對我們不好的人當朋友,或處在一段家暴、劈腿、說謊、和有其他破壞性行為的關係裡。

  • People can be very abusive.

    人可以非常虐待他人。

  • And, nonetheless, we feel a need to be liked by those that aren't good for us.

    但儘管如此,我們還是想被對我們不好的人喜歡。

  • We can have hundreds of friends and feel terribly alone.

    我們可以有上百位朋友,但還是覺得非常孤獨。

  • So, we try to find more friends, become more outgoing, do our very best to impress our environment, hoping that social acceptance eventually leads to the fulfillment we're looking for.

    所以我們試著交更多朋友、變得更外向,盡最大努力去討好我們的環境,希望社會上的認同,最終會成為我們在追尋的滿足感。

  • We can have thousands of followers on Instagram and as many likes on the things we post.

    我們可以在 IG 上有上千位追蹤者,也可以在發的文上有上千個讚。

  • We try to find that perfect relationship, hoping that this person makes us feel complete, which means asking our partners the impossible.

    我們試圖找到完美的關係,希望這個人可以讓我們感到完整,這對另一半來說根本是不可能的任務。

  • But at the end of the day, we lay in our beds, awake, asking ourselves why we feel so unfulfilled.

    但一天結束後,我們清醒地躺在床上,問著自己,為何我們感到那麼不滿足?

  • Well, the reason is two-fold.

    原因有兩層。

  • Firstly, it's because what we're looking for is already within us and because of our pursuit to find it, we cannot see it.

    第一,因為我們在追尋的東西其實就在自己身上,但因為我們向外追求,自然看不到。

  • Secondly, our ongoing pursuits are wearing us out, and the constant people-pleasing obstructs the development of our authentic selves.

    第二,不斷的追求讓我們疲累,持續地討好他人阻礙了我們對真正自我的發展。

  • Contentment is not to be achieved outside.

    滿意不是從外在被達成的。

  • It's achieved within.

    是從內在達成的。

  • We spend a lifetime trying to extract from the world, only to conclude that we still feel empty.

    我們耗費一生試圖從世界得到滿足,但結論是,我們仍感到空虛。

  • No amount of money, friends, or material possessions will do the job if our contentment isn't already internalized.

    如果我們沒有從內部追尋滿足感,不論有多少錢、多少朋友、多少財產都沒用。

  • Paradoxically, this contentment only reveals itself when we stop looking for it.

    矛盾地,滿足感只會在我們停止追尋時顯露自身。

  • It appears spontaneously when we're completely immersed in the present moment, consumed by what is, without the need for anything to change, without straining ourselves to be anywhere but in the here and now.

    當我們完全沈浸在某個時刻、被那刻佔據心靈,認為毋須做出改變,只要現在這一刻待在這裡、不再絞盡腦汁想去某個地方時,滿足感就會突然出現。

  • It's effortless and conformable to the flow of life.

    在生命的起伏中,感到滿足不需費力、是很舒適的。

  • So, when we catch ourselves in the experience of complete contentment, we might want to ask ourselves if external validation is truly necessary to experience it, or, that our ongoing pursuit forlikesis actually counterproductive.

    所以當我們發現自己沈浸在完全的滿足中時,可以問問自己,要滿足是否一定要外在的認可,或是不斷追求「讚數」其實造成了反效果。

  • We're empty because we want to be filled.

    我們感到空虛,因為我們想被滿足。

  • But by embracing our emptiness, we eradicate this need to be filled, and, therefore, become full.

    但透過擁抱自身的空虛,我們根除了想被滿足的需求,因此心靈反而被填滿了。

  • If you're alone right now, I'd say: embrace it.

    如果你現在感到孤獨,我會告訴你:擁抱這感覺吧。

  • Realize that you don't need other people to feel content.

    要明白,其實你不需要其他人來讓自己感到滿足。

  • In fact, their presence may even prevent you from manifesting what you really are.

    事實上,別人的存在還可能阻礙你展現真正的自己。

  • There's no doubt in my mind that socializing can lead to a lot of joy, and that there's much happiness in sharing, helping, connecting, supporting.

    無庸置疑,社交可以帶來很多快樂,在分享、幫助、連結、支持上,也會帶來許多喜悅。

  • But there's a difference between the dependence on social interaction for the sake of one's search for completeness, and voluntary engagement with other people, without needing them to feel complete.

    但依賴社交來完整自己,與樂意和他人互動、而非靠他們來感到滿足,是有差別的。

  • You are enough.

    你的內心已經足夠了。

  • Thank you for watching.

    感謝觀看。

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone."

「我以前一直認為,生命中最糟的事是最後獨自一人。」

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