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Welcome, everybody, to our support group for introverts in the age of COVID.
Thank you for social distancing.
How are you guys doing?
Hey, I'm doing okay, I think I'm just a little nervous.
Nervous, okay, about what exactly?
I'm just not ready for things to be opening up already.
Okay, so you think it's unsafe?
I don't think so, I just don't wanna have to go back to needing a reason to cancel plans.
Oh my gosh, same!
Last year my grandma died eight times.
Wait, what?
I know, it was a nightmare keeping things straight.
She had three car accidents, pneumonia, and Dengue fever.
I'm shocked I didn't tell someone the same story twice.
Maybe I did, and they just assumed my grandpa remarried a lot.
Totally.
At least now I can say stuff like: "Oh, it's a shame we can't go grab a beer, maybe when things are back to normal."
They know I don't mean it, I know I don't mean it, but at least it looks like I made an effort.
So, you don't actually want to see your friends again?
No, I do, I just like the system we have now.
We meet outside a restaurant, we grab takeout, we go to a park and eat away from everybody else.
No extra people, it's perfect.
You know you can do that anyway, right?
That's literally just a picnic.
Well, yeah, but right now I have a built-in eject button.
So if I'm not feeling up to it on the day of, I just say: "Oh, I've got a little cough, I've got a fever," and boom, two weeks of guilt-free me-time, baby.
That is brilliant.
What if you guys just turn down plans directly?
I don't wanna do that, I'm not great with conflict.
It took me two-and-a-half years to tell my dad he was saying my girlfriend's name wrong.
We almost broke up over it.
Plus, if you keep turning things down, you stop getting invited.
Is that a problem?
Uh, of course!
Just because I don't wanna go doesn't mean I don't wanna be invited.
I want to know they're thinking of me from a distance.
Exactly!
Man, it is great to know I'm not the only person who feels like that.
This is a great moment, I'm glad you guys have so much in common.
You can work together to get more comfortable at making plans.
Maybe after tonight's meeting.
That sounds like a great idea, I'd love to, but tonight's not good for me.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, me neither.
In fact, I'm feeling kind of, like, a little bit of a tickle in my throat.
Probably nothing, but you can't be too careful.
Of course, next time though, for sure.
It's just my grandma right now, she's a little bit under the weather.
Oh yeah, yeah, definitely, once things are back to normal.
We'll do it, and we'll grab a beer.
Perfect.
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內向人在疫情隔離狀況下的爆笑心聲 (Introverts right now be like...)

4771 分類 收藏
Seraya 發佈於 2020 年 7 月 20 日    Seraya 翻譯    adam 審核
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