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-The following video may contain sexy content.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Well, hello there. I'm Jasper St. Mirth.
Do you love Christmas music, but wish it was less cheerful
and more sexy? [ Laughter ]
Well then, you naughty minx.
[ Laughter ]
Your dirty Christmas wish just came true.
[ Laughter ]
'Cause you're going to love this new album
from the man who brought you "A Legendary Christmas"
and "A Legendary Christmas: The Deluxe Edition."
It's "John Legend Presents: Sexiest Elf Alive."
And it's full -- [ Cheers and applause ]
And it's full of all the sexiest, sultriest,
nastiest Christmas songs out there.
Just listen to this sensual rendition of "Jingle Bells."
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Put some tassels on your nips ♪
♪ And let them swing away, hey ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow.
Titillating. [ Laughter ]
And that's not all.
This album has so much more, including steamy songs like,
"Oh Ho -ly Night." [ Laughter ]
"Silver Balls." [ Laughter ]
"Frosty the Blowman." [ Laughter ]
Just feast your nasty little ear holes on this piping hot track.
♪♪
-♪ All I want for Christmas is my first three-way ♪
♪ My first three-way ♪
♪ My first three-way ♪
♪ Gee if I could only have my first three-way ♪
♪ I could finally kiss your sister ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-"Sexiest Elf Alive" also includes a bunch of songs
with the word "sexy" just haphazardly thrown in.
[ Laughter ] Songs like,
"Grandma Got Run Over by a Sexy Reindeer."
[ Laughter ] "God Rest Ye Merry Sexy Men,"
and "I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In,
and They Were All Full of Hot, Sexy, Single Brazilian Models."
[ Laughter ] Plus, this arousing update to
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
♪♪
♪ You know Dasher and Dancer ♪
♪ And Prancer and Vixen ♪
♪ Mmm ♪
♪ Comet and Cupid ♪
♪ And Donner and Blitzen ♪
♪ But do you recall ♪
♪ The most sexiest reindeer of all? ♪
♪ Whoo ♪ [ Laughter ]
♪ Rudolph the well-hung reindeer ♪
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪ Had a sexy flowing mane ♪
♪ And even human women ♪
♪ Would see Rudolph and say "dang, dang" ♪
[ Laughter ] ♪ All of the other reindeer ♪
♪ Wished that they were him, of course ♪
♪ 'Cause he had the biggest... ♪
♪ Antlers ♪
♪ And was hung just like ♪
♪ A horse ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
♪ He had a big ♪
♪ Dick ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you!
♪♪
-Don't wait.
Order your copy of
"John Legend Presents: Sexiest Elf Alive" today,
and soon you'll be asking yourself,
"Is it hot in here, or is it just Christmas?"
[ Laughter ] Sold exclusively
in the back room at Spencer's. [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
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John Legend Presents: Sexiest Elf Alive

82 分類 收藏
林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 7 月 3 日
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