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  • -I have a card here that says three things on it.

  • And one of them may be true and none of them may be true,

  • do you mind if I read these things.

  • -Are they things that I said? -Yes.

  • You said these three things. None of them may be true,

  • but I think I know one of them must be true.

  • -This doesn't seem real. -No, it's real.

  • -Okay. Let's see. -You can't set him up for that.

  • -Okay well, you've watched the movie "Step Brothers"

  • more than any other film. Okay? That's number one.

  • -You want me to sa-- -No, no, that's number one.

  • -Am I just listening? -Yes.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -This is a listening show. [ Laughs ]

  • Like, guests, come on and listen to me talk.

  • -I feel like I'm being hypnotized again.

  • -Welcome back to an all new boring "Tonight Show."

  • Alright. Number two -- You love reality TV

  • and think reality TV stars are the best actors in the world.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Number three, one of your nicknames is kitten.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • All right, let me take a guess. I'm gonna circle my answer,

  • then I'm going to ask the audience,

  • then I'm going to ask you what your thing is.

  • [ Mutters ] That, nah, you wouldn't do that.

  • That? Maybe, possibly, nah. I'd say oh, you said that.

  • But you were being funny.

  • This is how, this is the game I play with a you.

  • With a you.

  • Uh. Uh. I'm going to say that one.

  • Audience, is it one?

  • -Nobody remembers what it was. [ Laughter ]

  • -It was only 30 seconds ago, what are you talking about?

  • What do you mean, what number one?

  • -Can one person remember what the first answer was?

  • -Alright look -- -"Step Brothers."

  • -"Step Brothers."

  • You've seen "Step Brothers" more than any other film?

  • -You guys listen to him? -Yeah.

  • -I've never -- Listen.

  • You've seen "Step Brothers" more than any other film?

  • -Yeah, okay. -Number two, you love reality TV

  • and think reality TV stars are the best actors in the world.

  • Anyone on that one? [ Cheering ]

  • -Number three, one of your nicknames is kitten.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -So what does that mean? -I circled number three.

  • One of your nicknames is kitten.

  • I think I believe that to be true --

  • -Now, what are you saying that it's true

  • or that I said these things. -I think that's true.

  • -But I didn't say it? [ Laughter ]

  • -The more I think about this, I mean I didn't --

  • my segment producer set this up for me.

  • The more I think about it, I don't know

  • if any of these are true.

  • But I call you Joaq. -Why?

  • Well, your name's Joaquin I feel like that's too long for me.

  • -You can handle it. I feel like you can handle it.

  • -I save a little energy -You do the Monologue

  • every night. -Yeah, but I save

  • a little energy by calling you Joaq, don't have to do the quin.

  • -Okay. -You know?

  • -That's a good part. -Hello, Joaq.

  • -Oh, okay. -You know? And I like guacs.

  • I like guacs. You know? I like guac.

  • Hey, guac is extra. That should be the --

  • That should've been the headline of "Vanity Fair" --

  • the guac is extra. -Yeah, good.

  • -Alright. I don't know if any of these are real or true or not.

  • But, do you know if any of these are true?

  • -Um, what do you mean true?

  • That's what I'm trying to understand.

  • You say did I say these things or are they true or both?

  • What is the question? -The question is,

  • are any of these true? -Okay.

  • Okay, I think that I said -- -No, it's not about you said.

  • See you're really good. You're honor, you're honor.

  • He's under oath. -Okay, they're not all true.

  • -We make you put your hand on a Bible before you come out here.

  • -They're not all true. -They're not all true, yeah.

  • But one might be true. [ Laughter ]

  • And is the one that might be true,

  • the one that we all think is true.

  • Is one of your nicknames kitten? [ Laughter ]

  • -You're feeling very sleepy. -[ Laughing ] Oh, my gaw!

  • That's ridiculous. -Yeah.

  • -I don't -- the two of them were --

  • I was just joking around. -Yeah, I don't "Step brothers,"

  • I assume you love that movie.

  • You didn't see it more times than any other film, though,

  • it's impossible. -I have.

  • -You really have? -Yeah.

  • -That's the one? -Yeah, it's true.

  • -That's the one? -Yeah.

  • That's good, I like -- I love hearing that.

  • We got a little fact from Joaquin, who knows if it's real.

  • But that's cool. [ Laughter ]

  • I've seen "Peewee's Big Adventure"

  • more than any other film. -Yeah, that's a great one.

  • -Yeah it's a classic.

  • Let's talk about, speaking of classics,

  • let's talk "Joker." Man, oh, man, you're awesome in this.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -I haven't. -You haven't even seen it yet?

  • -Yeah. That's what I was gonna say.

  • -People are excited about it. -Uh-huh.

  • -You're fantastic in it, it's all you, man.

  • You're driving this train, car?

  • What vehicle do you think this movie is.

  • What type of -- form of transportation.

  • -[ Laughs ] I'm not sure. -I'm sorry.

  • so look, so wait, no, I'm sorry.

  • So you didn't, since you're in the movie. But it really is you.

  • And then I see you go a little mad in some scenes.

  • I feel like you've gone nuts in this thing.

  • You don't pick these roles where it's like --

  • why don't you just pick a role where you just go to Hawaii

  • and you're on the beach and you're goofing off

  • with your buddies?

  • -It's like every actor's dream part, that's the thing.

  • -Yeah. -You make it,

  • and then you do the movie. -You go to Hawaii

  • and goof off with your buddies for two hours.

  • -You'd be bored. -You would be bored?

  • [Bleep] you need to do the laugh and the whole thing

  • and you're coughing, don't you think?

  • -You don't need to do all that. -You did it,

  • and then you did dance.

  • -Let me see the dance. That was adorable. Show that to me.

  • Aw! -Dude, you're really,

  • it's insane. You're fantastic in it.

  • Basically, to set it up is you are --

  • it-it-it's there is no, there are no superheroes in this film?

  • It's just kind of a making of a villain

  • that's what I would -- if I was a film critic.

  • It's not that great. Is it off a little bit?

  • -I mean, you're great in general.

  • But that wasn't the best. -It wasn't the best thing?

  • No, it's about how you can beat a human being down.

  • -But don't tell anyone, it's okay let them just see it.

  • -Just see the movie? -Or not.

  • -Or not. You know what the movie's about, kind of, right?

  • Yeah. So you don't need me. You don't need me.

  • [ Talking over each other ] -It's cool.

  • -No, come back, come back. Come on, man.

  • Oh, no, no, no, no. Come back! Don't do that.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -All right, welcome back.

  • we got a great guest tonight, Jimmy Fallon.

  • [ Cheers and applause ] All right, welcome back.

  • Alright. Sit right here Come on in.

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -It is, um. It's so funny.

  • -I'm reading your text messages of somebody saying heavy.

  • -Well, I have to lose a little weight.

  • I'm a little heavy, yeah. But I got it figured out.

  • You lost weight for this film. -Uh-huh.

  • -And I read somewhere you said you lost 50 pounds?

  • -No, 15. Wait did you say 50? -Oh, who cares.

  • -Five-oh? -Yeah, five-oh.

  • -No, one-five. 15. -Oh, 15?

  • -They didn't pay me that much. [ Laughter ]

  • -Yeah, Well I'm just happy to be here and talk about the film,

  • "Joker," it was great to get in there and, like, really --

  • [ Chatter ]

  • Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it, we'll cut it out Later.

  • -Don't tell, don't tell them.

  • I didn't know the microphone was on.

  • -[ Clears throat ] Getting in there, Todd, I call him T.P.

  • Todd Phillips. I call him T.P.

  • And he was kind of cool, because he was like a teepee

  • to me a little bit, like, he was my home for a long time.

  • I basically felt like I lived inside of him,

  • when I was playing Joker. And I'd come out of the teepee.

  • I was like, "Time to film." [ Laughter ]

  • I go, all right, "What's for breakfast, daddy?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -And he would get, "What's for breakfast

  • is this scene right here, get into it.

  • And eat it all up." And I did.

  • I think what you'll see here in this clip is me

  • taking the script and making it the best I can make it.

  • And thanks to T.P.'s work and everybody involved in editing,

  • and the soundtrack and everything.

  • It turned out pretty well and I hope you enjoy it.

-I have a card here that says three things on it.

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A2 初級

華金-菲尼克斯和吉米-法倫交換位置。 (Joaquin Phoenix and Jimmy Fallon Trade Places)

  • 7 1
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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