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  • My next guest is hilarious.

  • I love her so much.

  • She's one of my and Dakota Johnson's favorite comedians.

  • Please welcome Tig Notaro.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Oh, cheers.

  • Happy holidays to you.

  • Happy holidays.

  • Thanks for being here.

  • Last minute, we called you because I wanted to have you

  • on because I love you.

  • And there's a story that you'd never told.

  • First of all, we have to talk about Under A Rock.

  • Sorry I touched you.

  • I always--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Under A Rock, your talk show, is streaming second season

  • on Funny or Die.

  • It's very-- are you having fun?

  • You stopped before you said very funny.

  • It's very funny.

  • Thank you.

  • Are you having fun?

  • I'm having a great time.

  • Good.

  • Second season?

  • Second season.

  • And now there's something else that we

  • might be doing together that--

  • I know.

  • I can't wait.

  • Yep, all right.

  • It's only you that I point to like that a lot.

  • It's whenever you're here.

  • And then we hold-- oh, that's your hand.

  • She kissed her own hand.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • All right, so-- you have to tell the story about the roommate

  • that you had.

  • I don't remember when it was.

  • But the roommate you had and the whole peanut butter thing.

  • Did I tell you that story.

  • You told me, yes.

  • It's very funny.

  • Wait, are you being serious?

  • Yeah.

  • No, this is a bit.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Well, you're not helping the bit if it is.

  • I remember the story now.

  • I had a roommate that loved peanut butter.

  • Right, that's the story.

  • That was the end of it?

  • No, no, the whole story.

  • Oh my God.

  • That was the punch line.

  • You went right to the punch line.

  • But tell the middle part.

  • I don't know how to tell a joke or a story.

  • But I-- this guy loved--

  • It was a woman.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • It started out as a guy, became a woman.

  • Remember that?

  • You're so bad at that.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • (SINGING) It's the most wonderful time of the year.

  • With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you

  • be of good cheer, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

  • It's the happ-- happiest season of all.

  • Am I ruining everything?

  • (SINGING) With those holiday greetings

  • and gay happy meetings--

  • Day three is all about some of the hottest gadgets

  • this holiday season.

  • And when I think of hot gadgets, I immediately think of Tig.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Weird, I think of George Foreman.

  • Huh.

  • Let's see how good you are at this, Tig.

  • If I wanted to make a milkshake to bring

  • all the boys to the yard, what would

  • be the best gadget to use?

  • Well, Ellen, I know you do love to bring

  • all the boys to the yard.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • The new Calphalon ActiveSense Blender

  • can blend anything from milkshakes to salsa, Ellen,

  • to your morning juice.

  • It features technology that adjusts

  • blades speed direction and the time for perfect results.

  • What?

  • You're all getting this Calphalon Blender.

  • [CHEERING]

  • That was really good, Tig.

  • Now, let's see if you can solve my need for music in the house.

  • Sure, Ellen.

  • But I don't know why I have to solve all of your problems.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Como Audio offers beautifully designed portable, multi room

  • Wi-Fi audio for indoor, outdoor, anytime, or anywhere music.

  • Connect to everything you need, Ellen--

  • streaming internet, FM, Bluetooth, and Spotify

  • all with the touch of a button.

  • What?

  • You're all getting this $400 [INAUDIBLE] speaker.

  • [CHEERING]

  • Hey, Tig.

  • Hey.

  • Don't you hate it when you're at the mall and you come out

  • and you see someone's hit your car.

  • And you think what if my car had a camera that

  • recorded the accident so I could find out who hit me

  • and sue them?

  • Well, Ellen, those are very specific circumstances.

  • And I can't believe this gift even exists.

  • But the Nextbase Dash is a camera

  • that you put in your car.

  • Ellen, it's the ultimate co-pilot

  • because it keeps your family safe

  • and gives you crystal clear footage in case of an accident.

  • What did The New York Times say?

  • Well, I'm about to tell you.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Ellen, The New York Times awarded it the best dash cam.

  • And it has built-in Alexa, emergency SOS,

  • and intelligent parking.

  • You're all getting a dash cam and a $300 Best Buy gift card.

  • [CHEERING]

  • Here?

  • No, no, back over here.

  • Oh, OK.

  • Tig--

  • We don't have time for silliness.

  • Tig, this next gift really sucks, but in a good way.

  • It sure does, Ellen.

  • The PURE ONE S12 Plus is the first cordless vacuum

  • with a sensor that can detect dust levels and suction power.

  • Ellen, it allows for a deeper, longer, and smarter cleaning

  • with less effort.

  • Ellen, it even sends alerts to your phone, to your landline,

  • to let you know when it's running low on battery.

  • What can't this thing do?

  • Tig, I love when you say my name that often.

  • I love you, too, Ellen.

  • You're all getting this $600 Tineco vacuum.

  • [CHEERING]

  • The greatest comedy duo ever.

  • Ever.

  • Ever.

  • Hey, Tig.

  • Yeah, Ellen.

  • How do you like to-- come here.

  • Not with the vacuum.

  • OK, you can keep it.

  • How do you like to unwind?

  • Ellen, I have two kids.

  • So like any parent, I like to unload them on a--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • --family member and high tail it to Vegas.

  • You know that.

  • [CHEERING]

  • But where?

  • Wait?

  • Where?

  • Vegas.

  • This resort has first--

  • has a world class dining, including

  • restaurants by celebrity chefs like Bobby Flay, Ellen.

  • They also have the brand new bohemian style

  • spa featuring a variety of treatments to relax and unwind,

  • Ellen.

  • Along with massage treatments and a dinner for two,

  • you're all getting a three day, two night

  • stay at the Palms Casino Resort.

  • [CHEERING]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • (SINGING) It's the most wonderful time of the year.

  • With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good

  • cheer, it's the most --

  • Be kind to one another.

  • Bye-bye.

  • (SINGING) It's the happ-- happiest season of all.

  • With those holiday greetings and gay--

  • Hi, I'm Andy.

  • Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel

  • so you can see more awesome videos,

  • like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,

  • like ball peen hammer, and also some videos of Ellen

  • and other celebrities, if you're into that sort of thing.

  • [SCREAMS]

  • [BLEEP] God!

  • [BLEEP]

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

My next guest is hilarious.

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B1 中級

Tig Notaro和Ellen展示了12天中的第三天的熱門小玩意。 (Tig Notaro & Ellen Show Off Hot Gadgets for Day 3 of 12 Days)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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