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  • It's good to see you.

  • Good to see you.

  • You look good.

  • You looking sleepy?

  • No, no.

  • I had some coffee to balance everything out.

  • All right then.

  • She ready.

  • I'm ready.

  • I usually just have one cup, so I had two.

  • You had two?

  • Yep.

  • All right.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I believe you.

  • I'm not high, I'm just, you know.

  • Mm-hm!

  • I just have some Advil and Tylenol and stuff.

  • Mm-hm!

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I want some of whatever you got from that doctor.

  • I'll have the doctor give you a shot in your butt.

  • Yes!

  • As long as it's not the Depo shot.

  • I'm trying let these eggs flow.

  • Oh, really?

  • No.

  • Oh.

  • I thought you were going to let us in on something.

  • No.

  • The last time you were here, you were with Elisabeth Moss

  • and Melissa McCarthy.

  • Are those the names of the people?

  • Yes.

  • Those are the names.

  • Yeah.

  • So we tried to scare Melissa but we got you accidentally.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, I don't like--

  • here's my thing.

  • I'm from the streets.

  • Now anybody jump out on me--

  • Sure.

  • --you liable to get hit.

  • And I was afraid.

  • Yeah?

  • But more so for them because I was about to hit somebody.

  • Right.

  • OK.

  • You see how that arm came back?

  • Because it was gonna come back like this.

  • Yeah.

  • You'd had gotten Elisabeth.

  • You would've hit her in the face.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • I do worry about that happening one day.

  • Now, do you like to get scared?

  • No, I don't.

  • Except for one time during the year

  • I'll go to like a haunted house or to like

  • Universal or something like that for Halloween time.

  • Right.

  • And all my year's frustration I store up.

  • So when I go there and people scare me

  • I could just scream out all my pain and all those tweets,

  • all those comments people leave that I don't like.

  • It all comes out right there!

  • Wow.

  • I like that.

  • Well that's when you're going to punch somebody, right there.

  • Well, no.

  • I scream so hard that my fist don't come--

  • Let's do it together.

  • Do you want to go through one together for Halloween?

  • Sure.

  • Yeah.

  • You know, Andy, we send him every year.

  • If you haven't seen Andy's, they're--

  • I've seen Andy.

  • OK.

  • But we should maybe the three of us go.

  • Oh, yeah, let's go.

  • All right, I'll go because I haven't been through one.

  • You haven't?

  • No, I never have.

  • And there are some scary ones this year.

  • Let me tell you, I don't do dead people.

  • OK.

  • I don't do dead people.

  • If dead people show up it's going to be a situation.

  • OK.

  • But anything else scary is fine, just not dead people?

  • Not dead people.

  • All right, fine.

  • We'll find one with dead people.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I mean, of course you tell us that, we're

  • going to have to do that.

  • When are you turning--

  • Well then, no sexy men.

  • I'm very afraid.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I'm very, very afraid of attractive males.

  • If you've got any of them there with no shirt on, [SQUEALS]

  • So scary!

  • All right.

  • Well, we'll listen to you on that one.

  • We will not bring them around.

  • So when are you turning 40?

  • Soon, right?

  • I'm never going to be 40, but I am turning 21 for the 19th year

  • really soon.

  • In December I'll be 21 for the 19th year.

  • Come on.

  • There's nothing wrong with-- you should embrace that.

  • I am embracing it for the 19th time of me turning 21.

  • No.

  • I understand.

  • And you look really good.

  • I heard that you made some changes to your life.

  • What have you done?

  • Yeah.

  • Well, I've stopped smoking--

  • Good for you.

  • --a year ago.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • A year ago?

  • A year ago.

  • How did you do it?

  • YouTube videos is how I stopped smoking.

  • I watched the YouTube videos of "Easy Way to Stop Smoking"

  • and We Can Hypnotize You in Eight Hours to Stop Smoking."

  • And I would play those while I sleep.

  • And then after like five days, I just

  • didn't want to smoke no more.

  • Now I have been eating like it ain't nobody's business.

  • And so to counteract that I started--

  • on the 4th of July when I stopped smoking a year

  • ago-- the 4th of July this year, I started working out.

  • And I found some cheat machines.

  • So I've been doing like a cheat machine

  • that you only work out for 20 minutes

  • and it's equivalent to working out for a whole week.

  • It's rich people stuff.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What machine is this?

  • What are you talking about?

  • It's called the cheat machine.

  • Girl, I'll send you the stuff later.

  • OK.

  • Because I don't want everbody to go to there because then I

  • won't get my 20 minutes, you feel me?

  • Well, if we say it maybe they'll give you another one free.

  • What's the name of it?

  • It's just called the cheat machine?

  • I know it as the cheat machine and a co-hip machine.

  • There's three machines.

  • There's two cheat machines and then a co-hip machine.

  • Then they got this other machine that squeeze your legs.

  • And then they got another machine where you ride the bike

  • and you put this face mask on and it

  • looks like you turned me to a Transformer,

  • but what you transforming into is a sexy model.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • All right.

  • It's a place in Santa Monica called Bulletproof.

  • That's where they are?

  • Mm-hm.

  • But here's why I don't trust any of what you just said.

  • Because I read this morning in the meeting preparing for this,

  • that you put Vicks VapoRub rub on your stomach because why?

  • Because it helps to eliminate fat cells.

  • That is not true.

  • Yes it does!

  • OK, let me tell you something.

  • What is fat made of?

  • Mucus.

  • When do you use Vicks VapoRub--

  • No its not.

  • --to put on your chest?

  • To get rid of mucus.

  • [LAUGHING, APPLAUSE]

  • Something else I learned from YouTube.

  • I learned that on YouTube.

  • It works.

  • No, no.

  • It makes you smooth for a day.

  • Let me just explain to you that fat is not made of mucus.

  • What is fat made of?

  • It's fatty tissue in your body.

  • What is fatty tissue?

  • Well it's not mucus.

  • When you melt it it is.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • When you melt fat it's mucus?

  • It's mucus.

  • No it is not.

  • No it is not.

  • Yes it is.

  • And you put it on everyday thinking you're--

  • I don't put it on everyday.

  • Just mostly at night and I rub it on my stomach and then

  • I Saran wrap it. then I put my corset on.

  • I've lost three inches on my waistline.

  • Don't be hating.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • I'm melting it.

  • You can put butter or mayonnaise.

  • If you're putting cellophane--

  • But see, I don't do dairy products.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That is where fat is made of.

  • That's right.

  • Which is what?

  • Mucus.

  • No, it is not.

  • Yes it is.

  • No it isn't.

  • Milk, milk, mucus.

  • milk--

  • All right.

  • --milk, mucus.

  • During this break, we're going to have someone look up

  • what fat is made of.

  • Mucus.

  • Which is fat.

  • Made of mucus.

  • We'll take a break.

  • We'll be back with Tiffany.

It's good to see you.

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蒂芙尼-哈迪什分享她的燃脂祕訣 (Tiffany Haddish Shares Her Fat Burning Secret)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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