I am coming to you once again from my living room.

A lot of you have been asking where my pets are.

And thank you for your concern.

They're hanging out actually in the den.

That's where the TV is, and like my mother

they prefer Judge Judy.

So that's OK.

I don't mind.

It is June, and that means it's LGBT Pride Month.

Yay gay!

This month has extra significance to me this year.

I know because of the protest of the people before me

I can sit here today talking to you, so I thank them for that.

So thank you.

[APPLAUSE]

For all the people before me who have given me this ability

to be open and honest and out.

Every year at this time, we look back

and I present awards to some of the people who have made me

laugh the most over the year.

Right now it's time for the ninth annual Ellen Awards.

Already?

Wow.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OK.

All right.

Andy, have you ever won an Ellen Award?

That's a good question.

No.

I haven't.

Well, maybe this is your year.

We'll see.

All right, we're going to begin with the first award.

It's for best tea.

This season I started playing a new game called Spill the Tea.

This award is given to the contestant who

shared the best secret about themselves,

and the award goes to.

Open the envelope.

The winner is Carol for her first appearance

on Spill the Tea.

Let's see.

[BUZZER]

Wow.

All right.

McKenna, which is yours?

I have a tattoo on my butt that matches my ex.

You have a tattoo.

You have a tattoo.

All right, and you got stood up by Justin Bieber.

I did.

Well in-- how?

Well, it was my 10th birthday.

And he told me you would go on Space Mountain with me,

and I kind of waited around for him and he never showed up.

Aww.

And what is yours?

I'm the paper towels.

I knew it.

I knew she--

I don't know why.

I'm weird.

Oh my God, you got a boob job?

And your dad doesn't know?

[CHEERING]

I had that.

Oh my God.

Congratulations Carol.

This next award celebrates millennials.

I'm sure you know who millennials are.

They're the ones who already moved back

in with their parents before it was required by law.

Since this award is for millennials,

it's not about winning or losing.

So we're actually calling it the millennial participation award.

I'll open the envelope.

And the award goes to my audience member

Marli for participating in my millennial challenge

for using a rotary phone.

OK.

OK.

So I need to spin this.

OK.

No!

Oh my gosh.

OK.

I just spin it to this.

To the eight.

And then to the one.

Ah!

Eight, one, one eight.

There's a lot of eights.

Eight eight four five zero Hello?

[DIAL TONE]

Congratulations.

So far I have zero awards.

Not yet.

It's not over.

Now it's time to celebrate something

that's very, very short.

Oh, this could be the one, Andy, for you.

Do you have anything worth celebrating that's short?

No?

This award is for the shortest celebrity interview.

Let's see who it is.

Oh, and the winner is Reese Witherspoon for her World Hello

Day interview.

Well, I'm sure you all know today is World Hello Day.

It's a real thing.

So I thought I would call someone and say hello.

So I am going to call my friend Reese Witherspoon.

[CHEERING]

See if she's home.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Hey, Reese?

Yeah.

It's Ellen.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

How are you?

Hello.

Bye.

Remember that, Andy?

Yeah, I do.

OK.

I'm sort of trying to be focused on if I'm getting anything.

We're getting to the big categories now.

This award is for Best Actress in a Hidden Camera Bit.

The winner is Melissa McCarthy for pretending

to faint at the dry cleaners.

Here's one.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, you fool me once, you're

not going to fool me again.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on you for fooling me, and shame on you.

Shame on you.

Start to fall asleep.

Fall down.

Go down on the ground.

On the ground.

Just yell, Emilio Estevez.

Why don't you sit down?

Emilio Estevez.

Do you know who Alexa plays?

Ellen DeGeneres.

Ellen DeGeneres.

Ellen DeGeneres.

And she's been telling me what to say this whole time.

She's been telling me what to say the whole time.

There's cameras everywhere.

There's cameras everywhere.

Are you serious?

No way.

That was a tricky one for her.

That was-- that kind of went in a different direction for us.

Sure did.

All right, we reached the final award.

Andy has been shut out so far.

But this is for best fall.

Let's see who the winner is.

[TAPPING]

Oh, we're getting a drum roll from tWitch.

Thank you.

Thank you, tWitch.

Thank you.

Who's it?

Does it say who won?

This has never happened before.

This is a five way tie between Andy Lassner, Andy Lassner,

or Andy Lassner, and Andy Lassner.

Wow.

Wow.

Let's see.

I like supporting organizations like Los Angeles Children's

Hospital.

We're going to round it up to 10.

[LAUGHING]

Congratulations, Andy.

You want to give a speech?

Thank you.

Ellen.

We don't have time.

OK.

Let's take a break.