You might be familiar with their heroism defeating an dross and saving coronary a multiple times.

But you probably have no idea what happened to the Starbucks crew after the space saga came to a close.

I'm Jocelyn the intern.

I do all the research nobody else wants to straight from the desk of Death battle.

You might not know it, but the Nintendo DS games star Fox Command, is the definitive end to the Siri's.

As it stands, despite its less than stellar sales in critical response Star Fox Command is the most in depth game in the franchise, with a total of nine.

Count them nine different endings for Fox McLeod and his gang.

Some have pretty happy outcomes, but most of them held.

Most are just flat out depressing.

But one thing they all have in common is that they're batch it crazy.

Before we get into the darker stuff.

Let's take a look at one of the happier endings in the game called Goodbye Fox, where for no good reason, the team decides to disband.

Fox and Crystal settled down together.

Fox and Crystal settled down live a quiet life and never fly again because reasons.

Oh, who's Krystal?

She's that blue fox bimbo from star Fox adventures.

Fox loves the shit out of her, and she's a bit of a tramp.

That's all you need to know.

Their kid Marcus joins the coronary in Army, and it's a total badass pilot.

Go figure.

Marcus forms a new star Fox team with Sleepy's Cowboy son, a bunny wearing earthworm Jim for a suit, and old grumpy Falco with a random gold leg.

And that's that story over.

Of course, this is only one of the nine endings before this.

You have to beat the game with its default ending first, and that one is nowhere near as happy.

It starts pretty much like every ending ever.

The dust settles, the world is at peace yada, yada, yada.

But then you get your first spoonful of sad When Bam!

Right in the heart, the love of Fox's life leaves him to join Star Wolf.

You know, the evil, fearsome foursome whose day job is to kill Fox, and she doesn't just betray the team.

Oh no, no.

She joined Star Wolf because she's been cheating on Fox with their team member.

Panther.

I told you she was a tramp.

Just look at how sad Fox is.

He's crying like a little titty baby.

It gets worse to.

This is the line that closes Fox's story forever, folks.

McLeod was forced to wander the world alone and unloved.

Damn!

Remember, each of these endings are not just different endings to the game, but endings to the entire Siri's itself.

In The Star Wolf returns, ending star Wolf overtake star Fox as the premier mercenary group of the lilac system, and everyone everywhere is enamored with them except Crystal.

The galaxy hates crystal for dumping Fox, it straight up reads.

They begin to hiss as she walks by and named her trader to her face.

She is a known and hated look at them.

Point laugh.

It's like Space High School, and she pooped her pants in gym class yesterday.

And if that ugly thing finds her that pathetic, you know things are rough.

Years later, she bumps into Fox, who does not even recognise her.

Take that bitch, bam!

In your face!

So, yeah, star Fox has some pretty crazy endings.

There's one where Slippy Retires has like an army of Frog Babies and grows super old.

And that's all.

In another, Falco misses the final battle, gets really depressed and lonely, and then a cat named Cat calls him up.

It is all like a Let's make our own team called star Falco, because why the hell not?

So that happens.

All of these endings air strange, but they are nothing, absolutely nothing.

Compared to my personal favorite, this one blows the top off the WTF meter.

Okay, so Star Wolf gives Fox and Falco a tip toe.

Enter sector.

Why alone?

To destroy the robo reincarnation of pig mud.

The guy responsible for the death of Fox's father after murdering the treacherous swine.

See what I did there?

You think Fox would be pretty happy, right?

Wrong guess what?

It was a trick.

While Fox was avenging his dead dad, star Wolf saved the galaxy and earned the greatest honors and admiration.

All thanks to Fox is hard work as a plus.

They stole Fox's girlfriend to again.

When Fox finds out he has a meltdown of epic proportions.

Okay, so maybe he's not the most articulate space mammal in the galaxy.

Disgraced and depressed Fox and Falco leave everything and everyone behind to hide on a distant planet.

Quote.

Folks lived as one already dead.

Barely eating or sleeping does like the saddest thing ever.

Bonus.

Tip it.

In the Japanese version, it says that Fox started to binge eat, which is exactly what I did when my last boyfriend broke up with me.

Anyway.

In an attempt to cheer up his teary eyed buddy, Falco comes up with an idea, though.

Retire as pilots, modify their air rings into cars and enter into the G zero Grand Prix.

I shit you.

Not since they're bad asses.

Fox and Falco win race after race and eventually forget all about their previous space adventures because nothing cures depression like running away from your problems, right?

So that's it.

Until Nintendo finally decides to revive Star Fox.

This is how the whole series ends, strange, confusing and absurdly dismal.

Oh, and there's one other ending.

I just need to mention there's only one conclusion where the entire star Fox team sticks together.

And what's their final mission?

The last quest in the epic star Fox saga.

They all try to get slippy toad laid.

Good luck getting that idea out of your head.

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