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Boomstick: CAT-FIIIIIIIIGHT!

Wiz: It literally is, Boomstick!

Not only do we have two furrocious females on the ring today,

But they're also, well... cats.

Boomstick: Felicia, the popstar demon cat chick lady...

Wiz: And Taokaka, BlazBlue's speedy vigilante!

Boomstick: he's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out

Who would win a Death Battle!

Wiz: As a catwoman, Felicia faced discrimination all her life.

She was raised by a nun and aspired to become a successful pop star,

A passion that would ultimately lead her on a quest to bring humans and cat people together,

To make children happy.

Boomstick: What the hell!?

I thought we were talking about a deadly demon warrior, and...

Is she naked?!

Wiz: Yes.

Boomstick: But - she's a cat...

Wiz: Y-yes...?

Boomstick: Hmm...

You think it'd be wrong to-

Wiz: YES.

Felicia is a Darkstalker, a creature of the night,

And naturally possesses supernatural strength, speed and agility.

She can also use her unique cat sense to sniff out enemies from extreme distances

Boomstick: She can tear into her foes with the sharp claws resting in her big-ass paws,

Each several inches long and capable of tearing through all kinds of armor!

Wiz: To top it off, her tail is extremely strong, able to lift her entire body on its own.

She's undeniably one of the faster darkstalkers and can get around the battlefield with her unpredictable Rolling Smash, Delta Kicks and Rolling Buckler.

Boomstick: Fe-li-cia! She can really move! Fe-li-cia! She's got an ATTITU-

Wiz: YES, boomstick, we get it, she's like sonic!

Anyway, as a darkstalker, she has a natural affinity for magic,

Able to use it in the form of her only ranged attack - kicking sand.

Boomstick: At least she's litter box trained!

Wiz: As she was raised by a nun, even becoming one herself,

She has little to no combat training,

Preferring to focus on her singing career and running an orphanage.

As such, she relies on her lethal feral instincts in a fight.

Boomstick: But these same instincts also lead her to be easily distracted by ferocious enemies like

butterflies, rogue balls of yarn, and paper. That CRINKLES!

[Crinkling noise]

Wiz: The other Darkstalkers often consider Felicia to be the weakest of their kind.

But, with the help of her friends, she somehow manages to hold her own against Demon lords,

Spellcasters, and all-powerful aliens.

Boomstick: This is one cat you don't wanna cross!

Felicia: I sure could use a cat nap...

Boomstick: That chick wearing a cat hoodie?

Wiz: No, that's a special cloak designed to fit her Kaka body.

Boomstick: Her WHAT Body?

Wiz: Taokaka is a vigilante of the Kaka tribe.

A cat-like people descended from genetically engineered living weapons.

Her genetics provide her with a natural fighting instinct.

She is the guardian of the Kaka, implying that she is the best fighter of the group.

Boomstick: While she may be a good fighter, she is one dumb cat!

Wiz: Unfortunately, Tao has an INCREDIBLY severe case of ADHD.

While she hunts bounties, intent on improving her fighting skill and bringing money to her family,

She often winds up completely forgetting about her mission at the worst of times,

Often even befriending her would-be targets!

Boomstick: She has three retractable dual-edged blades on her hands and feet.

While they're not very long, they can transform from basic claws to hook-sized and saw blades! damn!

I don't even want to think what those things would do to my couch!

Wiz: Tao's genes allow her to instinctively access and utilize seithr,

A raw, powerful energy seeping through the air.

Tao can use seithr to empower and transform her claws, as well as to execute incredibly vicious attacks.

However, there is only so much seithr in a given space, and once she runs out

Tao will lose many of her deadliest attributes.

Boomstick: Also, apparently Tao likes to carry around a lot of random shit,

Which she then uses as projectiles during a fight.

Bowling balls, apple cores, pillo- a PILLOW? Really?

Wiz: She's the fastest of the BlazBlue cast, darting around the arena with incredibly fast combos.

However, she's also the weakest stamina-wise and doesn't have very many defensive options.

Boomstick: But if you want to kick her ass, you gotta catch her first!

Taokaka: Ah! It's the boobie lady!

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set - let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: After the thing people bitch about in the comments!

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Boomstick: But first, it's time for a CAT-FIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

Taokaka: ALRIGHT!

Taokaka: Whoops!

Felicia: No, no, noooo!

MREOOWEEORR!!!

Taokaka:Nya-ha, nya-ha, nya-haaaa!

Nyaaa-I'm bored.

Boomstick: Felicia just got put DOWN!

Wiz: So, this one was very close. Based on their movesets, Tao appeared to have a slight speed advantage.

Though Felicia had the endurance of a Darkstalker, tao's superior agility eventually gave her the win.

Boomstick: Not to mention, she's got freaking RAZOR BLADES for claws!

Felicia just took her final meow.

Wiz: The winner is Taokaka.

Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!

Wiz: As always, if you're a subscriber with an idea for a Death Battle, just leave a comment below.

Boomstick: Thanks for watching!