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  • B: This episode of DEATH BATTLE is brought to you by GoDaddy

  • *DEATH BATTLE theme*

  • W: Superheroines. Millions have been drawn to these modern myths of comic book law.

  • B: Or you could, ah, just be drawn to the way they're drawn.

  • W: Like Anna Marie, the Rogue...

  • B: ...and Diana Prince the Wonder Woman.

  • W: He's Boomstick and I'm Wizard.

  • B: And we're here to watch two chicks duke it out! CAT FIGHT!

  • W: It's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills...

  • B: ...and maybe a few other things...

  • W: To find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!

  • W: Rogue has possessed a variety of different powers over the years.

  • For this duel in particular, we will use the most well-known version...

  • The original iteration from the comics and television show.

  • Her deadliest weapon is her own skin. With just a touch she absorbs a person's memories, talents, personalities and abilities.

  • Whether superhuman or not to use them herself.

  • B: Too bad it knocks 'em out cold!

  • And if she holds on long enough, it's game over!

  • W: Tenacious foes like Juggernaut can resist it, bit in the end, nobody is safe from Rogue's parasitic touch.

  • For every second of contact, Rogue can keep these powers for a full minute.

  • Though, sometimes there's unforeseen side effects.

  • B: She held onto Miss Marvel for so long, she absorbed her powers permanently.

  • Now she's got super strength, speed and near invulnerability

  • Not that I blame her though. I'd be holding on to Miss Marvel for as long as I could.

  • Of course, then when she's unconscious, I could-

  • W: She also gained a seventh sense, the ability to subconsciously predict your opponent's moves.

  • B: but her 7th sense doesn't seem to always work. That or the riders just forgot about it 'cause, ah, Rogue gets her ass kicked a lot.

  • W: For plot convenience.

  • B: And damn, she's got a hot ass!

  • W: What?

  • B: Hey, that counts as a super-power my book, Wiz.

  • But while she's not invincible, she doesn't have any real weaknesses either.

  • She's a classy southern Belle who I'd like to take out to dinner.

  • W: Who can fly, lift buildings and kill people just by touching them.

  • B: Never mind!

  • "Ain't that enough?"

  • W: To the uneducated nerd, Wonder Woman may seem a cheap clone of Superman...

  • B: With super boobies!

  • W: But in reality, she's a whole different story!

  • W: Created from Earth, born by Gods, trained by ancient warriors...

  • B: Maker of Wonder Bread, designer of the Wonderbra!

  • W: Boomstick, that's not true!

  • B: See, I can do it too, Wiz!

  • W: Wonder Woman is the incredibly powerful and near invincible ambassador of Amascura and self-appointed protector of the Earth.

  • B: And she dresses like a stripper! A patriotic stripper!

  • W: Diana Prince has been trained by the Amazons as a master combatant since childhood.

  • She dueled the best of the best for the right to be crowned Wonder Woman.

  • Her unearthly powers are divine, granted by ancient Greek gods and goddesses.

  • From Demeter, she received superhuman strength and durability.

  • B: And you know that bitch mailman God with the wingy shoes?

  • W: Hermes?

  • B: Whatever.

  • He gave Wonder Woman the ability to fly and move at hypersonic speed.

  • She was given numerous other powers from enhanced senses, animal rapport and blessings of wisdom and empathy.

  • B: aside from the obvious cannons rested right below her neck, she's got a pretty bizarre mix of weaponry.

  • B: Her Lasso of Truth is a piece of unbreakable string that, well, makes you tell the truth.

  • "What other depraved thoughts must you be thinking?"

  • "God, your daughter's got a nice rack."

  • B: Hell yeah, she does!

  • W: She uses her tiara as a long-range throwing weapon using its razor sharp edge to slice open her enemy's throat.

  • B: Wonder Babe here wears the bracelets of submission, indestructible steel gauntlets forged from the remains of Zeus' legendary Aegis.

  • These babies can block all sorts of attacks.

  • W: She has persevered through out the years, fighting a huge variety of foes, even killing the Greek god of war, Ares.

  • B: Hear that, Kratos? A chick beat you to it!

  • "Let's see you smile now!"

  • W: All right, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!

  • B: But first, I need some singles for my very own wonder stripper, thanks to GoDaddy.

  • W: Webhosting from godaddy.com includes 99.9% up time, 24/7 support and free access to hosting connection.

  • W: THE place to install over 33 applications, sure to help you get the most from your hosting plan and websites.

  • B: Boomstick'sBlowUpTime.com is coming soon now!

  • W: And remember you can download GoDaddy's free iPhone, android or blackberry app to order right from your phone, manage your current domains and more.

  • Check out revision3.com/godaddy for a list of all the amazing GoDaddy deals from Revision3.

  • B: Now it's time for a CATFIGHT DEATH BATTLE!

  • "Good night, sugar!"

  • KO!

  • B: Woohoohoo! This goes down in history as the best Death Battle ever!

  • W: Poor Wonder Woman was more than a match for Rogue, but then she touched rogue's face.

  • Wonder Woman is a trained fighter so naturally she would strike her opponent's weakest spots, like the neck, stomach, joints and, well, face.

  • W: In the end, her failure was a result of her thorough Amazonian training.

  • B: And her stripper outfit!

  • Her leg was just begging to be grabbed there! Though personally, ah, I'm might have grabbed elsewhere.

  • W: Wonder Woman's powers may be godly, but Rogue's taken similar powers before so there's no reason to say she couldn't here.

  • Adding Wonder Woman's strength and speed to Rogue's own power gave her a huge advantage drastically turning the tide.

  • B: A few high-flying combos and our favourite X-girl had wonder woman on the ropes.

  • W: And with her combined reflexes, speed and 7th sense, she outmanoeuvred Wonder Woman with one fatal kiss.

  • B: Rogue sure made out in this fight!

  • W: The winner is Rogue.

  • B: Next time on DEATH BATTLE...

  • FIGHT!

  • W: Who do YOU want to see in a DEATH BATTLE? Leave a comment below.

B: This episode of DEATH BATTLE is brought to you by GoDaddy

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俠客 VS 神奇女俠 (Marvel VS DC) | 死亡之戰! (Rogue VS Wonder Woman (Marvel VS DC) | DEATH BATTLE!)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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