Boomstick: But they couldn't have done it without a little help

Wiz: The Sidekick. The people's champion would be lost without his Player Two.

Such as Luigi, Mario's younger brother.

Boomstick: And Tails the fox, Sonic's deformed, flying stalker.

Wiz: Now we have already proven that standard Mario and Sonic series' powerups perfectly counter each other

so --- to not waste time --- we're giving these second-strings only what is unique to them.

Boomstick: He's Whiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons,

armour, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.

*Classic Mario theme plays*

Wiz: After clobbering Koopas, besting Bowser, and saving the princess

who gets all the credit?

Boomstick: Mario, of course! Leaving his lanky brother with rejected sloppy seconds.

Wiz: No doubt Luigi has it rough. Despite being born as one of the seven Star Children destined for greatness,

it's not easy being second fiddle to the most popular character in video game history,

Yet he doesn't seem to mind.

Like a good sidekick, Luigi exists only to help Mario, never asking for his own slice of the cake.

Boomstick: So, he's pretty much a slave.

Wiz: In a way... but this devotion makes him the perfect teammate,

helping to save the Mushroom Kingdom time and time again.

Boomstick: What did Mario do to him to make him so obedient?

He's got to have some serious dirt from their childhood.

Wiz: Luigi may take subordination to an extreme but he's no pushover.

In fact, he's not only taller than Mario, but also faster and more athletic

He can jump over 6 feet higher

Plus, after studying Yoshi's superb jumping ability, Luigi developed his own variant of the dinosaur's floating technique -

the Scuttle Jump.

Boomstick: His abilities don't end with the mid-air hustle

Luigi has plenty of powerful attacks,

each of which, if pulled off perfectly, increase their damage for quick KOs

The spinning Luigi Cyclone, the rocketing Green Missile, and the Super Jump Punch

which can send his foe up in the air so high they never come back down!

Wiz: In addition, he has numerous powerups at his disposal

including his trusty hammer and the Vanish Power Flower which makes him invisible and intangible.

Luigi could be next to you, watching you... right now...

Boomstick: Ugh, stop that! He was trained by the Thunder God himself in the powerful Thunder Hand Technique.

With this he can shoot lightning at his foes or at deadly soccer balls.

Wiz: And after spending so much time in Mario's shadow, Luigi has somehow gained

the ability to manipulate some sort of negative energy.

Boomstick: Remember when Mario Bros. was about running around and jumping on turtles?

Anyway, you were saying something about physics breaking time energy or whatever?

Wiz: Luigi's Negative Zone can devastate a nearby opponent.

Its effects are random but unavoidable,

ranging from sudden dizziness to uncontrollable tripping over absolutely nothing.

Boomstick: But when Luigi wants real firepower, he busts out the Poltergust 5000 -

a handy vacuum cleaner which can somehow kill ghosts.

It can kill that which is already dead.

Wiz: He ain't afraid of no ghosts!

*Luigi screams in fright*

Wiz: Scratch that. He's afraid of all ghosts, bugs, water, flowers, the sun...

Luigi is a coward and doesn't even try to hide it.

Granted, his fears are usually justified...

Usually.

Boomstick: He's also pretty clumsy, which you'd think would make a terrible combination.

But like the Chinese drunken master style,

Luigi harnesses awkwardness to make himself even more vicious.

He's more powerful than he seems, murdering Goombas and Koopas by the hundreds every day!

*audience cheers*

*Boomstick laughs*

Before we go any further, I'd like to point out that the Unmaking Cannon belongs to a bunch of children.

"Is it bedtime now, mom?" *Explosion*

No more parents!

Wiz: Even without it, Luigi has defeated Dimentio,

discovered the Grand Finale Galaxy, raised a ravenous man-eating dinosaur

and even rescued Mario from certain doom on three separate occasions.

The Green Thunder can pretty much do it all.

Boomstick: Luigi is one mean, green fighting machine.

Luigi: I do it!

Luigi: Oh-ho! *hums*

*thud* Oopsie!

Tails: All systems go. Full speed ahead!

Wiz: Born the very same day Dr. Eggman began

his robot-powered takeover of the world, Miles Prower -

*Boomstick laughs*

Boomstick: I get it! Miles Per-Hour!

Creativity like that is why Sega is still making consoles

Wiz: Ahem. Miles was awkwardly born with two tails.

Mere minutes after being welcomed into the world, Eggman's deadly forces made Miles Prower an orphan

Boomstick: Whoa. That's - that's pretty fucked up.

Wiz: Eight years later - and after some much-needed counselling -

Miles stumbled upon a broken-down biplane

and happily repaired the whole vehicle on his own.

Boomstick: Well, of course! Just like all walking, talking adolescent two-tailed foxes can.

Anyway, turns out the airplane happened to belong to Miles' personal idol, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic: What are you doing?

Boomstick: Why Sonic needed a plane in the first place is beyond me, but whatever.

Wiz: It was Sonic who first suggested that Miles' birth defects could be used to fly by spinning like helicopter blades.

Which is obviously impossible as they could never create lift (stammering) -

WHAT?

Boomstick: And so Sonic gave his rotary ass the oh-so-obvious nickname he deserved - "Tails".

Wiz: Well, that's stupid. That's like if you were named Boomstick because you just liked shotguns.

Boomstick: Don't be fucking ridiculous, Wizard.

Anyways, aside from flight, Tails's copter-butt blades are strong enough to bust metal

and he can use them like the turbine of an engine to keep up with Sonic's super fast speeds.

He can almost reach the speed of sound.

Wiz: Tails pledged himself to Sonic's freedom fighting cause against Dr. Eggman

and the two quickly became friends, almost like brothers.

They also shared a sort of teacher-student relationship

although it wasn't always clear who was the student.

Boomstick: It was Tails who invented the famous Spin Dash, not the speedy hedgehog.

Wiz: Tails is a genius and a master mechanic.

Boomstick: He's so much smarter than Sonic that he actually learned how to swim!

Whiz: He has built several planes and combat mechs and has numerous gadgets on hand,

like the Projectile Ring, which can pull or latch onto objects almost like a grappling hook.

Boomstick: But despite being a super geek, he really likes to blow shit up.

He carries a huge supply of bombs:

big bombs, napalm bombs, remote bombs, flash bang grenades, bombs shaped like magic rings,

bombs shaped like mice, bombs shaped like your mother, you name it, he's got a bomb like it!

Wiz: He also wields the Magic Hand,

a long-range comical punching weapon,

and the Energy Ball Arm Cannon.

Boomstick: Which is ripped straight out of Mega Man.

He built all this himself but never a device to breathe underwater!

Kinda dropped the ball there, sidekick.

Wiz: Unlike Sonic's speed blitzing battle style, Tails relies on logic and tactics in a fight.

His Shield Bot fortifies his defenses and his Medi Bot heals wounds over time.

Boomstick: But he's a total wimp.

He can't fly forever and if Sonic is not around to hold his hand, he's scared of pretty much everything.

After a good thunder clap, you'll find him shivering his spinny ass off in the bathtub.

Sonic: Right. We should hurry. *thunder claps*

*Tails screams* Tails: I'm afraid of lightning!

Wiz: Well, he is only 11 years old,

and the feats he's accomplished at his age are beyond impressive,

like being able to run 100 miles per hour without his tails,

stopping a nuclear missile, and saving the multiverse by transforming into...

Uh...

Boomstick: Don't do steroids, kids.

Whiz: Alright. The combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BAAAATTTLE!

Tails: Hey!

Luigi : Lets a go!

Announcer: FIGHT

Tails: Heah!

Luigi: Mama mia!

Luigi: Ayayayay!

Tails: Whoa.

Luigi: Yikes!

Luigi: Woa Woa Woa Woah!

Luigi: Heahh...

Luigi: Waaaahhhh! Woah! Woah! Woah!

Luigi:(thinks)Hmmm... Hey!

Luigi: Woaaahhhhhh!

Luigi: Whoa!

Tails: Waaaah!

Luigi: Luigi got ya!

Tails:

Luigi: Hello?

Luigi: Nyeeh?

Tails: Aaahhh!

Luigi Ahhahh oho oooh ooh!

Boomstick: Well, there goes the year of Luigi!

Wiz: While Luigi technically has more combat experience

and has survived being Nintendo's whipping boy,

Tails' skills and arsenal were more than the green-capped plumber could handle.

Boomstick: His training with Sonic makes him faster,

and his superior mobility gave him complete control over the battlefield.

Whiz: Also, he has an outrageous IQ of 300,

which is about as much as Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking combined!

Boomstick: Tails is stronger too.

He can move 10 tons while Luigi struggles to lift a large radish.

Whiz: And Tails' gadgets more than make up for any of his weaknesses.

Boomstick: Looks like Luigi was outfoxed.

Whiz: The winner is Miles "Tails" Prower.

Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle

Whiz: Have an idea for a Death Battle? Let us know in the comments below

Boomstick: And don't forget to like the video, subscribe, then show it to your friends

Whiz: Thanks for watching