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字幕列表 影片播放

  • *guitar music*

    不有趣

  • yep

    不,謝謝

  • Not interested

    蛤?

  • No thank you

    喔喔!?

  • Huh?

    喔喔!?

  • Oh?!

    這是什麼?

  • Oh?

    五歲小孩威脅YOUTUBE王者Pewdiepie退出?

  • What is this?!

    踩過我天殺的屍體!!

  • "Five-year-old threatens to dethrone YouTube king PewDiePie?"

    踩過我的素食屍-----!!!

  • Over my god damn dead BODY!!!

    這怎麼能夠?

  • Over my vegan BO---!!!!

    Jefferson Graham(記者)

  • How could this be?

    蛤?

  • Jefferson Graham

    ok.

  • huh?

    好吧..

  • okay

    Jefferson Graham

  • oh right...

    五歲小孩威脅...

  • Jefferson Graham

    噗!

  • Five-year-old threatens...

    也許這個小鬼...有兩把刷子

  • Pfft!

    我是誰?

  • Maybe this kid... Got what it takes

    下一個Pewdiepie?

  • Who am I?

    讓我們..

  • The next PewDiePie?

    讓我們來看一些內容

  • Let's uh...

    *女聲:快快快快~快去床上!快去床上*

  • Let's check out some content

    *快樂的音樂*

  • *Woman: Go go go go to bed! Go to bed!*

    *好了,接著刷你的牙*

  • *Happy music*

    *Ryan要去洗澡了*

  • *Alright then! Brush your teeth.*

    他有三輪車,我愛這個

  • *Ryan's going in to take a bath!*

    *Ryan:歡迎來到Ryan的玩具評論*

  • He's got a tricycle I love those.

    幹!我沒有開場動畫

  • *Ryan: Welcome to Ryan's toys review!*

    狗屎!

  • Fuck! I don't have an intro!

    讓我現在做一個

  • Shit!

    *裝小孩聲音*:歡迎來到Felix的玩具評論 (註:Felix是Pewds的本名)

  • Let's make one right now!

    這真的有抓到重點嗎?

  • *In a cringy kid's voice: Welcome to Felix's toys review!*

    看五歲小孩玩得很開心?

  • Has it really gone to that po*voice-crack*int?

    (讀評論)看一些影片,他們會提醒你做的某些影片

  • Making fun of five-year-olds?

    (笑)

  • ''Watch some of the videos and they'll remind you of the videos you make''

    這就是我想看的

  • *Laughs a little*

    我是說,我為何需要查看我做的影片

  • That's what I wanna watch

    當我可以只看別人所做一樣的屎?

  • I mean, why would I watch what I've made,

    這真的...

  • when I can just watch other people make the same shit?

    (笑)

  • That really...

    這真的有品質保證

  • *laughs*

    喔靠...我的老天...

  • That really certifies

    我變成剛剛說情況的其中一個

  • Oh shit... Oh my god...

    "為何你會看別人玩電玩 其實你可以自己玩?"

  • I just became one of those that says,

    (笑)

  • ''Why would you watch someone else play video games when you can play it yourself''

    賽啦...

  • *laughs*

    Youtube中最有名的巨星是一個五歲小孩

  • Shit...

    給我等等!!

  • ''Youtube's biggest star is a 5-year-old that makes''

    The Verge也說很好!? (註:The Verge應該是某種新型態的媒體)

  • WAIT!

    他媽的發生什麼事?!

  • The Verge as well?!

    我們是在說同一個the Verge嗎?

  • What the... fuck is happening?!

    The Verge會找出任何可以的機會

  • Are we talking about the same The Verge?

    來吐槽我?

  • The Verge that will take any opportunity they can to

    喔,OK,這很有趣

  • to shit on me?

    (讀報導)Pewdiepie跟其他人, 跟華納兄弟拿錢,來說些遊戲的正面評價

  • Oh okay that's interesting...

    一個被我揭穿的謊言

  • ''PewDiePie and others took money from WarnerBros for positive game reviews''

    去你的!

  • A straight up lie that I debunked

    (讀報導)在過去的18周裡"Ryan Toys Review"

  • Fuck you!

    曾是youtube上最受歡迎的頻道

  • ''For the last 18 weeks and counting Ryan Toys Review''

    有史以來最年輕的YOUTUBE巨星

  • ''has been the most popular channel on YouTube''

    這是...我們該慶祝這件事嗎?

  • ''The youngest star YouTube has EVER seen''

    我們該慶祝這件事嗎?...事實是...

  • Is that... Are we celebrating this?

    這個媽媽就像..

  • Are we celebrating that.. the fact that some...

    你想他會靠這個賺很多錢?

  • this mother is like

    你以為他會得到這些玩具?

  • You think he's getting any money off this?

    我也很喜歡他們連結每個影片的方式

  • You think he's getting the toys?

    在他們的描述中

  • I also really like how they link every video ever

    我真的很欣賞

  • in their description

    (讀報導)有一天當孩子變成主持人

  • I really appreciate that

    那孩子不是主持人

  • ''The genre skyrocketed once kids became the hosts''

    OK,我們來看個影片,我會告訴你我是什麼意思

  • The kids are not the hosts

    *女聲:耶~太好了~*

  • Okay, let's watch a video and I'll show you what I mean

    *Ryan:我們會得到什麼?*

  • *Woman: Yeah awesome!*

    *女聲:我不知道~*

  • *Ryan: What are we gonna get?*

    *女聲:哪一個才是你想孵化的?*

  • *Woman: I don't know!*

    看到了嗎?她甚至不想讓他完成

  • *Who will you hatch?*

    他很明確地說了些什麼!

  • See? She doesn't even let him finish

    *女聲:哪一個才是你想孵化的?*

  • he was clearly about to say something there!

    看看他

  • *Who will you hatch?*

    *女人說話*

  • Look at him.

    不,你不在乎但是我在乎!!!

  • *Woman talks*

    他媽的給我閉嘴Ryan!!!!

  • No, you don't matter cuz I MATTER!!!

    *Ryan: 這些看起來好像打開了*

  • SHUT THE FUCK UP RYAN!!!

    *Ryan: 你還可以聽到裡面有些雜音*

  • *Ryan: These look like they might open!*

    *女聲:對呀*

  • *You can still hear the noises inside!*

    我的天啊 我想他...

  • *Woman: Yeah!*

    我想他自己想到這些句子, 而且沒人告訴他該說什麼

  • Oh my god I think he...

    *Ryan: 你還可以聽到裡面有些雜音*

  • I think he came up with that sentence himself and no-one else told him to say that

    *女聲:對呀*

  • *You can still hear the noises inside!*

    (尷尬症犯了)

  • *Yeah!*

    我不....喜歡....

  • *Cringes*

    我確定他愛這樣

  • I don't... Like...

    你知道的

  • I'm sure he loves it.

    我確定

  • You know

    我會愛這樣...當我還是個孩子...

  • I'm sure

    去打開一堆玩具

  • I would love... When I was a kid

    但在此同時,這就像...

  • to open a bunch of toys

    有些東西被關起來了

  • but at the same time it's like

    這有點像 在電視上看童星

  • It's... It's something off about it

    因為你知道他們的父母 正在強迫他們這麼做

  • It's kinda like seeing child stars on television

    而這是有點悲傷的

  • cause you know their parents are literally forcing them to do it

    我情不自禁的感受到同樣的氛圍

  • and it's just something sad about it

    很明顯的,我不知道發生什麼事

  • And I can't help getting the same vibe

    但我看了影片,感覺到"呃--------!"

  • Obviously I don't know what goes on but

    (讀報導)日復一日,Ryan就像在讀劇本一樣

  • *cringes*

    (笑)

  • I watch it and i'm like ''UGH!''

  • ''Increasingly, it feels like Ryan is reading from a script''

    這劇本是媽媽說:

  • *laughs*

    "嘿,你他媽給我說這個"

  • No

    (讀報導)youtube巨星們正在推動零售的銷售模式

  • The script being mother saying

    我無法為此爭辯

  • ''HEY, YOU FUCKING SEE THIS?!!''

    潛意識廣告是最好的

  • ''Youtube stars are driving retail sales''

    贊助單元

  • I can't argue with that

  • ''Subliminal advertising at its finest''

    這很明顯

  • ''Sponsored episodes''

    他們是被沃爾瑪(零售百貨)所贊助

  • Yeah

    百分之百

  • It's clearly

    這太明顯了

  • They're sponsored by Walmart

    就像...

  • It's 100%

    看這個影片就像

  • It's so clear

    我們得到了獨家的沃爾瑪蛋!

  • like...

    *女聲:而我們甚至也找到了沃爾瑪獨家販售的版本!*

  • watch this video over there like

    嗚--------------!

  • ''We got an exclusive Walmart egg!''

    為何會有任何一個孩子會在乎這件事情?

  • *Woman: And we even found a Walmart exclusive version too!*

    跟我解釋一下

  • OOO

    OK?

  • Why would any kid give a shit about that?

    為何會有孩子在意這是不是沃爾瑪限定版本?

  • Explain that to me.

    這根本完全沒有道理

  • Ok?

    然後你得到一個評論說 "他向華納兄弟拿錢說一些對遊戲的正面評論"即使他沒有

  • Why would any kid give a shit about Walmart edition?

    談論有關紕漏不適當的事,蛤?

  • It doesn't make any sense!

    OK,這在哪裡?

  • And then you get the Verge posting ''He took money from WarnerBros for positive game reviews even though he didn't''

    Ryan的成功換句話說,可以賺取很多錢財

  • Talk about inadequate disclosure, huh?

    給他的父母!!

  • Ok well where is it here?

    喔,為了更大的公司

  • ''Ryan's success in other words translates into more money''

    ok,ok,好吧

  • For his parents!

    所以基本上來說,這是個法律漏洞

  • Oh, 'for a larger corporation''

    一個普通的孩子沒辦法

  • Ok, ok alright

    為了商業化變得滑稽

  • So basically, there's a legal loophole

    許多州對於孩子的演出無法可管

  • That there's no way for the antics of an ordinary kid

    他們沒有關於孩子演出所延伸的童工法

  • To be commercialised

    這個頻道不再只是Ryan玩著他的玩具

  • Many states have no rules around children performing

    無論他是要去迪士尼樂園、剪新髮型、還是發燒, 他的父母才是決定透露多少的人....

  • They have no child labor laws around performance

    你懂我在說什麼嗎?

  • The channel isn't just Ryan playing with toys any more

    你有沒有看過一個影片有1100萬觀看次數, 加上9000個讚?

  • Whether he's going to Disneyland, getting a haircut or running a fever, his parents are the ones deciding how much-

    請告訴我那個影片,因為那並不存在

  • You see what I'm getting at here?

    那些都不是真的人,也不是真的觀看次數

  • Have you ever seen a video with 11 million views and 9000 likes?

    這只有1000個留言回應

  • Please direct me to that video. Because it doesn't exist.

    看看我有1100萬觀看次數的影片

  • These are not real people. These are not real views.

    我得到22,000的回應

  • There's only 1000 comments.

    22,000 1000

  • Take a video where I had 11 million views:

    最多觀看次數的影片有6億次點閱

  • I got 22,000 comments.

    這 三 小

  • 22,000. 1000.

    這是-不好意思 這真的是他媽的三小

  • Most viewed video has 600 million views.

    這三小

  • What. The. Fuck.

    這比Call me Maybe的一半還多

  • What the ac- excuse me. What the actual fuck.

    你是在說--這世上的每個人都應該知道這小孩是誰?

  • What the fuck.

    我賭大部分看過這個影片的都他媽的沒有腦

  • That's more than half of Call Me Maybe

    你是怎麼得到這一堆觀看次數?

  • Are you saying- like everybody in the entire fucking world should know who this kid is.

    要如何才能讓the Verge

  • I bet most of you who've seen this video have no fucking clue.

    還有 USA Today

  • How do you get that amount of views?

    失敗的詮釋它?他們怎麼能上到封面?

  • How can the Verge

    而沒有提到它?

  • and USA Today

    你知道,我並不是在批判這個家庭

  • Fail to realise this? How can they run such a full cover like this?

    我不在乎,我真的不在乎

  • And not mention it?

    像是,做任何你想做的,別誤會我,這不是重點

  • You know, I'm not here to criticise this family

    重點是"我想做的,我絕對會他媽的嚇死你們"

  • I don't care. I genuinely don't care.

    這兩大網路媒體,The Verge跟USA Today

  • Like, do whatever you want, don't get me wrong. This is not the point.

    像是,這是三小- 看看這個,看看這個

  • The point that I want to make, which I am absolutely fucking stunned,

    這是他媽的特徵

  • That these two big-big journalist websites, The Verge and USA Today

    我們來看看,也許這個"bot"曾在哪裡提到? 不

  • Like, where the fucking- look at this. Look at this.

    假的觀看次數?不

  • It's a fucking feature

    這整個文章,都沒有

  • Let's see- maybe is 'bot' mentioned anywhere? No.

    所以恭喜,你付錢買了觀看次數

  • Fake views? No.

    然後你得到這個標題 "喔!他打敗Pewdiepie了"

  • This whole article. Nowhere.

    而我想這就是讓我很火大的原因, 因為人們總是想要他媽的讓我崩潰

  • So congrats. You payed for views.

    你怎麼能稱自己為記者並犯下這個他媽的錯誤?

  • And that's how you get the title, "Oh! He's beating PewDiePie!"

    你怎能他媽的這麼遲緩?

  • And I think that's what pisses me off so much because people want to fucking tear me down all the fucking time

    你該做的就是他媽的滾動頁面

  • How can you call yourself a journalist and get it this fucking wrong?

    你真的太笨了,我他媽的恨這個媒體

  • How can you be that fucking retarded?

    這真的他媽的很尷尬

  • All you had to do was scroll the fuck down.

    歡迎來到Felix的玩具評論

  • You're so stupid. I fucking hate the media.

    *裝成可愛寶寶*

  • It's fucking embarrassing.

    (攝影師)好了寶寶Felix你可以再做一次嗎?

  • "In an cringy kid's voice: Welcome to Felix's Toy Reviews!"

    (攝影師)再多一點活力!!

  • *baby noises*

    (攝影師)ok,媽媽需要一些錢

  • (off camera) Ok baby Felix can you do it again?

    再多一點活力?

  • (off camera) More energy!

    (攝影師)媽媽需要錢,OK?

  • (off camera) Ok? Mommy needs some dollar.

    (攝影師)嗯,你可以再做一次嗎?更有活力一點

  • More energy?

    再多一點活力?

  • (off camera) Mommy needs dollars, ok?

    (攝影師)嘿這裡有Red Bull(能量飲料)

  • (off camera) Erm, can you do it again baby but can you do it with more energy?

    (攝影師)ok?媽咪需要一些錢所以你必須看起來開心

  • More energy?

    (攝影師)這就對了,把它喝完

  • (off camera) Yeah. Hey here's a Red Bull

    (攝影師)好了

  • (off camera) Ok? Mommy needs some dollars so you need to look happy.

    這太冰了我沒辦法喝

  • (off camera) That's it. The whole thing.

    (攝影師)再來一次,但要開心點

  • (off camera) There you go!

    啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  • It's too cold I can't drink it!

    (攝影師)很好

  • (off camera) Do it again, but happy!

    Furby是我最愛的玩具

  • Aaaaah!

    (攝影師)ok,媽咪買給你

  • (off camera) Good!

    耶~~

  • Furby is my new favourite toy.

    (攝影師)耶~~

  • (off camera) Ok, Mommy's got you a Furby!

    耶~~

  • Yeah!

    (攝影師)耶,你興奮嗎?

  • (off camera) Yeah!

    耶!

  • Yeah!

    (攝影師)ok!

  • (off camera) Yeah, aren't you excited?

    我的天啊,這是-

  • Yeah!

    (攝影師)不要毀了盒子!媽咪需要把它恢復原樣

  • (off camera) OK!

    我不會玩

  • Oh my god, this-

    (攝影師)你不需要懂它,不

  • (off camera) Don't ruin the box! Mommy's gotta return it.

    (攝影師)媽咪需要新的指甲

  • I don't get to play-

    (攝影師)ok,打開它,這是刀子

  • (off camera) You don't get to keep it. No.

    (攝影師)給我8歲的孩子

  • (off camera) Mommy needs new nails.

    來吧

  • (off camera) OK, open it. Here's a knife.

    (攝影師)哇~~~

  • (off camera) For my eight year old son.

    哇~~~~

  • Here we go.

    喔~~

  • (off camera) Wooow!

    這太可愛了!

  • WOOOOOW!

    (攝影師)秀給鏡頭看

  • OOOH

    這真是太-這真是太可愛了

  • It's so cute!

    (攝影師)再多一點活力

  • (off camera) Show it to the camera

    喔喔喔~~敲口ㄞ~~

  • It's so, it's so cute

    啊啊啊啊啊

  • (off camera) More energy.

    但媽咪這是粉紅的

  • AAAH! So Cute!

    我想要藍色的

  • AAAAAH!

    啊啊啊啊---------!

  • But Mommy it's pink.

    這是當它睡著時用的面罩

  • I want blue.

    (攝影師)哇!是不是很棒呀!

  • AAAAAH

    啊啊啊啊啊啊

  • This one has a mask for when it's sleeping.

    喔------!

  • (off camera) Wow isn't that great!

    Furby: 我好奇我今晚會做什麼夢

  • AAAAAAAH

    你看到了嗎?

  • OOOH!

    (攝影師)媽咪希望你燒了它

  • Furby: I wonder what I'll dream about tonight!

    媽咪我不想要,它是我朋友

  • You see?

    (攝影師)殺了你朋友

  • (off camera) Mommy wants you to burn him.

    但它是我朋友,是Fuzzball先生

  • Mommy I don't want to. It's my friend.

    (攝影師)殺了你愛的人,是你成為男人的唯一道路

  • (off camera) Kill your friend.

    這也發生在爸爸身上嗎?

  • But it's my friend! It's Mr Fuzzball!

    Furby:對~~

  • (off camera) The only way you can become a man is if you kill what you love.

    (攝影師)殺了它!

  • Is that what happened to Dad?

    喔!!

  • Furby: Yaaas!

    啊啊---!!

  • (off camera) Kill it!

    (攝影師)ok,你怎麼看待你的新玩具?

  • Woah!

    為何你要讓我殺它?

  • AAH!

    (攝影師)你有跟你的新玩具玩得開心嗎?

  • (off camera) Ok! what did you think of your new toy?

    它本來是我唯一的朋友,我們本來想離開這座城

  • Why did you make me kill him?

    它曾經是我的全部,我們本來想跨過那座山去見海

  • (off camera) Did you have fun with your new toy?

    還有去見見那片天空

  • He was my only friend. We were supposed to leave this town

    我曾經愛它,我用我全部的心力愛著它

  • He was everything to me. We were supposed to go over to where the mountains meet the ocean

    然後你讓我殺了它

  • And the desert meets the sky.

    (攝影師)等等!!你要做什麼?

  • I loved him. I loved him with all my heart.

    你有看過"熱刀子"挑戰嗎?

  • And you made me kill him.

    (攝影師)寶貝停下來!!

  • (off camera) Wait! What are you doing!

    你有看過"熱刀子"嗎?如何切過所有的東西?

  • Have you seen the hot knife challenge?

    (攝影師)寶貝不!!!!!!!!!

  • (Off camera) Baby stop it!

    啊啊啊啊啊啊啊