*sips monster drink*

*吸*

*teleported*

SKRATTA DUUUUU FÖRLORAR DU - mannen! (如果你笑了，你就輸了)

aeeeHHhh *relish*

你知道規則的。

SKRATTA DUUUUU FÖRLORAR DU - mannen!

我不用再解釋了，

You know the rules.

但我還是再說一遍好了 !

I don't have to explain them,

如果你「削 」，你就「樹 」了 (笑了就輸了)

but I will do it anyway!

笑 - 輸。非常簡單的規則

if you lass, you will loose.

你可以按下喜歡，馬上開始這個挑戰

skrat - förlor. very simple rules

一起開始吧

You can begin this challenge right now by smashing that like button

如果你點了這個影片喜歡

Let's freakin do this guys

那你正在促成一個邪惡的後果

if this video hits a like

哈哈 逮到你了吧 ?

Then you are supporting a really bad cause

賭你剛開始一定以為 我要為大眾做些什麼善事

ha ha got you there didn't I?

並沒有

Bet you thought I was gonna do something good for people.

好 很幽默

No

*笑* (輸了?)

All right good joke

開始吧 (拍) 來 開始吧 大家

*kawaii skratta*

OOOKKKK

Let's begin. ? Let's ? begin ? everybody.

我看過這個了 !

oohhkayy

*歡呼*

*pokemon music*

*暫停*

I've seen this!

好，好。

hooRAyy

這是我現在的表情...

*pokemon battle theme*

不怎樣。

*404*

雖然他剪輯得很好，

Ok, ok. This is my face right now - not impressed. Although it is a very good edit, probably stolen by someone

大概是偷別人的吧

All right, looks like so far so good. I'm still in it. I'm still -

不錯，看來到目前都還可以。

#winninnnng

我還在遊戲裡，我還在...

Heck yeah, guys. Can we keep this up? This is the furthest we've ever come

#贏家

*table topples over and the cage breaks*

爽啦，各位。

*slytherin makes cameo*

我們可以努力保持嗎 ? 這是我們目前最久的紀錄...

*RIP nagini*

*我已經輸了，大家加油*

*being-sucked-into-a-vortex music*

蛇蛇...?

*heroic music*

*笑*

snaaakee?

不，不，我沒有笑。(大聲)

*humoring himself*

我只是幽默到自己了，好嗎?

No, no, I did not laugh. I just humored myself. Okay had nothing to do with the video

跟影片完全無關

I got so bored. I would think of other things. What was the snake's mission?

剛剛太無聊了，我就會想到其他事情去...

deh he heh ha

那條蛇蛇的任務是甚麼?

Alright, okay moving on

*自己笑*

Host : The Scottish accent is famous for being difficult to understand but the Glaswegian accent can be even more difficult

好，來吧 繼續

Glasweigan.

" 蘇格蘭口音 由於其極難理解而著名。 但是，格拉斯哥口音 更是困難...

Glasgow in norwegian = Glaswegian?

格 拉 斯 哥 語。(蘇格蘭的一種方言)

Host : I love the Glaswegian accent and I was wondering if you could teach me some local phrases

挪威語的格拉斯哥 ? "Glaswegian?"

Man : well it's very hard to

"我非常喜歡格拉斯哥腔， 我想請問您能教我些地方方言嗎?

bring anything to mind this is the

呃 這很難...

thing, it's only, it's alright if

...

yars are *Okay I lost it.

*非常重的口音出現*

*I'm Scottish and having trouble understanding this*

*此部分沒有翻譯 抱歉*

*Hello to all the fellow Scottish fans*

*有翻譯組的超強聽力嗎*

*brofist from the caption army if you understand*

哼 ?

Host : hm?

你有聽懂嗎 ?

Man : ya understand?

*笑* (我覺得這個很壞...)

*horrific throat laugh*

喔，你聽不懂嗎? *笑*

Oh, you don't understand? *laughs*

我的天啊，我以為我能把持住。 這是認真的笑話嗎?還是他剛剛中風?

Ouh my god, I thought I had it for a while. Is it a joke? Did he just have an aneurysm?

呃 這很難...

Man : well it's very hard to

*格拉斯哥語*

Bring this to mind

我有聽到，"呃 這很難"...

Well I got, "well this is very hard to"...

*試圖理解*

*rewinding video in attempt to understand*

不靈奧沒電個死

Bring out main dangus (Bring this to mind)

不靈奧，不靈 奧 沒電個死 ?

bring out, bring-a-main-daingus? (Bring this to mind)

不靈奧沒電個死 !

brain-a-main-dangus!

不靈 奧 沒電個死 !! (這裡的英文有其他意思，可看英文字幕)

BRING me a dingus!

這是他想說的

that's what he's saying

搜利 抱歉 張開你的眼睛

It's only when its (rest of transcript lost)

欸欸欸欸欸夷夷

*forgive the captions*

"他很難聽見他的眼睛"

*I'm from the East of Scotland*

看吧 沒有很難

*It's a hella lot softer accents here*

*噗*

sssOReh - sorry open your eyes

我懂，好嗎?

*what is he saying*

一群笨蛋

eeeeeeeeghhh

"蜘蛛人: 穿的好可愛

He hardly heard his eyes! See, it's not that hard

你老公買給你的嗎?"

deu heh hhee

"其實呢，就是他給的。 他在我們10週年紀念日買給我的。

I understand okay, buncha IDIOTS

他不只是我的愛人，

Peter Parker : That's a cute outfit

他還是我最好的朋友、我的靈魂伴侶。

did your husband give it to you?

我對他的愛，絲毫不感到羞愧 ，我也不應該羞愧。

Actually, he did. He bought this for me on our 10-year anniversary. Not only is he my lover,

對於一個有特異功能的人，尤其是...我猜測...

He's my best friend and my soul mate. I'm not ashamed of who I love nor

從意外的爆炸，到放射性的蜘蛛血

Should I be. For someone with strange abilities due to I assume

你無法接受那些自己生命中的鉅變

Accidental exposure to radioactive spider blood, you're not very tolerant of those different to yourself. You're on the wrong side of history

你其實一直站在錯誤的那邊，蜘蛛人

spider-man

*跳*

*jumps*

我之前就看過這個Meme了， 但老實說Jack做得比較好。非常好。

*exhalation of nasal air which is a sign that a person has found something funny, but it is not funny enough to proceed with the action of making spontaneous sounds that indicate lively amusement*

你能相信迪士尼Po了這個嗎 ~?

I've seen this meme before but honestly Jack made it better. Well done. Can you believe disney posted this?

公~然~

blatant

恐恐同同同

homophahhbiaah

真噁心。他們接下來要做甚麼? 因為某些笑話炒人魷魚?

Disgusting. What are they gonna do next? Fire Someone over some jokes?

噗

pff

"小智 : 巴大蝶

Butterfree : eee

這是甚麼?

Ash : butterfree

*伊已移宜*

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Pokemon. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of strategic battle moves most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Ash's optimistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from the phrase "Gotta catch em all", for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the true intellectual of a nine year old to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Pokemon truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance,

不行

the humour in Pikachu's existential catchphrase "Pika Pika" which itself is a cryptic reference to Ash's battle with Brock in the Pewter Gym. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Satoshi Tajiri genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. ? And yes, by the way, i DO have a Butterfree tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid ?

*笑*

NO

就這樣 ??

*weird laugh*

20萬點閱率 ?? 最好啦...

thATS IT?

這到底是甚麼啦 ?

200 thOUsand views?? yeeahhhhehe

"耶耶啊啊啊啊啊"

WHAT IS THIS!?!?!

愚蠢的短片。

*snickers*

"耶耶啊啊啊" 的日文是什麼 ?

yeaaaaahhhh

はい ? (是的)

Stupid short ones. What is yehh in Japanese? Hai? Google Translate. Yes. yeahh

Google翻譯 Yes

E e

" yeah "

Japanese translation : A

" ええ "

Eeeh? Oh, it's like eeEHH?

Google小姐 : ㄟˋ

so he's goin

Pewds : ㄟˊ ? 喔是像這樣 " ㄟㄟㄟˊ " ???

EEeeEEUH?

所以他是說

nAN desu kaAh?

欸欸ㄟˊ ㄟˊ ?

butterfree-san?

何ですか ? ( 這甚麼 ? )

I bet they're not even half-weeb

巴大蝶桑 ?

whoever did the voice-acting

我賭他們連半個動漫迷都不是

they shoulda asked ME

不管是哪位去配音的

I woulda done a way better job than

他們應該找我去才對

yeeeyUH

我可以更完美的詮釋這段，比起這...

choose your pewdiepie?

"耶耶欸啊啊"

Wow!

選擇你的 Pewdiepie ?

(Pewds: Skratta Du Floura Du )

哇

(MANNEN)

"Pewds : 你笑了 你就輸了"

Real pewds : No. Untrue...

不 !! 騙人

(Red pewds: My hair is astonishingly, incredibly, unbelivibly RED)

" Markiplier : ...驚人的、不可置信、難以相信的紅 "

(Invisible pewds: player two)

Markiplier 是 紅Pewdiepie

Markiplier = red pewdiepie

"Jack : 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊"

(Jack screaming in the background)

綠 Pewdiepie !!! 比正版還要好 !!

Green pewdiepie = better than the real one!

喂。

hEY.

你要選哪一個 ? *笑*

(yEs?)

"靠做Memes維生" *訂閱* 非常好。

What are you getting?

我不知道為甚麼我很愛這個Meme 那個Smash Meme 超讚的

will make memes for food - SUB. very nice.

我的天啊

i dunno why i love this meme - the smash meme - its so good

老天

*game music and SFX*

*笑*

(Incoming Salt)

*放大*

(The screams subsideee)

*理智爆炸*

oh my god

ㄨㄛ

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

" 曼陀朱 : 清新來一遍 "

jeesuss

*笑* 要是我，結束後也會去買個曼陀朱

dueeh heeh

曼陀朱，拜託。 贊助我。 我需要贊助商，好嗎 ?

*salt*

如果你認為.. 你是家錢太多的公司

*zoom*

連..蓮聯繫我

*subconscious unveiled*

*中風*

*pure agony*

我會強烈推銷你..

*very salt*

..你...你們大家有聽過我的 *又是椅子*

woooahw

別。

mentos: the fresh-maker

"但對於像我這種小孩，平常作Youtube影片 而夢想卻是以製作電影維生，你會給予我們甚麼意見呢?

*snicker*

"厄 這個嘛..."

i mean, I'D buy a mentos after that.

*腦內: 我會說...*

mentos, PLEASE sponsor me. i NEED sponsors.

"你..你真的必須深吸一口氣，然後就直接放棄。"

Okay- if you're a company and like you just feel like you have too much money

*笑*

hit me up

"不要笑啦，這整個體制就是很不公平的， 你那些才華跟苦心不會被重視 ! "

*aneurysm*

" 我們過程沒遇到什麼阻礙，可是連我們都不算成功了。 你的話，半點機會都沒有。"

I'll boost you- have i told you guys abou-

*拍桌*

But what advice would you give to kids like me who make youtube videos but dream about having a life creating films..

"你已經在成功的路上啦，你要知道，你其實早製作電影了，有這些點子..."

*lil lip smackie*

*笑*

um I would say

*拍很棒*

(i'd say, well *in his head*)

你快做到了，為你歡呼 唷。

(You got to just take a deep breath and give up)

好啦 我知道他是真心的啦

*laugh track*

*最好*

(No, the system is rigged against you your hard work and talent will not pay off)

"不會矛盾啊， 他基本上在告訴那個小孩他已經達到他的目標了"

(there was nothing to stand in our way, and we barely got here. You have no chance)

*讚美高音*

(deep fry)

這是...? 唉

*what he actually says* You're doing it, you know, you are making films there's this idea that like..

我覺得腦袋已經無法應付 慢到我沒有任何好話可以說了

*2014 skratta*

我也常會這樣啊

? ? ?

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

You're doing that hooray for you. You know, I'm sure he meant it

或是

*mic breathes*

*奏樂*

No contradiction. He's basically telling him he's already achieved his goal

這是一個常見的行為 而我完全能夠理解

*cheeto keyboard noises*

他們呢...

(press f to pay respects)

他們差不多是同回事

dEEP FRY

從現在起為了不要讓我的影片被強制下架

What id- auh... I feel like my brain is too slowed to have anything of value to say to these I

我將不再說那個F字

*he got sugma*

而是直接...

I always mix them up as well

啊啊啊啊啊啊

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

連第二次都叫不好，天啊

or

"繞到旁邊，讓我們開到他後面 !"

(DEEP FRY EM)

"如果到他後面，我們就可以滅了他 ! 快 快 快 !"

It's a common thing to do and I completely understand

"...穩住啊

They're very....

穩住!

They're very much the same thing

就現在 !"

from now on to not get my videos to demonetized instead of saying the f-word

我 的 天。可 惡 啊

I will just go:

" 天*的 ! 看看這些損傷 !"

*platypus mating call*

這 真 是 大 量 的 損 傷

I can't even do it as good, jeshush

我的天啊。這就是他們如何打勝仗的各位。這就是他們打勝仗的原因 : 神奇膠帶 (Flex Tape) 查證屬實。

(WERE ALL THATS LEFT)

欸伊

(its up to us now)

YES

*name* get around put us on the *backside???*

YESS

*i cant really make this out*

"可直接跳進對戰裡"

(NOW NOW NOW)

喔天啊

*AGAIN barely hear*

"讓我們直接進入正題"

*oooh watch this*

這個點露太多了

*tippy tappy *

JacksFilms! 太棒了

*BIG TAPPY*

*滿意*

oh my god. god DAMMIT

這個好

*WOW*

好啦 granday 好啦 幹嘛 ?你想要我鼓掌嘛 ?

THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE

你只准獲得一下

Oh my god. That's how they won the war everybody. That's how they won the war : Flex tape. Confirmed.

好，我看過這個了

Eeh

這個超級精彩，好嗎

Yes *claps*

趕快 直接看

Yes *senpai reviews his meme*

最 最...史上最精彩的轉折

jumps into battle

他待會會說"這漢堡是誰作的?"

uhh my god

*期待*

lets just jump into it

"老兄，這漢堡誰作的?"

thats just too much nipples

"喂，到底誰做了這個漢堡?"

JacksFilms! Great

"我知道你聽得見我說話 !"

*silent skratta*

店員男: "欸 誰做的漢堡啦" 店員女: "誰做的漢堡? "

huff

店員男: "Jason 跟Mike作了他們的 "

oouh

" Jason你他*的作的真好 ! "

Good one. *10/10 from senpai*

*大家歡呼*

fine, grandayy, fine. What do you want a clap?

JAASSSOOONN

? That's all you gettin.

Jason，你完爆這個漢堡了老兄

Okay, I've seen this video.

"讓我開始吧。我只是想要問...

This is epic, okay.

...這是甚麼紀錄片?"

jus wat-just watch

這是...我不確定...我就直接問好了 這是為了拿來和緩人心， 讓大家對Logan Paul的印象好一點嗎?

There's the- the most EPIC plot twist of all time

...對

he goes "who made this burger?"

當然

*nyeuh*

厄 不然咧 *呵呵呵*

Who made this burger, dawg?

我的天哈哈

Who made this burger, man?!

我現在坐..跟你坐在一起...現在

I know you're hearing me!

是甚麼 ?在..在我人生中，我原本以為是好的決定但最後出錯的?

*people in the background repeat in unison*

*...*

-Jason and mike made theirs

我的天啊 我覺得這好尷尬

Jason you killin it man!

"我想要澄清。"

*approbation*

"我是最快，最大，最好，最強的。"

JAY SUNN

"你懂嗎?"

Jason, you're KILLIN it man

*不， 我不懂*

teheh

我覺得這影片甚至不需要剪過 就已經夠尷尬了

Casey : So let me start. I just wanna ask

"當...當整個世界憎恨你的時候...

What is this documentary?

"我做了個理智的選擇

Is- i don't know, i'll just ask directly- Is this a fluff piece to make people feel better about Logan Paul?

我要電擊那隻大鼠"

LP : YEAH

*...*

LP : Absolutely!

"厄..."

I mean yeah euhehah

當然囉 *噗*

*Logan glugs some water*

"巨石: 而觀眾們，當你們看著這位年輕人，他是個勇士。

hoh my god

"醫生說他有 厄...

LP : Me siiting you- with you- right now...

他有..."

LP : What what went wrong in my life that I thought that was a good idea

Pewds: 哈哈Ligma? (一個虛擬的病) "巨石:他還剩幾個禮拜可以活...

*Casey contemplates his life*

*失控了*

*and Logan's too*

我們可以達到500個喜歡嗎?

oh my god this is awkward...

為了幫助治癒Ligma

I wanna make it very clear.

看看這位

I am the fastest, the biggest, the best, the greatest.

這個人(Fousey Tube) 罹患一種慢性疾病

You understand?

「你笑你輸」 差不多告一段落了

*Logan, I don't think I understand this question*

你笑了嗎 還是你輸了呢 *白眼*

I feel like this video doesn't even need editing to make it awkward

如果你輸了 按讚

*?ex?cuse?me?*

如果你lin 按讚

When, when, the whole world hates you

如果你還沒訂閱 快去吧 按下那個訂閱鈕

*Regrettable™ *

按 下 那個訂閱鈕

I jus- I- I- made the conscious decision

如果你有機會的話 幫忙按個讚..

I'm gonna- I'm gonna tase a dead rat

再見，大家 再見，再見。

*weird vacant expression*

*pewds loses it*

LP : um

I mean, yeah *chuckle*

The ROCK : and world, when you look at this young man *ninja* he's a fighter.

*thinks if the picture is photoshopped*

*maybe it's not*