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  • Don't shit yourself, whatever you do, don't do that or they'll never let you fly again.

    不要尿失禁,不管你要做什麼,就是不要尿失禁,不然他們就不會再讓你搭飛機了。

  • If I shit myself, and we crash, maybe it will act as a rudimentary air bag and I'll be the only survivor.

    如果我失禁,我們墜機了,也許我的屎尿可以被當成最低配版的安全氣囊,我就會是唯一生還者。

  • No don't do that, just stay calm, you'll be fine.

    不,還是別這樣做,保持冷靜,你會沒事的。

  • What is that on the wings, sticky tape?

    機翼上的那是什麼,膠帶嗎?

  • British Airways would never put sticky tape on the wings, this is simply outrageous.

    英國航空才不會在機翼上貼膠帶,那簡直是瘋了。

  • Maybe I can just get off, they can't keep me on here against my will and....Oh, no, I'm definitely going to die.

    也許我可以直接下機,他們不能違反我的意願把我困在這裡⋯⋯噢不,我絕對會死掉。

  • Jesus Christ, no one is going to live if we crash from this height.

    老天爺啊,如果我們從這高度墜機,沒有人能活。

  • Did he just say catastrophic engine failure?

    他剛剛是說災難性的引擎事故嗎?

  • I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he just said.

    我很確定他剛剛就是那樣說。

  • Maybe if I just grip the armrest really hard I can hold the plane together.

    或許我很用力地抓住扶手,就可以穩固機身。

  • Probably not, but maybe I'll just keep doing it anyway.

    可能沒用,但我還是繼續抓著好了。

  • Why is no one else bothered by this?

    為什麼沒人被這困擾?

  • It's like cows in a slaughterhouse except without the mooing.

    就像在屠宰場的一群牛,但沒有哞哞聲。

  • Where does the pee go now?

    尿液會去哪裡?

  • Does it get sucked out?

    會被吸出去嗎?

  • What if it sucks all the air out too and we all suffocate?

    如果馬桶也把空氣吸乾,我們會不會都窒息?

  • I don't want to suffocate, maybe I'll just leave it there.

    我不想窒息,也許我就別沖水了。

  • No you can't just leave it, next we'll all be reading Gawker and shitting in the street.

    不行,你不能把尿這樣放著,不然我們接著就只會看八卦媒體、直接在街上大小便了。

  • Oh that's not that bad at all, JESUS CHRIST, what the hell is that on the window?

    噢,其實沒那麼糟,我的老天爺,窗戶外面那是什麼鬼?

  • I have literally no idea but it's probably fatal.

    我完全不知道那是什麼,但可能很致命。

  • Are the wings wobbling, why are the wings wobbling, do wings wobble?

    機翼是在搖晃嗎?機翼為什麼在搖晃,機翼會搖晃嗎?

  • Probably just before they snap off.

    可能在斷掉前才會搖晃吧。

  • Oh good, the electrics have failed, have they?

    噢很好,電力斷了,是吧?

  • Well, I guess they weren't vital to flying the plane.

    好吧,我猜電力對飛機來說不是很重要。

  • If you're listening, Jesus, I appreciate you're probably quite angry about the...drugs and that girl and the butt stuff last week, but I swear if you land the plane I'll believe in you, I absolutely promise, or if you're Jewish or Hindu or whatever, that's fine too, sign me up, just oh god please land the plane and I promise I'll...

    上帝,如果你在聽的話,我很感激你,儘管你可能還對我使用毒品、我跟那個女生的事、或上週的屁股事件生氣,但我發誓如果你讓這架飛機安全降落,我會相信你,我保證,不管你是猶太裔或印度教或什麼,我都信,讓我參一咖,拜託啊就拜託你了,讓飛機安全降落,我發誓我會⋯⋯

  • Hehe, nice try Jesus you statistically improbable...twat.

    嘿嘿,想得美啊上帝,你這機率上不存在的⋯⋯討厭鬼。

Don't shit yourself, whatever you do, don't do that or they'll never let you fly again.

不要尿失禁,不管你要做什麼,就是不要尿失禁,不然他們就不會再讓你搭飛機了。

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