You will wish you'd worked harder, made more money, spent less time with your family, less time with your friends.

你會希望你更認真工作、賺更多錢、花更少時間和家人相處、花更少時間和朋友在一起。

You will reminisce fondly about all the evenings you stayed home alone, so you could refresh Facebook over and over.

你會開心地回憶那些獨自在家的夜晚，一個人不斷地刷新臉書。

On your deathbed you will be grateful for many things.

在死前，你會感謝很多事情。

Thank God you stayed in that job you hated for fear of rocking the boat.

感謝老天，你做你討厭的工作，因為你害怕更動現狀。

Thank God you settle for friendships with total bellends instead of making the effort to meet people who were on your wavelength.

感謝老天，你跟超級蠢蛋當朋友，但沒有試圖認識跟你同頻率的人。

Thank God you ignored your dream career, so you wouldn't upset your family.

感謝老天，為了不讓家人不開心，你沒有做你的夢想工作。

On your deathbed you'll be glad you didn't tell these humans you loved that you loved them before they were gone forever.

在死前，你會很感激，在你愛的人永遠離去前，還好你沒有告訴他們你愛他們。

You'll be glad you spent years taking passive-aggressive comments personally from people who are probably just miserable dicks themselves.

你會很感激，有好幾年的時間你因為別人的批評言論而難過，但那些人可能只是悲慘的混蛋。

You'll be glad that you were too cautious to pursue your actual passions in life.

你會很感激，你太謹慎，不敢追求生活中真正的熱情。

On your deathbed you certainly won't think back on whatever it is you worried about constantly, and laugh at how utterly insignificant it actually was compared to what a fucking amazing time you could have been having with a body that hadn't started falling apart yet in an age more enlightened than any that have come before, while the people you loved was still alive.

在死前，你絕對不會回想過去，不會想起你時常擔心的事，你會覺得當時的擔憂很可笑，那些事對還年輕的身體能做的事而言，是多麽微不足道，當時你能做好多事、你不曾這麼受啟發，你愛的人那時也都還活著。

You were young back then, and that was a resource more sought-after than antimatter, more expensive than a hero in Star Wars Battlefront 2.

你那時還年輕，年輕比反物質更多人搶著要，比《星際大戰 : 戰場前線 2 》裡的英雄還貴。

Life was fleeting and luckily you wasted the entire thing.

生命飛逝，而幸運地，你浪費了整條命。

What's that?

什麼？

You only have an extremely limited period of time alive.

你只能活非常有限的時間。

Well, better polish off another one then to that German Dominatrix whose name you can neither pronounce nor remember, and then write a long list of things you do tomorrow, which you will somehow find an excuse not to for the four thousandth day running.

很棒，最好變身成一個肥宅，寫下一串明天要做的事，接著就會找到藉口不去做那些事，生命中的第四千天又流失了。

When you were young you wanted a million things.

當你年輕時，你想要一百萬件事。

On your deathbed you want only one and that is to be young again.

在死前，你只想要一件事，那就是再度年輕。

On your deathbed you certainly won't start having awful realizations, like how the point of making money probably wasn't to make money, but to do cool stuff with it for yourself and others.

在死前，你當然不會有糟糕的領悟，像其實賺錢沒那麼重要，重點是把賺到的錢拿去做些很酷的事。

That the point of a long life probably wasn't to put off your real plans until tomorrow, but rather to give you more time to pursue them today.

生命很長，這不代表要把該做的事拖到明天，而是在今天有更多時間時去達成。

Now, literally f**king now, that the points are being a talking monkey in space probably wasn't to sit watching YouTube videos by some pompous British knob end, but to have a good time with what little time there was and to make other talking monkeys feel good, too.

現在，就是他 X 的現在，身為在太空中一隻會講話的猴子，人生的重點不是坐著看 YouTube 上某個英國人的白癡影片，而是利用少少的時間讓自己開心，也要讓其他會說話的猴子開心。

You were born into an age science fiction couldn't even imagine.

你已經生在一個科幻小說無法想像的時代裡。

When your species had access to clean drinking water through magic pipes, to practically infinite information through magic wires, to devices that can materialize pizza in magic boxes at your door within 1 hour...or less.

你的物種可以透過魔法管子得到乾淨的飲用水，透過魔法管線得到無限的資訊，透過機器就可以在魔法箱子裡得到披薩，最多一個小時內，這披薩就會出現在你家門邊。

Despite being surrounded by miracles on a daily basis, despite being matter that has woken up, despite the entire universe contriving to create you, you still convinced yourself that the odds were stacked against you, somehow.

儘管每天身邊都發生著奇蹟、儘管已經身為受啟發的生物、儘管整個宇宙都努力地創造出你，你還是覺得命運不站在你那邊。

That all the good ideas have been had, apparently, and that everything is shit for some reason.

不知為何，你覺得所有的好主意、所有的事情都是垃圾。

So...great.

所以...很好。

However you saw it at the time, the future was a branching network of opportunities and adventure.

不管你現在是怎麼看的，未來是機會和冒險的網絡。

At any moment you could have begun the project of refashioning your life into what you actually wanted it to look like.

不論何時，你都可以開始重新塑造自己的生活，讓它變成你真正喜歡的模樣。

There would be risks, there would be bad days, there would be stress, but that was nothing compared to the misery of realizing the entire lifetime had been wasted on doubts and self-sabotage.

會有風險、壞情況會出現、壓力會湧現，但與認知到整個人生都浪費在疑惑、自我毀滅的慘狀相比，重新塑造生活還是好多了。

The hard road was easy.

艱難的路很容易。

The easy road was hard.

容易的道路才會很難。

It took 14 billion years to make you and only 90 to fuck it up.

要創造出現在的你，耗費了一百四十億年，而你花了九十年就搞砸了。

And with self-doubt and apathy you did fuck it up.

你的自我懷疑、麻木，證實你的確搞砸了。

But that is irrelevant now, at the end all things considered, all beds made or I's dotted and T's crossed because...

但這都不重要了，不管最後結局如何，所以事情都成定局，因為...

On your deathbed you will think back on your life, and you may have regrets.

臨死前，你會回想你的一生，你可能會有...遺憾。

You will wish you'd worked harder, made more money, spent less time with your family, less time with your friends.

你會希望你更認真工作、賺更多錢、花更少時間和家人相處、花更少時間和朋友在一起。

And maybe even closed this tab on your browser and began taking steps towards going off to your actual passions.

也許現在關掉瀏覽器的頁面，開始實行真正熱情所在的計畫。

Back when you still had your entire life ahead of you...

回到你還有整個人生時...

And really only yourself...

其實只有你自己...

In your way.

會擋住自己的去路。

Hey, I hope you like books about the future and physics and AI because I just put one up online...

嘿，我希望你喜歡關於未來、物理學、人工智慧的書，因為我剛剛放了一本在線上...

The first section anyway.

第一章節而已啦。

It's set partly in the present, partly ten thousand years from now.

部分設定是在現在，部分設定是一萬年以前。

It has cats and squares and cats and it's nothing like my other stuff.

裡面有貓、正方形、貓，完全不像我的其他東西。

There's also lots of sciencing, your favorite.

裡面也有很多科學的東西，你們的最愛。

Link below if you are interested, link below if you're not interested, link below if you are apathetic.

如果你有興趣，連結在下方，沒興趣的話，連結也在下方，如果你很麻木，連結還是在下方。

A massive thank you to everyone who supported the channel on Patreon I could not have written this without you, and I am eternally grateful.

大大地感謝透過合作夥伴贊助這個頻道的人，沒有你們的話我不可能寫出這本書，我永遠感激你們。

Thanks I hope you like it.

謝謝，希望你們喜歡。

Goodbye etc.

掰掰囉。