[EP.10 A Time To Face Myself]

I think this is tasty

That's leftover food from yesterday

Oh, is it? It's fine. You opened the box anyway

- Isn't it fine to use Korean? - But it feels awkward when the two of us speak in Korean.

We don't speak Korean.

Jun and I don't match personality-wise.

I'm a sensitive type, but Jun has a carefree personality.

Despite that, I feel comfortable when we're together.

Jun was the only one by my side when I didn't speak a word of Korean.

You really came to eat? Then take a seat.

- There's no chair. - It's there.

- Your eyes are so big, but you can't spot that chair? - I only look ahead.

Well, sometimes look behind you.

I've come all the way here because I've only looked straight ahead for SEVENTEEN.

Sometimes, look behind you, look back at the memories.

I only look ahead.

When I was young, I wanted to become someone who shines the most.

Despite my parents being against the idea, I just flew to Korea alone.

If my body is tired, I can just bear through it alone.

But I was alone in a foreign country, with no one to really take care of me,

'I just have to deal with it. It was my decision.'

And looking back on it now, I believe it was destiny.

I think it's all just fate.

Although it sounds cheesy, SEVENTEEN is my 'youth'

Literally my everything is in here.

I feel strong and deep emotions

Towards my dream, my future

If you feel that way, any moment you feel that way is your 'youth', really.

And I feel those emotions the strongest when I'm with SEVENTEEN.

What I feel the most is gratitude.

Our fans memorize entire songs from us, despite not being able to speak Korean.

They dance along, give out their energy, and make us feel it too.

I love how we send each other the energy we have.

I'm going to draw a person's face.

I'm just drawing it freely,

Letting my hands roam free.

I started this one on October 29, 2019.

I think I was struggling quite a lot back then.

Thank you~

There were so many people who celebrated my birthday.

I feel thankful.

Who am I to receive so much congratulations, from this many people?

I am feeling quite exhausted recently.

I think I'm more mentally exhausted than physically.

I experienced for the first time in my life, being unable to control my emotions.

I didn't know how to express what I felt then.

And I didn't really feel like confiding in someone either,

So I relieved such stress through drawing.

When I draw, I can empty my mind.

I drew a lot.

But I don't think I can show this to the fans.

I really like what I draw,

But I can't show it to them, because I feel they might get worried.

I try to read books, but I can't.

Because I feel like my head is going to explode.

I can't really read books right now because I'm losing focus.

You seemed to read a lot back when you were having that photoshoot.

When was it?

I don't really choose a certain time, I read whenever I feel like it.

I used to not really like reading, because it tires you out.

But turns out reading helps you a lot.

Living a busy life, people never really take time to think about their own emotions.

So I wanted to get more in touch with my personal emotions in my alone time.

I used to have thoughts like 'I'm this type of person I want to become this type of person'.

I had that. But now, I can't say with certainty

What kind of person I am anymore.

Very Nice!

THE 8, your outfit seems a bit different from the other members'.

We can dress more freely during the last encore,

So I coordinated my outfit in my own style.

Suspenders like these, Converse shoes,

And glasses that match the color of my shirt.

I thought a lot about what sides of me I should be showing my fans, as an artist

And how to make myself more visible within SEVENTEEN.

I pondered about it a lot, and one moment, the idea of fashion caught my eyes.

I've been increasingly more interested in clothes,

And my self-esteem is higher when I look in the mirror... I feel I'm being myself, when I have that confidence.

I've been into these kinds of coats lately.

So I wore a black coat earlier, and a red coat now.

And over-sized clothes give the shoulders a boost, like this.

I wore this at an event, at a photo-op

And it seemed really plain.

So this, it's an '8' because I'm THE 8.

And this, I just saw the clock, and it's THE 8 on the clock.

And this, I added because I watched 'Joker'.

And I've had bad things happen, so this is to tell myself that 'It'll be all right'

I love splattering paint.

I have a lot of paintings like this, from when I paint at home.

It really helps me decompress.

Oh wow, it looks so good.

I really like it.

It's nice. I'm lucky I can do the things I want, when I want.

When you're going through a lot, I've found you can become really selfish.

Being a bad influence on other people because of my own behavior,

I didn't know back then, but now I think to myself 'People around me would have had a hard time as well'.

And it made me more grateful overall.

Someone being by my side when I'm going through something, and being understanding

And so when I'm better, I need to return that to them.

I thought a lot about that too.

I felt so good that day.

Just walking through the streets was so relaxing,

And the children walking past were adorable

When I saw happy families passing by, it gave me happiness too.

Those little moments of happiness, you don't notice them when you're busy.

And those little things have such a big impact on me.

This is cool.

The train... It runs on the streets with people walking next to it.

That day was really relaxing, I took a lot of photos

And captured those memories.

It was a really ordinary day, but it was really special to me.

2019 was really rough for me.

But I don't want to forget that year.

Because those emotions are so precious to me.

Making a contemporary dance choreography,

And when I look back at the work I did at this time of my life,

'Oh, I had this emotion in that moment'.

I'm still searching to find what kind of person I am.

But from now on, I'll be expressing my emotions more openly to our fans.

Whether it be dance, painting, or songs,

These things through which I can express myself,

Whatever fans feel from these things, it's all who I am.

[Like how the sky is darkest before the sunrise]

[We're only going through our last growing pains]

- In Jeonghan's own words, who is Jeonghan of SEVENTEEN? - That's a hard one.

[SEVENTEEN HIT THE ROAD]