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  • - Jackie Files, if you're out there

  • this one's for you.

  • (string music)

  • Should I draw you cute or should I draw you old?

  • - You draw me however you wanna draw me, okay?

  • - I said old like it was a crime.

  • - Yeah, what the hell?

  • When do you think I went to college, Jackie?

  • - 1753.

  • The same age that Lincoln was born.

  • Kevin.

  • - Jackie.

  • - Not a lot of hair.

  • - That was mean.

  • (laughing)

  • Why would you say that?

  • - It's like Pokemon.

  • It's so popular that even I know Majin Buu

  • and I think Majin Buu is very cute.

  • - I don't know who Majin Buu is.

  • - Boo!

  • Get it, Majin Buu?

  • - Yeah, that's awful.

  • - Yoshi!

  • - Are you just gonna do voices this entire episode?

  • (yelling)

  • - It's a me, a Mario.

  • - Who's that?

  • - It's my friend , Yoshi.

  • - Oh that's Pikachu.

  • That's a really good one.

  • - Just draw, Jackie.

  • (laughing)

  • Cause here's the thing.

  • If I draw you in my style

  • it's just going to look like me.

  • - It's gonna look like you.

  • - With like, long black hair.

  • - Spider-Verse is the best movie ever created.

  • - It's really good.

  • - Miles, best Spider-Man.

  • Love Gwen Stefani.

  • - It's not, it's not Gwen.

  • - Love Peter Parker, Peter B Parker, Peter C Parker.

  • - It's not Gwen Stefani.

  • - Peter D Parker.

  • - It's Gwen Stacy.

  • - Peter F Parker.

  • - My favorite Spider-Man from Spider-Verse

  • was Peter B Parker, do you wanna know why?

  • - Is it cause your old?

  • - I'm making you draw a comic book character from my era.

  • - The 1700's?

  • - Stop it.

  • - (laughing)

  • - Oh, this is bleh.

  • This is close enough, but it's not great.

  • - You're scared of the "I love drawing Homer."

  • - I am scared of Mike's critique, I'm not gonna lie.

  • - You're afraid of the animator's hard mallets coming down.

  • - He draws Homer for a living.

  • Like that's that what he does.

  • - But you know what we do for a living?

  • - What?

  • - We are wrong for a living for the internet.

  • - We draw incorrectly for a living on the internet.

  • - Yeah, we draw other people's characters wrong

  • so that people can laugh at us.

  • So honestly.

  • - So honestly we're doing our job right now.

  • - We're doing our job if it's wrong. -Yeah.

  • - But we're really sorry. -We're really sorry.

  • - We're really trying our best. -We're really trying.

  • Isn't that wild and wacky?

  • - Stop saying wild and wacky.

  • - Isn't that Wild and Wacky with Barry Allen?

  • - And Jackie.

  • So I remember Dragon Ball Z mostly from the

  • Super Nintendo game.

  • - There's a Super Nintendo game?

  • - Oh hell yeah there is.

  • - Was it like a fighting game?

  • - Yeah, it's like Street Fighter.

  • But it's mostly just you throwing giant fireballs

  • and energy at each other.

  • - That sounds great.

  • - Yeah.

  • - That's all I want to do in real life.

  • - You just want to throw giant fireballs at me?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Jackie.

  • - Why wouldn't you?

  • - I thought we were friends.

  • - No.

  • You know I'm really good at doing Toad.

  • - Okay, give me some of your Toad.

  • - (screeching)

  • - Right?

  • I know that they need to collect the dragon balls

  • to make their wish come true.

  • - Wait are we sure this isn't Pokemon?

  • - No.

  • - Give me your best Wario.

  • - (ensemble growling)

  • - But Nintendo games are great.

  • And if you have the excess funds to purchase one

  • I highly recommend it.

  • - I don't have a Switch.

  • - You're different, I hate you already.

  • - When they're like juicing up to become Super Saiyans.

  • - Juicing up?

  • - When they're juicing up, you know what I mean.

  • - Ew.

  • - You know what I'm talking about Jackie.

  • Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about.

  • - Don't say Goku is "juicing up."

  • - Don't like rocks and stuff float whenever

  • they're juicing up?

  • - Stop saying juicing up.

  • - Juicing up Jackie.

  • - I'm leaving.

  • Wow Justice League.

  • - Yeah.

  • - I think I love them.

  • - Do you know who the Justice League are?

  • - Superman.

  • - You sound very confident.

  • - I like bumbling buff idiots.

  • - You really do.

  • - Yeah I like the dumb ones.

  • - That's your type.

  • - I'm going to beef it, I'm going to beef it on purpose.

  • - You're going to what?

  • - I'm going to beef it on purpose.

  • - What does beef it mean, Jackie?

  • 'Cause I have a definition of what beef it means.

  • - You don't what beef it means? -I mean.

  • - It just means you've made a mistake.

  • - Right.

  • Also when I was growing up though

  • beef it meant to fart.

  • - I'm beefin' it.

  • - Stop saying beefing it.

  • - It smells so bad.

  • - (laughing)

  • - It smells so bad guys.

  • I'm beefing, I'm beefing.

  • - And today we're gonna be drawing.

  • - My neck hurts.

  • - That's not what we're drawing.

  • Today we're going to be drawing Marvel superheroes

  • from memory.

  • - Didn't we already do that?

  • - We did DC.

  • - I don't know.

  • - We did Justice League.

  • - Whatever.

  • - Get your universes straight.

  • - Whatever, they're all the same guy.

  • - That's disconcerting, okay I gave him way too much crotch.

  • (duck quaking)

  • He has a saddle right?

  • - I think he has a shell.

  • - Oh no, really?

  • What does Mario sit on?

  • - The shell part.

  • I don't think he--are you drawing a horse?

  • - I think I'm drawing a horse, Jackie.

  • - I think you're--I think you're thinking of a green horse.

  • - I think I'm thinking of a green horse.

  • To draw someone is a very precious thing

  • and I don't want to disappoint you.

  • - I'm gonna cry.

  • - Stop it.

  • - I mean from disappointment.

  • At first they didn't want to make Spider-Man

  • because they were like

  • nobody likes spiders, this is gonna be gross.

  • - That was Stan Lee's story behind it.

  • And he was like, I'll show them

  • I'll make him the most popular superhero in the world.

  • - Yeah for some reason, he's been old his whole life.

  • In this scenario he's already, like 90.

  • He's kinda looking more like a McDonald's character

  • right now, than a Justice League character.

  • I apologize to Barry Allen and his son Wally West.

  • - Oh wait, he has a son?

  • - No, I don't think so.

  • - John Brad is like.

  • - He's wacky!

  • - Is he wild and wacky?

  • - He's wild and wacky with Overwatch.

  • His hair is on fire.

  • - Seriously?

  • - Kind of and he is missing two limbs.

  • Kevin, what's your favorite episode of The Simpsons?

  • - So my favorite episode of The Simpsons

  • is called "Lisa's Substitute."

  • It's a episode in the second season where Lisa

  • has a very inspiring teacher who ends up going away

  • because he's a substitute teacher.

  • But he gives her the sweetest note in the world.

  • And tells her only look at it when you are starting

  • to doubt yourself.

  • And as he goes away, she opens it up.

  • And it says "you are Lisa Simpson."

  • - Aw, that makes me cry. -Right?

  • It's so sweet. -I'm gonna cry.

  • - Yeah, but then my other favorite episode is the one

  • - I'm actually crying.

  • - Are you? -That's so sweet.

  • - Seriously? -Yeah.

  • (crying)

  • - Jackie.

  • - That's so cute.

  • - Oh my god.

  • You okay?

  • - That was so cute.

  • - And that was just the synopsis

  • you should watch the actual episode.

  • You should watch it.

  • - Oh my god you guys, look.

  • I'm a mess.

  • - I mean if you wanna go into a story.

  • He's undead.

  • The devil being the devil

  • gave him like demonic superpowers.

  • Put him back on Earth

  • but then wiped his memory so he didn't know

  • who his wife was.

  • - Oh, so that sucks. - Yeah.

  • - I will draw what I think Spawn's Lola would be.

  • - Follow your heart.

  • - And it's Skull cause goth's love human anatomy.

  • - (laughing)

  • - If you're favorite superhero is Venom

  • you're either a really edgy 13 year old boy

  • or a 25 year old woman

  • that just got out of a long relationship.

  • - Mine is very plain.

  • - Mmm.

  • - I am going to warn you though

  • there's a lot of crotch coming your way.

  • - Watch again, bringing up the crotch.

  • - There's a lot of crotch coming your way

  • so you're just gonna have to deal with it.

  • - I'm just gonna deal with Flash's groin.

  • Flash's crotch.

  • - His costume is so simple

  • but there's no way to mask his groin.

  • - I mean there is, but you know Kevin

  • I'm just gonna let it slide this time

  • 'cause I don't wanna hear you say crotch again.

  • - I'm just letting you know, lotta crotch.

  • - You really overplayed the crotch.

  • - Really?

  • - The way you described it

  • I was thinking you gave him like a basketball in there.

  • You know what?

  • A good anime face.

  • - Really?

  • - And you know what else I'm gonna say?

  • It looks nothing like Kevin.

  • It does not look like Kevin at all.

  • - It's gotta be Hilda anime though.

  • 'Cause it's very specific.

  • - Yeah, I'm glad we didn't do it.

  • (ensemble chuckling)

  • - I'm nervous, I'm very nervous.

  • - Don't be scared Kevin.

  • All he'll do is say it's awful

  • and draw over it to make it perfect.

  • - Wow.

  • - This is like Homer Simpson meets George Jetson.

  • - Okay.

  • You're definitely a lot closer than me.

  • - Why did you think this works?

  • - It felt right when I was working on the sketch.

  • And you're right, now that it's done

  • we're all geniuses in hindsight, Jackie.

  • - I don't understand .

  • - Oh my god I just realized I did not draw his other hand.

  • Yeah, I'm just gonna beef this hand.

  • - Ha, you're going to beef it!

  • - I'm just gonna beef this hand.

  • - I knew it, I knew that would catch on.

  • (laughing)

  • - Scary.

  • - We just--we just look up at each other

  • and we're just looking at each other like.

  • - We're like, what are you?

  • - We're just like, what do you look like?

  • - What do you look like?

  • What do you look like every time we do this

  • and I still don't know.

  • - What do you look like Jackie?

  • - So I think I just drew Venom in goth clothes.

  • - You're not far off.

  • - I don't like Spawn.

  • - Listen, if you were a dude like me in the 90's

  • you were all about Spawn.

  • - It's a good thing I'm a woman like me in the 2010's.

  • And I love instead dirty pyromaniacs.

  • Hey remember the thing you can do to make it

  • look like your pencil is wobbly.

  • (giggling)

  • - We get it Jackie, you finished before I did.

  • - I'm trying to entertain them.

  • You know what Kevin

  • this is why you need to believe in yourself.

  • You need to trust your gut like Homer has a gut.

  • Am I right Mike?

  • That's right.

  • - I did my best low-budget Todd MacFarlane style.

  • - Todd MacFarlane style.

  • - Spider-Man.

  • - Spider-Man - Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - He would be very upset if he saw this.

  • - He would be very upset if he saw this.

  • - Yeah. -Yeah.

  • But it's definitely Spider-Man.

  • - It's definitely Spider-Man.

  • - Stop doing that.

  • (chuckling)

  • - All right, switcharoo?

  • - Switcharoo.

  • - Buckaroo.

  • - I was gonna say curse words.

  • This looks like Aquaman cosplaying Junkrat.

  • Why'd do you give him like an earring?

  • - 'Cause he's like a crazy guy.

  • - A crazy dude.

  • - Yeah he's got earrings!

  • - Oh, I'm so wacky, watch this!

  • (yelling)

  • - I'm real slow when it comes to drawing.

  • - I'm real slow when it comes to thinking.

  • Am I right ladies?

  • Two brain cells, hands up!

  • That's millennial talk for you.

  • - So the fact that I got closer than I thought that I did

  • I will say is a compliment to your descriptive abilities.

  • - And you know what.

  • Me getting really far off is an insult

  • to you.

  • (string music)

- Jackie Files, if you're out there

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10分鐘的成龍烤凱文--抽籤儀式 (10 Minutes Of Jackie Roasting Kevin • Draw-Off)

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    Summer 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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