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  • -How's everyone doing tonight?

  • Are you realizing that meal you love cooking

  • more than anything no longer brings you joy

  • after eating it 15 times last month?

  • Yeah. Same here. Let's get to the news.

  • President Trump participated in a Fox News

  • virtual town hall at the Lincoln Memorial yesterday.

  • Said Lincoln, "This is literally the worst thing

  • that's ever happened to me."

  • That's right -- President Trump participated in

  • a Fox News town hall at the Lincoln Memorial,

  • though I think Fox was just excited to finally feature

  • a competent Republican president.

  • During a Fox News town hall last night, President Trump

  • claimed that reporters asked him the

  • "most horrible, horrendous, biased questions"

  • during press conferences.

  • Said the Fox reporter,

  • "Do you think it's because you're too hot?

  • Do you think that might be it?"

  • Newly appointed White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany

  • had her first formal briefing on Friday

  • and told reporters she will "never lie to them."

  • Oh, really?

  • Even the way you spell "Kayleigh" is a lie.

  • G-H?

  • Come on, now. Where'd those come from?

  • According to a new survey, New York governor Andrew Cuomo

  • and his brother, CNN anchor Chris Cuomo, were as attractive

  • to New York women as the Jonas brothers.

  • Said New York women, "Listen,

  • we've been locked inside for a long time.

  • Just keep that in mind when reading hotness surveys."

  • In a radio interview last week, New York governor Andrew Cuomo

  • was asked if he was still an eligible bachelor,

  • though I think he made that clear

  • at his last press conference.

  • A strip club in Oregon is offering

  • a drive-through experience for customers

  • in the parking lot during the coronavirus pandemic.

  • You know it's bad when a strip club

  • is following safety guidelines better than the vice president.

  • Although, in his defense,

  • I bet he wears a mask to a strip club.

  • Health officials in Michigan have launched

  • a free condom-delivery service during the coronavirus pandemic,

  • because they realize maybe it's best

  • these guys don't reproduce.

  • A man in Iceland set a world record over the weekend

  • by lifting over 1,100 pounds.

  • Said the man, "Why isn't anyone helping me?"

  • It was an accidental record.

  • He didn't mean to lift 1,100 pounds, you guys.

  • According to a new report,

  • Americans are buying more processed food

  • during the coronavirus pandemic,

  • most notably, processed grapes.

  • And, finally, today was "Star Wars" Day.

  • So go ahead, finally tell that kid you're his dad.

  • Scollins!

  • Mike Scollins, everybody.

  • Go give him an earful on Twitter.

  • Hey, that was the monologue.

-How's everyone doing tonight?


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B1 中級

特朗普參加福克斯新聞虛擬市政廳活動 (Trump Participates in Fox News Virtual Town Hall)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日