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  • Let's kick it off with a story that'll make everyone smile.

  • Well, everyone except the coronavirus.

  • This lady has seen a lot in her life.

  • She survived the Spanish Flu, early in the last century,

  • and now at 101, she has just beaten Covid-19.

  • MAN: Call her "Super Granny."

  • Angelina Friedman proudly shares,

  • "I am 101 years old and I beat Covid-19."

  • The Westchester, New York woman

  • not only beat the coronavirus at her nursing home,

  • but also lived through the 1918 Spanish Flu.

  • Her family says the centenarian possesses "superhuman DNA."

  • Yes? Good.

  • Damn. This woman lived through the Spanish Flu,

  • and beat coronavirus?

  • Not to mention that in 2010, she also beat Bieber Fever.

  • She was one of the lucky few.

  • And coronavirus must be really embarrassed by this.

  • I mean, you got beaten by a 101-year-old woman.

  • I bet corona's there with all the other diseases like,

  • "She didn't beat me, man. I let her win."

  • But one thing is clear.

  • If you've ever given your grandmother

  • a "World's Greatest Grandma" mug,

  • you better confiscate that thing immediately. Yeah.

  • "Sorry, Meemaw. Turns out you ain't shit."

  • And here's some more good news.

  • In the last few weeks,

  • some countries have slowly been emerging

  • from their corona hibernation, and now, even Italy,

  • one of the hardest hit countries,

  • is starting to open up again.

  • MAN: After eight weeks of silence,

  • today, the streets of Italy are slowly coming back to life.

  • Construction sites, factories and parks reopening.

  • Italians will be able to travel locally and order takeout.

  • MAN 2: Joggers allowed once again

  • to run in parks long off limits.

  • In Rome's iconic Campo de Fiori flower market,

  • the florists have returned.

  • Cafes like the Antico Caffè Greco,

  • the oldest in Rome, can once again serve coffee.

  • In 260 years, has this cafe ever been closed?

  • Never, never closed.

  • -Not even during World War II? -No.

  • Hoorah!

  • (Italian accent): "Italy is getting-a back to work."

  • That is such great news, man.

  • Because there's a lot of work to be done in Italy.

  • I mean, corona-- ooh--

  • corona really messed up that whole country.

  • The towers are falling over, the streets are flooded,

  • their stadiums are in ruins.

  • It's a mess over there right now.

  • I do worry about Italy, though,

  • because Italians are all about kissing and hugging.

  • But with coronavirus still out there,

  • they can't do all of that.

  • How are they gonna show affection, huh?

  • Because I mean, we-we can replace handshakes with elbows.

  • We can just do that thing.

  • But that won't work for the Italian kiss.

  • (with Italian accent): "Good to see you, Giovanni.

  • Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah."

  • Basically what I'm saying is, post-coronavirus,

  • every country is just gonna have to become Russia.

  • (with Russian accent): "We do not touch.

  • "We do not kiss.

  • "When I make love, I just stare so hard at them

  • that they can feel it."

  • Here's another fun story.

  • Every day, we're hearing

  • about how animals are thriving without us.

  • But in Japan, it turns out

  • that there are some animals that just miss our face.

  • A Japanese aquarium is asking people

  • to make video calls to their eels.

  • Why? It's all to remind the sensitive creatures,

  • humans exist and don't pose a threat.

  • With a largely human-free environment

  • the last couple months, aquarium staff say,

  • when keepers try to check on the garden eels,

  • they hide in the sand.

  • In a bid to reacquaint the eels with humans,

  • they aquarium is setting up five tablets

  • and asking eel enthusiasts to connect via FaceTime.

  • That's right. Because there haven't been any visitors

  • at the zoo, the zoo wants people to video chat with the eels

  • so that they remember humans and don't view them

  • as a threat when people come back. Yeah.

  • Although if you ask me,

  • reminding the eels about humans will have the opposite effect.

  • "Why is the ocean so small?

  • "Oh, right.

  • The humans put us in a water zoo."

  • Oh, and you know what the good news is?

  • Eels are perfectly designed for video chat.

  • Yeah, because if anyone tries to flash their penis

  • on these Zoom calls, the eels-- they're not gonna be phased.

  • They'll just be like, "Ah, look at that.

  • "Another eel on the call.

  • "A very strange eel.

  • "So small and so pale.

  • He must be sick."

Let's kick it off with a story that'll make everyone smile.

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B1 中級 美國腔

意大利重返工作崗位 (Italy Goes Back to Work)

  • 5 0
    Amy.Lin 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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