字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 -Can you see? It's, like, budding. I don't know. Where's the best one? Right there. It's like... Come on. It's all happening right now. Hi, everybody. I want to thank everyone for tuning in to our show and for staying inside or in their area. You're doing the right thing. And to all my fellow New Yorkers, I got to say, I'm so proud of you for staying inside and wearing a mask and just doing the right thing. A lot of people are watching us. A lot of people are watching New York to see what we do, and so you really are setting the bar, so thank you so much for that. Yeah. It's Thursday, so that's closer to Friday. Right? It's basically Friday. So, let's make some jokes and comedy. -[ Laughs ] ♪♪ -♪ We in the house ♪ -Come on! -Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests -- Vince Vaughn, Gigi Hadid, musical guest Maluma, and the legendary Roots crew. It's "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition." -We in the house, y'all. -And now, here's Jimmy. -Hey, guys. Welcome to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition." Well, you guys, today is National Honesty Day, which means tomorrow is National "Hey, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn't mean that." This is exciting. Dr. Fauci said the U.S. government could have a coronavirus vaccine ready by January. So, good news -- we'll be free to go out the exact moment we get snowed in. Some business news. On Monday, Macy's plans on reopening 68 of their stores, and they're gonna limit how many customers walk in the same way they always have -- by putting a perfume sprayer at every entrance. "Would you like a -- Would you..." [ Wheezes ] I saw that Chick-fil-A is going to start selling at-home meal kits. Chick-fil-A said, "The only catch is -- if you cook it on Sunday, you're going to hell." 'Cause they're not open on Sunday. This is fun. I read that Haribo gummies is celebrating their 100-year anniversary with a bag that includes gummies from all over the world. People say all the gummies are good, but the ones from Amsterdam are amazing. In an Instagram post, Britney Spears said that she accidently burned down her home gym. Yep, she said it was an accident, but people are suspicious, because today, she released her new single, "Oops!...I Did It For the Insurance Money." Listen to this. A city in Sweden dumped over 2,000 pounds of chicken manure in its main park to keep residents from gathering there. Meanwhile, locals were like, "Or you could have just put up a sign. I guess you went with the chicken-manure route." I read about a guy in Georgia who is trying to set a world record by having the biggest LEGO "Star Wars" collection. It was a fun idea until his family was like, "You did what with our stimulus check?" [ Toilet flushes ] -[ Laughs ] -I mean, that's no sound effect. A flushing sound effect after the joke? -[ Laughs ] -Right after the joke. "You did what with our stimulus check?" [ Both laugh ] A woman who got a lottery ticket from her daughter as an early Mother's Day gift... [ Both laugh ] [ Imitates toilet flushing ] A woman who got a lottery ticket from her daughter as an early Mother's Day gift won over a million dollars. Meanwhile, her son was standing there with a card and a painted rock like, "You gotta be kidding me." That was my gift to my mom always -- a painted rock...with crayon. And it was a good gift. No one else was giving out those rocks. And she saved them. There was, like, a drawer full of rocks with crayons on them. Finally, I saw that the FDA told manufacturers to make sure its hand sanitizer taste worse so people don't accidently drink it. Well, it seems like manufacturers are stepping up. I think it might really help people stay safe. Check out this commercial I just saw. -Here at Purell, we know that it's important to stay safe, which is why we're releasing a whole new line of unappetizing Purell flavors, such as spin-class bike seat, Taco Bell bathroom, electrical fire, salami burp, summer petting zoo, that incense people use to cover up the pot smell, but then it just mixes with it to create a whole new smell that's like incense-pot, and, of course, egg? So, remember, these aren't for eating. They're just for rubbing all over your hands. -Hey, that's our monologue, everybody. Thank you very much. What a show we a have tonight. Oh, gosh, he's funny. He's a great actor. I just love the guy. I miss him. Vince Vaughn is on our show tonight. USO is his charity that he's going with, and that's a great organization. We've both done stuff for USO, and that's cool. It's fun to catch up with Vince. He's a very funny guy. Also, Gigi Hadid is on the show tonight. We're going to talk. She's an expecting mother right now. I'm so excited to see her and talk to her about what's happening. And she must be so happy and over the moon. We love her. Here is -- Her charity is feedingamerica.org/tonightshow there. And music -- we have Maluma, who is just awesome. Yesterday, talking to him, but he's going to perform for us tonight, and that will be super-fun. Thank you, Maluma. Guys, have to mention our friends at Salesforce. Thank you so much. If you text "meals" to 80100, they will match up to $250,000 up until June 1st. So keep going, keep going, keep going. Thank you so much. It's so easy -- just text "meals" to 80100. Thank you for doing that. All the money goes to World Central Kitchen. And thank you, Salesforce, for doing that. Big step up. ♪♪ -♪ "Hashtags" ♪ -It is now time for "Hashtags." This is a game that I play with you guys. Every Tuesday, I'll send out a topic or something on the socials, and I'll say, "Hey --" Like, this one is #QuarantineABook. So you get a book title and make it somehow about the quarantine. Well, we did that. It was the number-one trend in the United States. So thank you very much for doing that and playing along with us. We do it every single week, so thank you so much. Man, oh, man, there's some funny choices out there. I think I did -- "Big Little Lysol" was my hashtag. But, anyways, you guys topped me, definitely. So, let's go through some hashtags on "Quarantine a Book." This is from @carrerasherry. She said, "Oh, The Places You Can't Go." This one's from @trivworks. They said, "Are You There God? Unmute Yourself." "You're on mute! You're on mute! Aah! Write it down." This one's from @wordsgirl. She said, "James and the Giant Bleach." Don't eat bleach, everyone. This one's from @gumgummerson. Oh, we love gumgummerson. Thank you, Gum. Gumgummerson -- he said, "The Toilet Paper is Gone, Girl." "The Toilet Paper is Gone, Girl." That was a great book. Wasn't that fun to read? -Mm-hmm. So good. -Whipped through that book like it was -- I couldn't wait to jump back in. That was a great book. Loved it. This one's from @Ryanbartholome. I know that. He said, "Harry potter and the Order of the Amazon." This one's from @Jacks. She said, "Charlotte's WebMD." It's a good book. Sad, sad ending. But that's the circle of life. This one's from @ericajuarez71. She said, "Eat, Pray, Then Eat Again." This one's from @stealyospaghettios. He said, "The Call of the Child." Oh, I know that call. This last one is from our buddy Padma Lakshmi. Padma, thank you for playing the game. I'm watching "Top Chef: L.A." and loving it and loving you. You're awesome. So thank you for everything you're doing. Thank you for playing our game, as well, 'cause it helps us. I love it. Padma said, "Jane Eyre You Going to Finish Those Chips?" "Hey, Jane, Eyre you gonna finish those chips?" Padma, I love it. I love you. We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show." Just stand there so I can take a picture. That's it. Just stand there, and then I can just take the picture. Just stand there, and then I can take the picture. Just stand there a minute. I'll take your picture. Stand there, and I can take the picture. Just stand there, and I can take the picture. Just stand there, and I'll take the picture.
A2 初級 今夜秀》。在家版 (標籤:#QuarantineABook) (The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Hashtags: #QuarantineABook)) 7 0 林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日 更多分享 分享 收藏 回報 影片單字