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  • -Can you see? It's, like, budding.

  • I don't know. Where's the best one?

  • Right there. It's like...

  • Come on. It's all happening right now.

  • Hi, everybody.

  • I want to thank everyone for tuning in to our show

  • and for staying inside or in their area.

  • You're doing the right thing.

  • And to all my fellow New Yorkers, I got to say,

  • I'm so proud of you for staying inside and wearing a mask

  • and just doing the right thing.

  • A lot of people are watching us.

  • A lot of people are watching New York

  • to see what we do, and so you really are setting the bar,

  • so thank you so much for that.

  • Yeah. It's Thursday, so that's closer to Friday.

  • Right? It's basically Friday.

  • So, let's make some jokes and comedy.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ We in the house

  • -Come on!

  • -Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests --

  • Vince Vaughn,

  • Gigi Hadid,

  • musical guest Maluma,

  • and the legendary Roots crew.

  • It's "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • -We in the house, y'all.

  • -And now, here's Jimmy. -Hey, guys.

  • Welcome to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • Well, you guys, today is National Honesty Day,

  • which means tomorrow is National

  • "Hey, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday.

  • I didn't mean that."

  • This is exciting.

  • Dr. Fauci said the U.S. government

  • could have a coronavirus vaccine ready by January.

  • So, good news -- we'll be free to go out

  • the exact moment we get snowed in.

  • Some business news.

  • On Monday, Macy's plans on reopening 68 of their stores,

  • and they're gonna limit how many customers walk in the same way

  • they always have -- by putting a perfume sprayer

  • at every entrance.

  • "Would you like a -- Would you..."

  • [ Wheezes ]

  • I saw that Chick-fil-A is going to start selling

  • at-home meal kits.

  • Chick-fil-A said, "The only catch is --

  • if you cook it on Sunday, you're going to hell."

  • 'Cause they're not open on Sunday.

  • This is fun.

  • I read that Haribo gummies is celebrating

  • their 100-year anniversary with a bag

  • that includes gummies from all over the world.

  • People say all the gummies are good,

  • but the ones from Amsterdam are amazing.

  • In an Instagram post, Britney Spears

  • said that she accidently burned down her home gym.

  • Yep, she said it was an accident,

  • but people are suspicious, because today,

  • she released her new single,

  • "Oops!...I Did It For the Insurance Money."

  • Listen to this.

  • A city in Sweden dumped over 2,000 pounds of chicken manure

  • in its main park to keep residents from gathering there.

  • Meanwhile, locals were like,

  • "Or you could have just put up a sign.

  • I guess you went with the chicken-manure route."

  • I read about a guy in Georgia who is trying

  • to set a world record by having the biggest

  • LEGO "Star Wars" collection.

  • It was a fun idea until his family was like,

  • "You did what with our stimulus check?"

  • [ Toilet flushes ]

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -I mean, that's no sound effect.

  • A flushing sound effect after the joke?

  • -[ Laughs ] -Right after the joke.

  • "You did what with our stimulus check?"

  • [ Both laugh ]

  • A woman who got a lottery ticket from her daughter

  • as an early Mother's Day gift...

  • [ Both laugh ]

  • [ Imitates toilet flushing ]

  • A woman who got a lottery ticket from her daughter

  • as an early Mother's Day gift won over a million dollars.

  • Meanwhile, her son was standing there with a card

  • and a painted rock like, "You gotta be kidding me."

  • That was my gift to my mom always --

  • a painted rock...with crayon.

  • And it was a good gift.

  • No one else was giving out those rocks.

  • And she saved them.

  • There was, like, a drawer full of rocks with crayons on them.

  • Finally, I saw that the FDA told manufacturers

  • to make sure its hand sanitizer taste worse

  • so people don't accidently drink it.

  • Well, it seems like manufacturers are stepping up.

  • I think it might really help people stay safe.

  • Check out this commercial I just saw.

  • -Here at Purell, we know that it's important

  • to stay safe, which is why we're releasing

  • a whole new line of unappetizing Purell flavors,

  • such as spin-class bike seat, Taco Bell bathroom,

  • electrical fire, salami burp, summer petting zoo,

  • that incense people use to cover up the pot smell,

  • but then it just mixes with it to create

  • a whole new smell that's like incense-pot,

  • and, of course, egg?

  • So, remember, these aren't for eating.

  • They're just for rubbing all over your hands.

  • -Hey, that's our monologue, everybody.

  • Thank you very much. What a show we a have tonight.

  • Oh, gosh, he's funny. He's a great actor.

  • I just love the guy. I miss him.

  • Vince Vaughn is on our show tonight.

  • USO is his charity that he's going with,

  • and that's a great organization.

  • We've both done stuff for USO, and that's cool.

  • It's fun to catch up with Vince. He's a very funny guy.

  • Also, Gigi Hadid is on the show tonight.

  • We're going to talk.

  • She's an expecting mother right now.

  • I'm so excited to see her

  • and talk to her about what's happening.

  • And she must be so happy and over the moon.

  • We love her.

  • Here is -- Her charity is

  • feedingamerica.org/tonightshow there.

  • And music -- we have Maluma, who is just awesome.

  • Yesterday, talking to him, but he's going to perform

  • for us tonight, and that will be super-fun.

  • Thank you, Maluma.

  • Guys, have to mention our friends at Salesforce.

  • Thank you so much.

  • If you text "meals" to 80100,

  • they will match up to $250,000 up until June 1st.

  • So keep going, keep going, keep going.

  • Thank you so much.

  • It's so easy -- just text "meals" to 80100.

  • Thank you for doing that.

  • All the money goes to World Central Kitchen.

  • And thank you, Salesforce, for doing that.

  • Big step up.

  • ♪♪

  • -♪ "Hashtags" ♪

  • -It is now time for "Hashtags."

  • This is a game that I play with you guys.

  • Every Tuesday, I'll send out

  • a topic or something on the socials,

  • and I'll say, "Hey --"

  • Like, this one is #QuarantineABook.

  • So you get a book title and make it somehow about the quarantine.

  • Well, we did that.

  • It was the number-one trend in the United States.

  • So thank you very much for doing that

  • and playing along with us.

  • We do it every single week, so thank you so much.

  • Man, oh, man, there's some funny choices out there.

  • I think I did --

  • "Big Little Lysol" was my hashtag.

  • But, anyways, you guys topped me, definitely.

  • So, let's go through some hashtags on "Quarantine a Book."

  • This is from @carrerasherry.

  • She said, "Oh, The Places You Can't Go."

  • This one's from @trivworks.

  • They said, "Are You There God? Unmute Yourself."

  • "You're on mute! You're on mute! Aah! Write it down."

  • This one's from @wordsgirl.

  • She said, "James and the Giant Bleach."

  • Don't eat bleach, everyone.

  • This one's from @gumgummerson. Oh, we love gumgummerson.

  • Thank you, Gum.

  • Gumgummerson -- he said,

  • "The Toilet Paper is Gone, Girl."

  • "The Toilet Paper is Gone, Girl."

  • That was a great book. Wasn't that fun to read?

  • -Mm-hmm. So good.

  • -Whipped through that book like it was --

  • I couldn't wait to jump back in.

  • That was a great book. Loved it.

  • This one's from @Ryanbartholome. I know that.

  • He said, "Harry potter and the Order of the Amazon."

  • This one's from @Jacks.

  • She said, "Charlotte's WebMD."

  • It's a good book. Sad, sad ending.

  • But that's the circle of life.

  • This one's from @ericajuarez71.

  • She said, "Eat, Pray, Then Eat Again."

  • This one's from @stealyospaghettios.

  • He said, "The Call of the Child."

  • Oh, I know that call.

  • This last one is from our buddy Padma Lakshmi.

  • Padma, thank you for playing the game.

  • I'm watching "Top Chef: L.A." and loving it and loving you.

  • You're awesome.

  • So thank you for everything you're doing.

  • Thank you for playing our game, as well,

  • 'cause it helps us.

  • I love it.

  • Padma said, "Jane Eyre You Going to Finish Those Chips?"

  • "Hey, Jane, Eyre you gonna finish those chips?"

  • Padma, I love it. I love you.

  • We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."

  • Just stand there so I can take a picture.

  • That's it.

  • Just stand there, and then I can just take the picture.

  • Just stand there, and then I can take the picture.

  • Just stand there a minute. I'll take your picture.

  • Stand there, and I can take the picture.

  • Just stand there, and I can take the picture.

  • Just stand there, and I'll take the picture.

-Can you see? It's, like, budding.

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今夜秀》。在家版 (標籤:#QuarantineABook) (The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Hashtags: #QuarantineABook))

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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