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  • - All right class, you will now have an hour

  • to finish your exam, begin.

  • - Psst, Dave!

  • Daaaave! What'd you get for number two?

  • - Jake, I can hear you. Everyone can hear you.

  • - Sorry Mr. B!

  • (electronic ping)

  • - Excuse me, Jake. You do realize I can

  • see the chat as well?

  • - Sorry Mr. B, won't happen again.

  • - Oh my god, Jake you realize I can, you know what

  • it's fine, the answer is 17.

  • The answer to number two is 17.

  • - Thanks Mr. B, you're the best!

  • What about number three?

  • - Every online class ever.

  • - Let's have Lacey present next.

  • - Oh great, I totally am prepared

  • and knew that today was presentation day.

  • So, my topic was the Industrial Revolution.

  • So in 18...

  • - Oh?

  • - ...hardships were...

  • France was...

  • - (loudly) Oh Lacey, you're glitching!

  • - Struggling through the middle class...

  • Child labor and var-...

  • - We'll just have you go next week.

  • - Siiiick!

  • - Oh, that's better! Continue!

  • - Si-...

  • ...ick...

  • - Uh, nevermind.

  • - Uh I've been doing online school for my whole life.

  • - Okay this is my first time teaching online

  • and uh, can everyone hear me okay?

  • - Um, you are actually just a little bit quiet.

  • - Oh okay, no problem I'll just hit the microphone button.

  • - No, you just muted your mic.

  • - (silently) What?

  • - (enunciated) You muted your mic! We can't hear you.

  • - (still silently mouthing words)

  • - You just muted...

  • Ya know what, yeah we can hear you just fine.

  • It's perfect. Please continue.

  • - Hey make sure to check out my

  • graduation video on smoshpit.

  • - (whistle blow) All right class, I know that

  • doing P.E. remotely might seem a little weird but

  • we're gonna do it just like a normal class.

  • So starting off with some jumping jacks, let's go!

  • (workout music)

  • - You guys doin' them?

  • I- I can't see you, are you guys doin' them?

  • - Yup.

  • - Wow, these jumping jacks are so hard.

  • - (snoring)

  • (on recorder) Yes coach, I can feel the burn.

  • - I wanna hear those jacks get jumped.

  • - I'm not wearing pants.

  • - (whistle)

  • Okay, so it's come to my attention that last class

  • none of you guys were actually doing any of the exercises.

  • So I'm making you video chat with me so I can see you.

  • All right, let's start off with some brutal squats.

  • Here we go!

  • (workout music)

  • - Yeah, I see you Jenn, you're getting after it, good job.

  • - Thanks coach!

  • - My balls are slipping out.

  • - Hey guys, look at my background. Give me attention.

  • - Okay so I figured out how to not mute myself.

  • Uh, don't hit the little microphone button. Heh.

  • Okay anyway let's get into the lecture slides.

  • An estimated...

  • (background laughs from the students)

  • - What?

  • Why am I a potato?

  • (more laughter)

  • - How do I- does anyone know how to-

  • Does anyone know how to turn the potato off?

  • Anybody?

  • Okay, forget about it. An estimated

  • 15,000 total deaths

  • occurred during the war of 1812 on the American side.

  • (more laughter)

  • - Okay, why am I a pickle now?

  • Whatever. Let's just go to the next slide.

  • - (baby voice) There was a lot of other

  • causes of death, ya know there was battle wounds, disease...

  • Okay guys is something funny about people dying?

  • During war time? Guys? Really? Grow up.

  • - (laughter) Look at him!

  • - You guys are being babies.

  • - Hey, bright side. Now you don't have

  • to smell your classmates.

  • - Hey, um, listen, I was wondering if you would

  • wanna go to prom with me?

  • - Ew, no. I have a boyfriend.

  • - Oh but I miss the smell.

  • - Chad, I've noticed you've been

  • kinda checked out during class.

  • - (scoffs) Whatever.

  • - No, not whatever. You need to take this seriously, okay?

  • This matters! It all matters!

  • Jeez.

  • I mean, school's important. You don't wanna end up

  • as some, you know, old, drunk, idiot.

  • (laughs)

  • - It's the future! Future school.

  • - Okay class let's get started...

  • (dog barking outside)

  • - Let's start with...

  • (dog continues to bark)

  • - The Industrial-

  • (bark)

  • - Reva...

  • (bark)

  • - Lou...

  • (bark)

  • - Tion...

  • (dog now howling)

  • - Okay, class is over. I have to murder my neighbor's dog.

  • - No I don't have Fortnite up in the background!

  • - Sorry you guys, my kid's on antibiotics and

  • he just had a blow out all over my jeans and I

  • had no idea for an hour.

  • (laughs)

  • Okay, okay. Bradley, you present first.

  • - Excellent choice teach.

  • Let me show you frickin' nerds how it's done.

  • Okay um, how do I share my screen?

  • - What a dork!

  • - He doesn't even know how to

  • click the button that says present.

  • - Hey, shut up nerds or I'll drive

  • to your house and kick your ass.

  • - I don't know how you're going to do that.

  • I just hacked your account. They're seizing your cars.

  • - Oops, I just swatted you!

  • - You swatted me? What's- what's swat?

  • (loud noise in background)

  • No, no, nonononono!

  • - Who's the nerd now, bitch?

  • - I just opened up a 401k for him.

  • - Why'd you do that?

  • - His life is about balance, Thanos taught me that.

  • - Hey sorry I'm late, I slept in on purpose.

  • - But she couldn't just let her father join the army.

  • He wasn't fit. So she decided to take his place.

  • Even though, women at the time

  • weren't allowed to be Samurai.

  • - All right, I made some munchies for my munchie munchkin!

  • - Mom, get out! You're embarrassing me.

  • - Oh but sweetie I'm just so happy you're

  • back from college and you look

  • so malnourished so I made you a plate.

  • - Please, mom.

  • - Okay I get it. I'll leave this right here for

  • when you're hungy hungry, you can have that.

  • (blows kiss)

  • - We all good over there?

  • (laughter)

  • - I hate Yale.

  • - Hey sorry I'm late, time has lost all meaning.

  • - Okay so I figured out how to not mute myself and

  • how to not add silly filters so let's just

  • get onto the discussion of The War of 1812.

  • I sent you all a link that I want you to all open.

  • That's the one labeled, doc.exe.

  • Hello?

  • Where'd everyone go?

  • - He sent us fucking virus.

  • - Pro tip, film a video of yourself paying attention

  • and use it as your background and then go to sleep.

  • - Just because we aren't in school

  • doesn't mean the play is canceled.

  • As they say in theater, the show must go on.

  • I've cast the two leads in our production of,

  • The Notebook, Claire and Devon.

  • Congratulations!

  • - Ugh, no that means I have to

  • do the kissing scene with Devon!

  • - I have to kiss Claire? Yuck!

  • - Oh grow up. You're just nervous.

  • Which is why we're gonna start with the kissing scene.

  • Go ahead.

  • Kiss.

  • - Ugh!

  • (dramatic music)

  • (both gagging)

  • - Oh it's like kissing my sister.

  • - What's wrong with kissing your sister?

  • Oh who- who said that?

  • I- I wouldn't say that. I don't think kissing

  • your sister is cool. That's not...

  • would never do that.

  • - Well that's a totally different movie if

  • you kiss your sister. I'm willing to watch it.

  • - Internet's out? School's out.

  • - And now if you'll remember, the country was

  • in a dire situation after the first world war-

  • - Hey uh, teach? Is that an alexa behind you?

  • - No but there is one in this room.

  • Guys, can we please keep this conversation

  • focused on World War 2?

  • - Alexa, order 100 rolls of toilet paper.

  • - Okay.

  • - Alexa! Cancel that!

  • (laughter)

  • - Who said that? Which one of you was it?

  • - Alexa sing happy birthday volume 10.

  • - (loudly) Okay, let's do this.

  • Happy birthday to you!

  • - Alexa cancel!

  • (laughter and Alexa still singing)

  • - Guys, this isn't funny all right?

  • It's not funny so don't do it again.

  • - Alexa, read off internet search history.

  • - Cosplay girls big butts.

  • (more laughter)

  • - I cannot, I cannot!

  • - I fucking hate you guys.

  • - Because we don't have big butts?

  • (laughter)

  • - I'm sorry am I saying something funny guys?

  • Is war funny? Is that funny to you guys?

  • Huh? Grow up. And why is there a cat on my head?

  • What kind of sorcery is this?

  • - Boy, gee golly whizz, these jumping jacks

  • are hecka hard.

  • - Blahhhh blah blah blah

  • I'm sorry class, it's just it's too much fun.

  • - That scene where he's holding the knife and he's

  • showing Gamora and he says all things are about balance.

  • It's a very big foreshadowing scene for

  • everything that was coming up soon.

  • (snap)

  • Bye Bradley.

  • (snap)

  • Bye again, Bradley.

  • - You? I would never go to prom with you. Go away.

  • I would never go to prom with you in a million years.

  • You're like the biggest loser at this school.

  • I would never go to prom with you, go away.

  • - Oh, that's a ball. That ball slipped out.

  • They're gonna have to censor that.

  • There is some serious ball slippage comin' out

  • of these uh, these shorts.

  • (weird sounds)

  • - I can't do the splits in real

  • life so this is accurate to my body.

  • Quarantine mindset be like...

  • Where is she?

  • - Fran, don't mess with my underwear.

  • You are such a colossal bastard only when

  • I start filming, otherwise you're the most

  • well behaved lil' baby ever and I don't understand it.

  • You don't even do this while I'm streaming!

  • Why? How?

  • Why? Why?

  • Last try.

  • - Dude, this took me 10 minutes to make.

  • His little plate of magic.