Welcome back to another episode of

TwoSet in Quarantine.

That's right. If you don't know why we're separate,

go watch our other video, you, you...

unsupportive Ling Ling wannabe.

Just kidding, guys. Don't take it personally.

Just kidding, just kidding.

We'll be in quarantine, life is difficult.

We're getting all agitated at home.

Yes.

Well...

Today we will be roasting

some strange gadgets on these Chinese websites for-

that are related to the violin.

Let's do it.

Chinese reading practice time. Let's go!

Right now it says...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

This is the God Pillar.

- Oh, this is... - Oh wow...

If you want to challenge Ling Ling, guys,

get the God Pillar.

You know it's like, legit, too.

'cause there's a crotchet.

They must be musicians.

And so... it says here on the...

the next line down.

Ooh...!

Basically, it say-

I... I can't read the rest.

But it's saying...

It's a God Pillar rod that will...

improve your tone quality

for violins, violas, and cellos.

Violas, this is your chance to become a god.

Yeah, finally you can sound good with the God Pillar, violists.

Alright, there's a video here.

Should we watch it?

Wait, pause, pause...

First of all...

*speaks in high pitch* Why is she talking like this?

*speaks in high pitch* Hey guys, welcome to TwoSet Violin!

It sounds like she has a God Pillar up her-

Wait, pause, pause, pause!

Alright, first of all, she said...

"There's 9,800 people using this in the world."

Using it, yeah!

Dude, that's such a randomly specific number!

Ha ha!

Like not 10,000, they say 9,800.

I can't tell if they're trying to be honest about it,

or trying to just pretend to be honest about it.

And, and...

Apologize, my Chinese is not that good.

But I think she said...

"It will make your violin sound..."

"value of 90,000 dollars?"

Does a Strad that's worth 10 million dollar

get improved down to 90,000 dollars?

Like how does that work?

It's like, if you have a violin more expensive,

it just goes back down to 90,000.

Yeah, it goes down in value.

Wait, wait, wait!

Pause, pause...

- What is she doing?! - Wow...

WHAT IS SHE DOING?!

It actually is a metal rod in the violin!

AHH!!!

Okay, putting the rod in is one thing.

But think about the other side of the rod.

What is it doing to the wood on the other side of the violin,

near the neck?

Dude... That poor violin!

It's going up the violin's...

Butthole.

Eddy: Yeah!

That is against violin rights.

And look, it says in the subtitle in the video,

"only takes 10 minutes to install."

Dude, what the f***!

I have never met a violinist,

unless they're like a freaking trained luthier,

that just takes out the endpin, and put something inside.

Oh, you need the sound post to not move as well.

'Cause if you release the pressure, the sound post will drop.

Then you've lost all your sound.

But don't worry, guys. The metal rod will save you.

Whoa!

Stop!

Did you see that?!

- The freaking nail, ha ha! - They just stabbed the wood!

It stabbed the block of the-

Oh my god!

Guys, you do not poke holes in your instrument.

The holes, they are all premade and preset

by luthiers and violin makers.

Don't. Make. Any. More. Holes.

Brett: Stop the holes.

Stop the holes!

Just based off the claim that

this is easy to insert and only takes 10 minutes,

that's ********.

I don't think to this day I've done this to my violin.

Taken the whole tail piece off myself.

Don't do it.

You need a luthier.

Hi, guys!

We wanted to ask an expert to just get their opinion.

So Olaf.

We've got uh-

It's our friend, A Cup of Copee.

It's supposed to actually screw right here into the top block.

- Without being able to see anything, - Yeah!

- how would you even get it to the middle of the... - Yeah!

top block, you know?

When you guys told me, I got an old cello spike.

So we can kinda see what it's supposed- Ha ha ha...

So it's-

So it's supposed to go through the middle of the instrument.

I mean, this is solid.

So I mean it's really close to the sound post.

So if someone self-installs this,

it's likely that they'll knock over the sound post in the process.

How bad would it be

if you actually accidentally screwed it in through the rib,

and the screw comes out the other side.

Alright, pause!

She said it again, right?

99-

- Oh wait! - 990,000.

No, that's...

990,000!

"...worth of tone quality direct to your house."

Guys, you want some...

- 990,000 worth tone quality direct to you house - Innovation of the year!

in a package?

I'll probably just grab it, and go...

That metal thing literally looks like

a bubble tea stainless steel straw.

Eddy: There's no science. It's just a hollow metal rod.

That's not gonna make your violin sound better.

Can I just say how impractical this is?

'Cause most violins are not all the same size.

I don't know if it says that you can like,

move the metal up and down,

like, extend the length or not, to adapt to your violin size.

That's just gonna be sticking out of the...

butthole of the violin.

At the bottom, you see how there's 3 rods next to each other?

Brett: Yeah.

And it's like...

"The stainless steel one will sound brighter,"

"whereas the carbon fiber one"

"will sound darker and warmer," like...

Oh wait.

Steel looks bright, carbon fiber looks dark.

"We'll just use that as a selling point."

Guys, please.

I really hope...

no one bought this.

Oh, and look, look!

If you keep going down, there's the version with the cellos

that extends to the endpin.

- And if you keep going down, there's a model. - WHAT THE ****!!

- Why is she naked!? - Why is there a model with-

Okay, blur it out, editor.

Did she get the God Pillar?

Is that what-

What? Why?!

"Before you install it,"

"your instrument is sick,"

"it needs to be cured by this God Pillar."

Wait, so are they saying

this woman is the God Pillar now

to save your sickness?

Dude, look at the model's face.

Look how badly photoshopped that is.

Wow... Yeah...

Holy moly! That crop!

Dude, even at the bottom, they got a real instrument.

They show you on the cello.

No...

Dude, oh, there's comments!

"My sound improved."

- No... - "I've got it today."

Oh, people are actually buying this!

No...

I don't know if they bought it, or these are like fake paid comments.

Wait, now we gotta watch the second video.

This is good.

So "male, female, old, young."

"Just one..."

"Penetration."

Dude, you just need one penetration.

It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl,

if you're old or young.

"You just need a s-"

Alright, pause, pause...!

Oh my god!

First of all, if you're gonna use Pirates of the Caribbean,

- you're immediately losing credibility from any... - Yeah.

classically trained professional.

Or just any legit musician.

Yeah!

I love how they try to show that everyone is using it.

They've got a bunch of people...

that all...

fell for this trick.

But why are there all guys?

I thought it says guy and girl can both use it.

- Yeah. Ha ha! That's true. - Have you noticed everyone is a dude!

Like, in my experience, learning violin at the con.

Typically, there's a little bit more girls

that learn the violin than guys, right?

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. - Like, it's pretty equal, but it's like 60 to girls,

40 to guys.

But this is all men.

Eddy: I haven't seen a single woman in this.

I can't help but feel like

this is some weird pyramid scheme cult

- kinda feeling. - Yeah, I was thinking that!

- I was like Ponzi scheme or something. - Yeah! Yeah.

They're all like trying to sell it.

Wait!

Pause!

Was there-

- Was there a guitar? - Yeah, there was a guitar, too!

Wow!

And it keeps saying like...

it's gonna solve...

"暗藏的危-"

危...

危...

"危害"

Like...

Solve the hidden damages to your instruments?

Eddy: Or something like that, I think it's what it said? Brett: Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it doesn't matter what-

You can't see the damage, guys, on your instrument.

You just know it's broken.

Okay, so it takes the pressure from the strings for the violin.

Your violin is going to reincarnate.

Okay, first of all, theory-wise, like...

You need the pressure.

That's what makes the sound.

It's not going to work.

What do you actually think would happen

to the sound of a violin if you stuck a...

- rod through it? - Look, I...

I can't see it being good for the instrument.

Like, the whole instrument is supposed to move

and everything is supposed to move.

So if you put something that's rigid inside it,

it must stop some of those vibrations.

There was an Australian maker,

and he actually put a bar,

he put a timber bar in exactly the same position.

It's through the middle of the instrument.

But he did it because of the climate.

Those instruments actually ended up

sounding better without the bar.

Like, we carefully removed the bar and put it aside.

And it actually sounded better, so...

You know.

- When the inventor... - There you go!

just need to chill out, and stop adding too many things.

Back to the metal rod, I'm-