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  • Next.

    下一位。

  • [If Google was a guy]

    [如果 Google 是個人]

  • Google.

    Google。

  • Six feet away, please.

    請保持社交距離,謝謝。

  • Am I glad to see you.

    很開心見到你。

  • I'm sure you have questions about the pandemic.

    我相信你對疫情一定有些問題。

  • Are rhinos elephants?

    犀牛是象類嗎?

  • Are what?

    蛤...?

  • Toilet paper in bulk.

    散裝廁紙。

  • Sold out, sorry.

    已售罄,抱歉。

  • Ah, paper towel in bulk.

    嗯...散裝紙巾。

  • Sold out, too.

    也售罄了。

  • Tissue paper in bulk.

    散裝衛生紙。

  • Sold out.

    售罄。

  • You know, in olden days we just used rags.

    知道嗎,在以前,我們都只用破布。

  • Underwear in bulk.

    散裝內褲。

  • Very gross.

    很噁!

  • How do I Zoom?

    要怎麼使用 Zoom?

  • Videoconferencing is a great way to stay connected.

    視訊是和他人保持聯繫的好方法。

  • Do I Zoom on Facebook?

    可以用臉書來 Zoom 嗎?

  • Where to begin.

    要從哪裡開始解釋?

  • How do I Facebook?

    臉書怎麼用?

  • How islands stay put?

    島嶼是怎麼待在原地的?

  • Nothing about coronavirus?

    不問問新冠肺炎?

  • The quarantine?

    隔離?

  • Islands have anchors?

    島嶼有錨嗎?

  • Mojito recipe.

    莫希托調法。

  • So you're going to need mint.

    你需要薄荷。

  • Don't have it.

    我沒有。

  • - Lime. - Don't have it.

    - 萊姆。 - 我沒有。

  • - Club soda. - Don't have it.

    - 蘇打水。 - 我沒有。

  • And rum.

    跟蘭姆酒。

  • Woo, mojitos.

    耶!莫希托!

  • Online yoga class.

    線上瑜伽課程。

  • Good for you staying in shape.

    還想到要維持身材不錯哦!

  • Online Zumba class.

    線上 Zumba 舞課程。

  • Regular exercise is a great stress reliever.

    規律運動可以減輕壓力呢!

  • Online crossfit class.

    線上混合健身課程。

  • Just be careful to...

    只是要小心...

  • Online chiropractor class.

    線上整骨教學。

  • Pace yourself.

    不要做過頭。

  • The rate of spread in foreign countries.

    在外國的散播率。

  • The U.S. government response.

    美國政府的應對。

  • Exclamation point but for quiet.

    驚嘆但小聲表達的符號。

  • Chicken.

    雞肉。

  • A lot of grocery stores are sold out so you're gonna need to get creative.

    許多超市都沒貨了,所以你得想想創意的方法。

  • Farms near me.

    最近的農場。

  • Good thinking.

    好想法。

  • Some farms will deliver vegetables right to your door.

    有些農場可以運蔬菜到你家。

  • Stealing chickens.

    偷雞。

  • Uh, not that creative.

    噢,太有創意了吧。

  • How to wash hands...

    怎麼洗手——

  • Soap is one of the best weapons we have against the virus.

    肥皂是對抗病毒的最佳利器之一。

  • Memes.

    的梗圖!

  • Ugh, these are pretty funny, actually.

    呃,這些其實,還蠻有趣的。

  • Jewel's "Hands" but for how to wash hands.

    Jewel 的歌「手」,如何洗手版。

  • Ah, she didn't.

    噢,真假!

  • Calculate volume sphere.

    如何計算球體體積。

  • Why not ask a parent for some homeschooling?

    怎麼不叫你爸媽教你?

  • Uh, calculate volume sphere.

    呃...如何計算球體體積

  • These hands are washed like so

    ♪ 手手這樣洗 ♪

  • With water first

    ♪ 先打濕 ♪

  • And then with soap

    ♪ 再用肥皂 ♪

  • This slaps.

    這個讚喔。

  • Dow Jones.

    道瓊指數。

  • Bad news.

    壞消息。

  • S&P 500.

    S&P 500 指數。

  • Ooh, yikes.

    呃,慘囉!

  • NASDAQ.

    納斯達克指數。

  • Sorry.

    我很遺憾。

  • Animal Crossing real estate.

    動物森友會房市。

  • Not a real thing.

    沒這東西。

  • Dollar to turnip exchange rate.

    大頭菜的賣價。

  • How long quarantine?

    隔離還要持續多久?

  • This says two months.

    這則報導說兩個月。

  • Months?

    月...?

  • This says six months.

    這篇說六個月。

  • Oh my God.

    我的天啊...

  • And this says 2021.

    這篇則說 2021 年。

  • I have longer, if you want.

    還有更久的結果,想聽嗎?

  • Animal shelter.

    動物庇護所。

  • Animal shelters are struggling right now so it's a great time to bring home a quarantine buddy.

    動物庇護所經營地很辛苦,所以現在去領養個居家隔離好夥伴也不錯。

  • Adopting a chicken.

    領養雞。

  • Not that creative.

    不用那麼有創意!

  • Time of day.

    現在幾點。

  • 4 p.m.

    下午四點。

  • Day of week.

    今天星期幾。

  • Thursday.

    星期四。

  • Month of year.

    現在幾月。

  • April.

    四月。

  • 2020 can suck my...

    2020 年可以去——

  • Ah, so you know the year.

    噢,所以你還知道現在西元幾年。

  • What do I do?

    我該做什麼?

  • Do the five.

    做那五件事!

  • Wash your hands often, cough into your elbow, don't touch your face, keep a safe distance from others, and stay home.

    常洗手、咳嗽用手肘遮遮、不要碰臉、保持社交距離,還有待在家。

  • You're touching your face.

    妳在碰臉。

  • I suddenly can't stop.

    我突然就控制不住自己了。

  • Flat curve theory.

    大曲率曲線理論。

  • Finally.

    終於!

  • Flatten the curve means that if we practice social distancing we can control the spread of the virus over time, keeping hospitals from being overwhelmed and saving lives.

    平緩曲線代表如果我們實施社交距離,就可以控制病毒的傳播,讓醫院不會過於忙碌,進而拯救人命。

  • Sorry, flat earth theory.

    抱歉,地平說理論。

  • Oh God, I need a mojito.

    天啊,我需要一杯莫希托。

  • Miami beach parties.

    邁阿密海灘派對。

  • You realize how irresponsible this is?

    你有意識到你這樣有多不負責任?

  • I'm 22.

    我才 22 歲。

  • You could still give the virus to someone older than you or someone immunocompromised or die from it yourself.

    你還是有可能傳染給較年長的人,或是免疫力不好的人,甚至你自己也可能因此死亡。

  • No one is completely safe.

    沒人是安全的。

  • Sexy HAZMAT suit.

    性感的防護衣。

  • Stay home.

    給我待在家!

  • How to feel normal?

    要如何感到正常?

  • Look, it's normal to not feel normal.

    聽著,覺得自己不正常,是很正常的。

  • We've never gone through anything like this as a modern society so go easy on yourself and look for pleasant distractions.

    我們從沒經歷過這種事情,所以對自己好一點,可以看看一些輕鬆的東西來讓自己分心。

  • Exclamation point but for quiet.

    驚嘆但小聲表達的符號。

  • Let's find out.

    來看看吧!

  • These hands are washed liked so

    ♪ 手手這樣洗 ♪

  • With water first

    ♪ 先打濕 ♪

  • And then with soap

    ♪ 再抹上肥皂 ♪

  • Scrub back and forth

    ♪ 好好搓揉 ♪

  • And to and fro

    ♪ 再來一次 ♪

  • For at least 30 seconds

    ♪ 至少 30 秒 ♪

Next.

下一位。

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