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  • What do you want?

  • More of bicep?

  • Two Rolex?

  • Yeah.

  • Hey, guys, I'm Thompson Girl.

  • Nine Bryant burnt crystals.

  • They brought back the two biggest guest from hot ones to do one episode together.

  • That's right.

  • It's not Kevin Horton.

  • Shaquille O'Neal.

  • It's fucking wall a 23 goddamn bar with Russian mob dammit!

  • Hey, guys, check this out on truth or DAB this week, Hot ones.

  • First we feast.

  • First feast, Bert!

  • Tom, Let's go.

  • Hey, what's going on?

  • Everybody For first we feast.

  • I'm Sean Evans.

  • And welcome back to another episode of truth or dab the hot One Special where we give our guests to simple options.

  • Tell the truth or suffer the wrath of the last AP.

  • And today we're joined by two of our favorite comedians, Friends of the brand Tom Segura on Berk, Kreisher.

  • They both have Netflix specials out right now.

  • Your mom's house and Bert cast wherever you get your podcasts, catch Tom live on the second half of his ticket down tour tickets on sale now and coming to a city near you and for Burt fans, fall tour dates for his Body shots World Tour will be announced later This month.

  • Get your tickets.

  • Bert.

  • Tom, Welcome to the show.

  • Thanks, buddy.

  • Thank you for having both of us in front of you guys have three scorching hot chicken wings that have all been doused in various versions of the last dab of a series of personal, potentially awkward questions for each of you.

  • Do you realize how hard that's gonna be?

  • Tell you what, my great our careers made unjust.

  • Saying the worst things about ourselves on our podcast for the last nine years.

  • I'm dying to see these questions.

  • Well, we'll see how far we can push you guys today in Burt.

  • Let's start with you.

  • You seem eager.

  • I'm very eager.

  • You just finish the North American leg of your body Shots tour.

  • Of the 28 cities you've visited, which one was the biggest dump who can't wait to come back next year?

  • It's getting started.

  • Diving right in Rockaway was all believe.

  • How is that not a bad man?

  • Unclear with Bo is going in committee.

  • Well, on the tour hot.

  • Yeah, Burt, you dove right in.

  • It's like you forgot what it's like to be here.

  • You know, you just let me a bottle of this on my tour bus.

  • I gave it to my assistant Cobra, and he threw up immediately.

  • Started throwing up.

  • It's a good sales point.

  • Yeah, Yeah, it's not.

  • This part is when it comes out that that's a bad one.

  • Yeah, I've guided hot ones.

  • First time season.

  • Too early, fan.

  • You were for his famous family.

  • Yeah, I know.

  • And tell everyone that.

  • Holy fuck.

  • Um, what was I talking about?

  • I shit my pants and security going through the airport LAX.

  • You know, we've got the beginning part of the story.

  • I will ask them.

  • I was on hot ones.

  • I didn't Shit.

  • My fucking all right.

  • That's questioning these tables Go lower was just for coming hard.

  • When you don't think that just because your dad I think I think I think it might be weight related.

  • All right, Tom, it's your turn.

  • Okay?

  • Touch dog.

  • In your intro, you host your mom's house podcast along with your wife and co host Kristina P fellow comedian.

  • What's this secret that you've kept from her that she would not be happy to hear if she were, say, watching right now in a wing Go Tom diving in, Bert setting a high bar Said Tom.

  • Now tell it Now tell it.

  • Oh, so bad about Oh, ma'am, do this is like taking a Viking in your brain just shuts down.

  • I jerked off on her pillow.

  • We don't want to eat the wings and then tell the truth.

  • Yeah, choice.

  • You know, if you're going to tell the truth, you don't have to eat the wing.

  • That was really bad.

  • Well, it hurts the laugh Are these didn't 100?

  • Do they gonna get hotter round to All right, guys roll with a group of heavy hitters and comedy But it's time to burn some bridges Bert rank these comedians from funniest the least funny.

  • Joey D S R H Fear Joe Rogan and Tom Segura.

  • Yeah.

  • Holy shit, man.

  • Yeah.

  • How is this?

  • So much worse than last time?

  • You get to kind of work your way up to the last stab when you're on the show here.

  • Very steep.

  • Ramp up when we just lay three last tab wings down or is the least funny?

  • You say that, Okay.

  • You don't actually have to answer.

  • I just want to put that out there.

  • So everyone knew that easily.

  • All right, Tom.

  • Shit.

  • Yeah, Again stirring the pot a little bit.

  • I know that you're a very nice guy, but comedy it's a competition.

  • It's a sport.

  • So keep it 100.

  • Who has the worst stand up special on Netflix right now.

  • I know it.

  • I know.

  • You know.

  • What do we just talked about it in the green room?

  • Wait, I can't talk.

  • Damn it, Dude, what you're doing.

  • It's a tough show.

  • It's a tough show you if you have a least favorite one.

  • Disgraceful.

  • God damn it.

  • Throwing it at work.

  • I really actually wanted to answer that one.

  • I don't know the answer.

  • Well, now there's no point, which is something a little something.

  • Okay, word you've said it was it wasn't to be funny.

  • And it was like it was I thought provoker was a Ted talk.

  • Who's good?

  • Can we see her next one?

  • All right.

  • Aunt around three Might have to toss some or wings for these guys.

  • A mountains on fucking fire, bro.

  • Uh, Tom?

  • Yeah.

  • You're known as the water channel right here.

  • We're gonna actually put the Aquaman knowledge to the test.

  • You know, it's one thing to drink water and call yourself the water champ.

  • And how much do you really know about water?

  • I'm gonna hit you with a water pop quiz.

  • Get all three of these questions, right.

  • You're totally in the clear, but get one wrong.

  • You know the drill.

  • Fuck, man.

  • All right.

  • How much of the human body is water?

  • And, I mean, a normal body.

  • Not like a water champs body, is it?

  • 20%.

  • 60% or 95%.

  • 60 of them.

  • Know how it's gonna be 60.

  • You fill with blood.

  • Your skin's 10.

  • No, it's 60.

  • 60%.

  • 60%.

  • Good job.

  • All right.

  • Which of the Great Lakes is the deepest between Lake Superior Lake, Michigan, and Lake Ontario.

  • Tear coming down.

  • It's always that Left eye time.

  • Michigan, Right.

  • It is superior.

  • Goddamn, Let's Let's do this till you're growing way.

  • Aaron, let's do a little double or nothing.

  • All right?

  • You have that wing.

  • Let's go to this last question here.

  • All right, We get it right, you're in the clear, But get it wrong.

  • We up the stakes, you'll dab last wing.

  • Okay?

  • Okay.

  • When you know he's saying right, you got Put some stuff on it.

  • I heard him sold in a 14 carat, diamond encrusted bottle.

  • Beverly Hills 90 H.

  • 20 claims to sell the most expensive bottle of water in the world.

  • How much does it cost?

  • $45,000.

  • $75,000 for 100 grand.

  • Come on, man.