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  • TONIGHT, PRESIDENT TRUMP SPOKE AT A RALLY IN SUNRISE, FLORIDA.

  • AS YOU MAY KNOW, DONALD TRUMP RECENTLY CHANGED HIS OFFICIAL

  • RESIDENCE FROM NEW YORK TO FLORIDA, AND THIS RALLY WAS

  • PLANNED BY HIS CAMPAIGN TO FORMALLY WELCOME HIM TO THE

  • STATE.

  • BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING TRUMP AND HIS SUPPORTERS STAND

  • FOR, IT'S MAKING NEWCOMERS FEEL WELCOME.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • TRUMP'S DOING HIS BEST TO FIT IN WITH THE OTHER OLD PEOPLE LIVING

  • IN FLORIDA.

  • HE'S EVEN ORDERED HIS MOTORCADE TO LEAVE THE LEFT TURN SIGNALS

  • ON AT ALL TIMES.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS TRUMP'S FIFTH RALLY

  • SINCE THE BEGINNING OF NOVEMBER.

  • AT THIS POINT, TRUMP THROWS MORE EVENTS FOR HIMSELF THAN A

  • 23-YEAR-OLD INFLUENCER CELEBRATING THEIR "BIRTHDAY

  • MONTH."

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • BUT, EARLIER TODAY, HE WAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE, WHERE YOUR

  • COUNTRY'S STUPIDEST TRADITION TOOK PLACE ONCE AGAIN.

  • THIS MORNING, YOUR PRESIDENT WAS BUSY DOING THIS:

  • >> I HEREBY GRANT YOU A FULL AND COMPLETE PARDON.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: TO BE CLEAR,

  • THIS ISN'T A TRUMP THING.

  • IT WAS DUMB WHEN OBAMA DID IT TOO.

  • BY THE WAY, THE PRESIDENT PARDONED TWO TURKEYS, NAMED

  • BREAD AND BUTTER.

  • HERE THEY ARE THE NIGHT BEFORE, STAYING IN AN ACTUAL HOTEL.

  • LOOK AT THEM.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) MAKES SENSE TRUMP WOULD PARDON

  • THE TWO WHITEST TURKEYS ON THE PLANET.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

  • ONE THING IS FOR SURE, THOSE TURKEYS AREN'T FROM LOS ANGELES.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) INSTEAD OF BREAD AND BUTTER,

  • THEY'D BE NAMED JUICE AND CLEANSE.

  • LAUGH BUT TRUMP GOT A LITTLE CARRIED

  • AWAY.

  • AFTER GIVING PARDONS TO TWO THINGS WITH A LOOSE, WOBBLY

  • NECK, HE ALSO PARDONED SENATOR MITCH MCCONNELL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • IN OTHER NEWS, HERE'S A CRAZY STORY FROM PENNSYLVANIA.

  • A BROTHER AND SISTER WERE RECENTLY ARRESTED FOR FIGHTING

  • OVER WHO WOULD RIDE IN THE PASSENGER SEAT.

  • RIGHT?

  • NOW FOLLOW ME HERE: THE SISTER WAS ANGRY BECAUSE

  • HER OLDER BROTHER LET HIS GIRLFRIEND SIT SHOTGUN IN THE

  • CAR INSTEAD OF HER.

  • THEY BEGAN FIGHTING IN THE CAR, IT LED TO A POLICE CHASE, AND

  • THE SISTER EVENTUALLY ATTACKED A COP AFTER THE COP THREW HER

  • BROTHER ON THE GROUND.

  • THEN THEY BOTH ENDED UP IN JAIL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SO, THINK ABOUT THIS STORY

  • DURING THANKSGIVING DINNER.

  • YES, THERE ARE WORSE FAMILIES THAN YOURS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • I MEAN, IT DOES MAKE SENSE, IN A WAY.

  • THE HOLIDAYS ARE ALL ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH LOVED ONES--

  • WHETHER THAT MEANS AROUND THE FIREPLACE OR IN A HOLDING CELL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) THE INCIDENT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN

  • A BROTHER AND SISTER IN RURAL PENNSYLVANIA, SO YOU KNOW WHAT

  • THIS MEANS.

  • THE MAKE-UP SEX IS GOING TO BE GREAT.

  • ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( LAUGHTER )

  • ( APPLAUSE ) IT'S JUST A JOKE!

  • AND, FINALLY, THE MASSACHUSETTS STATE POLICE HAVE A NEW

  • CRIME-FIGHTING TOOL AT THEIR DISPOSAL.

  • IT'S A ROBOT DOG NAMED SPOT WHICH CAN BE USED IN SITUATIONS

  • THAT WOULD BE UNSAFE FOR POLICE OFFICERS.

  • HERE IT IS IN ACTION HERE, LOOK AT THIS:

  • IT'S THE FIRST POLICE ROBOT IN THE COUNTRY.

  • LOOK AT THAT THING!

  • IT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING AND I SURRENDER.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO THE MANUFACTURERS,

  • THE ROBOT CAN ALSO SERVE AS A THERAPY DOG.

  • BECAUSE ONCE YOU SEE IT, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THERAPY.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT IT'S NOT PERFECT YET, THERE

  • ARE STILL SOME GLITCHES.

  • THEY HAD TO REPROGRAM THE ROBOT DOG AFTER IT KEPT DOING THIS:

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

TONIGHT, PRESIDENT TRUMP SPOKE AT A RALLY IN SUNRISE, FLORIDA.

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B2 中高級

科登總統不會寬恕火雞 (President Corden Wouldn't Pardon Turkeys)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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