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  • Four years ago,

    譯者: Pei-Chen Benson Liu 審譯者: Amanda Chu

  • a teenage girl changed my life

    四年前

  • in one conversation.

    與一位少女交談過後

  • She was 13 years old,

    我的人生有了大大改變

  • she was a friend's little cousin

    那位少女當時 13 歲

  • and she casually told me

    是我一個朋友的親戚

  • that she had met the man she was going to marry.

    她無意間跟我說

  • So I said, "OK, tell me about him."

    她遇到了真命天子,要跟他結婚

  • And she told me that his name was Harry Styles.

    我說:「他是怎麼樣的人呢?」

  • (Laughter)

    她告訴我

  • So I laughed a little, like you,

    他名叫哈利·史泰爾斯(Harry Styles)

  • and then she said, "I know you don't think I'm serious,

    (笑聲)

  • but I'm actually going to be with him.

    我像各位一樣也笑了出來

  • Because I love him so much

    她接著說

  • that I would slit someone's throat to be with him."

    「你覺得我在開玩笑,對吧?

  • (Laughter)

    但我真的要跟他在一塊

  • And that was the moment

    因為我已經深深得愛上他

  • that I became obsessed with fangirls.

    殺人放火也在所不惜。」

  • I didn't know it then,

    (笑聲)

  • but that moment would transform the course of my life

    也就是那個當下

  • and go on to change everything that I thought I knew

    我對迷妹深深感到著迷

  • about being an adult,

    那時候我還不知道

  • being a woman

    我一生會因此改變

  • and being truly happy.

    甚至我對成熟、女性 還有幸福的看法

  • But before we get started,

    也不如以往

  • what is a fangirl,

    開始前,

  • and what is a Harry Styles?

    迷妹是什麼?

  • Well, according to the dictionary, the Merriam-Webster dictionary,

    哈利·史泰爾斯又是誰?

  • a fangirl is a "girl or woman

    根據韋伯字典

  • who is an extremely or overly enthusiastic fan

    迷妹是指「某人或某物的女性粉絲

  • of someone or something."

    極盡熱情甚至是到狂熱的程度」

  • Technically, you can have fangirls of anything,

    其實說來,什麼事情都有一群迷妹

  • but my specific interest was in fangirls of boy bands.

    我感興趣的是喜愛男孩樂團的迷妹

  • Because of their somewhat lethal reputation.

    因為她們似乎有點聲名狼藉

  • I remember, my dad had told me this story of some Beatles fans in the '60s,

    記得我父親跟我說過

  • who apparently had torn a parked BMW to literal pieces,

    60 年代的披頭四粉絲

  • because the band had supposedly just been sat in it.

    把一輛路邊的 BMW

  • In the '60s, the Beatles were the biggest boy band on the planet,

    活生生拆成碎片

  • but when I met this girl in 2015,

    只因為樂團成員可能剛坐過那輛車

  • the biggest boy band on the planet was none other than One Direction.

    60 年代當時,

  • And Harry Styles was a member of One Direction.

    披頭四是全球最火熱的男孩樂團

  • Harry Styles was reputed for his compassionate demeanor

    但我剛提到的女孩 是 2015 年的事情

  • and perfect hair.

    那時最蔚為風潮的

  • I learn this when I read thousands of tweets about him.

    當然就是 1 世代(One Direction)

  • I learn that he is a sweet cupcake.

    哈利·史泰爾斯是成員之一

  • I learn that he is a perfect angel.

    他以極富同理心和一頭完美秀髮著稱

  • I learn that one time,

    這是我是從幾千條推文知道的

  • he vomited on the side of a freeway in California

    大家都說他是甜心、天使下凡

  • and that within two hours,

    我還讀到有次 他在加州的高速公路邊嘔吐

  • fans had turned the site of the vomit into a sacred shrine.

    接著兩小時之內

  • (Laughter)

    粉絲把那一攤嘔吐物變成了神壇

  • I scroll through --

    (笑聲)

  • (Laughter)

    在網路上,我滑過······

  • I scroll through fan-made paintings of Harry,

    (笑聲)

  • baby photos of him,

    我滑過好多為哈利畫的畫像

  • paintings of baby photos of him.

    他的嬰兒照

  • I watch videos that show me how to make DIY love totems for Harry --

    用他嬰兒照描繪的畫像

  • for example, a lampshade covered in photos of his face,

    還看到教學影片教大家

  • or a key ring that states the exact time of his birth.

    如何自製哈利愛的圖騰

  • I read hours of fan fiction,

    像是有種燈罩,上面都是哈利的臉

  • and I fall down this specific rabbit hole

    或是有種鑰匙圈,

  • of stories that actually place me as a protagonist

    寫著哈利確切的出生時間

  • inside of various imagined romances with him.

    我花好多時間讀了粉絲撰寫的小說

  • So in one, I tell him that I'm pregnant with his child.

    這些故事把讀者 設定為第一人稱的主角

  • In another, we meet in hospital where we're both fighting cancer,

    我讀到非常入迷、無法自拔

  • and in another, we fall so deeply in love

    寫得盡是與哈利的種種浪漫情節

  • that we become fugitives who kill people.

    有一個故事是這樣的

  • (Laughter)

    我告訴他我懷了他的孩子

  • But then ...

    另一個是我們在醫院相遇

  • something unthinkable happens.

    同時在與癌症戰鬥

  • One Direction, the biggest boy band on the planet,

    還有一次是我們深深相愛

  • loses a member.

    情勢卻逼得我們成為亡命的殺人犯

  • Zayn Malik quits the band,

    (笑聲)

  • and the internet explodes with feels.

    但接著卻發生了預想不到的事情

  • I read tweets as these girls describe the physical pain of this loss,

    1 世代這個最受歡迎的男孩樂團當中

  • how they can't eat or sleep or walk.

    有一位成員離隊了

  • I read them describe how much Zayn had meant to them.

    贊恩・馬利克退出了樂團

  • And I watch videos of 10-year-old girls crying.

    網路上隨即充滿感傷

  • But, like, really crying.

    有些推文寫著

  • And then I watch as people repost these videos but with new titles

    女粉絲甚至還感到身體的傷痛

  • that contain words like "crazy" and "creepy" and "insane."

    吃不下、睡不著,也走不動

  • And suddenly, my YouTube sidebar contains

    她們形容贊恩對她們來說 有多重大的意義

  • "Compilation: Fans react to Zayn leaving.

    我也看到一段影片

  • Psycho alert!"

    是一個 10 歲小女孩在哭

  • Then I watch as mainstream news outlets cover the story.

    真情流露,哭得很傷心

  • I read them describe these "young banshees."

    接著我發現大家開始 轉貼這段影片,卻改了標題

  • I read one journalist say,

    其中充斥著「瘋子」、「可怕」 「荒唐」這樣的字眼

  • "It's a commonly known fact since the age of the Beatles

    我的 YouTube 也隨即出現

  • that there is nothing scarier in this world

    「贊恩退團的粉絲反應合輯

  • than a group of excited teenage girls."

    警告:神經病出沒!」

  • (Laughter)

    主流媒體也報導了這件事情

  • And then I ask myself a question I've never considered in my life.

    形容她們是「年輕班西女妖」 (傳說班西尖聲號哭預報死亡)

  • Why is it that the image of young girls screaming their lungs out with excitement

    有一位記者說:

  • for a pop star

    「大家都知道從披頭四那時開始

  • is considered crazy, psycho,

    最可怕的事情莫過於 一群興奮的少女了。」

  • scary, a bit much?

    (笑聲)

  • But the image of young boys screaming their lungs out for a footballer

    因此我開始思考 一個我從未有過的疑問

  • is perfectly normal?

    為什麼女孩看到明星

  • Boys crying at the footie,

    興奮地放聲尖叫的畫面

  • that's the love of the game.

    會被說成瘋子、神經病 可怕、反應過度?

  • Girls crying at a Justin Bieber concert?

    但男孩看到足球員放聲尖叫

  • That's pathetic.

    卻是正常的事情?

  • And as soon as I realized this double standard,

    男生看足球賽看到哭

  • I realized that all of my curiosity about fangirls

    是因為熱愛這項運動

  • had been sparked by exactly the same judgments.

    女生看小賈斯汀演唱會看到哭?

  • I, too, had suspected that they were a bit crazy.

    那就是件可悲的事情

  • I'd looked at images of girls screaming for the Beatles,

    當我認知到這樣的雙重標準後

  • the Backstreet Boys, One Direction,

    就發現我對迷妹之所以好奇

  • and the word that had come to mind was not "excitement"

    就是源自這樣的看法

  • but "hysteria."

    我自己也曾經覺得她們未免瘋狂了些

  • And what I did not know was the history of that word.

    當看到女孩為了披頭四 新好男孩、或 1 世代尖叫時

  • That in the 19th century,

    我覺得她們是「歇斯底里」 而非「熱血沸騰」

  • hysteria was considered to be a legitimate female mental disorder

    「歇斯底里」這個字的歷史

  • that could be diagnosed by doctors

    我當時有所不知

  • if women displayed excessive emotion or difficult behavior.

    19 世紀時,

  • The word "hysterical" comes from the Latin word "hystericus,"

    大家認定歇斯底里是種女性心理疾病

  • meaning "of the womb,"

    如果女性表露過多情緒或很難相處

  • because it was thought that this condition was caused by a dysfunction of the uterus.

    醫生可以就此做出診斷

  • And so, a treatment for hysteria

    「歇斯底里」這個詞 源自拉丁文的「hystericus」

  • was a hysterectomy.

    也就是「出於子宮」的意思

  • Which is what we still call a removal of the womb.

    因為當時人們認為是子宮出了問題

  • And at this point,

    要治療歇斯底里,

  • I decide to redeclare my obsession.

    便要透過子宮切除術

  • Because I am no longer just obsessed with fangirls.

    到現在這個字還是一樣的意思

  • Now, I'm obsessed with the way that the world talks about fangirls

    我因此把注意力放到另一個問題上

  • and the way that the world looks at young, female enthusiasm.

    我不再只對迷妹感興趣

  • Because, I want to know,

    更好奇社會對迷妹的看法

  • if girls grow up in a world

    還有社會如何看待年輕女性展現熱情

  • where words like "crazy" and "psycho" and "hysterical" are casually used

    因為我想知道

  • to describe female enthusiasm,

    如果女孩所處的世界

  • then how does that shape the way that those girls get to see themselves?

    常以「瘋子」、「神經病」 「歇斯底里」

  • And if girls grow up in a world that tells them

    來形容女性的熱情

  • that they are designed just a bit crazier than the boys,

    她們又會如何看待自己?

  • then isn't that a little bit like telling them

    如果女孩所處的世界

  • that they are born less capable of rationality than men,

    總是灌輸她們,

  • less capable of reason

    女孩生來比男孩更為瘋狂

  • and unworthy of the same intellectual respect as their brothers.

    這不就等於是在說

  • Separately, I become obsessed with female screams.

    女性比男性缺乏理性

  • Not in a creepy way.

    更沒判斷力

  • I'm talking about, like, those shrieks and squeals

    在智能上,不應得到 自己兄弟所受的同等尊重

  • that fangirls let out at concerts.

    另外,我也對女性尖叫 這個行為感到興趣

  • I want to know why it is

    不是讓人發毛那種

  • that some people instinctively flinch when I merely describe the sound,

    而是演唱會上會聽到的那一種

  • like it's painful just to think about it.

    我想知道為什麼

  • Then I meet Amy Hume.

    每當形容這樣的聲音時,

  • She's a voice coach.

    人們總是倒退一步

  • And she blows my mind.

    像是想起一件痛苦的事情一般

  • Because she tells me that the female voice

    我找了 Amy Hume

  • between the ages of 11 and 13

    她是位聲樂教練

  • is one of the most interesting things to study.

    給我留下了深刻的印象

  • Why?

    因為她跟我說 11 至 13 歲女性的聲音

  • Because there's this research by Carol Gilligan

    用來研究會很有趣

  • that says that is the age

    為什麼呢?

  • when girls begin to perform and alter their voices.

    卡羅爾.吉利根(Carol Gilligan) 所進行的一項研究發現

  • For example, adding breath for maturity,

    在這個年齡,

  • (Imitating vocal fry) or adding vocal fry for apathy.

    女孩會開始展現、調整聲音

  • (Laughter)

    舉例來說,刻意加氣音來增加成熟度

  • But tell me, according to this research,

    (模仿氣泡音) 或是用氣泡音表達她們毫不在乎

  • when do you reckon boys begin to perform and alter their voices?

    (笑聲)

  • Now, I guessed 18,

    根據這份研究

  • because "men mature later," right?

    各位猜男孩又是什麼時候 開始表現、改變聲音呢?

  • Wrong.

    我當時猜是 18 歲

  • The answer was four years old.

    因為男孩「比較晚懂事」,對吧?

  • Because that is when boys learn not to cry or squeal.

    這是錯的。

  • That those are not manly sounds.

    答案是四歲的時候

  • And that's when I realized

    因為男孩會試著不哭不吼

  • that a fangirl's shriek is therefore like a superpower.

    這些聲音太沒有男子氣概

  • (Laughter)

    因此我認為

  • Because it's this fearless and honest expression

    迷妹的尖叫聲就像是超能力

  • of pure celebration and joy,

    (笑聲)

  • and it's a sound

    因為這樣的聲音 無畏又真誠得表達情緒

  • they have not forgotten how to make.

    展現了純粹的歡樂和喜悅

  • I actually reckon that fangirls have a second superpower,

    女孩還沒有遺忘這樣的聲音

  • because they know how to do something

    我認為迷妹其實還有另一種超能力

  • that most of my adult friends have no idea how to do.

    因為他們能完成的事情,

  • Fangirls know how to love something without apology or fear.

    大人無能為力

  • My years of researching fangirls

    迷妹了解如何真心愛上某件事情

  • culminated in this determination

    而不必感到抱歉或恐懼

  • to write something that celebrates and vindicates them.

    我研究迷妹那些年

  • So I decided to make this thriller comedy musical

    讓我最後決定

  • that sounds like a Beyoncé concert meets rave meets church.

    要以寫作來替她們辯白

  • I called it "Fangirls,"

    來讚揚她們

  • and I designed it like a Trojan horse.

    我因此決定製作一齣驚悚音樂喜劇

  • So it appears to make fun of these young women,

    聽起來就像是碧昂絲的演唱會

  • only to, like, smuggle them into your heart.

    加上狂歡舞會又加上教會

  • (Laughter)

    定名為「迷妹」

  • Thanks.

    我將這齣劇設計得像特洛伊木馬

  • (Applause)

    表面上像是在嘲笑這些年輕女性

  • At one point --

    但其實是要讓你們偷偷愛上她們

  • Thanks.

    (笑聲)

  • At one point, a girl sings,

    謝謝

  • "Why should I hide my feelings?

    (掌聲)

  • Because they annoy you?

    有一幕

  • Or because it isn't what the boys do?"

    謝謝

  • And as a former fangirl cynic,

    有一幕,有個女孩唱道

  • that is the question that I want to leave you all with.

    「為什麼我得將情感隱藏起來?

  • Why should fangirls tone it down?

    因為你不喜歡?

  • Because they're crazy?

    還是因為男孩沒有這麼做?」

  • Or because our definition of "reasonable"

    我之前也曾對迷妹種種行為感到不屑

  • is based on what it is acceptable for men to do?

    現在想問各位一個問題

  • What if we rethink the judgments we've been conditioned to feel

    為什麼迷妹應該低調些?

  • when we see young women screaming their lungs out with excitement?

    因為她們很瘋狂?

  • What if we decided to rethink the words we use

    或因是我們給予「理性」的定義

  • to describe that joy,

    是以可接受男性的行為為基準?

  • and what if we didn't allow ourselves to diminish girls

    年輕女性興奮時聲嘶力竭地喊叫時

  • with words that undermine their intelligence,

    我們是否能跳脫制約

  • their interests and their capability?

    以不同角度重新 思考和判斷她們的行為?

  • Because, according to my research,

    形容那種喜悅時 我們能否重新考慮用詞?

  • they are capable of building a shrine to Harry Styles's vomit

    或是不論是在智力、興趣或能力方面

  • on the side of a freeway within two hours.

    不再使用貶低女性的字眼?

  • (Laughter)

    因為根據我的研究

  • That takes some executive skills in logistics and communication.

    她們能兩小時內,在高速公路上

  • (Laughter)

    哈利.史泰爾斯的嘔吐物旁

  • If that isn't "capable," I don't know what is.

    建造一處神壇

  • (Applause)

    (笑聲)

  • I reckon, instead of judging fangirls, we can learn from them.

    這在物流和溝通上 需要相當的執行能力

  • We can all die tomorrow,

    (笑聲)

  • so why not love things while we're still breathing?

    這樣子已經是「能幹」的最高境界了

  • And with that,

    (掌聲)

  • I'd like to ask you all to try something with me.

    我認為與其品頭論足

  • Can I get you all to stand up?

    我們更該跟迷妹學學

  • Stand up if you can, stand up.

    人難逃一死

  • Alright, so here's what's going to happen.

    那為何不在活著的時候 盡情追求所愛?

  • I'm going to count to three

    正因為這樣

  • and when I finish,

    我想要請大家跟我一起做件事

  • I'm going to ask every single one of you

    可以請各位起立嗎?

  • to let out your very best fangirl scream.

    如果可以的話,請站起來

  • (Laughter)

    好,接下來

  • Yeah?

    我會數到三

  • Here is why I am asking you to do this.

    數到三的時候

  • Because if all five-or-so thousand of you do this and really commit,

    我想請每個人 迷妹式得盡情大聲尖叫

  • we all get our first chance to hear that sound

    (笑聲)

  • and to decide that it is not a crazy sound.

    可以嗎?

  • It is a hopeful sound.

    我請各位這樣做是因為

  • So shall we do this?

    如果在場所有聽眾都能一起參與

  • I said, shall we do this?

    各位就有機會聽聽這樣的聲音

  • (Audience: Yes!)

    也能知道這樣做不會像是瘋子

  • Alright. OK, I am going to cheat and I'm not going to go full volume,

    這聲音充滿了希望

  • because I'm miked and we don't want to hear that.

    一起來吧?

  • But it means you all have to go 110 percent.

    我說,一起來吧?

  • You ready? Take a deep breath with me.

    (觀眾:好!)

  • Think of someone you love, let's go,

    好,我會小小作弊不出全力

  • one, two, three.

    因為我有麥克風 大家可不想聽我大叫

  • (Audience screams)

    這代表各位要拿出 百分之一百一十的力氣

  • (Laughter and applause)

    準備好了嗎?一起深呼吸

  • You all just sounded stunning

    想想你喜愛的事物,開始吧

  • and as sane and as intelligent

    一,二,三

  • and as dignified

    (觀眾尖叫)

  • as when you walked in this room.

    (笑聲與掌聲)

  • (Laughter)

    做得好

  • Thank you.

    各位跟一開始走進來時