10 years, And I and I feellikethere's a lotofsimilaritiesbetweenwhatDocIt'lldo.
Andwhatcomediansdoislikeearlyon, I remembersendingoutsidetryingtopassoutgettingpeopleinsideMostyourearlydayswereoutsidebarking, tryingtogetpeopleinFromthatfirstday, itwasjustliketryingtogetattention.
And I juststartedposingand I'm thegreatestandthrowingkisses.
They'rebetterthanme.
Like I wenttheMohammadAliRoad.
Youknow, I figured I hadtomakenoiseallthetimetalkingshit, butyouwerebackingupexactly.
Exactly.
Thisissodoubleagain.
LookonRocket's.
EitherRollingbackwas a dreamcometrueDogWaitforLuda.
What's yourversionofAh, like a heckler?
Heckleris a guythatit's likewe'rebusyontheguy's like a where's myfood?
And I havetobelike a home.
Youget a kissfromyourgirltodayorwhat?
Youknowwhat I like?
I putthepressureonhere.
Youknow, youdon't pressureme.
I usedtoworkat a restaurantsunsetbackinthedayandlikesometimesdocomeintobelike a manNotlikethat.
Can't bebackthereLikenottellyouhowtomakeiteverinmylifeandyouworkintherestaurantbusinessHinds I workedin a fancyFrenchrestaurantand I hadtolearnhowtoopenbottlesofwineandRussiansusedtoalwayscomeandtheyalwayswantedLongIslandicetea.
Long I loatheLeavethebottlesinthebushesandstopwaitingtablesandservingthepublicreallyteachesyouabouthumanityandmakesyouhumbleasheyThankyousomuch.
Thisis a lotofwegotcheese, avocado, theformertortilla.
Wealsogotsomemorelotus, whichislike a Mexicancowzone, ifyouwill.
Andthenwehavethebestideas.
Sodigin, guys.
Doingready?
Thisisheavenbythe.
It's sogood.
I woulddrivedownherejusttodrink.
Thisgoeshard, right?
Oh, myGod.
That's allright.
Youwantyourkidsonpointthemeat.
It's allaboutthemeat.
Whatdoyouthinkaboutthecheese?
It's like a littlelikeitwasstringcheese.
Andthere's a kidbacktherejustpullingitapart.
I don't know.
Wegottasell.
Thatbabythingis a greatmanAndtheswarmofpieces, right?
Yes.
Ittasteslikebacon.
Almosttome.
It's solikethosedickTempslike I likethoseburntdicktips, burntends, burntowntips.
I thinktheycallit a dictator.
Andthatdickshipsnotinterracial.
So a lotofpeopleChristinadidnotknowthattimespokeSpanish.
HowlongintotherelationshipdidyoufindoutthatschoolSpanish, rightwhenhetookmehometomeethismom, andthenthetwoofthemwerelikelike, Oh, youreallyshouldbeon a shiplike a dirtygirl.
Mom, onmymom, like 30.
I'm gonnaaskyou.
Sonowyou'retouringinSpanish?
Whatdoesthatfeellike?
Areyoustartingalloveragain?
I mean, it's, uhit's reallyactuallythemostexcitingthingthat I'vedoneinstandup.
I feellikemywholecareerbecauseinEnglishnothingyouhaven't figuredout.
You'realwaystryingtofigureitout.
Butitjustwas, like, kindof a rhythmthatyougetusedtodoingit.
I'm notdoingitinSpanish.
It's thekindofnerves, butlikeexcitementthat I feltwhenyou'reliketwoorthreeyearsin, haveyouseenhimnervousbeforeTheshow's kindofthing.
ThedatethathewasgonnadohisfirstSpanishour I thinkyouwerereallynervous.
I haven't seenthatnervoussince, like 2005.
Itwaslikehewasstartingover, and I havesomuchadmirationforhimtoevendothat.
I mean I can't evenimaginetheirlot.
What's thebiggestdifference?
Youwouldsay?
LikefromEnglishtoSpanish?
Youknow, oneofthechallengingpartshasbeenlikedialectstuffbecausetheSpanish I speakismostlyfromSouthAmericafromBrewPerfect.
Thatfrompeoplethatdon't knowwhatitis, I guessitiskindof a newworldlaneofstandUp, wherenowomenarereallytalkingabouttheambivalenceofmotherhoodandnotjustlikeit's amazing, youknow, But I, liketalkabouttherealstuffthatnoonereallywantstoadmit.
I thinkthat's thejuicyfundparts, theannoyingparts, becauseeverything I seesofaristobullshit.
It's likewe'rejust a coupleofsoccermoms, momgreat.
Yeah, because I thinksocialmedia, like, I thinkwomenespecially, areconditionedtobepolite, compliantandnotcomplainingandneversayanythingthat's remotelyunattractive.
So, youknow, onceyougetoutoftheMatrixis a womanyou'relike.