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  • Marie: Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create

  • a business and life you love, and today, I want to talk to you about a rarely used technique

  • that'll make you more powerful, more persuasive and more charismatic in three seconds flat.

  • No, I’m serious. It really works.

  • Now, this is cumulative meaning you have to turn this into a habit to really get all the

  • results I promised and a bit of a warning. What I'm about to tell you to do is terrifying

  • and most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid it, but like a pap smear, it’s

  • over fast and it really works.

  • I just did it. Did you catch it? If not and you missed it, here it goes again. That was

  • a live demonstration of the three-second IAP, the intentional awkward pause. Now why on

  • God’s green earth would you ever want to do that? I’ll tell you. Because being a

  • really, really good listener is one of the most underrated secrets to success. It’s

  • crucial if you want to be more charismatic, more persuasive and a better negotiator, plus

  • really listening to someone and having them feel truly heard is one of the biggest gifts

  • you could ever give. As Larry King says, and yes, it’s a tweetable:

  • “I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So

  • if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.”

  • The problem is most of us suck at listening and we don’t even know it. Were always

  • interrupting others with our brilliant ideas and our feedback and most often it’s often

  • the way that we suck the most. I'm probably one of the worst offenders out there but I

  • am consistently working on this and I have to say the IAP is a lifesaver. Not so long

  • ago, I used it with my stepson Zane and had an unbelievable result.

  • Zane was home on Christmas break from college and he invited me to go for cappuccinos. A

  • little backstory here. In the ten years plus that we've been in each other’s lives, he

  • never really asked me for life advice, so we get to this place, Café Minerva and were

  • hanging out, and Zane starts to tell me all about his life and what he might want to do

  • with it. He’s very involved with music, he’s involved in acting and all these creative

  • things. Basically, he’s asking me for the kind of advice that I give for a living, so

  • you can imagine, every single part of me just wanted to jump in and tell him what to do

  • and tell him what I think andyada, yada, yada,” but I practiced the IAP and I just

  • sat there and I zipped it.

  • Every time I did this and I just shut up, it was amazing because he would just reveal

  • more and more insights, he’d find new things to talk about, he’d find his own insights

  • that were way better than anything I could have told him and it was really amazing. I

  • have to be honest, my body was literally uncomfortable being silent, so every time he would come

  • to an end of a sentence, I would sit and see if there was more, and it was absolutely awesome.

  • By the end of three hours, we had the most beautiful conversation and we left that café

  • feeling more connected and more intimate than I think we've ever felt; so, just a little

  • story to show that it really, really works.

  • We also use this all the time on my team and once again I am probably the worst offender,

  • but Tana is the master. She's actually the one that brought it to us and she's the one

  • that keeps us in line so you can definitely use this in the workplace too.

  • Now I want to turn this all back to you. Two part challenge this week.

  • Number one: what is your worst listening habit? Do you always interrupt people? Are you constantly

  • thinking about what you're going to say next or do you do something calledfake listening?”

  • This particularly happens on the phone when you're supposedly listening to someone but

  • you're really doing e-mail instead. Here's the thing. We all have bad habits but once

  • you identify, you can rectify.

  • Number two: I want you to tell me in the comments below where is the most impactful place that

  • you can start using the IAP today? Is it with your family? Is it with your work environment?

  • Leave a comment below and let me know.

  • As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com so go

  • there and leave a comment now.

  • Did you like this video? I did. If you did, if you did, subscribe and share it with your

  • friends. And if you want even more resources to create a business and life that you love,

  • plus some insights from me that I only talk about in e-mail, get those buns over to MarieForleo.com

  • and sign up for e-mail updates.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll see you next time

  • on MarieTV.

Marie: Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create

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    姚易辰 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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